fed up with this

[Guest guest]

OK not so much the school but, Delaney(5)(ASD)started school(public)

about three months ago the first 2 weeks were great then i noticed

that her teacher was starting to miss a few days i thought that maybe

she was just sick so i did not say anything, but for the past 2 in a

half months she has missed at least 2 days every week. i talked with

a parent of a student that was in Delaney's class last year and she

said that the teacher did the same thing all last year but that they

had an aid that was there everyday so she was not to concerned. well

there is an aid this year also but she has only been working with

students with AUTISM since february 2008. So about 2 weeks ago i go

to pick Delaney up early to go out for the afternoon and there was a

sub in the room the aid or the teacher were not there, i walked in

and this lady looked at me all confused and said i am not sure whats

wrong but not one of the students will talk to me(everyone in this

class is non-verbal)as if she had no clue that these were special

needs children. I was infuriated that they would leave my baby with

someone who had no clue what they were doing. but against my better

judgement I once again did not say anything.NOW today i show up about

ten minute early because it was about to rain and i did not wanna

make her walk in it. as i am pulling up to the school i see Delaney

all alone out by the play area.I was in so much shock that i just

paused and watched her i was only about 50 feet away but i was not

in her sight. I see the aid run up to her and basically drag her

back to class so i go up to the classroom and the teacher is not

there only the aid is. I grabbed Delaney said nothing and went to my

car I sat there to figure out what i had just witnessed and the only

thing i can think of is she must have gotten out of the classroom and

when the aid noticed ran to find her. when i got home i called my

boss to let him know i would be in late and i am going to talk and

hopefully not go to jail over telling the teacher and the aid what i

think of them and my baby will be going to a different school or the

teacher and the aid will be replaced.... Is this the right way to go

about this?

[Guest guest]

Personally I wouldn't say anything to the teacher or the aide. I would go

right to the principal... Ask to speak with him/her in the morning or at the

very least ask to make an appointment to speak to them if your told they are

not available at the time...

Let the principal know your concerns and ask if there is anyway that they

can get a more reliable teacher into the classroom, one who maybe doesn't

need to take so much time off. If that is not an option then I would ask

that at the very least they work towards making sure they get a qualified

and knowledgable substitue and try to have that be the same one each time.

Be sure to provide the reasoning behind your concern, also let them know

exactly what you witnessed with your daughter outside on her own and being

quickly ushered back in... and if it was only the aide there that day then

just WHO was with the other children while she was on the hunt for your

daughter??

Explain that due to this situation you feel that you are justified in your

complaint and not just being an over protective parent.

This has got to be against school policy and you can either make it clear

that you'll be filing a formal complaint with the school board about it, or

if your not prepared to take it that far at this point be sure to let them

know that you will not hesistate should something similiar happen again.

Your child is entitled to a free and appropriate public education and with

you knowing that she will receive this in a safe enviroment, they are not

providing this at this time.

I have always felt fortunate that my daughter's teacher is a very healthy

and active person and is rarely sick herself. She does have 3 children that

occassionally get ill and she and her husband share the responsibility of

taking off with them... but it has been only a very few number of times that

she's been out for this. She's actually been out more for parent meetings

and IEP's than anything else. There are also 2 aides in the classroom and

when is out it's almost easier on the children to NOT have a Sub come

in and just let the two aides handle it for the day. It doesn't usually

happen that way but when there is a Sub they have to explain the whole day

to them and take more time in comforting the students who don't handle

change well and are not comfortable with this new person in the classroom.

Also like you mentioned they just don't always know how to deal with special

needs children very well...

One time, this guy was a sub, and he was a bit of an older gentleman and

while he seemed nice enough the aides really had a time with him because he

just didnt' get it... Now not all our students have Autism, it's a VE

(Varying exceptionalities) class and there are students who just need

intensive Speech/Language therapy, students who have a physical handicap,

Autism, Downs Syndrome etc.

