Re: My son's medicines/ discipline in school/ home

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

We also use time out with our son ( 7 yrs. old) and it works very well. He's

mainstreaming in a typical first grade and in the second grade sp. ed. class

in school and they use time out for behaviors all the time.

Before going to the reg. ed. classroom in the morning his sp. ed. teacher

will have choose an earn ( this is something that he gets to have or do

after SUCCESSFULLY participating in the first grade classroom ).

It's either written on a post-it or a picture card and placed in his

schedule folder. If he misbehaves, for example, flops on the floor, uses a

loud voice, calls out, or my least favorite behavior the dreaded " video

talk " he loses his earn.

But, he gets many chances to try again during the day. They try to always

keep it positive for the kids. When he loses the earn his teacher says

nothing, just removes the visual from the folder. He always asks to try

again and he immediately gets to start over, it just takes longer.

If he hits or gets physical with a child or staff, his teacher will calmly

remove him, and he is placed in time out. This is for 30 seconds at the

most, and he cannot go back to the classroom until the next period.

He goes to the sp. ed. classroom and completes his work there. He doesn't

get to try again for that earn, it's removed from the folder and he is told

in a firm way exactly why.

He usually loses his favorite thing at the moment for the rest of the day.

Lately he been requesting to earn his V-Smile Pocket for 5 minutes or a

video for 10 minutes at the end of the day. This is huge to him if he loses

these in school, because his teacher writes to me, and he also loses them at

home for the night.

This type of discipline works very well for my son and the other children in

school . The teachers also put their mommy faces on ( a very stern look,

making sure to have eye contact) when the kids misbehave, this works very

well.

My son hates it when someone is unhappy with him. He would rather be yelled

at or spanked than looked at it a stern way and not spoken to. If I ignore

him due to a very bad behavior (hitting, screaming) after his time out, he's

heartbroken.

He usually follows me around and tells me to talk to him, I know this sounds

awful ,but we have to take a hard line with aggressive behaviors. I want

these to go away completely so I can't afford to play games when he hits or

screams in my face.

After a few minutes I calmly talk to him and try to end it on a positive

note by telling him that he's a good boy and that I understand that he made

a poor choice but he needs to make better choices , I give him examples of

better choices, then it's forgotten about ,and we go on with our day.

( I will say, I used to get my roots colored every six weeks, but after this

child, I'm on the three week schehule !! )

Using this method , the behaviors are way down to less than one a day. Of

course, we allow for illness and also transition periods, the beginning of

the school year or a move to a new classroom, but for the most part, this

behavior plan stays consistent.

I hope this helps, take good care,

>From: Caroline Glover <sfglover@...>

>Reply-

>< >

>Subject: Re: My son's medicines

>Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 03:57:21 -0400

>

>Jerri,

>

>Considering that these kids are developmentally behind for their age, he

>might not be too old for a time out.

>

>They work really well at our house on my 6-year old... he is told to " go

>have a time out " ... I keep discussion short... " You hit your sister... time

>out! " . If he is oppositional I will say " If you don't do the time out now

>you won't be able to watch your video, " (or whatever). He also loses the

>privilege if he refuses to stay in the time out.

>

>He goes to the place we have specified for time outs and sits there for one

>minute for each year of his age... I set a timer (you could shorten it

>because 9 minutes is a long time). When the timer goes off, I go sit down

>beside him and ask him if he remembers why he had the time out... sometimes

>he forgets! We briefly discuss why he had the time out, he is required to

>apologize to the person he offended if that is needed (he is so sweet about

>this because usually by the end of the time out he is calmed down and

>genuinely sorry). Then he goes on his merry way.

>

>Works wonders. It gives him a chance to cool down. He HATES the time out,

>but loves the discussion afterwards (go figure)... maybe because he's so

>happy the time out is over.

>

>It's wonderful that your son is usually so compliant. My little guy was

>too

>until his seizures started. For a couple of years he was a real trial but

>he's getting back to the boy I knew. Oh, how I missed him!

>

>Caroline

>

>

> > From: Jerri Gann <njgann@...>

> > Reply-< >

> > Date: Sun, 08 Oct 2006 20:11:50 -0700

> > < >

> > Subject: Re: My son's medicines

> >

> > Thanks again. I have never used a time out. He is 9 so I don't know if

> > it's too late now. He has always been my overly compliant son, doing

> > what everyone wanted. He wants to make everyone happy (and laugh). So in

> > some ways I guess this is good. We have taken away things he really

> > wants. Nothing has worked so I resorted to the spank. Yikes! I think

> > right now he can't help a lot of things so I'm just going to keep him

> > home, pray Dr G gets me some help quick and yes get him some homework

> > and lots to do because he has told me he just wants to stay home so this

> > is going to seem like a reward! I am going to take him to the lab in the

> > morning which he hates so maybe it won't be so fun for awhile. Thanks,

>Jerri

>

>