Debbie, Re: Huge Vent!

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

You sound absolutely exhausted, discouraged and overwhelmed.  You have much on

your plate, your son is making demands on you that you never dreamed of, and you

have a home daycare on top of that, taking care of other children's needs all

day.  We understand.  There are many of us on this site who are struggling to

parent our children who are burdened with severe ocd, aspergers, learning

disabilities, etc.  We never dreamed that parenting could get this difficult. 

It demands much of us and their siblings.  It has changed our lives.  

The most important thing I think is that you must constantly remind yourself

that you and your beloved son are " on the same team " .  You are suffering, and so

is he.  His life will be difficult and he will need your love and support for a

long time to come.  He is the sweet guy you identified at the beginning of your

post;  the behaviors which make family life so difficult are a result of his

illness.  At 12, he is still very young to get a handle on his illness.  

Try to read as much as you can so that you understand what is making him behave

in these ways.  " Freeing Your Child from OCD " by Tamar Chansky is a really good

book.  What can you do for yourself?  Is there any way you can get a break away,

even a weekend by yourself?  I have done this several times, driven to another

city (5 hours down the highway), checked into a hotel, read books, gone to the

local zoo and watched movies and " re-charged " .  Don't let yourself think about

your son's difficulties or your family responsibilities for one minute.  I find

it helps me find the hope again, the courage to keep going to support and

advocate for my child full force again.

Courage, it takes a lot of courage.  Take care,