He started off the morning trying to teach them the right way to play

dominos (these are 3 and 4 year olds anyway mind you) and then when it was

time to play on the playground he kept complaining to the aides that it

wasn't safe and that 'these' children shouldn't be permitted to play out

there due to it not being safe.... This is a BRAND new school with top of

the line everything, it's as safe as any playground is going to be. And

'these' children have just as much right to play as any other child... But

he was so freaked out that some of the kids who can't walk but can get

around just fine on the bottom, were going to get hurt by playing with

'normal' kids, he just couldn't get over it.

I would definately voice your concerns though, if it's not reported they may

not know about all of it, and sometimes even when they do know, they don't

do much till a parent complains, so just go ahead and do it and see where it

gets you. If they don't make some changes then I'd definately be prepared to

report them to the school board.

Theresa

> OK not so much the school but, Delaney(5)(ASD)started school(public)

> about three months ago the first 2 weeks were great then i noticed

> that her teacher was starting to miss a few days i thought that maybe

> she was just sick so i did not say anything, but for the past 2 in a

> half months she has missed at least 2 days every week. i talked with

> a parent of a student that was in Delaney's class last year and she

> said that the teacher did the same thing all last year but that they

> had an aid that was there everyday so she was not to concerned. well

> there is an aid this year also but she has only been working with

> students with AUTISM since february 2008. So about 2 weeks ago i go

> to pick Delaney up early to go out for the afternoon and there was a

> sub in the room the aid or the teacher were not there, i walked in

> and this lady looked at me all confused and said i am not sure whats

> wrong but not one of the students will talk to me(everyone in this

> class is non-verbal)as if she had no clue that these were special

> needs children. I was infuriated that they would leave my baby with

> someone who had no clue what they were doing. but against my better

> judgement I once again did not say anything.NOW today i show up about

> ten minute early because it was about to rain and i did not wanna

> make her walk in it. as i am pulling up to the school i see Delaney

> all alone out by the play area.I was in so much shock that i just

> paused and watched her i was only about 50 feet away but i was not

> in her sight. I see the aid run up to her and basically drag her

> back to class so i go up to the classroom and the teacher is not

> there only the aid is. I grabbed Delaney said nothing and went to my

> car I sat there to figure out what i had just witnessed and the only

> thing i can think of is she must have gotten out of the classroom and

> when the aid noticed ran to find her. when i got home i called my

> boss to let him know i would be in late and i am going to talk and

> hopefully not go to jail over telling the teacher and the aid what i

> think of them and my baby will be going to a different school or the

> teacher and the aid will be replaced.... Is this the right way to go

> about this?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> OK not so much the school but, Delaney(5)(ASD)started school(public)

> about three months ago the first 2 weeks were great then i noticed

> that her teacher was starting to miss a few days i thought that maybe

> she was just sick so i did not say anything, but for the past 2 in a

> half months she has missed at least 2 days every week. i talked with

> a parent of a student that was in Delaney's class last year and she

> said that the teacher did the same thing all last year but that they

> had an aid that was there everyday so she was not to concerned. well

> there is an aid this year also but she has only been working with

> students with AUTISM since february 2008. So about 2 weeks ago i go

> to pick Delaney up early to go out for the afternoon and there was a

> sub in the room the aid or the teacher were not there, i walked in

> and this lady looked at me all confused and said i am not sure whats

> wrong but not one of the students will talk to me(everyone in this

> class is non-verbal)as if she had no clue that these were special

> needs children. I was infuriated that they would leave my baby with

> someone who had no clue what they were doing. but against my better

> judgement I once again did not say anything.NOW today i show up about

> ten minute early because it was about to rain and i did not wanna

> make her walk in it. as i am pulling up to the school i see Delaney

> all alone out by the play area.I was in so much shock that i just

> paused and watched her i was only about 50 feet away but i was not

> in her sight. I see the aid run up to her and basically drag her

> back to class so i go up to the classroom and the teacher is not

> there only the aid is. I grabbed Delaney said nothing and went to my

> car I sat there to figure out what i had just witnessed and the only

> thing i can think of is she must have gotten out of the classroom and

> when the aid noticed ran to find her. when i got home i called my

> boss to let him know i would be in late and i am going to talk and

> hopefully not go to jail over telling the teacher and the aid what i

> think of them and my baby will be going to a different school or the

> teacher and the aid will be replaced.... Is this the right way to go

> about this?

