Re: Need help with behavior

[Guest guest]

Have you looked into antivirals? Have you considered switching to

the protocol since he hasn't responded to DAN? I'm sorry to

hear that your are going through a divorce. Where are you moving to?

Cheryl

On Apr 20, 2008, at 11:20 AM, Montgomery wrote:

> Hello Listmates:

>

> I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband is filing for

> divorce and my children and I will have to move in with my parents

> approximately 1000 miles from where we currently live. I was unable to

> obtain an education since I had to stay at home to care for our

> sick son and

> therefore cannot afford our home. Anyway, my son’s behavior has

> always been

> really bad. He has been on Adderall for four years and we have tried

> Strattera and natural alternatives with little luck. He is GF/CF

> and has

> been for 10+ months now and a few months ago I removed IGG issues.

> After all

> of this his ATEC score has not improved in at least 6 months and his

> outbursts, aggression and noncompliance is just more than I can

> handle alone

> and with housing about to get tight I am looking for any help. He

> doesn’t

> listen well so I have never been able to handle him in public or

> even around

> the neighborhood. I am willing to talk to a doctor about other

> prescription

> options since none of the natural approaches have really helped. Any

> suggestions welcomed!

> TIA,

>

> ville, Florida

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have thought about antivirals. We tried Valtrex for 6 weeks until seizures

started after having gone almost 3 years seizure free. I did just start my

son on Lysine this week because I seemed to respond to it. I have yet to see

anything in him that I saw in me. I began to get 'flu like symptoms' within

hours and within days I had developed pink eye. Anyway, we will be moving to

St. Louis in June when the school year is over. With little to no income it

will be very difficult to try to do any protocols anymore.

Re: Need help with behavior

Have you looked into antivirals? Have you considered switching to

the protocol since he hasn't responded to DAN? I'm sorry to

hear that your are going through a divorce. Where are you moving to?

Cheryl

On Apr 20, 2008, at 11:20 AM, Montgomery wrote:

> Hello Listmates:

>

> I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband is filing for

> divorce and my children and I will have to move in with my parents

> approximately 1000 miles from where we currently live. I was unable to

> obtain an education since I had to stay at home to care for our

> sick son and

> therefore cannot afford our home. Anyway, my son’s behavior has

> always been

> really bad. He has been on Adderall for four years and we have tried

> Strattera and natural alternatives with little luck. He is GF/CF

> and has

> been for 10+ months now and a few months ago I removed IGG issues.

> After all

> of this his ATEC score has not improved in at least 6 months and his

> outbursts, aggression and noncompliance is just more than I can

> handle alone

> and with housing about to get tight I am looking for any help. He

> doesn’t

> listen well so I have never been able to handle him in public or

> even around

> the neighborhood. I am willing to talk to a doctor about other

> prescription

> options since none of the natural approaches have really helped. Any

> suggestions welcomed!

> TIA,

>

> ville, Florida

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a divorce. I went through this

three years ago in which I moved from Europe to Ohio with two boys on the

spectrum. I moved in with my mother. It was very difficult and I didn't know how

my family would react to seeing the children (and with their behaviours). The

last time they saw them, they were developing normally and they thought I was

exaggerating about their autism. It was a terrible shock for them and it was

difficult for my children (a huge change and no more daddy). I don't have any

good advise but just want to let you know to hang in there and it will get

better. Regarding their behaviours, my non- advise is to please try your

best to stay positive around your children (they sense stress) and do not

discuss marital problems in front of your children (this can be very difficult,

trust me). You may also want to get some help in writing social stories for the

huge adjustment. One more thing, PLEASE try to find a

way to pamper yourself.

All the best,

Jill

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Boy- what a bummer! I can totally relate. I am divorced with three

children and two of them .

Hang in there! You are doing the right thing by taking care of

yourself and moving back with your parents. I had a dose of that

humble pie, too.

