Re: Help

[Guest guest]

I would be willing to talk to you on email...Why the phone?

[Guest guest]

Is there someone who would be willing to talk to me on the phone. I'll do the

calling so I incur the long distance charges

Marsha

[Guest guest]

Just wanted to say hello and hope all are well.

Marsha:

You can call me any time if you like. E me privately I will give

you my phone number.

> Is there someone who would be willing to talk to me on the phone.

I'll do the calling so I incur the long distance charges

>

> Marsha

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I may be too late with this, but -

If you think that talking to me would be of any

help, I am generally available. E-mail me

back-channel / off-list & we can trade #s.

I have also found that much of the time it is far

easier for me to talk & listen than to type &

read. I can't type & read while lying down in

the dark.

Aubergine, in Bakersfield CA, on Pacific Daylight

Time

AOL IM: ShadoCrone

MSN MS: Shadow_Crone

YM: shadowcrone

ICQ#: 11443880

Wildly Insightful & Talented Crone with a Harley

-----Original Message-----

Is there someone who would be willing to talk to

me on the phone. I'll do the calling so I incur

the long distance charges

Marsha

[Guest guest]

Fingeroot wrote:

>

> I really need help right now. I'm so freaked out I'm

> shaking!

Hi ,

Its time to take deep breaths and do relaxation stuff. You wrote:

> I just received a copy of a complaint my nada filed

> against my therapist blaiming him for my

> " deteriorating mental health " and claiming I have BPD.

I'm wondering what your therapist's response is to this. Have you talked

with him? Your nada attended that two-hour session in his office with

you a couple of months back. Also, your previous therapist had advised

that you move and not leave a forwarding address. If you have this in

writing it may be very useful in the future.

> She quotes a BPD expert she has been consulting with

> in Atlanta and uses every emotion and illness I have

> ever had in my life as evidence that I suffer from all

> of the criteria.

Not all therapists are experts or are qualified to treat either BPs or

the family members of BPs. The questions one can ask a therapist to help

determine their competency BP-wise are in SWOE on pages 238-9. Some BPs

do stuff like your nada is doing. We've had KOs lurking on this list in

the past who've been repeatedly sued by their BP parent and others were

too afraid to post to the list for fear their nada/fada would use what

they posted against them.

> She also says she is filing civil action, but doesn't

> say specifically what that is.

When a KO starts setting boundaries, it ALWAYS gets worse before it gets

better. Its time to get very serious about objectively documenting the

stuff that she's done -- for example, when she grabbed you and struck

you in the yard in front of your son around Xmas time. You posted then

that the neighbors might have seen it. The idea with documenting is to

have the neighbors validate, in writing, that they observed this to

happen -- date, time, and just the facts. Also, a KO should call 911

when stuff like that happens and have the officer write it up. You may

need that evidence later in court (or to prevent this from going to

court). Its a power play between you and your nada. Not that she at this

point in time has a leg to stand on. It sounds more like she's yanking

on your chain because you wrote " She also says she is filing civil

action ... " . Nadas/fadas have embeded their FOG (Fear, Obligation, and

Guilt) 'hooks' in us from our earliest days and, because they've been

successful in getting their way by doing stuff in the past, they're

confident they can predict how their KO will respond. Nadas/fadas need

to feel that they have control over us and they yank on their KO's

chains willy-nilly as a power thing.

> I know, however, that she will be suing me for custody

> of my children because the whole little packet of

> about 30-some-odd typewritten pages is about what a

> sicko mother I am and how crazy I am.

You have, of course, read chapter 11 in SWOE about false accusations?

Also, there is a 3-CD custody set available through BPD Central that may

be useful. What you don't know about the legal stuff could possibly hurt

you. I can't find my custody set otherwise I'd loan it to you. Evidently

I've lent it out and its not come back yet. For info go to:

http://www.bpdcentral.com/cds/youremyworld.shtml

Also, I can supply you offlist with the email address of a lawyer who

can refer you to one in your area who is familiar with the legal aspects

of dealing with custody issues when there are BPs involved.

Knowledge is power.

- Edith

..

[Guest guest]

My heart goes out to you, , and I believe I speak

for all who wish the best to you.