>

I would definitely let the principal know what happened. Is your

daughter in a regular classroom, or a classroom just for special needs

kids? If this is a class for special needs kids, then they need a

teacher who's always there. Kids with autism can't handle change like

that. At the least they need to find a sub who knows how to work with

this population, and try to always get this person in there when the

teacher is out. I'm actually a sub myself, as well as a mom to a 10

year old with autism. At her school they try to always get the same

sub. If this teacher know she's always going to be out, she should

pre-schedule it and have a sub ready to go. Now, the teacher also HAS

to be in the room, not just the aide. The aides here can take breaks,

but unless the kids are going to pe or something, where another

teacher is teaching, the teacher(or sub)has to always be in the room

with the kids. I'm assuming this is how it is everywhere. I have

also experienced working with a class where a child has snuck out,

luckily we were right there. Hopefully this scared the aide so much

she will make sure it will never happen again. Ok, I've rambled

enough. I hope everything works out for you. I also would follow up

with the superintendent if needed if it doesn't work out with the

principal. I hope this helps.....Lori

[Guest guest]

My daughter got out of the classroom last year and made it a bit down the

hall before she was discovered missing... maybe 20 seconds? LOL And they

immediately set the alarm on the door to chime when it's opened so that

she'd never even be able to get that far again.

They also told me immediately when I picked her up, as well as had a note in

her back pack... Now she'd never have been able to tell me this on her own,

so I have always felt them to be very honest with me about what has taken

place in her day.

She's also gotten over the fence on the playground one time when the person

who was supposed to be shadowing her had to go and tend to a child that fell

and got hurt. Another aide took over 'watching' her, but from a distance and

caught her climbing the fence and when she called out to her to stop,

kept going so by the time she got there she had made it over and she

had to go get her... Again they told me immediately and noted it in her

daily folder.

It was one of my biggest reasons for not wanting my daughter to attend her

zoned school next year, their playground is right on a major 6 land road and

only separated by a 4 foot fence and a sidewalk... Needless to day I ended

up getting my way and she won't go to that school... and will instead stay

where she is, where if she does manage to run off again she is out in the

middle of no where with a LONG way till there is any serious danger and

plenty of time for someone to catch up to her before she gets there.

Theresa

>

> >

> > OK not so much the school but, Delaney(5)(ASD)started school(public)

> > about three months ago the first 2 weeks were great then i noticed

> > that her teacher was starting to miss a few days i thought that maybe

> > she was just sick so i did not say anything, but for the past 2 in a

> > half months she has missed at least 2 days every week. i talked with

> > a parent of a student that was in Delaney's class last year and she

> > said that the teacher did the same thing all last year but that they

> > had an aid that was there everyday so she was not to concerned. well

> > there is an aid this year also but she has only been working with

> > students with AUTISM since february 2008. So about 2 weeks ago i go

> > to pick Delaney up early to go out for the afternoon and there was a

> > sub in the room the aid or the teacher were not there, i walked in

> > and this lady looked at me all confused and said i am not sure whats

> > wrong but not one of the students will talk to me(everyone in this

> > class is non-verbal)as if she had no clue that these were special

> > needs children. I was infuriated that they would leave my baby with

> > someone who had no clue what they were doing. but against my better

> > judgement I once again did not say anything.NOW today i show up about

> > ten minute early because it was about to rain and i did not wanna

> > make her walk in it. as i am pulling up to the school i see Delaney

> > all alone out by the play area.I was in so much shock that i just

> > paused and watched her i was only about 50 feet away but i was not

> > in her sight. I see the aid run up to her and basically drag her

> > back to class so i go up to the classroom and the teacher is not

> > there only the aid is. I grabbed Delaney said nothing and went to my

> > car I sat there to figure out what i had just witnessed and the only

> > thing i can think of is she must have gotten out of the classroom and

> > when the aid noticed ran to find her. when i got home i called my

> > boss to let him know i would be in late and i am going to talk and

> > hopefully not go to jail over telling the teacher and the aid what i

> > think of them and my baby will be going to a different school or the

> > teacher and the aid will be replaced.... Is this the right way to go

> > about this?

