Social skills

[Guest guest]

I don't believe your going over-board. Most of these disorders start or either

end up leading to Social Skills defeicits. One of the hardest opsticles for my

son who has PDD and Apraxia was learning to initiate interaction and responding

spontaneously. I had it written into his IEP which has a section called " Social

Skills " It reads, will learn to initiate greeting 80%, will say

Hi 85% when entering class room to teachers and classmates and many more other

social skills similiar to these. It made a big difference and helped him to

make friends in his " pre-school " class. It also gave him a huge leap in

confidence, now that even on his level of communication, that what he had to say

was of value and would get him a response back. Also, the there is a group

that's called " CHILD'S PLAY " That deals exactly with this social advancement.

They have typically verbal and children that sign enteract with Children who

have various social delays etc. It's really cute.

They have them do a series of drills that seem like play. Like walk over to

each other and say hello, my turn, lets play, etc. you may want to look into

this. I'm sure you can find them on the net. They have 2 locations in New

Jersey.

[ ] Social Skills Added to IEP

I just want to get other parents opinion on this. I'm starting to

figure out what I want in next years (2nd grade) IEP.

I think that (and maybe) needs some social skills goals

added to her IEP.

I think she is still very shy when she is around everyone except her

immediate family.

This is just an example. At Brownies, the leaders had the girls

practice asking a person to buy Girl Scout cookies, and then say

thank you. One of the Brownies would ask another Brownie to buy the

cookies. and both refused to take part in this activity.

can easily say " Would you like to buy some cookies " . We're

definitely beyond that now, but she is still so uncomfortable

talking to non-family members.

That is just an example of how she often acts. She is participating

more in the classroom. She is making friends, but they are mainly

boys. I think it is because boys are less verbal than girls.

and are the most popular girls in the class with the boys.

(Don't know how that will play out in high school. LOL)

I talked to 's school therapist a little bit, and she thought I

might be going overboard.

What do you guys think?

[Guest guest]

I really like the idea of adding a greeting goal. rarely says

hello to people, even if they say hello to her first.

I also like the idea of a social group with " normal children " .

Thanks,

Suzi

> I don't believe your going over-board. Most of these disorders

start or either end up leading to Social Skills defeicits. One of

the hardest opsticles for my son who has PDD and Apraxia was

learning to initiate interaction and responding spontaneously. I

had it written into his IEP which has a section called " Social

Skills " It reads, will learn to initiate greeting 80%,

will say Hi 85% when entering class room to teachers and

classmates and many more other social skills similiar to these. It

made a big difference and helped him to make friends in his " pre-

school " class. It also gave him a huge leap in confidence, now that

even on his level of communication, that what he had to say was of

value and would get him a response back. Also, the there is a group

that's called " CHILD'S PLAY " That deals exactly with this social

advancement. They have typically verbal and children that sign

enteract with Children who have various social delays etc. It's

really cute.

> They have them do a series of drills that seem like play. Like

walk over to each other and say hello, my turn, lets play, etc. you

may want to look into this. I'm sure you can find them on the net.

They have 2 locations in New Jersey.

[Guest guest]

On Hope's brand new IEP that have goals for her to " develop and improve social

skills so that she can interact successfully in school, at home and in the

community " , to " take at least 2 turns in a conversation " , and to " respond

appropraiately when asked a question or requested to do something " . Those are a

few of the 3 pages of goals the teacher wrote, along with keeping the 2 pages of

goals the previous teacher wrote and keeping the 3 pages of goals the speech

therapist wrote. I'm in the process of typing them all up for a checklist for

here and noting the ones they want family observation and input on. It's also

so Lane can read them. Those multi-page carbonless forms didnt transfer very

well this time.

They take the kids out to the gym, the playground and the library so they get

around " normal " children as well. Surprisingly, the kids in the elementary

school are very accepting of the preschool kids and interact with them quite a

bit.

Today was Hope's first day of class and she did wonderfully. She even talked to

the other kids and the teachers. That is suprsing. I expected her to get very

quiet and not attempt to say anything for a while. But she did great. When I

picked her up I was talking to a dad who was picking up his daughter. She also

has apraxia and has been in the class since school started. He said when he read

all the goals they had for her, he was skeptical. She only said 2 words at the

time. Now she's a little chatterbox. At times he has trouble understanding her

and she is very quiet, almost like she's afraid to say something, but she's come

a long way.

Toni

[ ] Re: SOCIAL SKILLS

I really like the idea of adding a greeting goal. rarely says

hello to people, even if they say hello to her first.

I also like the idea of a social group with " normal children " .

Thanks,

Suzi

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I couldn't agree more woiht you as far as " normal typical " developing

children, children that by nature are reserved in social situations are

sometimes

swallowed up by the outspoken ones. It takes years for shy children to feel good

about themselves to be social, and some never attain that feeling.