Have you thought of contacting Dr. Goldberg...this sounds like a case

that is right up his alley. I have a child that was on similar meds

and, as it turned out, it was viral as well as allergy related. One

of my children would cry excessively and pick at his skin until it

looked like he had been grazed by a bullet. With Valtrex and

Fluconazole as well as blood work to screen for allergens in foods,

they have made a complete 180.

It is amazing how much foods can affect our children- especially if

they are sensitive to cows milk, gluten or whatever maybe a trigger

that causes some of the behaviors.

Just an idea.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you! I know where you are

emotionally right now and it really bites...but, I promise it will

get better.

>

> Hello Listmates:

>

> I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband is filing

for

> divorce and my children and I will have to move in with my parents

> approximately 1000 miles from where we currently live. I was unable

to

> obtain an education since I had to stay at home to care for our

sick son and

> therefore cannot afford our home. Anyway, my son's behavior has

always been

> really bad. He has been on Adderall for four years and we have tried

> Strattera and natural alternatives with little luck. He is GF/CF

and has

> been for 10+ months now and a few months ago I removed IGG issues.

After all

> of this his ATEC score has not improved in at least 6 months and his

> outbursts, aggression and noncompliance is just more than I can

handle alone

> and with housing about to get tight I am looking for any help. He

doesn't

> listen well so I have never been able to handle him in public or

even around

> the neighborhood. I am willing to talk to a doctor about other

prescription

> options since none of the natural approaches have really helped. Any

> suggestions welcomed!

> TIA,

>

> ville, Florida

>

[Guest guest]

Are you currently in ville, or is that where you are moving? There are

many board-certified behaviorists in the bacb list in ville.

www.bacb.com If you're moving somewhere else, go to this website and insert

your new city name or zip code to find a qualified behavioral consultant near

you to help with the behaviors.

Good luck!

Heidi

-------------- Original message --------------

From: " Montgomery " <gmontg@...>

Hello Listmates:

I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband is filing for

divorce and my children and I will have to move in with my parents

approximately 1000 miles from where we currently live. I was unable to

obtain an education since I had to stay at home to care for our sick son and

therefore cannot afford our home. Anyway, my son’s behavior has always been

really bad. He has been on Adderall for four years and we have tried

Strattera and natural alternatives with little luck. He is GF/CF and has

been for 10+ months now and a few months ago I removed IGG issues. After all

of this his ATEC score has not improved in at least 6 months and his

outbursts, aggression and noncompliance is just more than I can handle alone

and with housing about to get tight I am looking for any help. He doesn’t

listen well so I have never been able to handle him in public or even around

the neighborhood. I am willing to talk to a doctor about other prescription

options since none of the natural approaches have really helped. Any

suggestions welcomed!

TIA,

ville, Florida

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

You will be in my prayers as you make this huge adjustment in your life. I

have a child who has had some really aggressive and rageful behavior--I know

where you are at. Like most everyone has said please keep a positive

attitude--be honest with your children about what is happening without talking

badly about your spouse. But enough of that--what really helped us out with our

child's behavior is just saying " No--confidently--if you don't comply you will

be sent to your room " --and make sure you follow through. The big key is to

watch your child's bad behavior and see what is the very first thing your child

does before he/she really misbehaves badly--for our child it was

spitting---before she really got agitated and enraged--Now when she spits we

tell her " No--confidently " then if she did go through with it -again-straight to

the child's room--without saying a word to your child--quickly if you can--this

has worked for our child--Just to let you know--the first time will

be the worse--our child threw everything in the room--so make sure there are no

items that would harm the child. One more thing--make sure everyone in the

house follows through with this technique--one person not complying could put a

gliche in the system. I will be praying for you and your family at this time.

