Anxiety and OCD - new to group in Kentucky

[Guest guest]

I have 6 children ranging in age from 10yo to 23yo (5 sons & 1 daughter)

all of which has some form of anxiety. I am seeking help for my kids my

17yo daughter and 11yo son.

Trying not to get too lengthy for your sake but if I do, please accept my

apology now. ;-) I have had concerns for my children for many years due to

the high stress level in our home and had attributed (assumed) their

behaviors were due to the constant stress and upheaval at home. My husband

and I separated. We have been out for 6 months and instead of getting

better as I had hoped, it has actually gotten worse. A close friend has

given me the opinion that the kids are decompressing and feeling safe now

to show me how they truly feel whereas before they kept a mask on to help

keep the peace at home or were probably afraid to " let it all out " . I

believe this is a reasonable conclusion.

The two that I am most worried about at this time are my daughter (17yo)

and one of my youngest sons (11yo). Both children have had a generalized

anxiety from a very early age (under 5) with worries about things that I

always thought were not " age appropriate " . Such as asking if the bridge we

are driving across will fall down (at 4 yo) and then worrying excessively

about it happening and what happens if/when it does. It was as if the worry

or thought was stuck and they could not let it go. My son also developed

the need to check with me about absolutely everything, constantly asking

" is this ok " or " is everything ok " ? I attributed it to the uneasy feeling

in the household and that he was just a worrier. Last fall around his 11th

birthday, I noticed that he seemed to be washing his hands a lot to the

point that I had to start putting a heavy lotion or cream on them because

they were becoming raw and irritated. Now within the last few months he has

decided that everything has germs and he cannot touch anything without

worrying that he should wash (and then rewash) his hands. Over the past

month he has decided that certain doors in the house cannot be touched so

he has his younger brother open them for him. :-( After reading and

researching, I have come to the realization that he has (and has always

had) OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). During my reading and research I

have also come to the realization that my daughter also struggles with OCD

along with her Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Social

Anxiety.

My 18yo son was put on Zoloft for Generalized Anxiety, Panic Attacks and

Social Anxiety at age 11yo and we did try my daughter on Zoloft when she

was younger 11-12 but it seemed to have side effects for her including more

of a depression state of mind where it worked wonders for him. He is still

taking it and feels the symptoms coming back every time we have tried

weaning him off it. With the medication, he is living on his own

successfully holding a supervisory type position in contact with the public

everyday at work. I hated using medication but at the time we had tried

many alternative treatments (from 9-11yo) with him and nothing helped. His

symptoms were such that the panic attacks kept him from functioning so you

could not miss the signs. Some how I missed the fact that my daughter was

struggling with basically the same thing only worse with the OCD thrown

into the mix and did not pursue any further treatment for her.

She has recently let me know that she was " hiding " things from me because

she did not want to burden or upset me. She was masking or covering so that

she seemed ok or normal was her comment. Now she is in a complete state of

constant anxiety because she says that she is basically an adult but does

not feel like she is ready to deal with the world. She knows that she is

lacking the skills and abilities to do so. I am heart broken that I had

been so wrapped up in my problems that I did not realize the depth of her

pain and struggles. At home she is very responsible and is actually better

at keeping the household running than I am so I think that made it easy for

me to just overlook any small things that seemed " off " to me. I am not

going to dwell on the past and what should have or could have been done. I

want to focus on the future and getting her the help and treatment that she

needs. As well as help and treatment for her younger brother. I am also

thankful at this point that his symptoms blew to such a proportion that I

had to notice or I may not have come to the realization that my daughter

was also struggling.

I will also note that my daughter struggles with learning disabilities that

greatly hinder her reading and written communications - auditory processing

disorder, dyslexia, dysgraphia - which add to her anxiety and have

developed into what seems to manifest as a fear of reading and writing. At

this point, I am researching and interviewing to find a therapist -

psychiatrist - for her and her younger brother. I am also looking into

diet, nutrition, vitamins, herbals, etc that may help balance them. I was

very careful about those things when they were young but over the past 5

years as the problems with my husband and married life got worse, I just

gradually quit paying attention to it and now think that may be why there

symptoms have grown over the last several years.

Feel free to email any insights, suggestions, recommendations that you may

have. I have a preference for natural alternatives vs medication but I am

open to looking into anything that may help them but do realize that (as

with my other son) sometimes medication is the only way to help.

Cheryl