Guest guest Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 , Try to be easy on yourself we have all done something that we have regretted a time or two. You son will probably not think of it again except for you eating from the trash. LOL I am come to realize that the occasional mistake in judgment is not something that a child is going to hold against a loving parent. As for diet infractions....my daughter was given 1 small cupcake at school with no icing and she became a wild child. I thought that I would lose my mind and then it hit me that she was entering into " die off " from yeast. It has not been an easy week but I can say that we have survived the first week of die off. My beautiful little girl has pox like sores where the toxins are coming out and I was worried about her eating 1 mini cupcake. In the big scheme of things it is not a big deal but at the moment it is the end of the world. LOL So for those of you who have been there and done that how long does die off from yeast last? Sheri <thecolemans4@...> wrote: My son had had powdered donuts at school once and went crazy over them, and has a hard time with the fact that he doesn't get to have the kinds of treats other kids get. But one day after he had been a very patient little angel on a long hard day of errands, when he saw some powdered donuts and asked sweetly for them, I caved and got some. He was allowed 3 that day, and a few days later (today), another 3. His brother had 3, and I had 2. I had packed them as a potential reward since I had 2 doctors appts and 2 other errands - not a fun day for 2 bored kids. But again, he had been as good as can be. This is a very rare treat, and he knew it was special and that it wouldn't happen often (but it helps him to cope w/all the times he can't get treats just knowing once in a while he can). Anyway, we get home, and he disappeared upstairs a moment, and came back handing me a donut. He had gotten into the cabinet and gotten some out w/out permission, and I just about freaked. The idea of him sneaking out food and pigging out on a no-no seems like something that must be stopped and stopped right then. I stormed upstairs, threw the rest of the donuts in the garbage, and was almost yelling when I told him to never get anything out of the cabinets without my permission. I was furious. Then I demanded to know how many he had eaten, and he said (as he started crying) " Mommy, I didn't eat any! I just wanted you to have three like we did. " My heart just broke. His expression was so hurt. I just showed him how sorry and shocked I was, how sweet I thought it was, admitted to what I had assumed (and how wrong since he was trying to be so thoughtful), and told him how sorry I was-how I was scared because too many sweets can make him sick, but that he was such a good boy and really knew how to wait for those special treats. Then I pulled one out of the garbage and ate it for him, and he thought that was pretty hysterical.lol. Relieved the stress of the moment. But I feel like such a cod now! I can't get that exHi all- You ever do something in a mini-tantrum and then find out how wrong you were... then just feel like the meanest mom? And feel driven to tell on yourself too?pression out of my mind. (Now I'm gonna take them to the pool and try to assuage my guilt by giving them a wonderful time.) Boy does fear trigger an over-reaction. Oh well... __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 , you have lived with this disease your whole life. You only want what is best for your child. Your son just knowing you can admit you made a mistake is gold. He will forgive you long before you will forgive yourself! Its OK to freak out and say you're sorry. - -- In , <thecolemans4@...> wrote: > > Hi all- > You ever do something in a mini-tantrum and then find > out how wrong you were... then just feel like the > meanest mom? And feel driven to tell on yourself too? > > My son had had powdered donuts at school once and went > crazy over them, and has a hard time with the fact > that he doesn't get to have the kinds of treats other > kids get. But one day after he had been a very > patient little angel on a long hard day of errands, > when he saw some powdered donuts and asked sweetly for > them, I caved and got some. He was allowed 3 that > day, and a few days later (today), another 3. His > brother had 3, and I had 2. I had packed them as a > potential reward since I had 2 doctors appts and 2 > other errands - not a fun day for 2 bored kids. But > again, he had been as good as can be. This is a very > rare treat, and he knew it was special and that it > wouldn't happen often (but it helps him to cope w/all > the times he can't get treats just knowing once in a > while he can). > > Anyway, we get home, and he disappeared upstairs a > moment, and came back handing me a donut. He had > gotten into the cabinet and gotten some out w/out > permission, and I just about freaked. The idea of him > sneaking out food and pigging out on a no-no seems > like something that must be stopped and stopped right > then. I stormed upstairs, threw the rest of the > donuts in the garbage, and was almost yelling when I > told him to never get anything out of the cabinets > without