Drs. and Chansky

[Guest guest]

I am currently looking for a school for my son who is 12 yrs old. He was

attending a therapeutic school for 6 months, but i took him out because they

allowed him to spend 8 weeks pacing the halls of the school without education

without trying CBT/ERP, without consulting his doctor, and without informing me.

My son's anxiety is episodic in nature. In all his school years he has never

been violent or acted out in any other manner than to avoid school or a

classroom setting (he tends to refuse school and pace in the halls). He is

respectful and hard working most of the time. He has some sensory issues (sound)

and some social anxiety and a lot of organizational needs.

My son was always an A/B student until his therapeutic day school placement. He

went to middle school last Sept and the size and activity of the school proved

to be too much for him. He obseses about throwing up. In this placement, there

were kids who would throw things across the room, threaten, and act out to the

point that my son could not complete his work. He did not have support for his

organizational needs and failed math (the teacher didn't check to see that he

understood what his homework was, didn't make sure I

knew when tests would be administered, and didn't even check his homework or

understanding of the material). Experiencing his first academic failure, loosing

his grandfather, and being in a new school sent my son into a breakdown where he

was having panic attacks several times a day (afraid of throwing up) and was

unable to sit still for class. He had no real intervention at this

achool and wound up in hospital when he became suicidal. After hospitalization,

he was allowed to pace the halls without intervention (school refusal) and

without education until I became aware that he didn't have the grades to pass.

I met with the therapeutic school officials who admitted that they overlooked

probably because " he is a boy who doesn't act out and is a nice kid who

happens to be anxious " I am presently looking for a supportive school that has a

small student to teacher ratio and is not per se therapeutic (though they should

have someone on hand who is). I am having some academic and psychiatric and

developmental testing done at Yale to make sure that I understand his needs. I

have a very reputable psychiatrist helping him and a CBT therapist on a private

basis. We recently looked at another therapeutic school and my son stayed there

for an afternoon - it sounded as if the kids acted out worse than in the

previous school. They removed my son from a class for his safety!

I think that he would do well in a more traditional school setting where

children are not constantly acting out and where he can get the extra help he

may need with school work and where he can foster relationships with other kids

and re-learn social skills ect. It seems that if he breaks down (becomes too

overwhelmed) and needs to be homeschooled for a time once a year, then so be it.

He has always returned. Is it possible that some kids needs a very different

approach as they learn to cope and to manage their feelings and behaviors as

they grow?

I am thinking that if he has a good school environment and a good psychiatrist

(a new one who now has a handle on his needs) as well as a caring therapist

skilled in anxiety disorders, he does not need to be in a school where kids are

acting out chronically. I am wondering what you think of his school

predicament? Anything opinion would be helpful.

Thanks so much,

Bonnie