Re: Therapist Update- Jen Chicago therapist?

[Guest guest]

and Jen, Hello!

 

--Im so sorry for you and your son- Its so hard to have to go through this

and find out that the profesionals that you are counting on and paying a great

deal of money to help--dont have a clue.  I have had  alot trouble finding

someone for my dd as well.  I keep hearing from the many wonderful people who

participate in this support group to trust my instincts.  You know your son

better than any therapist. I do believe there are good therapists out

there--they may just be a little hard to find.  Someone suggested that I

should set up a phone conferance before begining with a new therapist --like

an interview to find out if you see eye to eye and make sure they will provide

the services your son needs.   I did not know what to ask before but now I

would.   Just a thought to help you find a good one soon!  Hang in there.

 

Jen-I just noticed that you're in Chicago... Im in the suburbs of Chicago and

have a daughter with OCD whose 13 and we have not been able to find a private

therapist who really knows OCD.  We have been through 2 since

September.  One said she was an expert but she was not.  How do these

professionals get away with this?!  (We almost went to an outpatient program

but I was pursing the PANDAS aspect as this came on suddenly so we're now

working with a Dr. too but he does not help with CBT/ERP).   Would you please

please let me know who you had such success with?  

I'd really appreciate be able to meet with someone who gets it and who will be

able to help us fight this!

 

Thanks so much!! 

 

________________________________

To: " " < >

Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 12:00 PM

Subject: Re: Therapist Update

 

Wow, , your email broke my heart...and made me pissed as hell about your

so-called therapist! I mean, what is this the middle ages? It honestly boggles

my mind that in this day and age therapists don't understand that OCD is a

neurological condition--not an indication of " bad parenting " . Did she actually

use the word " psychopath " ? If so, I'd write a letter of complaint to your

state's medical licensing board. That therapist's behavior was beyond

ignorant--it was downright unethical.

 

My 12-year-old daughter with OCD has been receiving weekly CBT for the past year

with excellent results. Though she was diagnosed at 11, there were definitely

signs by age 7. Like your son, she has intrusive thoughts which frighten and

disturb her. Though her psychologist gives my husband and I some pointers from

time to time, she is always 100% supportive of and empathetic to us--never

blames or criticizes us, or our daughter. And during rough spells, she's my

daughter's lifeline--my daughter is able to call/text/email her anytime, even in

the middle of the night.

 

Good for you for ditching that shoddy therapist! Obviously she was on some power

trip, how she scolded you for watching the DVD without her permission. We

started off with a bad one too: when my daugher was 9 she saw a social worker

who tried to extract information from my daughter with leading questions,

assuming the OCD was caused by some dark secret my child was hiding. My daughter

hated going to see this woman as she felt interrogated and put on the

spot. So after a few sessions of that, I finally educated myself on OCD, and

how it is a neurobiological brain malfunction. That the instusive thoughts

aren't an indication of being a " psychopath " --they're just scary thoughts that

get stuck in an OCD brain. Has your son read " What to do when your brain gets

stuck " ? Might be helpful. Have you read Tamar Chansky's book, " Freeing Your

Child From OCD " ? If not, I highly recommend it!

 

I'm sure you'll find a good therapist for your son--you're on the right path.

Best of luck & take care!

 

Jen (Chicago, IL)

________________________________

To:

Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 1:44 AM

Subject: Therapist Update

 

Hello,

I had posted that my therapist wanted to see my husband and I to discuss using a

different technique to discipline our son, aged 6, who at the time she diagnosed

with OCD (intrusive thoughts). I was truly confused why she thought I needed a

new system, since we NEVER discussed what system our house used. I could have

been using 123 Magic all along and she wouldn't have known.

Well... my husband and I watched the movie she requested. Found the DVD

insightful and figured it was interesting enough for us to try. Actually turns

out, I like it.

We go to the therapist, she reprimanded me for starting the program without her

permission..ok.. didn't realize I needed her permission. We talk to her about

that. Then I ask, OK--now what are you going to do to help my son?

She then proceeds to tell my husband and I that my son is psychopath, has been

afraid of himself and his anger issues since an early age. My husband is like

what? Our son is totally different since this all started, he is a different

kid. In years past he would get picked on, my husband would tell him to stand up

for himself and our sweet boy would tell us that he didn't want to hurt the

other kids feelings, or he didn't want to get the other kid in trouble. He was

always kind, a very sweet kid. Now, he sits around thinking about killing people

all day. She says, he was always so thoughtful and nice to others because he was

afraid to unleash his inner hate and rage... SAY WHAT? She makes this diagnoses

of my son after seeing him 3x's. We have only ever talked about this intrusive

thoughts, I have been in this therapy appointments and I have no clue where she

would come up with that diagnoses. I had a previous post in regards to our last

session where she

got in to a power struggle with my son in regards to where he sat. That is the

only time I could say that he gave her any type of hard time. I have never

spoken to her at about anything but his intrusive thoughts and what affect they

were having on him.

Again asked her, although I knew at this point I was totally through with her,

is there anyway she can help my son with his thoughts. It is very upsetting to

him to keep thinking about this stuff.

Her response, well come back in a month as a family and we'll have a family

session about setting limits and rules in your house. My husband asked her how

she knows what are rules are, and why she decided that we need help with

that...and how was that going to help our son... her response was basically..

well you couldn't have raised a child like this unless there was a break down in

the household.

I left crying.. just wasted 2 months trying to see if this therapist could help

him. Back to square 1, my son yesterday just looked at me and said Why did God

make him this way? He just wants to be back to normal, wants to know why he

can't he stop thinking about these things. Talked to him about bossing back his

OCD and just hugged him and told him that he is a good boy and that he is going

to get through this that I love him. Really, what else can I do?

I am really just venting... up another night with insomnia.. trying to figure

out what I can do to help my child. Spent all day calling therapist, seems that

NJ is in the need of therapist who can see children sooner then 3-4 months.

Trying to figure out how my husband I can pay for therapy without insurance

help.. costs about 150-200 a pop in NJ. Who is worth that much money for 45

minutes?

Sad and confused

(NJ-6 year old son with OCD)