Re: FW: RDI Conference notes on a child who talks too much? / Video talk

[Guest guest]

Thank you very much for posting this! It is a problem

we have been needing to address. Who could I discuss

this with and learn more? I have several questions,

the most being that my son (7) lectures constantly

about motors, engine, and is also constantly denying

that he is human but is instead a machine, and the

things that apply to humans don't to him. It is such

a constant that if I mention ANYTHING at any time

about a body part (ie that will hurt your tummy), he

says " I don't have a tummy, I have a tank " .

Anyway, thanks for this very timely post. I will try

to read more at RDI. Just wanted you to know just how

much I needed that!

--- LINDA ANAGNOSTAKOS <lsa5885@...> wrote:

>

>

>

> >From: " Kathy Darrow " <k.darrow@...>

> >Reply-RDI-NJ

> >RDI-NJ

> >Subject: [RDI-NJ] RDI Conference notes on a child

> who talks too much

> >Date: Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:05:36 -0000

> >

> >By

> >Patti Parsons (Taken from homeschoolers

> groups)

> >

> >Communication: My Child Talks Too Much

> >RDI Parent Conference

> >Aug. 2006

> >Janice Guice, presenter

> >

> >Janice began by asking us to look at our own

> communication styles.

> >Do

> >we talk too much ourselves?

> >

> >She said there are 2 reasons why our children might

> be talking too

> >much:

> >1) Top Down – Child might be seeking competence

> >a) Need to be in charge so he feels competent

> > Need to stay away from incompetence – by

> creating a static system

> >2) Bottom Up – Due to core deficits

> >a) Lack of self-awareness

> > Lack of Episodic Memory, i.e. the fun of being

> silent.

> >

> >Questions to ask:

> >Verbal stimming – will they let me join them?

> >Is it just an information exchange or is it true

> experience sharing?

> >In what context does it happen (or worsen)?

> >

> >Stopping the Action

> >1. Consider using headphones (i.e. if they are

> doing a lot of verbal

> >repetitions or perseverating on a topic) – but be

> careful – doesn't

> >work on all kids. Don't use if they get truly

> distressed every time.

> >Make sure it is not punitive; as soon as

> conversation normalizes,

> >take off headphones. Also, if you are going to use

> it, be

> >consistent.

> >If using headphones and child gets distressed, you

> can take off the

> >headphones and say, " What did you say? "

> >2. Act uninterested

> >3. " I know that's interesting to you; I'd like to

> have a turn to

> >talk. "

> >4. In the car – pulling over to stop the action.

> >5. Don't get up and leave to stop the action; just

> stop facial

> >response and stop talking.

> >

> >Use " we " language – " I can't wait until we work

> together to finish

> >our conversation. "

> >

> >Compartmentalize – " You can do silly talk in your

> room before

> >dinner. "

> >

> >Teach child to segue by modeling, " Oh, by the way… "

> or " Oh, that

> >reminds me… " (Spotlighting?)

> >

> >Try just sitting on the couch for a chat, even if

> very brief

> >initially: " Let's sit on the couch and talk. " You

> can get a

> >newspaper

> >article, magazine or catalog to look through, " If I

> could get

> >anything on this page I'd get… " Good idea to do

> this after a sensory

> >activity.

> >

> >Repetitive questioning – respond just one time

> meaningfully.

> >

> >If child gets off-topic, try to bring back to

> topic.

> >

> >If child interrupts – try responding in an

> exaggerated way (loudly

> >and moving closer to child's face): " What do you

> mean? " or " Oh

> >really? "

> >

> >If child is making noises – try turning it into a

> regulatory game.

> >

> >Repetitive jokes: " I already heard that. It was

> funny! "

> >

> >Being Silent: kids have a small " bank account " of

> ways to have fun

> >being silent. Some ideas:

> >1. Statue game – all strike a pose; no moving or

> speaking for 30

> >seconds (or more as time goes on.)

> >2. Charades (can do " team charades " i.e. if the

> word is hose, one

> >can

> >pretend to hold the hose; the other person can turn

> on the water.)

> >3. Scavenger hunt with no talking

> >4. Playing a board game – try coming up with 4

> words and only those

> >words can be used during the game. 2 words

> celebratory

> >(i.e. " Cool " " Awesome " ); 2 words expressing

> frustration

> >(i.e. " Rats " " Man " ). Variation: let the child help

> come up with the

> >words; use silly words (i.e. tomato); use only 2

> words but use the

> >inflection to make it celebratory or frustrating

> (oh, tomatoes vs.

> >TOMATOES!!)

> >5. Don't have to be completely silent through a

> whole game if it is

> >too frustrating.

> >6. Silent hide and seek

> >7. Make only animal sounds instead of talking

> >

> >Build Episodic Memories around silence!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

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> strictly with

> the original author(s), and is not necessarily

> endorsed by or the

> opinion of the Research Institute, the

> Parent Coalition, or the list moderator(s).

>

>