English as it appears around the world

[Guest guest]

> > People in non-English speaking countries sometimes go out of their way

to

> > communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of

signs

> > written in English, seen around the world.

> >

> > Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN

THE

> > BAR.

> >

> > At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY

> > SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

> >

> > Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

> >

> > Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED

> > HERE.

> >

> > Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES

AND

> > HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL

> > YOURSELF.

> >

> > Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT,

TOOTLE

> > THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES

YOUR

> > PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

> >

> > In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT

TO

> > SEE THE MANAGER.

> >

> > On the grounds of a private school: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

> >

> > On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER,

> > THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

> >

> > On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN

> > HELP.

> >

> > In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

> >

> > One of the Mathare buildings: MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.

> >

> > A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH

WET

> > HANDS.

> >

> > In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

> >

> > In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT

> > THEIR OWN GRAVES.

> >

> > Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE

OR

> > DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

> >

> > On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE

> > FOR.

> >

> > In a Tokyo bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

> >

> > In a Bangkok temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER

IF

> > DRESSED AS A MAN.

> >

> > Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand: PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS

> > INTO YOUR ROOM.

> >

> > Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND

SOLITUDE.

> > IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS

SOLITUDE.

> >

> > Hotel lobby, Bucharest: THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY.

DURING

> > THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

> >

> > Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

> >

> > Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB

> > OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

> >

> > Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

> >

> > In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

> > YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET

> > COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

> >

> > Hotel catering to skiers, Austria: NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN

> > THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.

> >

> > Taken from a menu, Poland: SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE LIMPID RED BEET SOUP

> > WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE

BEEF

> > RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.

> >

> > Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS,

> > EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

> >

> > >From the " Soviet Weekly " : THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY

> > 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER

> > THE PAST TWO YEARS.

> >

> > In an East African newspaper: A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING

SHAPE

> > SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

> >

> > Hotel, Vienna: IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL

PORTER.

> >

> >

> > A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON

OUR

> > BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE,

MEN

> > AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH

> > OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

> >

> > Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE

> > OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR

> > THIS PURPOSE.

> >

> > An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST

> > METHODISTS.

> >

> > A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE

> > AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

> >

> > Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY

TOURS.

> > WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

> >

> > Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON

YOUR

> > OWN ASS?

> >

> > The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: GUARANTEED TO WORK

> > THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

> >

> > In a Swiss mountain inn: SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

> >

> > Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN

ALL

> > DIRECTIONS.

> >

> > On the door of a Moscow hotel room: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE

> > USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.