My experience has always been that you can never

over document information which can help your " actual reality "

case against nada's " borderland " ideas. Yes, Edith may well

be correct, and maybe she's just jerking your chain.

Just in case, though, remember the phrase " the best cure for

fear and panic is preparation " . Anything can help...ongoing journal

diaries, a list you type on the computer of specific dates and what

happened, what she said and did, how you responded, etc. Letters

from nada, witnesses of all sorts, etc. can all help you.

This is a good time to warn your therapist about nada's potential

actions. You never know, he may just say to you " What civil case? " .

Peace and blessings to you

Warren

In a message dated 2/21/03 4:05:43 PM Eastern Standard Time,

wondrrkid@... writes:

> Subj: Re: help

> Date: 2/21/03 4:05:43 PM Eastern Standard Time

> From: <A HREF= " mailto:wondrrkid@... " >wondrrkid@...</A>

> Reply-to: <A

HREF= " mailto:ModOasis " >ModOasis </A>

> To: <A HREF= " mailto:ModOasis " >ModOasis </A>

> Sent from the Internet

>

>

>

> Fingeroot wrote:

> >

> >I really need help right now. I'm so freaked out I'm

> >shaking!

>

> Hi ,

>

> Its time to take deep breaths and do relaxation stuff. You wrote:

>

> >I just received a copy of a complaint my nada filed

> >against my therapist blaiming him for my

> > " deteriorating mental health " and claiming I have BPD.

>

> I'm wondering what your therapist's response is to this. Have you talked

> with him? Your nada attended that two-hour session in his office with

> you a couple of months back. Also, your previous therapist had advised

> that you move and not leave a forwarding address. If you have this in

> writing it may be very useful in the future.

>

> >She quotes a BPD expert she has been consulting with

> >in Atlanta and uses every emotion and illness I have

> >ever had in my life as evidence that I suffer from all

> >of the criteria.

>

> Not all therapists are experts or are qualified to treat either BPs or

> the family members of BPs. The questions one can ask a therapist to help

> determine their competency BP-wise are in SWOE on pages 238-9. Some BPs

> do stuff like your nada is doing. We've had KOs lurking on this list in

> the past who've been repeatedly sued by their BP parent and others were

> too afraid to post to the list for fear their nada/fada would use what

> they posted against them.

>

> >She also says she is filing civil action, but doesn't

> >say specifically what that is.

>

> When a KO starts setting boundaries, it ALWAYS gets worse before it gets

> better. Its time to get very serious about objectively documenting the

> stuff that she's done -- for example, when she grabbed you and struck

> you in the yard in front of your son around Xmas time. You posted then

> that the neighbors might have seen it. The idea with documenting is to

> have the neighbors validate, in writing, that they observed this to

> happen -- date, time, and just the facts. Also, a KO should call 911

> when stuff like that happens and have the officer write it up. You may

> need that evidence later in court (or to prevent this from going to

> court). Its a power play between you and your nada. Not that she at this

> point in time has a leg to stand on. It sounds more like she's yanking

> on your chain because you wrote " She also says she is filing civil

> action ... " . Nadas/fadas have embeded their FOG (Fear, Obligation, and

> Guilt) 'hooks' in us from our earliest days and, because they've been

> successful in getting their way by doing stuff in the past, they're

> confident they can predict how their KO will respond. Nadas/fadas need

> to feel that they have control over us and they yank on their KO's

> chains willy-nilly as a power thing.

>

> >I know, however, that she will be suing me for custody

> >of my children because the whole little packet of

> >about 30-some-odd typewritten pages is about what a

> >sicko mother I am and how crazy I am.

>

> You have, of course, read chapter 11 in SWOE about false accusations?

> Also, there is a 3-CD custody set available through BPD Central that may

> be useful. What you don't know about the legal stuff could possibly hurt

> you. I can't find my custody set otherwise I'd loan it to you. Evidently

> I've lent it out and its not come back yet. For info go to:

> http://www.bpdcentral.com/cds/youremyworld.shtml

>

> Also, I can supply you offlist with the email address of a lawyer who

> can refer you to one in your area who is familiar with the legal aspects

> of dealing with custody issues when there are BPs involved.

>

> Knowledge is power.

>

> - Edith

>

>

> .

