Re: Extreme anxiety/Obsessive thoughts?

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'll take a stab at it... It sounds like it might be scrupulosity type OCD -

He's a bad person for cheating, can't let it go, needs to confess to you =

compulsion/ritual. Nothing you say will satisfy, nothing he tells him self with

satisfy, can't let it go, he's stuck with what he did and doesn't feel he can

come back from it. Probably feels he can't trust himself anymore either. No

limit how this one thing can take over and spin out.

Our son gets like this, and it can last a very long time, in fact it will come

up again whenever there is an anniversary date of some particular event/OCD

thing, even after a year of not thinking about it.

I've been told and have witnessed, that the obsessions become more sophisticated

as they get older. Seem to involve relationships, perceptions, self

image/esteem, core issue stuff... So, even when they address the OCD part of it,

it's hard for them to move on, if at the core they feel it's true, and then

can't let go. Or they can't/won't even address the OCD part because they feel

it is true, not " just " a thought/OCD.

We live this kind of stuff all the time. Can be very hidden, and just seem like

something bothering them, but if/when you figure out it's OCD and challenge the

talk, you'll see the anxiety jack up, and/or we get belligerent talk/behavior.

For the confessing part you can try saying something like, " you've told me this

already, I'm not listening anymore " , and remove yourself. If he becomes

anxious, good chance this is a compulsion he is doing. Then talk about how you

are going to work on reducing this, how you will work your side of it.

I would wonder about a boomerang effect from stopping the marijuana too. I know

someone who's son used to manage his anxiety/ocd too. They needed to

hospitalize to stabilize with medication, at some point the marijuana triggered

psychosis - it helps until it doesn't, then big problems.... For some it can

trigger things that are latent, ie mood/anxiety etc. Something to consider.

Hopefully the lexapro will help bring down the anxiety and improve mood. But

until he can meet the thought head on with ERP, it is going to keep dogging him.

Our son would talk of suicide daily to get away from the obsessions. Think it

was his way of expressing how much he was suffering. However, always important

to be diligent on this one, and young people can really nose dive about

relationship stuff and feel it is the end of the world, no perspective. So,

good that he is in counselling and has support and you are on top of it all. If

you ask him directly if he feels he could actually do this, or has a plan, it

might help put your mind at ease.

Hang in there!

Hugs,

Barb

>

> My 20 yr. old has some anxiety but seemed to manage it with sports and

alcohol/marijuanna. Very social and liked to have fun.

> He started to go out with a girl in Jan and really likes her. He said he had

one period where he wasn't sure he wanted to get so involved and kissed a dif.

girl. Decided he still liked the Jan. girl and got more involved. Fast forward

to three weeks ago, he came home and cheated with a girl that " he had messed

around with in HS " . I know, TMI. Since that hook-up, he went into a severe

anxiety reaction/depression. Can't eat, sleep, has constant thought about

cheating on this girl. He has told her and he said she forgave him and still

wants to keep the relationship going. Since he crashed so hard and given our own

history with mental illness, he is now on Lexapro and goes to a counselor. He is

still distraught and can't let it go that he cheated on this girl. He says he is

" going nuts " . Has thoughts of suicide just to get away from the thoughts. Also,

he stopped using marijuanna because it was increasing his anxiety and making his

head spin. He had been using 4 years, daily in the past year. I know, not good.

I had him go to an AODA counselor after grad. from HS but he knew everything and

wouldn't change. He wouldn't talk to us but now, he tells me everything, more

than I would like to know.

> So is this an extreme anxiety reaction, this constant thought thing or more

than that? BTW, haven't met the girlfriend but seems very supportive and

stable, dif. than his usual types.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'll take a stab at it... It sounds like it might be scrupulosity type OCD -

He's a bad person for cheating, can't let it go, needs to confess to you =

compulsion/ritual. Nothing you say will satisfy, nothing he tells him self with

satisfy, can't let it go, he's stuck with what he did and doesn't feel he can

come back from it. Probably feels he can't trust himself anymore either. No

limit how this one thing can take over and spin out.

Our son gets like this, and it can last a very long time, in fact it will come

up again whenever there is an anniversary date of some particular event/OCD

thing, even after a year of not thinking about it.

I've been told and have witnessed, that the obsessions become more sophisticated

as they get older. Seem to involve relationships, perceptions, self

image/esteem, core issue stuff... So, even when they address the OCD part of it,

it's hard for them to move on, if at the core they feel it's true, and then

can't let go. Or they can't/won't even address the OCD part because they feel

it is true, not " just " a thought/OCD.

