Re: Potty Training- Need advice

[Guest guest]

There is very likely some sensory issue that is makes going in the

potty unpleasant for him...or it could be that he just wants to

continue to be " the baby " and have you attend to him. That's a big

issue with my son! Have you tried a reward system with him? When

we were training our son, we would give him a the Tank Engine

sticker every time he went through the potty routine correctly. We

had a chart posted next to the toilet; it was a row of squares, each

labeled with a day of the week. In the last square, there was a

picture of a character toy that he wanted. We put stickers on

the chart every day that he used the potty correctly, and at the end

of a week, he got his toy. We figured it would take a couple of weeks

at least, but as it turned out, it took only one week.

Hope that helps.

Donna

>

> My son is 6 year-old and seems to resist potty training. He would not

> agree to try. He can sit on the toilet (read books), he can feel when

> he is wet/dirty (he will change himself when he is wet), he can

> control his bladder (he is often running naked and will always put a

> pull-up before peeing), he can tell when he needs a change (will tell

> some of the time and will answer correctly on other times) and knows

> the toilet routine well (taking off pull-up, flushing, washing hands

> etc.) the only problem is that he will not go on the potty, and it

> seems that he does not want to do it. We do not know what to do. Any

> advice?

> Dganit

>

[Guest guest]

We were in the same situation with one of mine at age 5 and I finally just

said... " We are running out out of diapers... when we run out you'll have to

go on the potty but you can still wear a pull-up at night. " For some

reason, he did not question that. He had NO interest in going on the potty.

We " ran out " and I covered my sofa in plastic, rolled up my oriental carpets

and got out my Bissell Spotlifter (possibly the greatest appliance ever

invented) ... I put him in thick sweatpants and tucked the legs into his

socks. Then I let him have accident after accident until he got it figured

out (of course helping him change into dry things after each accident). It

did not take as long as I feared. I used some of the strategies from the

book " Toilet Training in Less than a Day " (I like some of their ideas but

had no hope of doing it in a day with my son, although my daughter did) such

as doing " drills " where we'd be at one place in the house and I'd say

" O.K... You're here sitting on the sofa and you feel like --------- (fill in

the blank with your " family " word for these things) is going to come out.

What do you do?

Then we would go through the WHOLE routine of going to the bathroom, pulling

down pants, sitting on the potty, wiping, flushing, washing hands, etc. He

would complain, but I would sort of just drag/hurry him through it and cheer

him on, telling him what a great job he was doing. We did this multiple

times from different locations for days and days (about as often as I

thought he could stand). Then finally he actually WENT in the toilet. We

made a really big deal over that.

We would also do the drills when he had an accident. We would start where

he had the accident and practice what he should have done from that point.

He didn't enjoy the drills but he wasn't too miserable and I just really

tried to be positive and tell him how great it was to go on the toilet, how

much better he would feel not having wet or soiled pants, etc.

It may be that he figured out that it was just a lot less trouble for him to

just go ahead and go than do a zillion drills a day. After the initial

success things went more quickly, but it was not an instant success. The

B.M. part was the hardest for him to figure out...

There is a lot of planning that has to happen for a child to think through

making it to the potty, so even though it is hard, be cheerful.

Another thing that book recommends is spending a whole day in the bathroom

with your child... make it really fun... give them AS MUCH of whatever their

favorite drink is to help them have lots of practice. I can't remember all

of the specifics, but I didn't have anyone to watch my other kids so I

couldn't do that, plus I couldn't give mine tons to drink because he has

seizures and that could have messed up his levels of medication and caused

problems. Actually, I wouldn't do that without checking with Dr. G first

because of the other meds our kids are on.

I did promise our little guy a car he wanted for his " the Tank

Engine " track once he had gone a certain period with no accidents. I don't

think that was what motivated him, though. He hates stickers and he had no

interest in little charts...

I know one big family that says they have the perfect potty training

technique... they let their kids run around naked until they get it down.

Then they have their carpets cleaned. That is honestly what they have done.

They have all girls, though, and gravity makes it a little more unpleasant

for girls to wet themselves. I'm not sure this would work with boys... I

keep thinking of that cute statue in Brussels... anyway...

One other thing is that it might be a good idea to keep his undies in the

bathroom so that he has to head in there anyway to change his pants. He

might just decide it's easier to just go on the toilet than change his

pants.

There are also " toilet targets " to make it fun for little boys to learn to

aim (just do a google search and you'll find several suppliers). If Daddy

would model hitting a target it might look really fun to try! I didn't do

this because I wanted my son to learn sitting down first since unfortunately

our bathroom is carpeted. Then the other problem is that they have to learn

to sit down for B.M.s, so for me it was just easier to teach one way for

both at first.

Well, that's all I can think of. That being said, every child is different

and what works for one may not work for another. Having potty trained 3

boys, I'm feeling your pain. It just seems to be a lot harder for boys to

get the hang of the whole routine than girls. Best of luck to you!