my permission. I was furious. Then I > demanded to know how many he had eaten, and he said > (as he started crying) " Mommy, I didn't eat any! I > just wanted you to have three like we did. " > > My heart just broke. His expression was so hurt. I > just showed him how sorry and shocked I was, how sweet > I thought it was, admitted to what I had assumed (and > how wrong since he was trying to be so thoughtful), > and told him how sorry I was-how I was scared because > too many sweets can make him sick, but that he was > such a good boy and really knew how to wait for those > special treats. Then I pulled one out of the garbage > and ate it for him, and he thought that was pretty > hysterical.lol. Relieved the stress of the moment. > > But I feel like such a cod now! I can't get that > expression out of my mind. (Now I'm gonna take > them to the pool and try to assuage my guilt by giving > them a wonderful time.) Boy does fear trigger an > over-reaction. > > Oh well... > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 Don't be too hard on yourself, . Ours kids learn that we are not perfect, and that we make mistakes. It is very impt. when we do something like this, to apologize--just like they need to apologize to us when they hurt our feelings. And this is what you did. Keeping humor throughout this whole process really helps a lot, too. You are a very good and loving mother, who also has to deal with health issues of her own and those of her children. Not a very easy task. You do a great job, and don't forget it. Don't beat yourself up for one mistake. You will learn from it, too! That is what is so impt. about mistakes, we learn from them, and we go on. Thank you for sharing your experience. We all learn from each others' experiences on line, also. Barb --- <thecolemans4@...> wrote: > Hi all- > You ever do something in a mini-tantrum and then > find > out how wrong you were... then just feel like the > meanest mom? And feel driven to tell on yourself > too? > > My son had had powdered donuts at school once and > went > crazy over them, and has a hard time with the fact > that he doesn't get to have the kinds of treats > other > kids get. But one day after he had been a very > patient little angel on a long hard day of errands, > when he saw some powdered donuts and asked sweetly > for > them, I caved and got some. He was allowed 3 that > day, and a few days later (today), another 3. His > brother had 3, and I had 2. I had packed them as a > potential reward since I had 2 doctors appts and 2 > other errands - not a fun day for 2 bored kids. But > again, he had been as good as can be. This is a > very > rare treat, and he knew it was special and that it > wouldn't happen often (but it helps him to cope > w/all > the times he can't get treats just knowing once in a > while he can). > > Anyway, we get home, and he disappeared upstairs a > moment, and came back handing me a donut. He had > gotten into the cabinet and gotten some out w/out > permission, and I just about freaked. The idea of > him > sneaking out food and pigging out on a no-no seems > like something that must be stopped and stopped > right > then. I stormed upstairs, threw the rest of the > donuts in the garbage, and was almost yelling when I > told him to never get anything out of the cabinets > without my permission. I was furious. Then I > demanded to know how many he had eaten, and he said > (as he started crying) " Mommy, I didn't eat any! I > just wanted you to have three like we did. " > > My heart just broke. His expression was so hurt. I > just showed him how sorry and shocked I was, how > sweet > I thought it was, admitted to what I had assumed > (and > how wrong since he was trying to be so thoughtful), > and told him how sorry I was-how I was scared > because > too many sweets can make him sick, but that he was > such a good boy and really knew how to wait for > those > special treats. Then I pulled one out of the garbage > and ate it for him, and he thought that was pretty > hysterical.lol. Relieved the stress of the moment. > > But I feel like such a cod now! I can't get that > expression out of my mind. (Now I'm gonna take > them to the pool and try to assuage my guilt by > giving > them a wonderful time.) Boy does fear trigger an > over-reaction. > > Oh well... > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 Hey Barb - Thanks.... I've found it very helpful if I'm feeling really low about something, to share it or speak it out, that just admitting it to someone somehow brings a bit of relief. I felt much better after sharing it w/the list, as you guys are the friends that would understand. We've had a great rest of the day, and he certainly seems to have accepted my apology and moved on. He knew I realized it - his emotional understanding at age 6 almost 7 is just so good - I don't always see it in typical kids. One benefit, I guess, of some of the struggles we all go thru. He is already so ahead of me in some ways from where I was as a kid - I could never have expressed what my intention had been to my mom had that happened. So even though I felt such sorrow, it was a moment that will stick in my head w/a memory of his expressiveness and wonderful intentions, and I also know that he could tell just how sincerely sorry I was and that I truly recognized - albeit a little late lol - his effort and thoughtfullness. So in the end, it was ok. But it sure did hurt! Thanks for being there to listen to my sorrows too. I do feel much better now. --- Barb Katsaros <barbkatsaros@...