>

>

> To get off the list, send a blank message to

> ModOasis-unsubscribe . Send questions & amp; concerns to

> ModOasis-owner . & quot;Stop Walking on Eggshells, & quot; a

> primer for non-BPs can be ordered via 1-888-35-SHELL (). For

> the table of contents, see http://www.BPDCentral.com

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I once had those feelings of terror and utter protectiveness for my

child when I thought that nada's next move was to sue me for

visitation. My parents are at the end (I hope) of a 2 year battle

for a divorce after 32 years and nada is a bit sue happy. I had not

seen her in well over a year (12/01 - 03/13) and it had been over 5

months at the time that she made that threat to sue me to my brother

that she had not seen my son.

I hit the internet for info, and for what I found, I felt much better

about her chances of actually succeeding in gaining visitation

through the courts. It varies by state (or province or country I

assume), but in NY (where I am), from what I could tell, I would have

to be declared unfit and she would have to prove that visitation was

in the best interest of the child. She loses big time on both

accounts. It made me feel better because I could see that she was

just using it to scare me (which it did). It was just a big ol'

panic button that she placed in me to try to get me to comply to her

needs.

You see, at one time (9/01) I said that I would never interfere with

her relationship with my son, that it was none of my business. HA!

I was more than naive, not knowing about BPD then. I have since

learned a great deal and will protect my son from her, never allowing

a full blown " relationship " (as if she were capable) until he is old

enough to decide for himself.

You can email me offlist if you would like some of the info that I

obtained. It might be enough to make you feel better.

Hugs,

Trish

> i have not heard anything from my mother in three months i was

> beginning to think that i was in the clear. what a blast i got

today

> she phoned and told me that if i did not make arrangements for her

to

> see my children by monday she was taking me to court!!---so after a

> huge crying fit and picking myself up off the floor i contakted my

> thereapist for a emergency meeting. at which she advised me to try

> and meet my mother on a middle ground because she could get legal

> right to see them that it has become quite frequent in t he courts.

> so then i come home and this is friday and going on 3pm now and my

> mother inlaw and i tackle the phone book to see if we can get some

> legal advice from a lawyer--so we find out from a lawyer friend i

> went to school with that my mother hasn't a leg to stand on because

> she has not been active in my childrens life... now who do i

believe?

> my husband and i cannot afford a lawyer even though my mother inlaw

> said she would help us but i do not feel at all comfortable with

> meeting her on a middle ground i have been down that road with her

> befor and she just keeps taking more and i haven't got it in me to

> give. I do not want my children subjuected to her slandering me and

> my husband or drinking and carring on the way she does i feel i

have

> every right to stop her from being part of their life i know what

> kind of upbringing ive had and i do not want my children around

> mental abuse and the rest of the crap she shovels out

> if there is anyone who can give me their opinion or even experience

> it would really be appreciated i am at my wits end and would love

> some perspective

[Guest guest]

THANKS KATH,

I DID NOT GET IT PRINTED BUT WILL COME BACK AT A LATER TIME, WHEN I HAVE TIME

TO SEE WHAT IS GOING ON. IT IS SUCH GOOD INFORMATION ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE

MEDS.

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT THIS COMPUTER CAN BE WRITTEN ON MY SMALL FINGER

NAIL.!!!!!!!

THANKS

JAYN IN S GA

[Guest guest]

Hi Jayn

I hope you were able to print something off. I am sorry I wasn't able to

help as I just read my emails now at 8:30 pm. on Thursday night. I didn't

see any responses to your cry for help so I just wanted to say that if you

didn't get a chance to print something off, you could always fax it to the

doctor later.

I hope it went well and sorry I wasn't here to help. I think that if it

didn't print from where it was I would have tried to highlight the whole

thing, right click and copy and then open Microsoft Word and open a new

document and then right click and " Paste " . I am certainly no expert when it

comes to computers. Failing that I do what I always do when things don't

work on my computer. I shut it down and re-open it up and try it again.

This actually works most of the time. When it doesn't, then I do the next

logical thing. Yell...and then ...cry. And then call someone else who

knows what the hell to do with this f-ing machine...hehe

Hope all is well with you

Kath

HELP

> I HAVE WAITED UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO DO THIS. MY SISTER HAS AN APPT WITH

A

> FP AT 11:00 TODAY, THUR, I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO PRINT THE INFORMATION ON

MEDS

> FROM JIM'S CCC PAPERS. I CAN'T GET IT TO PRINT!!!!