Take care,

Tresa

Montgomery <gmontg@...> wrote:

Hello Listmates:

I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband is filing for

divorce and my children and I will have to move in with my parents

approximately 1000 miles from where we currently live. I was unable to

obtain an education since I had to stay at home to care for our sick son and

therefore cannot afford our home. Anyway, my son’s behavior has always been

really bad. He has been on Adderall for four years and we have tried

Strattera and natural alternatives with little luck. He is GF/CF and has

been for 10+ months now and a few months ago I removed IGG issues. After all

of this his ATEC score has not improved in at least 6 months and his

outbursts, aggression and noncompliance is just more than I can handle alone

and with housing about to get tight I am looking for any help. He doesn’t

listen well so I have never been able to handle him in public or even around

the neighborhood. I am willing to talk to a doctor about other prescription

options since none of the natural approaches have really helped. Any

suggestions welcomed!

TIA,

ville, Florida

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Hi .

One of the most helpful books I ever read was Shira Richman's, A Parents Guide

to Applied Behaviorial Analysis. It sounds like a difficult book to get

through, but it is not. Also, the concepts explained in this book can be

applied to any child and make sense. With children on the spectrum, when they

act out negatively, if for any reason there is any positive reinforcement for

doing so, it is almost certain the behavior will happen again. Here is a simple

example. A child hates going to the supermarket, throws a fit in the store, and

the parent takes the child out of the store.(child gets what he/she wants) Now

the child is going to throw a fit all the time in the supermarket. This book

will tell you how to gradually get your child to be able to go in the

supermarket without any incident.

It doesn't always have to be that way, don't give up. Good luck. Lynn

Montgomery <gmontg@...> wrote:

Hello Listmates:

I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband is filing for

divorce and my children and I will have to move in with my parents

approximately 1000 miles from where we currently live. I was unable to

obtain an education since I had to stay at home to care for our sick son and

therefore cannot afford our home. Anyway, my son’s behavior has always been

really bad. He has been on Adderall for four years and we have tried

Strattera and natural alternatives with little luck. He is GF/CF and has

been for 10+ months now and a few months ago I removed IGG issues. After all

of this his ATEC score has not improved in at least 6 months and his

outbursts, aggression and noncompliance is just more than I can handle alone

and with housing about to get tight I am looking for any help. He doesn’t

listen well so I have never been able to handle him in public or even around

the neighborhood. I am willing to talk to a doctor about other prescription

options since none of the natural approaches have really helped. Any

suggestions welcomed!

TIA,

ville, Florida

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

Tresa's advice is excellent! Although my son isn't violent, we've had issues

with spitting and threatening to head but. Now both at school and at home, the

posture for spitting is responded to with a firm " no, " and the consequence if he

proceeds with the behavior is an immediate time-out. We used to ignore his

threats of head butting, but then he went a step further, so now there is a

consequence for the threat.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Our thoughts and prayers are with you

and your children.

All the best,

Robyn

Tresa Elengold <telengold@...> wrote: Dear

,

You will be in my prayers as you make this huge adjustment in your life. I

have a child who has had some really aggressive and rageful behavior--I know

where you are at. Like most everyone has said please keep a positive

attitude--be honest with your children about what is happening without talking

badly about your spouse. But enough of that--what really helped us out with our

child's behavior is just saying " No--confidently--if you don't comply you will

be sent to your room " --and make sure you follow through. The big key is to

watch your child's bad behavior and see what is the very first thing your child

does before he/she really misbehaves badly--for our child it was

spitting---before she really got agitated and enraged--Now when she spits we

tell her " No--confidently " then if she did go through with it -again-straight to

the child's room--without saying a word to your child--quickly if you can--this

has worked for our child--Just to let you know--the first time will

be the worse--our child threw everything in the room--so make sure there are

no items that would harm the child. One more thing--make sure everyone in the

house follows through with this technique--one person not complying could put a

gliche in the system. I will be praying for you and your family at this time.