> wrote: > Don't be too hard on yourself, . Ours kids > learn that we are not perfect, and that we make > mistakes. It is very impt. when we do something > like > this, to apologize--just like they need to apologize > to us when they hurt our feelings. And this is what > you did. Keeping humor throughout this whole > process > really helps a lot, too. > Don't > beat yourself up for one mistake. You will learn > from > it, too! That is what is so impt. about mistakes, > we > learn from them, and we go on. Thank you for sharing > your experience. We all learn from each others' > experiences on line, also. Barb > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 , It occurred to me as I was reading your post that if you had not found treatment for your son, he might never have had the thought that his mom deserved a doughnut. That would have been a real tragedy. I think maybe you deserve a whole truck of doughnuts. Caroline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 or perhaps you yell at your child (at the end of a long day of work) after he's pulled down the ceiling of your car (after a long day of school) and can't/doesn't have the ability to verbalize his frustrations? You replay that image in your head over and over, trying to figure out how you could have handled the situation differently ? We strive to be the best parents we can be - learn from mistakes made. Kids and cats are pretty pliable ... doris maryland > > Hi all- > You ever do something in a mini-tantrum and then find > out how wrong you were... then just feel like the > meanest mom? And feel driven to tell on yourself too? > > My son had had powdered donuts at school once and went > crazy over them, and has a hard time with the fact > that he doesn't get to have the kinds of treats other > kids get. But one day after he had been a very > patient little angel on a long hard day of errands, > when he saw some powdered donuts and asked sweetly for > them, I caved and got some. He was allowed 3 that > day, and a few days later (today), another 3. His > brother had 3, and I had 2. I had packed them as a > potential reward since I had 2 doctors appts and 2 > other errands - not a fun day for 2 bored kids. But > again, he had been as good as can be. This is a very > rare treat, and he knew it was special and that it > wouldn't happen often (but it helps him to cope w/all > the times he can't get treats just knowing once in a > while he can). > > Anyway, we get home, and he disappeared upstairs a > moment, and came back handing me a donut. He had > gotten into the cabinet and gotten some out w/out > permission, and I just about freaked. The idea of him > sneaking out food and pigging out on a no-no seems > like something that must be stopped and stopped right > then. I stormed upstairs, threw the rest of the > donuts in the garbage, and was almost yelling when I > told him to never get anything out of the cabinets > without my permission. I was furious. Then I > demanded to know how many he had eaten, and he said > (as he started crying) " Mommy, I didn't eat any! I > just wanted you to have three like we did. " > > My heart just broke. His expression was so hurt. I > just showed him how sorry and shocked I was, how sweet > I thought it was, admitted to what I had assumed (and > how wrong since he was trying to be so thoughtful), > and told him how sorry I was-how I was scared because > too many sweets can make him sick, but that he was > such a good boy and really knew how to wait for those > special treats. Then I pulled one out of the garbage > and ate it for him, and he thought that was pretty > hysterical.lol. Relieved the stress of the moment. > > But I feel like such a cod now! I can't get that > expression out of my mind. (Now I'm gonna take > them to the pool and try to assuage my guilt by giving > them a wonderful time.) Boy does fear trigger an > over-reaction. > > Oh well... > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 , HUGS!! We are *only* human, 'ya know? I'm glad you can share with us. Kristy Purge... Hi all- You ever do something in a mini-tantrum and then find out how wrong you were... then just feel like the meanest mom? And feel driven to tell on yourself too? My son had had powdered donuts at school once and went crazy over them, and has a hard time with the fact that he doesn't get to have the kinds of treats other kids get. But one day after he had been a very patient little angel on a long hard day of errands, when he saw some powdered donuts and asked sweetly for them, I caved and got some. He was allowed 3 that day, and a few days later (today), another 3. His brother had 3, and I had 2. I had packed them as a potential reward since I had 2 doctors appts and 2 other errands - not a fun day for 2 bored kids. But again, he had been as good as can be. This is a very rare treat, and he knew it was special and that it wouldn't happen often (but it helps him to