> CAN SYNONE OUT THERE WALK ME THRU THE PROCESS OF PRINTING???

>

> JAYN

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

So many kids have reactions to the

folinic. My son is manic on folinic. Definitely try the nasal without it. I

absolutely love the MB-12 shots without-

From: mb12 valtrex

[mailto:mb12 valtrex ] On

Behalf Of Christi

Sent: Saturday, March 01, 2008

8:10 PM

To: mb12 valtrex

Subject: Help

I'm not new to autism or miomedical treatments. Our

DAN doctor ordered

the B12 nose spray once a day in one nostril just like I read of many

others. We had him on it and about three weeks in, he started having

what I can only guess as bad headaches. We saw no " instant "

improvement, but were willing to keep trying. On super bowl sunday he

started screaming for no reason and continued for 20 minutes. Nothing

would calm him down. It happened again twice more that week so we

stopped the spray. We asked our dr and he said anything up the nose has

potential for headaches. I looked up folinic (which was added to the

spray) and that did say caused headaches. I then tried it myself and

twice I got a headache. We wondered if anyone had this reaction and if

we should maybe try without folinic? Nothing new had been added or

stopped, so I know it is the spray. I heard such great things, that I

still want to give it a shot, but not at the expense of having my child

in pain. Any advice?

[Guest guest]

Hi Christi,

I haven't had this experience. I know, from

reading so many replies and reading about

people's experiences, that no one child is going

to respond to treatments the same.

Have you tried oral MB12, or injections? Also,

you may be right and it may be the folinic acid.

It's worth a try to have it compounded without.

Lastly, I know a sub-set of ASD kids are

overmethylators. I don't know for sure, but I

would imagine anything that adds a methylator

could cause problems. I'm sure someone else on

this list, with far more knowledge than I, can

tell you more about this.

Kim

--- Christi wrote:

> I'm not new to autism or miomedical treatments.

> Our DAN doctor ordered

> the B12 nose spray once a day in one nostril

> just like I read of many

> others. We had him on it and about three weeks

> in, he started having

> what I can only guess as bad headaches. We saw

> no " instant "

> improvement, but were willing to keep trying.

> On super bowl sunday he

> started screaming for no reason and continued

> for 20 minutes. Nothing

> would calm him down. It happened again twice

> more that week so we

> stopped the spray. We asked our dr and he said

> anything up the nose has

> potential for headaches. I looked up folinic

> (which was added to the

> spray) and that did say caused headaches. I

> then tried it myself and

> twice I got a headache. We wondered if anyone

> had this reaction and if

> we should maybe try without folinic? Nothing

> new had been added or

> stopped, so I know it is the spray. I heard

> such great things, that I

> still want to give it a shot, but not at the

> expense of having my child

> in pain. Any advice?

>

>

________________________________________________________________________________\

____

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[Guest guest]

We use the spray without the folinic. We have an oral folinic supplement

that we are about to add to the supplement list.

I used the spray and felt head pressure and had a headache too. I will

try it again tonight. I tried it in the other nostril last time and it

wasn't as bad.

I will report later if I still get a headache.

Christi wrote:

> I'm not new to autism or miomedical treatments. Our DAN doctor ordered

> the B12 nose spray once a day in one nostril just like I read of many

> others. We had him on it and about three weeks in, he started having

> what I can only guess as bad headaches. We saw no " instant "

> improvement, but were willing to keep trying. On super bowl sunday he

> started screaming for no reason and continued for 20 minutes. Nothing

> would calm him down. It happened again twice more that week so we

> stopped the spray. We asked our dr and he said anything up the nose has

> potential for headaches. I looked up folinic (which was added to the

> spray) and that did say caused headaches. I then tried it myself and

> twice I got a headache. We wondered if anyone had this reaction and if

> we should maybe try without folinic? Nothing new had been added or

> stopped, so I know it is the spray. I heard such great things, that I

> still want to give it a shot, but not at the expense of having my child

> in pain. Any advice?

>

>

>

>

>