What Paddington tells us about German v British manners

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BBC News, Berlin

Paddington stories reveal a lot about this cultural difference

Are Germans ruder than the British? Are Britons more dishonest than Germans?

Fortunately, we don't have to rely on blind prejudice for answers. Serious

academic research has been done on both sides of the North Sea.

Continue reading the main story

"

Start Quote

'Hallo Mrs Bird,' said Judy. 'How's the rheumatism?' "

End Quote

This doesn't appear in German editions of A Bear called Paddington

There are Britons in Berlin who get taken aback by the directness of Germans.

And there are Germans who get really annoyed when Britons (and Americans), in an

effort to appear friendly, say things they don't really mean. Some Germans call

this " lying " .

So, what do the experts say on the matter?

Professor ne House, of the University of Hamburg, has studied groups of

people interacting in controlled situations, watching with academic rigour how

they behave as human guinea-pigs.

She found (or verified) that Germans really don't do small talk, those little

phrases so familiar to the British about the weather or a person's general

well-being, but which she describes as " empty verbiage " .

There is no word in German for " small talk " In academic language, this is

" phatic " conversation - it's not meant to convey hard information but to perform

some social function, such as making people feel good.

The German language doesn't even have an expression for " small talk " , she says.

It is so alien that in the German translation of A Bear called Paddington -

Paddington unser kleiner Baer - it was omitted.

So this exchange of small talk occurs in the English original: " 'Hallo Mrs

Bird,' said Judy. 'It's nice to see you again. How's the rheumatism?' 'Worse

than it's ever been' began Mrs. Bird. "

In the German edition, this passage is simply cut.

Might a German talk about the weather, then?

But small talk is a staple of social interaction in the UK " In a lift or a

doctor's waiting room, talk about the weather in German? I don't think so, " she

says.

So does that mean the British are more polite? No, just different.

For their part, the British have what House calls the " etiquette of simulation " .

The British feign an interest in someone. They pretend to want to meet again

when they don't really. They simulate concern.

Saying things like " It's nice to meet you " are rarely meant the way they are

said, she says. " It's just words. It's simulating interest in the other person. "

From a German perspective, this is uncomfortably close to deceit.

" Some people say that the British and Americans lie when they say things like

that. It's not a lie. It's lubricating social life. It's always nice to say

things like that even if you don't mean them, " says House.

Blunt or direct?

For Britons it's German directness that most often gives rise to bafflement or

even fury. House, who married a Scouser - a native of Liverpool - gives an

example from her own experience.

Continue reading the main story

"

Start Quote

There seem to be one or two problems here "

End Quote

How a Briton might raise a serious concern

She would tell her husband to bring something from another part of the house -

without the British lardings of " would you mind...? " or " could you do me a

favour...? "

He would hear this as an abrupt - and rude - command.

This gap between German directness and British indirectness is the source of

much miscommunication, says Professor Bousfield, the head of linguistics

at the University of Central Lancashire, and one of the editors of the Journal

of Politeness Research.

There are many documented cases where the British understate a very serious

problem with phrases like " there seem to be one or two problems here " or " there

seems to be a little bit of an issue with this " , he says.

British understatement might note that the Grim Reaper can rather spoil the mood

A British listener knows there is a gap between what is said and what is meant -

and this can be a source of humour, as when the Grim Reaper's arrival at a

dinner party in Monty Python's Meaning of Life " casts rather a gloom " over the

evening.

Sometimes it's endearing, or at least the British think it is, as when this

announcement was made by British Airways pilot Moody in 1982, after flying

through a cloud of volcanic ash over Indonesia:

" Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem.

All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going

again. I trust you are not in too much distress. "

But it can also be confusing if you're not used to it.

When BMW bought the British car manufacturer, Rover, it took a while for the

seriousness of some of the problems at Rover to sink in. All too often, British

managers spoke in euphemisms that their German counterparts took at face value.

Beach towels at dawn

Both professors reject the idea that one nation's manners are better than the

other's. Each has its own rules of communication, or patterns of behaviour, and

neither can be blamed, they say, when clashes occur.

Reserved your sun-lounger yet? What about those sun-loungers - the seats by the

pool, which German holidaymakers allegedly grab at the crack of dawn?

" I think what you've got there is a clash of prototypical German efficiency with

the prototypical British sense of fair play, " says Bousfield.

House reckons the British do get the sun-loungers in the end, by one means or

another.

" The British want the sun-lounger, but they do it differently, " she says.

" Are the British devious? Yes, but why should you directly go for something if

it doesn't work? Devious is not a bad thing. "

[Guest guest]

My family is mostly German. We do speak more directly than most people. It saves

time.

Administrator

Found this interesting.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13545386

[Guest guest]

My family is French and English; my dad and I spke quite directly, my mom was much more vague and roundabout;My husband is English/Canadian and he ia also less direct than I am.Being direct DOES save time ( & effort for some one such as I, who am not 'chatty' in person.0 Apparently there are those who will say 'no' to an invitation as a form of 'politeness' expecting the person inviting them will ask again or say 'are you sure' etc.and then they would say 'yes'- when some one says 'no thanks' to them, they will ask; 'are you sure' or something similair.That particular social 'game' is incredibly annoying to me, I believe in saying 'yes', 'no', or "can I get back to you on that?" Surprisingly I don't

mind saying 'no thank you' to an offer of some sort, so I suspect soem of my mom's politreness 'took.'rl 'My cat Rusty is a servant of the Living God....'adapted from a poem by SmartFrom: environmental1st2003 <no_reply >To: FAMSecretSociety Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 9:54:18 AMSubject: Re: What Paddington tells us about German v British manners

My family is mostly German. We do speak more directly than most people. It saves time.

Administrator

Found this interesting.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13545386