> >

>

> I would definitely let the principal know what happened. Is your

> daughter in a regular classroom, or a classroom just for special needs

> kids? If this is a class for special needs kids, then they need a

> teacher who's always there. Kids with autism can't handle change like

> that. At the least they need to find a sub who knows how to work with

> this population, and try to always get this person in there when the

> teacher is out. I'm actually a sub myself, as well as a mom to a 10

> year old with autism. At her school they try to always get the same

> sub. If this teacher know she's always going to be out, she should

> pre-schedule it and have a sub ready to go. Now, the teacher also HAS

> to be in the room, not just the aide. The aides here can take breaks,

> but unless the kids are going to pe or something, where another

> teacher is teaching, the teacher(or sub)has to always be in the room

> with the kids. I'm assuming this is how it is everywhere. I have

> also experienced working with a class where a child has snuck out,

> luckily we were right there. Hopefully this scared the aide so much

> she will make sure it will never happen again. Ok, I've rambled

> enough. I hope everything works out for you. I also would follow up

> with the superintendent if needed if it doesn't work out with the

> principal. I hope this helps.....Lori

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sondra,

I had to laugh at your stories of Missy and the gas... My was

(before this last seizure episode) much the same way! I know that even NT

kids get obsessed with 'farts' when they are little and think it's funny, so

when she was little and my older daughter would hear her and laugh we'd

always say " oh my , you have gas! " So soon she was saying it on her

own when she did, and then she'd say " mama, I had two gas in my hinney! " I

can't even say how many times she's heard one of us have gas and would say

" Oh mama! You have gas?? You have gas in your hiney too?? I have gas in my

hiney too! "

But I'd so much rather hear them say that than that they 'farted' lol

That's great that you were able to take so many advocates to her IEP

meetings and fight for her safety. We had very many of the same concerns

with due to her seizures. The little kids at our school don't go

upstairs for any reason and last years school didn't have stairs, so we

don't worry over those issues. But I definately had my share of concern with

her in the bathroom on her own and playing on the play ground etc. I was

very fortunate to get a teacher that is just totally amazing and awesome and

loves these kids so much, and she was very accomodating in taking all of my

safety concerns into account and writing her IEP to manage these concerns. I

really wish I could pack this teacher up and take her with us everywhere!

I can only hope that all of 's teachers will be so passionate about

their teaching of special needs children and really take the extra steps to

provide the best care for them like our Miss does.

Theresa

> Delaney's mom this too causes of me great upset to know that this if

> of happening to you baby girl. it sounds much like warehousing and

> not educating to me, education of sped ed kids need tob e consistent

> and repetative and this cannot be with inconsistency in their teacher

> and staff. and the safety factor of you little girl wandering out of

> the building and be outside by herself for a time before even being

> noticed she is of missing is of a huge fear and upset as a parent

> because of all the dangers that can happen to a child of autism so

> quickly.

>

> this needsd of to be to have a speicalized call of all meeting head

> peoples including you sped cordinator and such so to me a full team

> meeting should be of done to address of the concerns.

>

> I to ahd of a similar things when my missy began of kindergarden too.

> and for me what I to did was of sended a certified letter to each

> person of the team to where each had signed of he letter when they

> got of it as data for self to assure of legal ways they ALL were to

> ahd of gotten my letter of concerns to my Missy. I to then bringed of

> this up at the meeting that each had signed for the letters so each

> should be of aware of my concerns and that if any things happened to

> my missy that was of neglegency of their taking proper care to her I

> would be of to sue of them in court.

