FW: RDI Conference notes on a child who talks too much? / Video talk

[Guest guest]

>From: " Kathy Darrow " <k.darrow@...>

>Reply-RDI-NJ

>RDI-NJ

>Subject: [RDI-NJ] RDI Conference notes on a child who talks too much

>Date: Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:05:36 -0000

>

>By

>Patti Parsons (Taken from homeschoolers )

>

>Communication: My Child Talks Too Much

>RDI Parent Conference

>Aug. 2006

>Janice Guice, presenter

>

>Janice began by asking us to look at our own communication styles.

>Do

>we talk too much ourselves?

>

>She said there are 2 reasons why our children might be talking too

>much:

>1) Top Down – Child might be seeking competence

>a) Need to be in charge so he feels competent

> Need to stay away from incompetence – by creating a static system

>2) Bottom Up – Due to core deficits

>a) Lack of self-awareness

> Lack of Episodic Memory, i.e. the fun of being silent.

>

>Questions to ask:

>Verbal stimming – will they let me join them?

>Is it just an information exchange or is it true experience sharing?

>In what context does it happen (or worsen)?

>

>Stopping the Action

>1. Consider using headphones (i.e. if they are doing a lot of verbal

>repetitions or perseverating on a topic) – but be careful – doesn't

>work on all kids. Don't use if they get truly distressed every time.

>Make sure it is not punitive; as soon as conversation normalizes,

>take off headphones. Also, if you are going to use it, be

>consistent.

>If using headphones and child gets distressed, you can take off the

>headphones and say, " What did you say? "

>2. Act uninterested

>3. " I know that's interesting to you; I'd like to have a turn to

>talk. "

>4. In the car – pulling over to stop the action.

>5. Don't get up and leave to stop the action; just stop facial

>response and stop talking.

>

>Use " we " language – " I can't wait until we work together to finish

>our conversation. "

>

>Compartmentalize – " You can do silly talk in your room before

>dinner. "

>

>Teach child to segue by modeling, " Oh, by the way… " or " Oh, that

>reminds me… " (Spotlighting?)

>

>Try just sitting on the couch for a chat, even if very brief

>initially: " Let's sit on the couch and talk. " You can get a

>newspaper

>article, magazine or catalog to look through, " If I could get

>anything on this page I'd get… " Good idea to do this after a sensory

>activity.

>

>Repetitive questioning – respond just one time meaningfully.

>

>If child gets off-topic, try to bring back to topic.

>

>If child interrupts – try responding in an exaggerated way (loudly

>and moving closer to child's face): " What do you mean? " or " Oh

>really? "

>

>If child is making noises – try turning it into a regulatory game.

>

>Repetitive jokes: " I already heard that. It was funny! "

>

>Being Silent: kids have a small " bank account " of ways to have fun

>being silent. Some ideas:

>1. Statue game – all strike a pose; no moving or speaking for 30

>seconds (or more as time goes on.)

>2. Charades (can do " team charades " i.e. if the word is hose, one

>can

>pretend to hold the hose; the other person can turn on the water.)

>3. Scavenger hunt with no talking

>4. Playing a board game – try coming up with 4 words and only those

>words can be used during the game. 2 words celebratory

>(i.e. " Cool " " Awesome " ); 2 words expressing frustration

>(i.e. " Rats " " Man " ). Variation: let the child help come up with the

>words; use silly words (i.e. tomato); use only 2 words but use the

>inflection to make it celebratory or frustrating (oh, tomatoes vs.

>TOMATOES!!)

>5. Don't have to be completely silent through a whole game if it is

>too frustrating.

>6. Silent hide and seek

>7. Make only animal sounds instead of talking

>

>Build Episodic Memories around silence!

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