Take care,

Tresa

Montgomery <gmontg@...> wrote:

Hello Listmates:

I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband is filing for

divorce and my children and I will have to move in with my parents

approximately 1000 miles from where we currently live. I was unable to

obtain an education since I had to stay at home to care for our sick son and

therefore cannot afford our home. Anyway, my son’s behavior has always been

really bad. He has been on Adderall for four years and we have tried

Strattera and natural alternatives with little luck. He is GF/CF and has

been for 10+ months now and a few months ago I removed IGG issues. After all

of this his ATEC score has not improved in at least 6 months and his

outbursts, aggression and noncompliance is just more than I can handle alone

and with housing about to get tight I am looking for any help. He doesn’t

listen well so I have never been able to handle him in public or even around

the neighborhood. I am willing to talk to a doctor about other prescription

options since none of the natural approaches have really helped. Any

suggestions welcomed!

TIA,

ville, Florida

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.

[Guest guest]

What really made the turning point for us (Connor was very Rage-full and

aggressive, particularly with much younger children) was when we defined the

difference between " Good " boy and " Bad " boy. We re-enforced the concept with a

token economy that allowed either a red X or a green circle on each day of his

calendar followed by a food reward. It sounds like way out in front of the curve

but although he did not acknowledge it for several weeks he became very focused

on the calendar and our judgment of his behavior for that day. At the moment you

give him a green circle for the day give him a preferred desert - juice bar

ETC...When his behavior melts down get the desert and throw it away and explain

only good boys get rewards.

It does much more than just redirect bad behavior it also gave him the concept

of space and time. We very quickly started working towards being a " Good " boy

tomorrow and later in the week.

This progressed to a weekly reward for three or four " Good " boy days, We now

plan our week around good behaviors and weekend activities like swimming and

shopping with mom.

I do agree that you and your entire team be consistent and most of all NEVER

reward bad behavior to get through a difficult moment.

It happens real quick if you stand your ground.

We have progressed to a daily activities chart with rewards for each successful

activity. Now we have turned the rewards into an allowance and he shops online

for his Saturday trip to the mall.

Re: Need help with behavior

Dear ,

You will be in my prayers as you make this huge adjustment in your life. I have

a child who has had some really aggressive and rageful behavior--I know where

you are at. Like most everyone has said please keep a positive attitude--be

honest with your children about what is happening without talking badly about

your spouse. But enough of that--what really helped us out with our child's

behavior is just saying " No--confidently- -if you don't comply you will be sent

to your room " --and make sure you follow through. The big key is to watch your

child's bad behavior and see what is the very first thing your child does before

he/she really misbehaves badly--for our child it was spitting---before she

really got agitated and enraged--Now when she spits we tell her

" No--confidently " then if she did go through with it -again-straight to the

child's room--without saying a word to your child--quickly if you can--this has

worked for our child--Just to let you

know--the first time will

be the worse--our child threw everything in the room--so make sure there are no

items that would harm the child. One more thing--make sure everyone in the

house follows through with this technique--one person not complying could put a

gliche in the system. I will be praying for you and your family at this time.

Take care,

Tresa

Montgomery <gmontgcomcast (DOT) net> wrote:

Hello Listmates:

I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband is filing for

divorce and my children and I will have to move in with my parents

approximately 1000 miles from where we currently live. I was unable to

obtain an education since I had to stay at home to care for our sick son and

therefore cannot afford our home. Anyway, my son¢s behavior has always been

really bad. He has been on Adderall for four years and we have tried

Strattera and natural alternatives with little luck. He is GF/CF and has

been for 10+ months now and a few months ago I removed IGG issues. After all

of this his ATEC score has not improved in at least 6 months and his

outbursts, aggression and noncompliance is just more than I can handle alone

and with housing about to get tight I am looking for any help. He doesn¢t

listen well so I have never been able to handle him in public or even around

the neighborhood. I am willing to talk to a doctor about other prescription

options since none of the natural approaches have really helped. Any

suggestions welcomed!

TIA,

ville, Florida

------------ --------- --------- ---

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Mobile. Try it now.