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[Guest guest]

Hi , do let us know how things are going, with the appointment and the

daily " general " stuff at home!

Also, just my thoughts, echoing a few others too. At your son's age, he may

need to feel he has some choices. That can be done in therapy. Like his

choices as to which behaviors to start working on first. You can't tackle them

all at once, which is why a hierarchy list is done, what seems easier (least

anxiety) #1 and up to harder behaviors to give up (more anxiety) #10; and he can

choose a couple things from the lower numbers. Though with the amount he

involves family in some things, it can be worked on some too (if he wasn't to

pick one of those), where you may still accommodate him a bit but it won't be to

the extent of the past; but there will be a Plan with this too, how you will &

won't.

It's so important that he realizes this is all part of the Treatment. Also for

him to know that family is not upset with *him* (though seems that way to him at

times), but it's the *OCD* that is causing the problems, the " issues " and the

" tough love " is done because when someone has an illness such as OCD, they

aren't in control - the OCD is making their decisions. We can argue logic with

them (were you doing this last year, the year before, can't you see how

illogical this all is, you have an illness...) but it generally, I'm sure,

doesn't feel like an illness with mental health.

I've a " bit " of OCD, have had some germ issues and some scrupulosity and even

counting a little, and *I* knew it was a problem and knew it was OCD, so easier

for me to work on. I never have said I have the " disorder " because it has been

easier for me to get past or shrug off. And years with no problems. My son has

the " disorder " and 24/7, really I feel for all who have it. But what I was

getting to is even when I knew it was " stupid " to be washing my hands at the

time, that " feeling " of them needing to be clean (get germs off) is a pretty

intense feeling. What I did was just try to NOT wash (delay); so even if I

washed 2 minutes or 5 minutes later, the delaying helped; plus my own telling

myself it was OCD and I would beat it. But that is because I could clearly see

it was OCD. My own son can't see his " bad thoughts " as OCD; I can have the

exact same thought and know it's OCD. Sigh!

OK, now I'm just rambling, but we are all interested to hear updates on how

things are going with your family & son!

single mom, 3 sons

, 23, with OCD, dysgraphia, Aspergers

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> Thats what I keep hearing from the group and others, to be prepared to make

the tough love decisions to keep the focus on the treatment which consists of

meds and CBT which is primarily exposure therapy. We are just beginning the

journey and now for the first time practiced tough love. I was a wreck since

this is so not me. But necessary to be the " bad guy " pointing the direction and

then realizing they must make the choice. We must be there to hold out our hand

and hugs or continued ultimatums. God this is tough stuff and my heart goes to

everyone here dealing with this stuff.

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