cope w/all the times he can't get treats just knowing once in a while he can). Anyway, we get home, and he disappeared upstairs a moment, and came back handing me a donut. He had gotten into the cabinet and gotten some out w/out permission, and I just about freaked. The idea of him sneaking out food and pigging out on a no-no seems like something that must be stopped and stopped right then. I stormed upstairs, threw the rest of the donuts in the garbage, and was almost yelling when I told him to never get anything out of the cabinets without my permission. I was furious. Then I demanded to know how many he had eaten, and he said (as he started crying) " Mommy, I didn't eat any! I just wanted you to have three like we did. " My heart just broke. His expression was so hurt. I just showed him how sorry and shocked I was, how sweet I thought it was, admitted to what I had assumed (and how wrong since he was trying to be so thoughtful), and told him how sorry I was-how I was scared because too many sweets can make him sick, but that he was such a good boy and really knew how to wait for those special treats. Then I pulled one out of the garbage and ate it for him, and he thought that was pretty hysterical.lol. Relieved the stress of the moment. But I feel like such a cod now! I can't get that expression out of my mind. (Now I'm gonna take them to the pool and try to assuage my guilt by giving them a wonderful time.) Boy does fear trigger an over-reaction. Oh well... __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 It was so wonderful last night to put my son to bed, as he gazed at me w/the brightest smiles, made jokes, and laughed, then gave me such an earnest hug, and even gave me a goodnight kiss on the lips instead of the usual nose-kiss. The kid can't be mad at me w/ that kind of expression on his face, and the way he wanted to please me (yet again!lol) by doing so, then giving me such a sweet smile like he was saying " I did that 'cause I know you like it, and I feel so smugly satisfied to have pleased you " . The sun rises and falls in his eyes, that beautiful child! Thanks, my fellow support group! And as one said, if it weren't for , Dr G, and all the people who have helped educate me and support me for the last few years, I seriously doubt we would be at this place, where I feel so much optimism, and the underlying 'aspie' things I see don't freak me out and feel like his future is condemned. No. Far from it! We still keep progressing a thousand fold even after being off the protocol for over a year (that is, when I straighten up if I drift off the diet a bit and realize it was a mistake lol). It is my greatest wish that all parents get to experience this, and I cannot celebrate the joy without remembering every moment that so many parents are not yet at this point and have not had this joy yet. OMG my prayers are for these kids and their parents. Love you guys! --- Kristy Nardini <krnardini@...> wrote: > , > > HUGS!! We are *only* human, 'ya know? I'm glad you > can share with us. > > Kristy > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 , Thank you! I'm feeling so hopeful and, well, elated these days for my son and his progress with the protocol, too. We started last October and have made a lot of progress. My son is starting to converse with me and he is so engaging and interactive, and just downright joyful and adorable. He's always been a cutie, but now he is really, really acknowledging that we exist, and insisting that we engage with him. Yay!! Hopefully, talking as well as his twin sis, making and keeping friends is next. Kristy RE: Purge... It was so wonderful last night to put my son to bed, as he gazed at me w/the brightest smiles, made jokes, and laughed, then gave me such an earnest hug, and even gave me a goodnight kiss on the lips instead of the usual nose-kiss. The kid can't be mad at me w/ that kind of expression on his face, and the way he wanted to please me (yet again!lol) by doing so, then giving me such a sweet smile like he was saying " I did that 'cause I know you like it, and I feel so smugly satisfied to have pleased you " . The sun rises and falls in his eyes, that beautiful child! Thanks, my fellow support group! And as one said, if it weren't for , Dr G, and all the people who have helped educate me and support me for the last few years, I seriously doubt we would be at this place, where I feel so much optimism, and the underlying 'aspie' things I see don't freak me out and feel like his future is condemned. No. Far from it! We still keep progressing a thousand fold even after being off the protocol for over a year (that is, when I straighten up if I drift off the diet a bit and realize it was a mistake lol). It is my greatest wish that all parents get to experience this, and I cannot celebrate the joy without remembering every moment that so many parents are not yet at this point and have not had this joy yet. OMG my prayers are for these kids and their parents. Love you guys! --- Kristy Nardini <krnardini@...> wrote: > , > > HUGS!! We are *only* human, 'ya know? I'm glad you > can share with us. > > Kristy > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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