Re: I'm devastated

[Guest guest]

Jerri,

Oh yes I know exactly how you feel. I know how easy it is to feel

like you are under a microscope, and it feels like everyone is

watching every move.

Remember they have detention for a reason, for other kids too. Your

son is not the 1st one to ever bite anyone. In some ways, it is a

positive they put him in detention. i think many schools would

not have treated him like they would any other kid who bit someone.

I also know your son has been through a rough period with the

acyclovir. It is not anyone's fault, he can't help how he feels

right now, but he will get back on track. Once he does, be

aggressive with getting ALL of his meds right working with Dr G.

You can't give up, we won't let you But you can take a break.

Take one if possible, even if it is a bath and ignore everyone

else. I made my husband get my son ready for school this fall....Im

too exhausted right now. The good reports and the steady kid will

come, I know it will.

Hang in there,

317-844-8051

>

> I picked up my son at school today and he was in detention. He bit

a

> child in the back of the head. He didn't puncture him or but it

freaked

> the kid out and my son has to be in detention tomorrow also. This

was

> after a finally great day yesterday at school of completing most

of his

> work, which he hasn't done at all so far this year. I finally got

him on

> track again after the disastrous switch to Acyclovir and now he is

out

> of whack again. Eyes dilated and hyper. I don't know if he is

coming

> down with something or what's up but somethings definitely off

again.

> I'm worried about this going on his permanent record. *My* *son

has

> never been aggressive*. So this is such a shock. After trying to

pry any

> information out of him I could. All I could get is, he is really

bored.

> Which I believe is true. Some days I just want to lay down and

quit.

> It's just too much to figure out, too much medicines, too much

worry,

> too little progress for so much effort. I know I can't give up.

Hope is

> all I have. But some times it's too difficult to put one foot in

front

> of the other. They made such a big deal out of it at school. I'm

> thinking anyone that sees his school record will see autism and

> aggression and that's all they will see.

> Sorry for all the venting but I know you guys are the only ones

who will

> understand. I just now got some children to agree to come over to

our

> house after school to play with my son and the therapist that

works with

> him. I'm wondering if they will even come over now. Any

encouragement

> would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Jerri

>

[Guest guest]

Jerri,

I am so sorry about what happened at school today. We haven't had the

biting thing, but we have had many incidents where I have said... " If I had

done this when I was little it would have been the most humiliating thing I

ever did/said/whatever. " These things have happened again and again. All I

can say is that the memories fade with time. And my boys have gotten older

they " get it " a *little* better so the instances have not been quite so

terrible. Sometimes I'm grateful for the teacher NOT telling me everything

that goes on at school (if it's someone I trust).

One thing that did come to mind is that there may be more to what happened

than your son is able to communicate to you. For instance my son had a

horrible day at kindergarten once... came home and cried for an hour while I

played the guessing game to see what had happened and I thought I finally

had it figured out but much later I found out it was something completely

different that had upset him. The more upset my 11 year old was when he was

young, the more blocked his communication channels became. Once he walked

around at an airshow for hours with his HARD orthotics on the wrong feet and

even though his feet hurt he couldn't find the words to tell anyone why he

kept bursting into tears when he got home. I had to guess and guess again

until I got to " Are you in pain? " then keep guessing 'til I got to his feet.

He could always communicate better in writing, though, so when we thought to

have him write things down when he was upset that helped him immensely to

communicate with us.

Even now that he communicates fairly well he seems to communicate better

right when we have turned off the lights at bedtime... he is calm and there

are no distractions... he loves to talk at that time and sometimes he just

pours his heart out.

Anyway, could the boy have been bullying him? Not that it makes it OK to

bite, but you have to wonder what made him lash out like that. He must have

been pretty frustrated.

