RE: Re: Social phobia with peers - Marcia

[Guest guest]

Marcia,

That is so awesome your son is doing so well!! It gives me so much hope (my

son is doing really well, too, but we still have a lot of work to do).

What were the main things that helped your son the most?

I'm getting a little nervous, because he isn't showing signs of autism

anymore, but he still needs so much to get him caught up with his peers. Did

you ever have to deal with this, and what did you do about it? I'm concerned

about him losing services from the RC and SD.

Thanks,

Kristy

Re: Social phobia with peers

,

I started doing these social things when he was supposed to start

interaction with peers. About four or five. Back then we only had friends

maybe once a week. I know it takes tremendous energy to do this, but what

choice do we have? We are all they have. No one is going to do this for you.

If I knew back then, he would eventually get better I would have had the

energy to do more. The hardest part is getting up everyday and continuing

when you think they will always be autistic and nothing can help. For me, I

did things so I wouldn't have guilt later and so I could say I did all I

could for my kid. Back then I didn't have a clue he really would get better

and recover. It was a long slow process with three steps forward and ten

steps back. But it worked and now I have a kid with a 4.12 GPA, who drives

and aced his ACT and SAT's.

I had no idea of all he was capable of when he was little extremely weird,

in the third percentile for speech,threw tantrums, bit his sister and

screamed whenever I introduced something new. However that hard work paid

off. My kid won't be in an institution like the psychiatrists told me. The

only institution he may be going to might be Stanford. That is where he

wants to go to college, although I warned him that hardly anyone gets

accepted there. We are just so proud of him and wherever he goes is more

than I ever expected.

Marcia

Posted by: " meljackmom " meljackmom@... meljackmom

Sat Jul 8, 2006 6:01 pm (PST)

Marcia

These are great ideas. You have a lot of enthusiasm and energy. At

what age/ages did you do this, and for how long?

>

> Donna,

> The only way to get our kids over the fears is to have them do

what scares them. Unfortunately we gently have to force them to

have social interaction. The more they do it the less afraid they

become. Pick social situations where they will be successful like

playing Computer games or Nintendo. Going to the movies or swimming

with another kid is also good because they don't have to converse

much. I used to give my kid unlimited computer or things that he

liked when he did them with a friend. And I just made it a rule

that he had to have a friend over twice a week. He could pick who

and when. If he didn't pick, I picked for him. I would make the

time short so he would be successful and leave wanting more. Also

we started with one kid at a time and I would facilitate the play so

the other kid had fun back when my kid wasn't too fun to play with.

Lots of snacks and fun activities. My house was the Kool-Aid house.

All the kids wanted to come play; not because my son was so social

(far from the case) but because there was great stuff to eat and

do. They also got a lot of attention from me.

> Marcia