Purge...

[Guest guest]

Hi all-

You ever do something in a mini-tantrum and then find

out how wrong you were... then just feel like the

meanest mom? And feel driven to tell on yourself too?

My son had had powdered donuts at school once and went

crazy over them, and has a hard time with the fact

that he doesn't get to have the kinds of treats other

kids get. But one day after he had been a very

patient little angel on a long hard day of errands,

when he saw some powdered donuts and asked sweetly for

them, I caved and got some. He was allowed 3 that

day, and a few days later (today), another 3. His

brother had 3, and I had 2. I had packed them as a

potential reward since I had 2 doctors appts and 2

other errands - not a fun day for 2 bored kids. But

again, he had been as good as can be. This is a very

rare treat, and he knew it was special and that it

wouldn't happen often (but it helps him to cope w/all

the times he can't get treats just knowing once in a

while he can).

Anyway, we get home, and he disappeared upstairs a

moment, and came back handing me a donut. He had

gotten into the cabinet and gotten some out w/out

permission, and I just about freaked. The idea of him

sneaking out food and pigging out on a no-no seems

like something that must be stopped and stopped right

then. I stormed upstairs, threw the rest of the

donuts in the garbage, and was almost yelling when I

told him to never get anything out of the cabinets

without my permission. I was furious. Then I

demanded to know how many he had eaten, and he said

(as he started crying) " Mommy, I didn't eat any! I

just wanted you to have three like we did. "

My heart just broke. His expression was so hurt. I

just showed him how sorry and shocked I was, how sweet

I thought it was, admitted to what I had assumed (and

how wrong since he was trying to be so thoughtful),

and told him how sorry I was-how I was scared because

too many sweets can make him sick, but that he was

such a good boy and really knew how to wait for those

special treats. Then I pulled one out of the garbage

and ate it for him, and he thought that was pretty

hysterical.lol. Relieved the stress of the moment.

But I feel like such a cod now! I can't get that

expression out of my mind. (Now I'm gonna take

them to the pool and try to assuage my guilt by giving

them a wonderful time.) Boy does fear trigger an

over-reaction.

Oh well...

__________________________________________________