Caroline

P.S. You might want to check some books on this topic out of the library...

you might find some good ideas.

[Guest guest]

Hi -

It sounds like my son did... he was so accustomed to

diapers and the potty was scary. Diapers work, so why

in the world change it? I spoke to him about " one

day, when you start using the potty like mommy and

daddy, you won't have to feel that yucky poop anymore,

or yucky wet " , etc. You're son has the routine down

so well, that is what he is used to, knows and

understands, and has mastered. If you can think of a

way to throw a kink in the routine..

In the end, I have no advice. I let his school do it!

lol. Kidding aside, he was in special ed preschool

for a few weeks when he was 4 almost 5, and seriously,

they trained him in less than 3 weeks. I was so

ashamed of myself, but it made a big difference (they

said) in the fact that it was different people, so it

made it less likely he would resist and struggle for

the sameness. They used the reward system like Donna

suggested, and simply sat him on the potty at regular

times. Different people doing it (as well as a

different environment and child-sized potty) made all

the difference for him.

Is your son in school at this time? Is there a

grandparent or other family who can take him for a day

without diapers and see if he can go for someone else?

You could choose a day (or weekend) and remove access

to diapers/pull-ups, have a very special treat

available, and say " Now it's " potty only " day, and 1 & 2

goes in the potty, not the diapers today. If you

think he wouldn't understand that, you could stage

another similar day where something different (and

easier) is done, with a special treat at the end of

that day, and then when he succeeds with that, build

up the potty-only day with a reward when he 'goes' in

the potty the first time.

My second child only stopped using pull-ups at night

after I let him wet the bed for a straight week, and

it finally dawned on me the last 2 days that I had to

make him change his own clothes when he did. He

quickly got tired of changing his pants himself and

stopped wetting the bed (unless he's getting a sinus

infection). I had been making it too easy for him and

allowing the pullups until he started staying dry, but

it just didn't work that way. I had to pull away the

diapers and then he had to go.

I guess that's enough " advice " from someone who did

not succeed herself the first time around! But it

was ideas I was given and did try that could still

work for someone else.

Hope that helps.

--- ganitu <tuvals@...> wrote:

> My son is 6 year-old and seems to resist potty

> training. He would not

> agree to try. He can sit on the toilet (read books),

> he can feel when

> he is wet/dirty (he will change himself when he is

> wet), he can

> control his bladder (he is often running naked and

> will always put a

> pull-up before peeing), he can tell when he needs a

> change (will tell

> some of the time and will answer correctly on other

> times) and knows

> the toilet routine well (taking off pull-up,

> flushing, washing hands

> etc.) the only problem is that he will not go on the

> potty, and it

> seems that he does not want to do it. We do not know

> what to do. Any

> advice?

> Dganit

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I have some advice. I figured this out with the third child. THROW

AWAY THE PULLUPS! I threw them away so I would not be tempted to use

them and only used regular underwear. After having some accidents,

going in the underwear started getting uncomfortable so he would just

hold it until I took him. This took a few days but was totally worth

it. I put regular underwear on him at night too. It is a hastle

when you are doing it but they potty train so fast that way. I potty

trained my baby who was 22 months during this same time I was potty

training the four year old and she potty trained in a few days.

After a couple of weeks there were no acccidents. My first child had

the pullups and I tried to potty train for a year with those things

and when I threw them away she got potty trained, so I knew from

experience. Once you go to the regular underwear, don't go back. Kris

On Mar 4, 2006, at 9:37 PM, wrote:

> Hi -

>

> It sounds like my son did... he was so accustomed to

> diapers and the potty was scary. Diapers work, so why

> in the world change it? I spoke to him about " one

> day, when you start using the potty like mommy and

> daddy, you won't have to feel that yucky poop anymore,

> or yucky wet " , etc. You're son has the routine down

> so well, that is what he is used to, knows and

> understands, and has mastered. If you can think of a

> way to throw a kink in the routine..

>

> In the end, I have no advice. I let his school do it!

> lol. Kidding aside, he was in special ed preschool

> for a few weeks when he was 4 almost 5, and seriously,

> they trained him in less than 3 weeks. I was so

> ashamed of myself, but it made a big difference (they

> said) in the fact that it was different people, so it

> made it less likely he would resist and struggle for

> the sameness. They used the reward system like Donna

> suggested, and simply sat him on the potty at regular

> times. Different people doing it (as well as a

> different environment and child-sized potty) made all

> the difference for him.

> Is your son in school at this time? Is there a

> grandparent or other family who can take him for a day

> without diapers and see if he can go for someone else?

>

> You could choose a day (or weekend) and remove access

> to diapers/pull-ups, have a very special treat

> available, and say " Now it's " potty only " day, and 1 & 2

> goes in the potty, not the diapers today. If you

> think he wouldn't understand that, you could stage

> another similar day where something different (and

> easier) is done, with a special treat at the end of

> that day, and then when he succeeds with that, build

> up the potty-only day with a reward when he 'goes' in

> the potty the first time.