I remember one incident where one son did something I just thought I curl up

and die over and after explaining (in tears) why it was so wrong, I sent him

to his room to write a letter of apology. He spent over an hour on it...

went into great detail about why it was wrong and referred to famous people

who had been great examples in history... it blew my mind. It was

beautiful. There is so much inside of these kids... we have to help them

formulate their lives the best we can.

I feel so sympathetic toward your situation. Hang in there. There will be

better days.

Caroline

[Guest guest]

Thanks Caroline, I spoke to several people and the incident was not

provoked and no one asked him to do it. This has been a problem this

year as kids were asking him to go hug the bigger kids and he got hit

with a football one time because the big kid didn't like it. (Rightly

so). So it's been rough. He loves to make people laugh and I think he

thought it might be something funny. We did get him to write an apology

letter also. He has a lot of great things in his head but he hates to do

physical handwriting. We have worked on handwriting for five years now

and it's still very difficult to read so we have taught him to type a

little and it has helped get a little bit more out of him as far as

writing goes.

Thanks for your kind post. I think I'm going to take a nice bath like

suggested and hope for a better day tomorrow. I really related to

her comment about living under a microscope, Phew! No wonder I want to

run away. Thanks again, Jerri

Caroline Glover wrote:

> Jerri,

>

> I am so sorry about what happened at school today. We haven't had the

> biting thing, but we have had many incidents where I have said... " If I had

> done this when I was little it would have been the most humiliating thing I

> ever did/said/whatever. " These things have happened again and again. All I

> can say is that the memories fade with time. And my boys have gotten older

> they " get it " a *little* better so the instances have not been quite so

> terrible. Sometimes I'm grateful for the teacher NOT telling me everything

> that goes on at school (if it's someone I trust).

>

> One thing that did come to mind is that there may be more to what happened

> than your son is able to communicate to you. For instance my son had a

> horrible day at kindergarten once... came home and cried for an hour while I

> played the guessing game to see what had happened and I thought I finally

> had it figured out but much later I found out it was something completely

> different that had upset him. The more upset my 11 year old was when he was

> young, the more blocked his communication channels became. Once he walked

> around at an airshow for hours with his HARD orthotics on the wrong feet and

> even though his feet hurt he couldn't find the words to tell anyone why he

> kept bursting into tears when he got home. I had to guess and guess again

> until I got to " Are you in pain? " then keep guessing 'til I got to his feet.

> He could always communicate better in writing, though, so when we thought to

> have him write things down when he was upset that helped him immensely to

> communicate with us.

>

> Even now that he communicates fairly well he seems to communicate better

> right when we have turned off the lights at bedtime... he is calm and there

> are no distractions... he loves to talk at that time and sometimes he just

> pours his heart out.

>

> Anyway, could the boy have been bullying him? Not that it makes it OK to

> bite, but you have to wonder what made him lash out like that. He must have

> been pretty frustrated.

>

> I remember one incident where one son did something I just thought I curl up

> and die over and after explaining (in tears) why it was so wrong, I sent him

> to his room to write a letter of apology. He spent over an hour on it...

> went into great detail about why it was wrong and referred to famous people

> who had been great examples in history... it blew my mind. It was

> beautiful. There is so much inside of these kids... we have to help them

> formulate their lives the best we can.

>

> I feel so sympathetic toward your situation. Hang in there. There will be

> better days.

>

> Caroline

>

>

>

>

>

> Responsibility for the content of this message lies strictly with

> the original author(s), and is not necessarily endorsed by or the

> opinion of the Research Institute, the Parent Coalition, or the list

moderator(s).

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Jerri -

Similar things are happening w/my son also - actually,

both boys are off and I feel a continuous need to

apologize to both teachers. I find my shoulders

hunching sometimes as I walk up to the school, so I

know I'm internalizing guilt - or rather embarrassment

probably - 'cause I feel so certain they think I'm

awful - esPECIALLY since I've had to meet with them

before in an acute state of PANDAS - LOL! Can you

imagine? Ughh.

Anyway, they talk " firm " when they report detention.

