Re: Potty training - changing expectations during meds

[Guest guest]

Hi Cheryl -

Just something to think about while you're getting

started ... if you're unsure of how something

med-wise, food-wise, illness-wise, etc, is affecting

your child, be sure to give extra patience, hugs and

cuddles, but try very hard not to stop a routine

during any rough spot, don't slack on discipline

(especially the positive kind, though minimize the

'fussing'), don't allow regressions in taking care of

themselves. I have made the mistakes of doing this

(especially when I'm sick as well), and I am paying

for it now.

Consistency and discipline is critical. Our kids are

going to have so many ups and downs, and our own

doubts will bite us in the rear if we try to make

allowances while our kids are having a hard time.

Every time I let either of my boys stop doing anything

(or otherwise lower my expectations of them) during a

problem period, I end up with problems. I'm not

kidding. A nauseous kid being allowed to skip the

meat for 2 days and eat graham crackers or bread only

(and not much of that either) suddenly attempts to

refuse all meats for the next 2 weeks ( " Oh wow - I

simply refuse the meat, and she'll eventually feed me

what I want " ) ... and although it hasn't worked since

those two days. Eventually he had to go to time out

until he caught on that it wasn't happening again, but

he has still cut out 50% of his already limited diet

since that time, and I have to accept that sensory

problems have certainly been exacerbated ... but I

can't not discipline him for refusing foods despite

the fact that I truly believe that he finds them

repulsive right now.

Of course, my NT child is the same way ... it's just

easier to 'put him back on track' when he's well. But

after a 5 mo period of CFIDS, he has lost quite a few

of his positive habits, and I am having to re-teach

discipline, self-reliance, and initiative. He got

used to me doing certain things for him that I would

never do for a 5yr old child, and he currently has no

desire to do anything for himself, even though now I

feel he has sufficient energy to do so since the end

of September.

Small example - there were times he was too tired to

go get a drink, so I would bring it to him, and

occasionally when he was really crashing, I'd hold it

for him to take a sip and put it back down. I'm

telling you this child was really sick ... but now, he

will call me from another room and say " I'm thirsty "

when there is a drink right at the table, and he is

too lazy to get up and get it himself ... thinks I'm

supposed to bring it to him. Gasp! How did I manage

to do this?? Initially, I didn't even realize what I

was doing after he started getting better but I kept

on bringing things to him instead of his being

required to come to me for what he wants. I created

myself into the role of servant.

I guess all I'm trying to say (while I ramble on and

show what a lousy disciplinarian I am , is make

every effort to keep the same expectations in every

way you are able to, adding in extra time, lots of

patience, etc... but have tons of compassion.

It's only my suggestion, because of the kinds of

problems I've run into and wonder how I managed to

allow it. Someone better organized and more aware

than I am could probably get away w/it and their kids

not take complete and total advantage of them when

they do.

HTH-

--- Cheryl Lowrance <c.lowrance@...> wrote:

> I'm slowly working on potty training with my 3 year

> old and I'm

> wondering if I should stop worrying too much about

> it until after the

> die off of valtrex and diflucan. Any thoughts on

> this? I'm not in a

> hurry and he is slowly getting it. I've kind of

> stopped already

> since he's been sick and we won't start the valtrex

> until after he's

> feeling better and we won't start the diflucan until

> about 3 weeks

> after that. So I'm kind of thinking about just

> letting it go for

> now. He does understand that potty and will use it

> when naked but

> when he's in diapers or underwear he doesn't get

> that he can still go

> to the potty. He's getting there slowly and I

> really don't want to

> push too hard if it's something that I should just

> wait on to make it

> easier for him.

>

> cheryl

>

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