Teen Sexual Behavior and OCD

[Guest guest]

My daughter has had OCD symptoms since age 4. Bad thoughts and obsessions.

She was unofficially diagnosed at age 11 and officially diagnosed at age 15.

Takes Inositol daily. Doesn't have obvious difficulties, except when asked to

clean something even the easy stuff life dishes and sweeping the floor. Her

diagnosis confirmed obsessions and compulsions.

She is now nearing 17. I am wondering about a sexual obsession. Of course,

teens are obsessed with sex so clarifying normal vs not is difficult. I lean

towards the conservative side on teenagers and sexual relationships. I just

don't think the teenage years are the time for it. She has been dating the

same boy for about a year and 1/2 and their relationship is getting more

intimate. She had a very comprehensive sex educ program last spring which is the

same time their relationship became more physical. I am beginning to question

myself on that decision.

Their online chat discussions sound like a transcript from a porn movie. I'm

not sure if they ever talk about anything except sex anymore. They have phone

sex and chat sex and each masturbate to climax. This is a nightly occurrence.

I know I didn't have any conversations even close to these until I was at least

25 (maybe ever). They make out at lunch time at school each day (I have asked

the principals to watch for PDA without mentioning their names, but the school

really doesn't have enough principals to do that). She does not believe in

public displays of affection, but tries to find places to hide so make it ok.

She knows she isn't ready for sex and she has told him that, but their

conversations are all about it and in detail. Plus we all know that ovulating

young woman forget to say no and young men keep going until told to stop. Bad

combination IMO. They are not given private time although they asked for it

(It was hard not to laugh). Unfortunately, his parents are supportive of

anything sexual as long as she doesn't end up pregnant. They will allow the

bedroom door to be closed. At the moment I will not allow her to go over there

even if the parents are home. I have considered meeting the Mom for lunch, but

I think it would accomplish anything. Unfortunately, the young man's lack of

structure and rules makes it difficult for him to understand that we do have

rules.

I hate being so restrictive yet I believe it is absolutely the right thing. I

feel like I can't let them be alone. Last year she had some time after school to

wait before we could pick her up and instead of waiting where she was supposed

to they were going to his car. I have taken away the after school unsupervised

time. He has suggested that sometime during the day they leave her phone

somewhere (we have family locator)and they go somewhere in his car to be alone.

She has not seen a counselor regularly since 5th grade although her counselor

was also her middle school school counselor so was available when needed

throughout middle school.

Is this normal or is this OCD? My concern is OCD making the decision instead of

her. She is adament she wants to wait to have sex until college, but her

desire does not so she is in conflict between what she wants and what she

believes.

I probably would have her seeing a counselor or psychologist if it wasn't for

the cost. Our insurance won't pay for any mental health counseling until after

we hit the $3500 deductible and I just can't do that right now. I still have

medical bills from an injury last November.

Thanks,