>

> I to had of teachers tell of me they would not assist or help of my

> missy change of her pull ups or diapers , as she still had some

> accidents and so began of school in them. she also had of seizures

> and i to telled them because of the stairs i to needed the teacher to

> hold her hand going down the steps because if she seizured she would

> fall. they refused in prior meetings to do this saying they do not

> hold kindergardeners hands. I to also shared she can never ever be

> left to go to the bathroom or hallway by herself because she lacks

> danger and loves of stair wells and will climb over the rails if not

> watched closely all of these were of safe issues. they also wanted of

> her and her brother to ride of one bus , get off at one school and

> reboard another one and I to say no because of the fear of wanter, to

> get lost or to not cope with the transitions. they wanted of Missyes

> brother mike who was of 2 years older and on spectrum to be to watch

> over missy and he could not even care for hims own safe let alone of

> hers. so anyways I to had of a huge list of safety concerns that I to

> needed addressed. I to ahd the full team including the school

> psychologist , principles, school administrators and had of much

> advocates to be of a voice for me in that meeting. I to be of good to

> put in in words on paper but not so fast or good in vertbal words for

> the meeting so had of much voices for me . i to think I to had of 4-5

> strong local bold advocates with me who can be to voice for me

> because of they also knew of me and my family much so. What happened

> in that meeting all the things suddenly on hte paper were of told to

> the school teachers, staff that they will be enforced and they

> assured of me then that all the safe factors will be of taken as a

> priority of her care then. and it was. My missy when of little was

> of a much cute kid too and so many telled of me that and many really

> come to love of her much so. Especially her K teachers after they got

> past that meeting and did be to learn of all I to shared was of true

> of her.

>

> One funny to share of that year, her sped teacher had been to take of

> my missy to the bathroom and so while missy was on the potty her

> teacher decided to go too. the teacher had of much gas and was of

> passing the gas and so was of my missy . so when they got out to the

> hallway missy loudly boradcasts Mrs. XXXX you be to had gas louder

> than me. We both had of much gas right? the teahcer shared she was of

> so muuch embarrassed as the other kids and teachers heared of my

> missy's words and so Mrs. XXXX just smiled and kept of walking fast.

> the teacher shared of this to me a few days later. I to say yes this

> is of my missy and still to some extent is of still this way.

>

> Another funny with this same teacher was she was of upset to some of

> the older kids to her class and had to let them know they were to

> lose of some priveleges and my missy was internally upset to this so

> she on the computer was of having her play time because she did not

> lose of her but she did post a note to her teacher and forget what

> the words were but the frame she put around the words were of bombs,

> and items of destruction like dynomite and things of this. the

> teacher was of thinking missy was of much angery to her but laughed

> of it because of how it was of done but not to my missy . she showed

> of me that note and I to still have of it in her file... but later I

> to asked of missy and she felt the pictures were of apples and

> birthday cakes, she felt she was of giving her teacher good things

> LOL so that isof how easily our kids can be of misunderstood. but it

> was of funny at the time.

>

> Sondra

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I would first make a letter documenting everything you just said,

trying to take the emotional stuff out of it and email/fax to the

principal's office. That way you have a paper trail. If you didn't

feel like anything is going to get done, I'd then fax/email it to the

entire school board and your state's special ed director, and file an

official complaint if offered by your state. If you don't trust them

any more that's completely understandable, but you need to create a

paper trail showing your daughter has been in an unsafe situation.

That will give you recourse for pulling her out. Say 3 mos down the

road they don't want to give you a different school or your decide to

homeschool, if you inform them (in writing) of your intent to pull her

out because of safety issues (as far as I know, safety is the only one

you can do this for) and not give them a 10 day notice, then you can

come back and sue them for the cost of having to quit work of pay for

a private setting. I'm not saying you should sue or your would

definitely win, but without it being a safety issue and without the

paper trail to prove it, there is definitely no way.

I agree, I'd be so mad I'd be lucky to not go to jail, too! Any chance

you can get a family member or friend to go with you to help you stay

as calm as possible, considering?

HTH,

Debi

-

[Guest guest]

Ya know, if you're a teacher and a kid rats you out, why not have some

fun and do a Jim Carrey, " Whew, I wouldn't go in there if I were you! "

or something like that. We get too uptight about the gas we pass!

I worry at my daughter's school. There is a new retention pond behind

the playground and only a 3ft chain link fence. I just know it's a

matter of time before someone takes their eyes off her for 5 seconds

after a big rain and she decided to go exploring. The pond is from a

developer of private lands adjoining the school and he did agree to

make it a detention pond, where it's supposed to drain in so many hrs

after rain, but while it's under development it has to retain because

of run off.

Debi