It is how they are expected to report. A teacher told

me that specifically. The same people, met outside in

the hall, will speak very differently of my son,

expressing how they can tell this isn't like him, that

they know he wants to please them, and that he seems

to be incapable of stopping himself right now.

Compassion abounds - but NOT in the official meetings.

I was so stressed and near tears at the end of last

year when my son went on a temporary aggressive spell,

and they all said to me " We have children with NO

special needs or behavior challenges in here every day

for a lot worse than this. You do not have a bad kid,

so don't even worry about it - just help us work it

out. "

Now we're going thru it again, and I finally realize

he's sick. At least they're going to get to see that

transformation that happens in about a week.

I pray for your son to get back on track soon.

Bless you momma!

--- Jerri Gann <njgann@...> wrote:

> Thanks Caroline, I spoke to several people and the

> incident was not

> provoked and no one asked him to do it. This has

> been a problem this

> year as kids were asking him to go hug the bigger

> kids and he got hit

> with a football one time because the big kid didn't

> like it. (Rightly

> so). So it's been rough. He loves to make people

> laugh and I think he

> thought it might be something funny. We did get him

> to write an apology

> letter also. He has a lot of great things in his

> head but he hates to do

> physical handwriting. We have worked on handwriting

> for five years now

> and it's still very difficult to read so we have

> taught him to type a

> little and it has helped get a little bit more out

> of him as far as

> writing goes.

> Thanks for your kind post. I think I'm going to take

> a nice bath like

> suggested and hope for a better day tomorrow.

> I really related to

> her comment about living under a microscope, Phew!

> No wonder I want to

> run away. Thanks again, Jerri

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi again

One thing I'm experiencing with my son while he is

" off " and very reactive is that he is interpreting

neutral expressions as negative or aggressive ones.

He hit (and threatened to cut w/scissors) a child that

had been mean to him once weeks ago because the child

looked at him on Monday. He also has an expression if

I look at him wrong ('cause he's really ticking me off

with a very smart mouth right now lol!) like I just

terrified him - like just the slightest scrunching of

my eyebrows terrified him or 'hit' him - although he

isn't expressing it. And I remember from childhood

how angry my mom used to look sometimes and she would

insist that she is not.

He doesn't have the words to explain right now and he

usually does. But he'll be ok. (Watch out for that

soy and that strep!)

Bye now,

--- Caroline Glover <sfglover@...> wrote:

> Anyway, could the boy have been bullying him? Not

> that it makes it OK to

> bite, but you have to wonder what made him lash out

> like that. He must have

> been pretty frustrated.

>> Caroline

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much , I think and certainly hope you are right about

detention and they are remembering how out of character this is for him.

I've been concerned for you too and having to try this on your own

without Dr G. I hope and pray for you too that you can keep your boys on

track. Oh if we only could get a hold of all the money we need to get

all of our kids well. Thank you for your prayers. They mean a lot to

me. Jerri

> Hey Jerri -

>

> Similar things are happening w/my son also - actually,

> both boys are off and I feel a continuous need to

> apologize to both teachers. I find my shoulders

> hunching sometimes as I walk up to the school, so I

> know I'm internalizing guilt - or rather embarrassment

> probably - 'cause I feel so certain they think I'm

> awful - esPECIALLY since I've had to meet with them

> before in an acute state of PANDAS - LOL! Can you

> imagine? Ughh.

>

> Anyway, they talk " firm " when they report detention.

> It is how they are expected to report. A teacher told

> me that specifically. The same people, met outside in

> the hall, will speak very differently of my son,

> expressing how they can tell this isn't like him, that

> they know he wants to please them, and that he seems

> to be incapable of stopping himself right now.

> Compassion abounds - but NOT in the official meetings.

