success

[Guest guest]

My 8 yo dd has not been dx, but we feel she has a little anxiety and ocd, but

not enough that it causes problems in her daily life.  She has always had some

social anxiety, most people call her " shy " because of it.  Last year at her

school concert, she had a meltdown before it started and said her tummy hurt. 

She had just gotten over being sick, so we thought she really was not feeling

good. Shortly after that, we found out there was a bully situation in school and

she and her BFF had been bullied.  She was supposed to be standing in front of

the bully at the concert.  We figured that was the problem.  She had done fine

at her concerts the 2 years prior.  She had this year's concert last night.  She

seemed ok, until we were at school waiting for it to begin.  She had a panic

attack, but we were able to talk through it, and work it out.  First, she wanted

to stand by a friend.  I told her she would HAVE to commit to going on stage if

we asked

the teacher to move someone.  She would not commit.  Then she said she wanted

to move, to the middle row.  She is very small and is always in the front row. 

She HATES attention drawn to herself and the thought of being in the front row

was making her panic.  We talked and she said she would go on stage if she could

move to the middle row.  We talked to her teacher, who agreed, and put her by a

friend.  She said she would do it, but not sign.  It was very difficult for her,

but she did it, AND sang, AND smiled!!  It would have been so easy to not make

her do it, but I am so glad we did.  She did great and was so proud!!!!  I feel

lucky that she was able to express what the problem was and we were able to

brainstorm how to fix it.  We told her teacher next year to remember to not put

her in the front row. 

Sharon

[Guest guest]

thanks!  great idea!

Sharon

________________________________

To: " " < >

Sent: Friday, January 20, 2012 4:30 PM

Subject: Re: success

 

That is great Sharon.  When my daughter was that age, it was really helpful for

her to write a little blurp and draw a picture of what she had been afraid to do

but what she DID do.  We proudly posted it on the refrigerator and later would

move it into a memory book.  It was very therapeutic for her to be able to look

back at the things she was able to accomplish in spite of all the anxiety.

Way to go!!!

________________________________

To: " " < >

Sent: Friday, January 20, 2012 11:54 AM

Subject: success

 

My 8 yo dd has not been dx, but we feel she has a little anxiety and ocd, but

not enough that it causes problems in her daily life.  She has always had some

social anxiety, most people call her " shy " because of it.  Last year at her

school concert, she had a meltdown before it started and said her tummy hurt. 

She had just gotten over being sick, so we thought she really was not feeling

good. Shortly after that, we found out there was a bully situation in school and

she and her BFF had been bullied.  She was supposed to be standing in front of

the bully at the concert.  We figured that was the problem.  She had done fine

at her concerts the 2 years prior.  She had this year's concert last night. 

She seemed ok, until we were at school waiting for it to begin.  She had a

panic attack, but we were able to talk through it, and work it out.  First, she

wanted to stand by a friend.  I told her she would HAVE to commit to going on

stage if we asked

the teacher to move someone.  She would not commit.  Then she said she wanted

to move, to the middle row.  She is very small and is always in the front

row.  She HATES attention drawn to herself and the thought of being in the

front row was making her panic.  We talked and she said she would go on stage

if she could move to the middle row.  We talked to her teacher, who agreed, and

put her by a friend.  She said she would do it, but not sign.  It was very

difficult for her, but she did it, AND sang, AND smiled!!  It would have been

so easy to not make her do it, but I am so glad we did.  She did great and was

so proud!!!!  I feel lucky that she was able to express what the problem was

and we were able to brainstorm how to fix it.  We told her teacher next year to

remember to not put her in the front row. 

Sharon

[Guest guest]

Yes, desire to control everything can be an OCD thing.  Fear of change and

uncertainty are big parts of the OCD anxiety.  So, theoretically, if you can

control everything, you have less to fear.  Of course, this is not really

possible, but a 7 year old most likely cannot understand that.  The anger and

mean words are likely to be her way of fighting you rather than the anxiety. 

She can see you and fight you; she cannot see her anxiety and most likely cannot

understand that it is not her any more than a cold or an ear infection are

" her " .  When our older dd was at her worst, she was very angry and had major

meltdowns.  You can try telling your dd (when she is not angry) that you

understand she is scared and angry at the OCD, but you are on her side, you love

her, and you want to help her fight the OCD.  When she is being angry and/or

mean, the best thing is to remove yourself mentally and/or physically from the

situation.  If you try to engage

with her, you may get angry (I did) and she will not be able to listen to you. 

If she is actually hurting others or damaging property, she can help make things

right after she calms down. 

Another thing to remember is that being that angry and anxious is very scary;

she may feel totally out of control.  I used to bear hug my daughter if she was

kicking, hitting, or throwing things.  To do this, you get behind your child

with the child facing away from you and wrap your arms around her/him snugly. 

It is best if you are both sitting.  The bear hug prevents the child from doing

as much damage, protects you, and helps send the message that you are helping

the child get back in control because he/she cannot do it alone.

Remember to try to spend some fun time with her if possible, so that she does

not feel that her OCD is your only focus.  Finally, try to find some time for

yourself to recharge when you can be away from her.

Don't know anything about the new antibiotic for OCD; perhaps someone else can

help you there.

(mom w/OCD, 11.5 yo dd w/OCD, 9 yo dd w/tics and possible OCD)

________________________________

To: " " < >

Cc: " " < >

Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 9:58 PM

Subject: Re: success

We have been experiencing major anger and mean words from our 7 yr old daughter

with OCD. Not sure how to discipline her knowing some is not in her control. I'm

afraid if I punish her for it she will become depressed. Any tips on how to

handle this? Also, she has this strong desire to control everything. I think

that may be causing the anger. Is the desire to control everything an OCD thing

or something different? This is such a challenge. Did anyone read about the new

antibiotic used to treat OCD? It was on the OCD Chicago website.

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