new to group

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I'm new to this list and new to OCD as well. My daughter is 12 and was

diagnosed last summer. Her symptoms don't seem as severe as those I've read on

this list so far, however they continue to impact our family in a big way. We

have tried two different psychiatrists who each did the therapy part as well,

yet I'm not sure at this point the therapy is the appropriate type. No one has

explained OCD to her. They will ask me and my husband what bothers us most and

try to set guidelines for her to wean off doing that behavior, and it works to a

point but over al, her OCD seems to be getting worse. She may be able to stop a

certain behavior but she adds new ones on too. She has been taking 125 mg

sertraline / day but there is just a very minor difference.

I don't yet know enough about OCD to use proper terminology, but this is what I

see happening. Her compulsion is to ask us questions repeatedly. This usually

happens at times of separation from us, such as school drop off, bed time, when

either she or I leave the house. Even though she knows the answers, she will ask

a series of questions over and over again. (Time of return, etc.) They are

usually in the same order, and we have to answer a certain way-yes/no, or

sometimes " right " , or she gets upset and starts over. There are times when it is

obvious the anxiety about separation might be the trigger, but other times it

really seems like a control thing, where not getting an answer wouldn't be

upsetting, such as " Isn't the expression on our puppy's face cute? " and she will

ask that over repeatedly if she doesn't feel my response was satisfactory for

any reason.

I purchased a few books, they all mention CBT and exposre/RP, and I don't think

our psychiatrist is doing it the way the books describe. He's making us as

parents responsible by having us pick which scenario is too stressful/annoying

for us to answer the questions. He has said he doesn't believe in the exposure

approach but is using it because it seems to be working a bit with her.

I will investigate a new therapist for her.

I have the book, What to do When Your Brain Gets Stuck " My daughter flat out

refuses to read it. And why would she want to anyway?? OCD isn't a problem for

her because the whole family meets her needs by answering her endless

questions. So the doctor plays games (Guess Who...) at each appointment, doesn't

require her to address her OCD, and she won't talk about it with us so I feel a

bit lost in what direction to take next. I've thought about quitting my part in

her rituals, and then maybe she will feel uncomfortable enough to want to

address this on her own. She has to want to do it herself.

I know many of you have it much worse so I won't complain other than to say it

does get very frustrating for us in the moment. And of course we worry about her

and if this will increase in the future.

Any input would be appreciated. I just need to understand this a bit better.

Thanks,

Trudy

[Guest guest]

HI Trudy,

Welcome to the group. Much of what you are describing about your daughter

repeatedly asking questions and having to get certain answers sounds very much

like what my son was doing, and I've heard others talk about this as well. From

what I understand, the constant need for reassurance is a part of OCD and as

difficult as it is, the best thing you and your family can do is not enable your

daughter by catering to those needs.

I know myself and many on the list can totally relate to having our lives and

that of our family members dictated and run by a child with OCD. It impacts

everyone and is so difficult to find a balance when trying to deal with it and

avoiding enabling. From what you're describing with the psychiatrist, he doesn't

seem to be well versed in OCD and I would definitely look for someone who is

very experienced with this condition. Have you been to the OCD foundation web

site? There's a page on there where you can search by state to find OCD

therapists/specialists in your area.

It sounds like you are catching her OCD in the early stages, which is great and

if you can find a competent therapist to work with her than that will hopefully

minimize the potential for it continuing to progress.

> Hi,

>

> I'm new to this list and new to OCD as well. My daughter is 12 and was

diagnosed last summer. Her symptoms don't seem as severe as those I've read on

this list so far, however they continue to impact our family in a big way. We

have tried two different psychiatrists who each did the therapy part as well,

yet I'm not sure at this point the therapy is the appropriate type. No one has

explained OCD to her. They will ask me and my husband what bothers us most and

try to set guidelines for her to wean off doing that behavior, and it works to a

point but over al, her OCD seems to be getting worse. She may be able to stop a

certain behavior but she adds new ones on too. She has been taking 125 mg

sertraline / day but there is just a very minor difference.

>