>

>

> I was so stressed and near tears at the end of last

> year when my son went on a temporary aggressive spell,

> and they all said to me " We have children with NO

> special needs or behavior challenges in here every day

> for a lot worse than this. You do not have a bad kid,

> so don't even worry about it - just help us work it

> out. "

>

> Now we're going thru it again, and I finally realize

> he's sick. At least they're going to get to see that

> transformation that happens in about a week.

>

> I pray for your son to get back on track soon.

> Bless you momma!

>

>

>

>

> --- Jerri Gann <njgann@...> wrote:

>

>

>> Thanks Caroline, I spoke to several people and the

>> incident was not

>> provoked and no one asked him to do it. This has

>> been a problem this

>> year as kids were asking him to go hug the bigger

>> kids and he got hit

>> with a football one time because the big kid didn't

>> like it. (Rightly

>> so). So it's been rough. He loves to make people

>> laugh and I think he

>> thought it might be something funny. We did get him

>> to write an apology

>> letter also. He has a lot of great things in his

>> head but he hates to do

>> physical handwriting. We have worked on handwriting

>> for five years now

>> and it's still very difficult to read so we have

>> taught him to type a

>> little and it has helped get a little bit more out

>> of him as far as

>> writing goes.

>> Thanks for your kind post. I think I'm going to take

>> a nice bath like

>> suggested and hope for a better day tomorrow.

>> I really related to

>> her comment about living under a microscope, Phew!

>> No wonder I want to

>> run away. Thanks again, Jerri

>>

>>

>>

>>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jerri,

I'm just now catching up after a couple of days away from the

list...I'm so sorry about this incident, but believe me, we've all

been there, done that too! It's IS a very good sign that the school

dealt with him exactly the way they did with any other child. Keep in

mind that your boy's teachers and school officials also know that this

behavior was out of character. Of course, they don't know him like

you do, but they do see him and work with him every day.

Regarding aides -- I just wanted to mention I had the same problem

with 's aides " mothering " him, hovering over him, removing him

from the classroom for the slightest infraction, letting him

manipulate them, etc. One actually admitted to me that was " so

cute, he just gives me that smile and I just end up giving him

whatever he wants. " (!!) He's not ready to do without an aide yet, so

I called a special IEP and had it modified to say " Access Aide must be

fully trained in techniques to encourage student independence and

extinguish negative or disruptive behaviors. " They brought in a

consultant who came in once or twice a month to observe and train ALL

of the aides, and it's made a world of difference.

Hugs and HTH,

Donna

> >

> >> I picked up my son at school today and he was in detention. He bit

> >>

> > a

> >

> >> child in the back of the head. He didn't puncture him or but it

> >>

> > freaked

> >

> >> the kid out and my son has to be in detention tomorrow also. This

> >>

> > was

> >

> >> after a finally great day yesterday at school of completing most

> >>

> > of his

> >

> >> work, which he hasn't done at all so far this year. I finally got

> >>

> > him on

> >

> >> track again after the disastrous switch to Acyclovir and now he is

> >>

> > out

> >

> >> of whack again. Eyes dilated and hyper. I don't know if he is

> >>

> > coming

> >

> >> down with something or what's up but somethings definitely off

> >>

> > again.

> >

> >> I'm worried about this going on his permanent record. *My* *son

> >>

> > has

> >

> >> never been aggressive*. So this is such a shock. After trying to

> >>

> > pry any

> >

> >> information out of him I could. All I could get is, he is really

> >>

> > bored.

> >

> >> Which I believe is true. Some days I just want to lay down and

> >>

> > quit.

> >

> >> It's just too much to figure out, too much medicines, too much

> >>

> > worry,

> >

> >> too little progress for so much effort. I know I can't give up.

> >>

> > Hope is

> >

> >> all I have. But some times it's too difficult to put one foot in

> >>

> > front

> >

> >> of the other. They made such a big deal out of it at school. I'm

> >> thinking anyone that sees his school record will see autism and

> >> aggression and that's all they will see.

