*** 10 Ways to Love Yourself by Louise

[Guest guest]

1) " Probably the most important key is to stop criticizing

yourself. If we tell ourselves that we are okay, no matter what is

going on, we can make changes in our lives easily. It is when we

make ourselves bad that we have great difficulty. We all change -----

everyone. Every day is a new day, and we do things a little

differently than we did the day before. Our ability to adapt and

flow with the process of life is our power.

Those who have come from dysfunctional homes often have become

super-responsible and have gotten in the habit of judging themselves

unmercifully. They have grown up amidst tension and anxiety. The

message they get as children of dysfunctional homes is: " There must

be something wrong with me. " Think for a moment about the words you

use when scolding yourself. Some of the phrases people tell me are:

stupid, bad boy, bad girl, useless, careless, dumb, ugly, worthless,

sloppy, dirty, etc. Are these the same words you use now when

describing yourself?

There is a tremendous need to build self-worth and value in

ourselves, because when we feel not good enough, we find ways to

keep ourselves miserable. We create illness or pain in our bodies;

we procrastinate about things that would benefit us; we mistreat our

bodies with food, alcohol, and drugs.

We are all insecure in some ways because we are human. Let us

learn NOT to pretend that we are perfect. Having to be perfect only

puts immense pressure on ourselves, & it prevents us from looking at

areas of our lives that need healing. Instead, we could discover our

creative distinctions, our individualities, & appreciate ourselves

for the qualities that set us apart from others. Each one of us has

a unique role to play on this earth, and when we are critical of

ourselves, we obscure it. "

2) " We must also stop scaring ourselves. Many of us terrorize

ourselves with frightful thoughts & make situations worse than they

are. We take a small problem and make it into a big monster. It's a

terrible way to live, always expecting the worst out of life.

Examples: Someone makes a remark at work, and you begin to think

you're going to be fired. You build these paralyzing thoughts in

your mind. Remember, these frightening thoughts are negative

affirmations. OR, people who are ill often visualize the worst or

they are immediately planning their funerals. OR, someone doesn't

call you immediately, and you decide that you are totally unlovable

and you'll never have another relationship again, feeling abandoned

and rejected.

If you find yourself habitually reviewing a negative thought

or situation in your mind, find an image of something you really

would like to replace it with. It could be a beautiful view, or a

sunset, or flowers, a sport, or anything you love. Use that image as

your switch-to image every time you find that you are scaring

yourself. Say to yourself, " No, I'm not going to think about that

anymore. I'm going to think about sunsets, roses, Paris, yachts or

waterfalls, or whatever your image is. " If you keep doing this,

eventually you will break the habit. "

3) " Another way is to be gentle and kind and patient with

yourself. Impatience is a resistance to learning. We want the

answers without learning the lesson or doing the steps that are

necessary. Think of your mind as if it were a garden. If you take

loving care and attention to this garden, it gradually keeps

improving and will blossom. The same with your mind --- you select

the thoughts that will nurtured, & with patience they grow and

contribute to creating the garden of experiences you want. "

4) " We must learn to be kind to our minds. Let's not hate

ourselves for having negative thoughts. We can think of our thoughts

as building us up rather than beating us up. We don't have to blame

ourselves for negative experiences, but can learn from these

experiences. Being kind to ourselves means we stop all blame, all

guilt, all punishment, and all pain. Relaxation is absolutely

necessary for tapping into the Power within, because if you are

tense & frightened, you shut off your energy. As you become tense,

take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and release whatever

tension you are carrying. As you exhale, become centered & say to

yourself silently: " I love you. All is Well. " You will then notice

how much calmer you feel. "

5) " The next step is to praise yourself. Criticism breaks down

the inner spirit, and praise builds it up. When you berate yourself,

you belittle the Power that created you. Begin with little things. "

6) " Loving yourself means supporting yourself. Reach out to

friends and allow them to help you. You really are being strong when

you ask for help when you need it. Support groups can help, like 12

step-groups. "

7) " Love your negatives. No matter what negative situation you

are in, it's there for a reason; otherwise you wouldn't have it in

your life. "

8) " Take care of your body. " Drug and alcohol abuse, overeating,

and smoking are just some of the substances we take into our bodies

to numb out the pain, and deal with life better. But, the sad fact

is that it doesn't help make it better. Take care of yourself,

exercise regularly so your body can help support you in whatever

comes your way.

9) " I often emphasize the importance of mirror work in order to

find out the cause of an issue that keeps us from loving ourselves.

Try looking in the mirror the first thing in the morning and say, " I

love you. What can I do for you today? How can I make you happy? "

Listen to your inner voice, and start following through with what

you hear. Then, if something unpleasant happens to you during the

day, go to the mirror and say: " I love you anyway. "

Affirmations performed in front of a mirror are advantageous

because you learn the truth of your existence. When you do an

affirmation and you immediately hear a negative response such

as, " Who are you kidding? It can't be true. You don't deserve that " ,

that is a gift you can use. You cannot make the changes you want

until you are willing to see what is holding you back. The negative

response you have just discovered is like a gift in that it becomes

the key to freedom. Turn that negative response into a positive

affirmation such as: " I now deserve all good. I allow good

experiences to fill my life. " Repeat the new affirmation until it

does become a new part of your life. "

10) " Finally, love yourself now -- don't wait until you get it

right. Dissatisfaction with yourself is a habit pattern. If you can

be satisfied with yourself now, if you can love and approve of

yourself now, then when good comes into your life, you will be able

to enjoy it. Once you learn to love yourself, you can begin to love

and accept other people. We can't change other people, so leave them

alone. "

This lesson was written by Louise L. Hay, in her book called " The

Power is Within You " published by Hay House, Inc.

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