Re: clarification on Holland writing :0)

[Guest guest]

Rhonda,

You caught me just before we are getting ready to head out. ( I am not suppose

to be online...yet, love the connected group and will miss it while offline for

a few days.) I am going to " cut and paste " below what I wrote yesterday. As

our families view of the Holland essay would be quite differnt than most. I

would not want to mislead anyone. Yet, feel that sharing our families story,

may also give insight that although accepting that my child has a special need

was very hard for me and took me a while to see what others could see sooner

than I could. This particular story of Holland, worked for us. Like any other

parenting issue, nursing, school choice, sports, or other things, each parent (

I hope ) should choose what works for their family. I very much support all of

you who " would not " read it to your children. I also hope you will support (

with a little help below knowledge about us ) why I thought it best to read it.

Regardless, of what I think, it worked. One day not too long from now, my child

will be able to pick up this book and read it herself. Or go on line and read

things I do not want her to read. Thus, for me, I want her to hear it and know

I am thrilled to be in Holland with her. The red tulip on my window was right

there next to me when I read it and It is is a symbol of the love that helped

make her. Your input and Jordana's has greatly helped me to see, I need to be

careful where and how I share things with other parents.

That said, my kiddo is the kind of girl who will push through any and

everything. So, before she learns about OCD online in a few years, I want to

set a solid foundation of what OCD means to me/ and her Dad, so whatever the

world tells her, is not what she hears, rather she will hear what she learned

at home---unconditional love. Again, I am not perfect, and yes, I loose my

temper at times, have mistaken OCD for willful defiance a time or two. Yet,

always, go back and reassure her that no matter what she does or says, she is a

treasure. I know she gets it. Although she is 7 8 in a few weeks, her grade

level is near 3rd grade. She will either hear about these things in a safe

place at home first, or find out on her own. She keeps eyeing the book I

mentioned to and his wife, and wanting to read it. By the time she can

read, I will have put this book away for a while and leave some laying around

that she can pick up and learn about her life that are more for her to read. I

am guessing that not all children want to read this kind of stuff???? My child

asked me to read some of it to her. I instead read a book about school things

we are working on at home. While I have now put a few items in the book in my

sights, so if she asks me again I can read something out of the book-- a short

paragraph so she will feel it is not a " secret " from her. Yet, I will keep it

simple and include her which is her wish. I am grateful that she wants to

learn. Until about 3 weeks ago she would not have wanted anything to do with

OCD or any help either.

Cut and pasted from an earlier email about our family life here in Oregon

Also, from my heart to anyone who reads this, from the time I was in my early

20's tulips have always been my " Favorite " flower, to the point of " tulips "

being a fun nickname for me at times by family and friends. The first gift my

husband gave me when we went on a date was a stained glass red tulip that has

hung in my kitchen window for over 11 years. I have always loved windmills, and

there is one at a park (large one) near our home. So the poem or story likely

has a very positive and differnt meaning to me than some who read it. The only

flowers my daughter has ever bought me with Daddies help are tulips. So when

she heard the story, it would mean something differnt to her than a child who

did not already understand her Mommies favorite flowers in the whole world are

tulips. I can see after reading some emails my interpretation of pg 14 in the

book I mentioned could have meant something completely differnt to me than

someone else.

Since I am new to the group, I hope this helps any tension that may have come up

from my earlier email to and his wife.

In Oregon, we have miles of tulip fields in late April, it is something to

behold, rows and rows of stunning color and miles of beauty. As I stood the

first time years ago in the middle of a huge field of tulips I thought to

myself, it is like being in a rainbow but standing in the middle of it, with

color and beauty everywhere as far as my eyes could see.

It is my desire that I can take those thoughts and pictures in my mind with me

on my journey with my daughter and her OCD. As they make sense in a time that I

cannot always make sense of what she is going through.

Maybe, this will give a differnt perspective on the writing. It is truly a

beautiful place, differnt, but accepting it brought me peace. So, I could stop

focusing on the OCD in my child and relax into the surroundings and see the

beauty of what I have. A delightful and fantastic daughter who is a gift to me,

that I treasure and always will. Who is more stunning than the biggest tulip

fields in the world. She is the apple of my eye. She knows that. Thus, the

story was ok for me to read to her. Also, why I put that it is not intended for

children. Each parent hopefully knows what will be best for their own child.

When we don't we have opportunities like this to reach out for help.

clarification on Holland writing :0)

Hi Jordana,

Realized in my last email misspelled your name. Think I got it correct this

time.

Went to turn off the computer for the evening, and likley a few days due to

the holiday and realized when I read your first note about Holland and Italy, I

read it differently than you wrote it. To clarify-- for me since I was told the

writing was a good way to describe any disability or special need to someone on

the outside looking in at it-- when I read the writing I see Holland as our

realizing we are working with OCD (or possibly what you thought of as Italy--as

I reread your email on how you read it earlier today re: destinations in the

writing.) I also see Italy as where my friends are that do not have children

with special needs like I do. So apparently my explanation of my " Holland " being

truly a place of beauty to me may mean more if I share when I thought I was

having a child reading it and going to Italy, ended up landing in Holland, which

is how the story in the book I am reading has it written. I suppose it could

have been written in differnt ways, or interpreted by people differently).

Regardless of however each person who reads it interprets the writing, my intent

is to say that my child is so much more to me than what we are going through. I

would be pleased to be her Mother if I lived in Italy, Holland or China. It is

not the place, but the child that is the gift to me. Even on the very

challenging and hard days. :0) For the benefit of those in this forum who have

not read the writing, I thought it would be helpful to clarify I read it over

and over and got the opposite of your email that Italy was where we thought we

were headed, but landed in Holland. I am sure I could find tulips in Italy as

well. I am glad to put this out there if anyone wants to read the story, likley

googling it online should bring it up then anyone who wants to read it can and

hopefully this will help others too. That is the great thing about writing, it

often speaks to people in so many differnt ways.

I wish you all a nice 4th of July!!

Will be back online in a few days.

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