Autistic boy left with nanny for 12 years

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Autistic boy left with nanny for 12 years

The New Paper

Tue, Mar 08, 2011

TWELVE years ago, a couple told Madam Angie Ng they needed her help to look

after their son.

They never took him back.

Instead, Madam Ng, who is not a relative, raised the autistic boy on her own.

She was then 54.

Hers is an incredible story of love, sacrifice and compassion.

Madam Ng has requested that The New Paper on Sunday to not identify the child as

she does not want his classmates to mock him.

's biological parents still do not want to have anything to do with him.

They did not call or visit him when he was hospitalised for food poisoning last

year,Madam Ng said.

The 67-year-old caregiver was recently recognised for her dedication in caring

for (not his real name) by the Asian Women's Welfare Association (Awwa)

Centre for Caregivers.

She received the 2011 Model Caregiver Award.

(not his real name) was all skin and bones when she first saw him in 1998.

" I took him in my arms and he neither moved nor cried - he was so weak. He was

dehydrated and his skin was peeling.

So weak

" He felt like a log to me. 'Poor baby,' I thought to myself.My heart went out to

him, " Madam Ng said in Mandarin.

Now they are inseparable.

At her sparsely furnished three-room HDB flat in Tampines, frequently

called out to Madam Ng.

said: " I love mama very much. I don't want her to die. I want to take care

of her when I grow up. "

When was barely a month old, his grandmother had pleaded with Madam Ng to

babysit him.

Then, Madam Ng, a single-mother with a 21-year-old daughter, was working as a

cook at a food stall at Tampines Mall, earning $35 a day.

Madam Ng said: " I used to babysit four children before I went to work. 's

grandmother lives in the next block and had heard of me as a babysitter.

" She offered me $500 a month to babysit her grandson full-time, and asked me to

quit my job. I wasn't keen on doing so.

" But she kept pleading with me, saying that she had no permanent roof over her

head to care for as she was living with several children. "

She added: " 's parents were not fond of him because he was born an unhealthy

baby. "

Madam Ng agreed and 's grandmother paid her $500 for the first month.

The money was to cover all of 's expenses, including milk powder.

On the second month, the amount was reduced to $450.

It was later dropped to $300 then $70. Soon, neither 's grandmother nor his

parents paid her.

Madam Ng said: " Initially the parents would take him home on Saturday nights and

send him back to me on Sundays.

" When was three, his parents found out that he is autistic and had wanted

to give him up for adoption. But nobody wanted him because of his condition.

" They stopped taking home after 's mum had another daughter and a son. "

Madam Ng said she knows where 's parents live but cited confidential reasons

for not visiting them.

She said she tried to contact them initially, but she gave up.

But she did not give up on . She just loved him.

Treating like her own son, Madam Ng would bake him a cake on his birthday

every year.

His parents did not take him home on these special days.

Mr Yong Chong Ye, 25, whom Madam Ng looked after since he was a baby before she

took in , recalled how Madam Ng often broke down and cried whenever she

spoke about .

Mr Yong, an IT applications consultant said: " She's not well-to-do and struggles

to provide for the boy. She has a big heart and she is like a second mother to

me. "

At that time, Madam Ng's daughter had just started working " in an office " and

was contributing about $200 to $300 to the household expenses monthly.

Not enough But it was not enough. So Madam Ng took on part-time work like sewing

clothes late into the night for her neighbours to earn some extra money.

On good months, she could make slightly over $100. During bad times, she had to

pawn her jewellery to make ends meet.

She said: " Life was tough. There were days when I was left with only $2 to $3. I

would buy a packet of rice for and eat his leftovers.

" There were times when I didn't even have money to take to the doctor when

he was sick and had to borrow from the owners of the hardware shop or the

hairdressing salon downstairs. "

She added: " It wasn't easy to care for . Even now, he needs my attention all

the time.

" I had thought of baby-sitting more children since I couldn't go out to work,

but when the parents of these kids heard about 's illness, they changed

their minds about sending their children to me. "

She said they feared that given his condition, Madam Ng would pay more attention

to than to their children.

Madam Ng recalled how she would stand by 's crib and cry after putting him

to bed every night.

" I was already so old and I was worried that no one would care for him if I met

with any mishap then, " she said.

But Madam Ng was determined to bring out the best in him.

With in tow, Madam Ng would seek out help from grassroots leaders. She

wanted to be his foster mum.

She was later referred to the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and

Sports (MCYS)and managed to get herself registered as 's foster parent.

Children who are abandoned, neglected or ill-treated by their parents or

guardians, can be registered under MCYS' ing Scheme.

As 's foster parent, Madam Ng was able to enroll him in the Movement for the

Intellectually Disabled of Singapore (Minds).

When was seven, he took an intelligence quotient (IQ) test and was found to

be suitable for an education at Pathlight School.

Madam Ng was overjoyed. She said: " My only wish for is for him to complete

his secondary education at Pathlight and move on to the Institute of Technical

Education, so he can learn some skills to take care of himself in the future.

" Many people told me that I am lucky to have a son. I am 67 and he is only 13. I

don't expect him to take care of me in the future. I justhope he can take care

of himself. "

Her story was most compelling

MADAM Angie Ng was selected out of 54 individuals nominated for the Asian

Women's Welfare Association (AWWA)Centre for Caregivers' 2011 Model Caregiver

Award.

She was given a cash reward of $1,500.

The centre's director, Mr Manmohan Singh, 51, told The New Paper on Sunday that

the judging panel, which included professionals from the health and social

sectors, found Madam Ng's story to be the most compelling, especially when they

learnt of her resilience and resourcefulness in providing a nurturing

environment for an abandoned autistic child and treating him like her own.

Mr Singh said: " She didn't give uponthe boy as his parents had done. "

The Model Caregiver Award was launched in 2007, with the aim of recognising

caregivers' contribution and dedication to those they provide care for, and to

showcase their stories as an inspiration to other caregivers and the larger

community.

The caregivers were nominated by 25 voluntary welfare organisations and health

agencies.

This article was first published in The New Paper.