We live this kind of stuff all the time. Can be very hidden, and just seem like

something bothering them, but if/when you figure out it's OCD and challenge the

talk, you'll see the anxiety jack up, and/or we get belligerent talk/behavior.

For the confessing part you can try saying something like, " you've told me this

already, I'm not listening anymore " , and remove yourself. If he becomes

anxious, good chance this is a compulsion he is doing. Then talk about how you

are going to work on reducing this, how you will work your side of it.

I would wonder about a boomerang effect from stopping the marijuana too. I know

someone who's son used to manage his anxiety/ocd too. They needed to

hospitalize to stabilize with medication, at some point the marijuana triggered

psychosis - it helps until it doesn't, then big problems.... For some it can

trigger things that are latent, ie mood/anxiety etc. Something to consider.

Hopefully the lexapro will help bring down the anxiety and improve mood. But

until he can meet the thought head on with ERP, it is going to keep dogging him.

Our son would talk of suicide daily to get away from the obsessions. Think it

was his way of expressing how much he was suffering. However, always important

to be diligent on this one, and young people can really nose dive about

relationship stuff and feel it is the end of the world, no perspective. So,

good that he is in counselling and has support and you are on top of it all. If

you ask him directly if he feels he could actually do this, or has a plan, it

might help put your mind at ease.

Hang in there!

Hugs,

Barb

>

> My 20 yr. old has some anxiety but seemed to manage it with sports and

alcohol/marijuanna. Very social and liked to have fun.

> He started to go out with a girl in Jan and really likes her. He said he had

one period where he wasn't sure he wanted to get so involved and kissed a dif.

girl. Decided he still liked the Jan. girl and got more involved. Fast forward

to three weeks ago, he came home and cheated with a girl that " he had messed

around with in HS " . I know, TMI. Since that hook-up, he went into a severe

anxiety reaction/depression. Can't eat, sleep, has constant thought about

cheating on this girl. He has told her and he said she forgave him and still

wants to keep the relationship going. Since he crashed so hard and given our own

history with mental illness, he is now on Lexapro and goes to a counselor. He is

still distraught and can't let it go that he cheated on this girl. He says he is

" going nuts " . Has thoughts of suicide just to get away from the thoughts. Also,

he stopped using marijuanna because it was increasing his anxiety and making his

head spin. He had been using 4 years, daily in the past year. I know, not good.

I had him go to an AODA counselor after grad. from HS but he knew everything and

wouldn't change. He wouldn't talk to us but now, he tells me everything, more

than I would like to know.

> So is this an extreme anxiety reaction, this constant thought thing or more

than that? BTW, haven't met the girlfriend but seems very supportive and

stable, dif. than his usual types.

>

[Guest guest]

I think you are onto something here. He has always been very rigid/perfectionist

about his behavior and others. Prob. excelled so much in art b/c he is so

detailed. Did not like being shamed in public. Difficult time separating.

He is on Lexapro now. Don't know if it is working, still very emotional. Picked

him up from his house where all his buddies are and the city where his gf is. He

was crying all the way home, doesn't want to leave his friends. He is leaving to

work at a camp next week and is hesitant about the responsibility of caring for

the children. Very worried about this and him being up for the task. He did the

same job last summer so knows the intensity. He saw the pdoc last week and pdoc

is encouraging him to go there. Thinks it will be good for him to have the

distraction/structure. I still am prepared to go and get him if he can't do his

job, though I didn't tell him this.

I am still worried but trying to be positive and encouraging him to look at the

positives. The good thing is that he talks with us.From my other OCD son, I am

used to asking about the suicidal thoughts. He says he couldn't do that to

someone else. I have tried to talk with him about sitting with the thoughts. I

told him to be aware when he gets that anxious feeling in his stomach b/c that

is usually tied with his thoughts. He needs to calm down the physical stuff b/c

it is so overwhelming for him. My other son is the same way with escalating

emotions. Hoping the Lexapro calms down the anxiety so he can get some type of

awareness of the thoughts.

Yes, this withdrawal from marijuana is playing into this. My therapist said that

is good he did not use another drug after the marij. Thought the marij. was

working for his anxiety but not now. I still am concerned that it is alot to

deal with, trying to get off marij. without some type of support like NA. I have

2 siblings that are recovering Alc/drug users and it took years for them to

recover.

>

> Hi ,

>

> I'll take a stab at it... It sounds like it might be scrupulosity type OCD -

He's a bad person for cheating, can't let it go, needs to confess to you =

compulsion/ritual.