Joni - ERP

[Guest guest]

I have definitely been looking for a book like that. I got " Zelah Green " but

it's a girl and she goes to a treatment center - does a few exposures that

would be super tough for my son - and gets a little better - not where we are

right now. Can you give more info? Thanks so much.

Rhonda

Re: Joni - Erp

Hello,

Your are very welcome and don't hesitate to fire off any additional thoughts

or questions you have. Please keep us up to date on how's going with your son. I

don't if this would help your son but my son did write a book about his

experience with OCD (with me as editor - we self-published) - The Ray of Hope: A

Teenager's Fight Against Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It's mainly a book for

teenagers with OCD written by one who has it. I hope it's appropriate to mention

it here - I just kept thinking about it might help with your situation.

Best,

Joni

>

> Joni -

>

> thanks again for writing this out. You have come a long way and it's amazing

to see how you hung in there! It's very encouraging to me to see all your ups

and downs, because we have had so many and after awhile it's hard to get back

up. I\

[Guest guest]

Hello Rhonda,

I could never get my son to read about OCD so when we decided to write his book

we put it in answer/question format to make it easier for readers to find what

they are interested in. For example, my son answers questions like: Why did OCD

happen to me? Should I tell my friends about my OCD? and How does exposure

response prevention therapy work? One of the reasons we put together this book

was because we couldn't find much for teenagers. If you would like to see more,

take a look at Vermilionpress.com

Hope this helps,

Joni

>

> I have definitely been looking for a book like that. I got " Zelah Green " but

it's a girl and she goes to a treatment center - does a few exposures that

would be super tough for my son - and gets a little better - not where we are

right now. Can you give more info? Thanks so much.

[Guest guest]

I found Ray's book on Amazon! Wow, that is so exciting! Were there any other

helpful books you used? Does this mean I can get rid of Grayson and Chansky? I'm

tired of reading long, long books that don't really give me any immediate tools

I can use. Therapist used Grayson and it sunk like a brick. I have been reading

some OCD blogs to my son but I kept saying, " I'm sorry, there aren't any by

teenage boys! " I'm so glad to find this. What do you think of OCD- a workbook

for teens - before I spend another 10 bucks on a book?? Would it be good to use

alongside Ray's book? Or should I get Ray's book first and see if I need the

other one?

Rhonda

Re: Joni - Erp

Hello,

Your are very welcome and don't hesitate to fire off any additional thoughts

or questions you have. Please keep us up to date on how's going with your son. I

don't if this would help your son but my son did write a book about his

experience with OCD (with me as editor - we self-published) - The Ray of Hope: A

Teenager's Fight Against Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It's mainly a book for

teenagers with OCD written by one who has it. I hope it's appropriate to mention

it here - I just kept thinking about it might help with your situation.

Best,

Joni

>

> Joni -

>

> thanks again for writing this out. You have come a long way and it's amazing

to see how you hung in there! It's very encouraging to me to see all your ups

and downs, because we have had so many and after awhile it's hard to get back

up. I\

[Guest guest]

Hi Joni

Could you give some examples of what your son would say and you would say back

in terms of resistance, keeping him on board, having to switch to something new,

how you transitioned everything? Also did you have him " boss back " or do the

" four steps " or " worry hill " or taking his " SUDS " or " scripts " --- yeah, I've

heard it all!! I've got posters all over the bathroom and my son's desk with

this stuff. Tell me I can take it all down.

Rhonda

Re: Sue - Erp

Hello Rhonda,

I'm sorry your experience with your therapist has been a little tough. I agree

with you when you said that you think that your and your son could do the ERP on

our own.

I agree that your son should have some input into the hierarchy but I also

worry that if it was all up to your son that he would be tempted to make it too

easy. Maybe you should construct most of it but be prepared to be flexible. In

our case, I came up with exposures without my son's input because he wasn't

interested in thinking about it (I'm the one who ended up paying my son to do

ERP because it was the only way I could think of to get him going with it.)

I also found out very quickly that I needed to be flexible with the ERP and to

substitute exposures as we went along. My ideas weren't always as good as I had

hoped they would be but found that I could quickly find new ones. I could do

this because, like you, I knew my son's symptoms better than anyone else.

In our case, it was necessary to do exposures every day. I had tried just

doing minor ones several times a week but found that this approach didn't work

for us. We ended up hitting ERP hard during my son's school breaks.

Hope this helps,

Best,

Joni

[Guest guest]

Hello Rhonda,

We didn't use any workbooks - I could never get my son to cooperate with

anything like that. I think the main book that helped us was " Imp of the Mind "

by Lee Baer - It helped me a lot and sometimes I read parts of it to my son.

There were patients described in that book who had obsessions similar to my

son's (ie, sexual obsessions. Other than that book, I can't think of one that

really helped us. I have read a lot of different books and got some ideas from

each of them. I now have a small library of OCD books and find that I keep

adding to them (am thinking about getting the one you mentioned - Zelah Green).

Best,

Joni

>

> I found Ray's book on Amazon! Wow, that is so exciting! Were there any other

helpful books you used? Does this mean I can get rid of Grayson and Chansky? I'm

tired of reading long, long books that don't really give me any immediate tools

I can use. Therapist used Grayson and it sunk like a brick. I have been reading

some OCD blogs to my son but I kept saying, " I'm sorry, there aren't any by

teenage boys! " I'm so glad to find this. What do you think of OCD- a workbook

for teens - before I spend another 10 bucks on a book?? Would it be good to use

alongside Ray's book? Or should I get Ray's book first and see if I need the

other one?