> >> Sorry for all the venting but I know you guys are the only ones

> >>

> > who will

> >

> >> understand. I just now got some children to agree to come over to

> >>

> > our

> >

> >> house after school to play with my son and the therapist that

> >>

> > works with

> >

> >> him. I'm wondering if they will even come over now. Any

> >>

> > encouragement

> >

> >> would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Jerri

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Responsibility for the content of this message lies strictly with

> > the original author(s), and is not necessarily endorsed by or the

> > opinion of the Research Institute, the Parent Coalition,

or the list moderator(s).

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thank you back, Jerri. I'm only now (re)learning how

to pray, and surprised at how effective it can be.

That darn money thing. Guess it's just another

challenge to overcome. Get the fatigue thing out of

the way, and boy I'll go scrub some houses. Heck

I clean 3 of them now even when I can hardly walk

upstairs - which I find odd that I can do. Just put

one foot in front of the other.

Surely I'll get there.

--- Jerri Gann <njgann@...> wrote:

>

>

> Thanks so much , I think and certainly hope

> you are right about

> detention and they are remembering how out of

> character this is for him.

> I've been concerned for you too and having to try

> this on your own

> without Dr G. I hope and pray for you too that you

> can keep your boys on

> track. Oh if we only could get a hold of all the

> money we need to get

> all of our kids well. Thank you for your prayers.

> They mean a lot to

> me. Jerri

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

You have given so much help to all of us . I pray that God will

give it all back to you and your children tenfold. I pray that we will

all surely get there with our children whole and happy with us! Jerri

wrote:

> Thank you back, Jerri. I'm only now (re)learning how

> to pray, and surprised at how effective it can be.

>

> That darn money thing. Guess it's just another

> challenge to overcome. Get the fatigue thing out of

> the way, and boy I'll go scrub some houses. Heck

> I clean 3 of them now even when I can hardly walk

> upstairs - which I find odd that I can do. Just put

> one foot in front of the other.

>

> Surely I'll get there.

>

>

>

>

>

> --- Jerri Gann <njgann@...> wrote:

>

>

>> Thanks so much , I think and certainly hope

>> you are right about

>> detention and they are remembering how out of

>> character this is for him.

>> I've been concerned for you too and having to try

>> this on your own

>> without Dr G. I hope and pray for you too that you

>> can keep your boys on

>> track. Oh if we only could get a hold of all the

>> money we need to get

>> all of our kids well. Thank you for your prayers.

>> They mean a lot to

>> me. Jerri

>>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Jerri

What meds is your son on and for how long?

Just curious.

> >

> >> I picked up my son at school today and he was in detention. He

bit

> >>

> > a

> >

> >> child in the back of the head. He didn't puncture him or but it

> >>

> > freaked

> >

> >> the kid out and my son has to be in detention tomorrow also.

This

> >>

> > was

> >

> >> after a finally great day yesterday at school of completing

most

> >>

> > of his

> >

> >> work, which he hasn't done at all so far this year. I finally

got

> >>

> > him on

> >

> >> track again after the disastrous switch to Acyclovir and now he

is

> >>

> > out

> >

> >> of whack again. Eyes dilated and hyper. I don't know if he is

> >>

> > coming

> >

> >> down with something or what's up but somethings definitely off

> >>

> > again.

> >

> >> I'm worried about this going on his permanent record. *My* *son

> >>

> > has

> >

> >> never been aggressive*. So this is such a shock. After trying

to

> >>

> > pry any

> >

> >> information out of him I could. All I could get is, he is

really

> >>

> > bored.

> >

> >> Which I believe is true. Some days I just want to lay down and

> >>

> > quit.

> >

> >> It's just too much to figure out, too much medicines, too much

> >>

> > worry,

> >

> >> too little progress for so much effort. I know I can't give up.

> >>

> > Hope is

> >

> >> all I have. But some times it's too difficult to put one foot

in

> >>

> > front

> >

> >> of the other. They made such a big deal out of it at school.