>

> My second child only stopped using pull-ups at night

> after I let him wet the bed for a straight week, and

> it finally dawned on me the last 2 days that I had to

> make him change his own clothes when he did. He

> quickly got tired of changing his pants himself and

> stopped wetting the bed (unless he's getting a sinus

> infection). I had been making it too easy for him and

> allowing the pullups until he started staying dry, but

> it just didn't work that way. I had to pull away the

> diapers and then he had to go.

>

> I guess that's enough " advice " from someone who did

> not succeed herself the first time around! But it

> was ideas I was given and did try that could still

> work for someone else.

>

> Hope that helps.

>

>

>

> --- ganitu <tuvals@...> wrote:

>

> > My son is 6 year-old and seems to resist potty

> > training. He would not

> > agree to try. He can sit on the toilet (read books),

> > he can feel when

> > he is wet/dirty (he will change himself when he is

> > wet), he can

> > control his bladder (he is often running naked and

> > will always put a

> > pull-up before peeing), he can tell when he needs a

> > change (will tell

> > some of the time and will answer correctly on other

> > times) and knows

> > the toilet routine well (taking off pull-up,

> > flushing, washing hands

> > etc.) the only problem is that he will not go on the

> > potty, and it

> > seems that he does not want to do it. We do not know

> > what to do. Any

> > advice?

> > Dganit

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I have to throw in that I agree with Kristy on the throw away the pull-ups

idea... they are too comfortable!

We did have to keep them at night for a while though. I have an older child

(11) who goes through phases of bedwetting every time we increase his SSRI

and we have to understand that they can't always control what's happening in

when they're asleep. As a parent you have to try to determine if it's just

laziness or sleeping very deeply (and missing the signals) that is causing

the problem. I agree on the child getting up and taking care of themselves

(getting dry pants, etc.) if they are able.

From a perspective, removing milk from one of my kid's diets literally

stopped his bedwetting overnight and for good. That's a little secret they

tell you to try if you pay the expensive bedwetting consultant to come to

your house. Fortunately we got the advice for free from someone who had

(bless her heart) paid the big bucks. That's when we put the whole family

on the diet.

OK... I'm going to bed

Caroline

[Guest guest]

Hi, I'm in the same boat. My six year old girl gets the whole toilet

thing conceptually and is very proud when she goes on the toilet,

but

will not become fully trained. I know that it's laziness (some of

it

mine). But there is more to it (stubborness and lack of

communication). So while I agree with the others who say to throw

away

the pull ups - definitely the smartest thing to do - that was not a

route I was willing to take or thought would work the best. So I

agree with on letting the school take over. And yes I feel

terrible about it too, but it's working. She responds much better

to

the training at school than at home. As soon as she gets there they

take off her pull up and put on her " big girl underwear " and she is

taken to the toilet at regular intervals. There's also the added

bonus of see other kids go to the toilet to prompt them. She is now

getting really

good at independantly requesting the toilet and Friday was the first

day with no accidents at all. So for now at home, I'm still be

lazy,

since she is still fighting me. I'm going to give it another week

to

see if she continues to be accident free at school and then it'll be

big girl underwear at home too. Hopefully it will work here. So if

you son's school offers potty training I recommend it. 's

right that they sometimes respond better to other people (they can't

manipulate them as well as they do us). My daughter

is happier doing it this way and " they " say you should not make this

a

traumatic thing for them. Anyway you choose, he'll get it

eventually. Good Luck!

>

> My son is 6 year-old and seems to resist potty training. He would

not

> agree to try. He can sit on the toilet (read books), he can feel

when

> he is wet/dirty (he will change himself when he is wet), he can

> control his bladder (he is often running naked and will always put

a

> pull-up before peeing), he can tell when he needs a change (will

tell

> some of the time and will answer correctly on other times) and

knows

> the toilet routine well (taking off pull-up, flushing, washing

hands

> etc.) the only problem is that he will not go on the potty, and it

> seems that he does not want to do it. We do not know what to do.

Any

> advice?

> Dganit

>

[Guest guest]

my son was 4 before he decided that it was time, but he was also

going to a pre-school and he was the only who was not potty trained

so actually in this case peer pressure helped. Is there any way for your

son to start going to school? If already going talk with his teachers it

might help.

Bekki

ganitu <tuvals@...> wrote:

My son is 6 year-old and seems to resist potty training. He would not

agree to try. He can sit on the toilet (read books), he can feel when

he is wet/dirty (he will change himself when he is wet), he can

control his bladder (he is often running naked and will always put a

pull-up before peeing), he can tell when he needs a change (will tell

some of the time and will answer correctly on other times) and knows

the toilet routine well (taking off pull-up, flushing, washing hands

etc.) the only problem is that he will not go on the potty, and it

seems that he does not want to do it. We do not know what to do. Any

advice?

Dganit

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