>

> Rhonda

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello Rhonda,

You ask some great questions and ones that are not easy to answer, but I'll do

my best. I remember that my son was resistant to doing the ERP and it took a

lot of encouragement on my part to keep him going. He says, even today, that

what got him going in the beginning was the money, which is the incentive I

used. He knew that if he walked away than he wouldn't get paid. I think he

also realized what OCD was doing to his life and was hopeful, in his own way,

that ERP would work - nothing else had up to that point. As to what my son said

during these episodes - I remember him saying things like " You have got to be

kidding. I can't do this. I can't believe you are making me do this. " As for

me, I would do my best to keep calm, remind him of why we were doing this, that

when we got through the exposure, he could take a break, that I really thought

that ERP would work, that he should think about what he could buy with his money

- and anything else I could think of at the moment to keep him going. I also

told him that I knew how hard it was for him to do the ERP and that I was sorry

that there wasn't an easier way to help him with his OCD. I also apologized a

lot because sometimes I pushed too hard. There were times when he would walk

away from me. When that happened I would let him cool off for a while, then go

and find him, apologize, and start over.

I didn't use the " bossing back " or " worry hill " ideas because my son often

didn't have the patience to listen to ideas like that. Whenever I tried to sit

him down and show him any type of OCD treatment plans, he would just tune me

out. I think this was because it was too hard for him to focus with all his

obsessions or that by talking about OCD it would trigger even more obsessions.

As far as using posters, I don't have any advice about it because it never

occurred to me to try posting things about OCD around my son. But, it sounds

like you don't think it's working for your son, so I would probably take them

down and try something else. I think that if I had tried posting OCD-related

posters around my son, it would probably have only made him mad at me. But, I

could see why it might work for some kids, just not mine.

Hope this helps.

Best,

Joni

>

> Hi Joni

>

> Could you give some examples of what your son would say and you would say back

in terms of resistance, keeping him on board, having to switch to something new,

how you transitioned everything? Also did you have him " boss back " or do the

" four steps " or " worry hill " or taking his " SUDS " or " scripts " --- yeah, I've

heard it all!! I've got posters all over the bathroom and my son's desk with

this stuff. Tell me I can take it all down.

>

> Rhonda

>

>

[Guest guest]

Great. I feel much more comfortable with this. It makes sense! I have recently

started apologizing a lot more to my son. It helps him cope with things. I guess

I am on the right track. Thanks Joni. I ordered the book from the Vermilion

site - cheaper than Amazon! ;-) I love your blog there.

I hope someone else has benefited from this, as I feel I've been flooding the

list for a couple days. It has gotten me right side up again, and I thank all

for your patience and help.

Rhonda

Re: Joni - ERP

Hello Rhonda,

You ask some great questions and ones that are not easy to answer, but I'll do

my best. I remember that my son was resistant to doing the ERP and it took a lot

of encouragement on my part to keep him going. He says, even today, that what

got him going in the beginning was the money, which is the incentive I used. He

knew that if he walked away than he wouldn't get paid. I think he also realized

what OCD was doing to his life and was hopeful, in his own way, that ERP would

work - nothing else had up to that point. As to what my son said during these

episodes - I remember him saying things like " You have got to be kidding. I

can't do this. I can't believe you are making me do this. " As for me, I would do

my best to keep calm, remind him of why we were doing this, that when we got

through the exposure, he could take a break, that I really thought that ERP

would work, that he should think about what he could buy with his money - and

anything else I could think of at the moment to keep him going. I also told him

that I knew how hard it was for him to do the ERP and that I was sorry that

there wasn't an easier way to help him with his OCD. I also apologized a lot

because sometimes I pushed too hard. There were times when he would walk away

from me. When that happened I would let him cool off for a while, then go and

find him, apologize, and start over.

I didn't use the " bossing back " or " worry hill " ideas because my son often

didn't have the patience to listen to ideas like that. Whenever I tried to sit

him down and show him any type of OCD treatment plans, he would just tune me

out. I think this was because it was too hard for him to focus with all his

obsessions or that by talking about OCD it would trigger even more obsessions.

As far as using posters, I don't have any advice about it because it never

occurred to me to try posting things about OCD around my son. But, it sounds

like you don't think it's working for your son, so I would probably take them

down and try something else. I think that if I had tried posting OCD-related

posters around my son, it would probably have only made him mad at me. But, I

could see why it might work for some kids, just not mine.

Hope this helps.

Best,

Joni

>

> Hi Joni

>

> Could you give some examples of what your son would say and you would say

back in terms of resistance, keeping him on board, having to switch to something

new, how you transitioned everything? Also did you have him " boss back " or do

the " four steps " or " worry hill " or taking his " SUDS " or " scripts " --- yeah,

I've heard it all!! I've got posters all over the bathroom and my son's desk

with this stuff. Tell me I can take it all down.

>

> Rhonda

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Joni, it's fine to share about your son's book here, it is a book about OCD

by a teen with OCD, which I'm sure a lot of teens, and even younger, would

rather read. Always nice to read something by someone who has gone through it!

I don't see it as any self-promoting thing, if that's what you're concerned

about. I still think it's great he wanted to do a book, good he felt so open

about it to share and want to help others.

>

> Hello,

>

> Your are very welcome and don't hesitate to fire off any additional thoughts

or questions you have. Please keep us up to date on how's going with your son.

I don't if this would help your son but my son did write a book about his

experience with OCD (with me as editor - we self-published) - The Ray of Hope:

A Teenager's Fight Against Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It's mainly a book

for teenagers with OCD written by one who has it. I hope it's appropriate to

mention it here - I just kept thinking about it might help with your situation.

>

> Best,

>

> Joni

>