I'm

> >> thinking anyone that sees his school record will see autism and

> >> aggression and that's all they will see.

> >> Sorry for all the venting but I know you guys are the only ones

> >>

> > who will

> >

> >> understand. I just now got some children to agree to come over

to

> >>

> > our

> >

> >> house after school to play with my son and the therapist that

> >>

> > works with

> >

> >> him. I'm wondering if they will even come over now. Any

> >>

> > encouragement

> >

> >> would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Jerri

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Responsibility for the content of this message lies strictly

with

> > the original author(s), and is not necessarily endorsed by or

the

> > opinion of the Research Institute, the Parent

Coalition, or the list moderator(s).

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Jerri

I know what you mean by " missing something " . I wrack my brain

sometimes trying to figure it out.

Are you sure your Diflucan has no red dye? (you may have already

posted this before, I forget.)

Is your son one of those who seems to do better when on

antibiotics?

And one other very subtle....my son did better when I took him off

kyodophilus and put him on a sraight acidophilus....I don't know why.

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> I picked up my son at school today and he was in detention.

He

> >>>>

> > bit

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> a

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> child in the back of the head. He didn't puncture him or but

it

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> freaked

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> the kid out and my son has to be in detention tomorrow also.

> >>>>

> > This

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> was

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> after a finally great day yesterday at school of completing

> >>>>

> > most

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> of his

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> work, which he hasn't done at all so far this year. I finally

> >>>>

> > got

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> him on

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> track again after the disastrous switch to Acyclovir and now

he

> >>>>

> > is

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> out

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> of whack again. Eyes dilated and hyper. I don't know if he is

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> coming

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> down with something or what's up but somethings definitely

off

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> again.

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> I'm worried about this going on his permanent record. *My*

*son

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> has

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> never been aggressive*. So this is such a shock. After trying

> >>>>

> > to

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> pry any

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> information out of him I could. All I could get is, he is

> >>>>

> > really

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> bored.

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> Which I believe is true. Some days I just want to lay down

and

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> quit.

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> It's just too much to figure out, too much medicines, too

much

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> worry,

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> too little progress for so much effort. I know I can't give

up.

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> Hope is

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> all I have. But some times it's too difficult to put one foot

> >>>>

> > in

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> front

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> of the other. They made such a big deal out of it at school.

> >>>>

> > I'm

> >

> >>>> thinking anyone that sees his school record will see autism

and

> >>>> aggression and that's all they will see.

> >>>> Sorry for all the venting but I know you guys are the only

ones

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> who will

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> understand. I just now got some children to agree to come

over

> >>>>

> > to

> >

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> our

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> house after school to play with my son and the therapist that

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> works with

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> him. I'm wondering if they will even come over now. Any

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>> encouragement

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>> would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Jerri

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>> Responsibility for the content of this message lies strictly

> >>>

> > with

> >

> >>> the original author(s), and is not necessarily endorsed by or

> >>>

> > the

> >

> >>> opinion of the Research Institute, the Parent

> >>>

> > Coalition, or the list moderator(s).

> >

> >>>

> >>>

[Guest guest]

Here is a link to the acidophilus we have been using most of this

year.

http://www.webvitamins.com/product.aspx?id=8734

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> I picked up my son at school today and he was in detention.

> >>>>>>

> > He

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> bit

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> a

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> child in the back of the head. He didn't puncture him or

but

> >>>>>>

> > it

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> freaked

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> the kid out and my son has to be in detention tomorrow

also.

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> This

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> was

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> after a finally great day yesterday at school of completing

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> most

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> of his

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> work, which he hasn't done at all so far this year. I

finally

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> got

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> him on

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> track again after the disastrous switch to Acyclovir and

now

> >>>>>>

> > he

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> is

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> out

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> of whack again. Eyes dilated and hyper. I don't know if he

is

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> coming

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> down with something or what's up but somethings definitely

> >>>>>>

> > off

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> again.

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> I'm worried about this going on his permanent record. *My*

> >>>>>>

> > *son

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> has

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> never been aggressive*. So this is such a shock. After

trying

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> to

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> pry any

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> information out of him I could. All I could get is, he is

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> really

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> bored.

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> Which I believe is true. Some days I just want to lay down

> >>>>>>

> > and

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> quit.

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> It's just too much to figure out, too much medicines, too

> >>>>>>

> > much

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> worry,

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> too little progress for so much effort. I know I can't give

> >>>>>>

> > up.

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> Hope is

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> all I have. But some times it's too difficult to put one

foot

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> in

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> front

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> of the other. They made such a big deal out of it at

school.

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> I'm

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>> thinking anyone that sees his school record will see autism

> >>>>>>

> > and

> >

> >>>>>> aggression and that's all they will see.

> >>>>>> Sorry for all the venting but I know you guys are the only

> >>>>>>

> > ones

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> who will

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> understand. I just now got some children to agree to come

> >>>>>>

> > over

> >

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>> to

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> our

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> house after school to play with my son and the therapist

that

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> works with

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> him. I'm wondering if they will even come over now. Any

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>> encouragement

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>> would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Jerri

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>> Responsibility for the content of this message lies strictly

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>> with

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>> the original author(s), and is not necessarily endorsed by

or

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>> the

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>> opinion of the Research Institute, the Parent

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>> Coalition, or the list moderator(s).

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

[Guest guest]

Jerri,

I feel so bad for what you are going through with your son. Been there and done

that and my heart breaks for the fear and frustration you are feeling. The one

thing I have learned over the years is that no one knows my son like I do. And

you need to trust your gut and instincts. If there is a medical problem, then

you need to keep calling Dr. G and asking for help until he gets tired of

hearing from you. It is not that he doesn't want to help, it is that he has so

many patients he is trying to help that sometimes some of the details get

overlooked. On my consults, I even say to Dr. G, I don't think that is a good

idea and I was wondering if we could try this. If he doesn't agree, I say it not

as nicely. Dr. G is only human and has a large caseload. Also he is not there

with this kid day in and day out like you are. There is no one more medically

competent to help your child or more skilled than he is, but at times you need

to help him help your kid.

As far as the detention goes, sometimes we need to hurt our kids to help them.

I guarantee that your son will never do this again. I think one day of

detention would have been sufficient, though. I remember when was little

he played with one little girl he adored. It was always at our house and I was

the one to do everything, so her mom would allow her to come over. This child

always had fun at my house (mostly from all the attention I gave her because

back then wasn't too fun to play with). It was great for her mom because

she would get a break and never have to reciprocate. Anyway, one day I picked

her up to go sledding with and me. When it was time for her to drop her

off at home, started screaming and having a major meltdown because he

didn't want her to leave. After that, the little girl no longer wanted to play

with . At first I wasn't going to tell him about why she didn't want to

come over because I wanted to protect his feelings, but then I realized that

wasn't really helping . I told him that the little girl wouldn't be coming

over to play anymore because he screamed and acted bad when it was time for her

to go home and now she doesn't want to play with him anymore.

He and I cried together, but it was a turning point for us. I no longer tried

to protect him from the world and let him feel the consequences of bad behavior.

This was a major step in making him join the rest of the world. Our best

intentions is to protect our own children and at times we must protect them from

bullies and the difficulties they face as a result of the autism. But if they

are too protected, they don't learn what is appropriate and expected. When they

are little and still cute people excuse their weird behavior, but when they get

older this no longer applies. Use this as a learning lesson with your son. Ask

him how he could have done things differently to avoid detention. And most

importantly, have a good cry and pick yourself up and start again. You are your

son's only hope. Only a parent would keep doing this and all the things we have

to do to help their children get better. Call if you need to vent!!! Unlike

most of your friends (if you have any left after all you have to do for your

child) I do get it.

Marcia

805 497-8202