All children need social interaction skills beginning at home, and strictly

enforced in school. I have seen some horrible situations for shy kids who get

swallowed up by the confident ones. And while in school they don't know how to

fend for themselves. That is why I was so worried about my son, who has speech

difficulties, when he started kindergarten. After seeing what my other 2

girls went thru and they were shy, and they had no communication delays.Just my

opinion.

[Guest guest]

As an extremely " off-the-cuff " response to this, after having my first child

(typical) go through elementary school already and having her now in middle

school, I would have to wonder if the " normal " kids are ever monitored for

this as well. Our daughter was extremely shy and I know in the mix of a lot

of very gregarious fellow students she often would become more so. On the

other side of this, though a lot of those " normal " children were very

gregarious, they often just simply didn't have the manners and/or desire to

have to perform these same expected niceties which fall (or may fall) under

a classified child's expectations/goals for education.

No mal intent for my comments, just a knee-jerk response as I compare my

typical child's educational experiences and groupings to a lot of what I

read here and in my experience with our son (apraxic, low tone) in his

preschool setting.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Debbie :-)

[Guest guest]

I think greeting people is a hard one for any kid that is Shy. My 10 year old

still puts his head down and barely responds when someone says hi to him. He is

not apraxic.

Now with Lindsey,my apraxic 7.8 year old. she plays with no one is her class and

her social skills are not good.

She wants to be social ,but she's just insecure and not quite sure how.

2 weeks ago we were at the circus and many kids told Lindsey hi,and as usual

she just ignores them!! As I was talking to a friend, I again I here " hi

Lindsey " and then a ' Oh hi Josh' (I can't beleive I fogot the boys name!) She

said it so clear ,and loud enough to hear and it made HER feel so good that she

did it!

Since then she is telling strangers " Hello " most of the time she says it way to

low,but she has been so brave and proud lately :-)

Jennie

[Guest guest]

I agree this is not just a " special needs " problem -this is

something anyone can have ...and it may not even be a problem. So

speaking as one who was quite comfortable being shy when I felt shy

as a young child -and one who grew up and became more inclined to

try to be an apprentice on Trump's new TV show (no I am not

at all shy today!) being shy is not a problem, and is not

necessarily permanent. Perhaps it's part of a developmental stage

and some just

get stuck -and perhaps it just is the way one is. Don't assume

however that shy people feel left out. When I was shy I 'wanted' to

stay out of the spotlight -that's what made me happy.

This is one to follow your gut on and discuss with professionals

that know your child that you respect. I know that when I was asked

to say " hi " to someone when I was in my shy stage as a young child

it terrified me. Do I know why? I remember being scared, sometimes

terrified to the point of tears and hiding -but no, don't know why.

I know my mom never forced me to say " hi " My mom let me be shy.

She didn't push it and let me hide behind couches or her and just

said " it's OK " . Again -I outgrew that stage. Some kids may need help

with social skills, but shyness in a preschool child doesn't mean

shyness forever. I know that for a fact.

As some of you know who are not new members, I was very sick as an

infant from celiac disease which almost killed me, and spent much of

my early childhood in the hospital. I did attend a few days of

preschool. and a few days of kindergarten, but the rest of the time

I was in the hospital or home sick. The only reason I was able to

move up to first grade is because I passed a test they gave me which

I still remember taking.

I was very shy, and I even recall being afraid of certain people at

times -I don't know why. I was friends with two little girls who

lived on either side of my house, one who I'm still friends with

today, and with some children I met in the hospital, but even with

them I was shy and spoke very soft. I spoke so soft people had to

strain to hear me -and as I started to go to school more, I still

spoke soft and wrote soft. Teachers had to write on my papers to

write darker because they couldn't read my work.

I never had any classes on how to say hi, how to speak louder, or

how not to be shy. Again, I don't recall anyone seeing my shyness as

a problem. As I grew up I stopped being sick all the time and

changed in other ways. I became known as " social butterfly " who can

make friends with a wrong number on the phone. Back when I was

working in animation actually I was asked to be a VJ for MTV (I

worked on lots of the behind the scenes commercials) I did like

behind the scenes work more than being in front of the camera -but I

was not shy anymore -and very social. I just knew what I wanted.

Actually if you ask most people I grew up with about me (except my

friend Debbie who knew me when I was shy as a young child and wishes

I was a bit shier today) -probably the last word anyone would use to

describe me is shy -or that I speak too soft! Tanner too was shy

when he was unable to communicate and preschool age -and today he

too is as far from shy as anyone -that's for sure! Tanner walked up

to his " girlfriend's " mom to introduce himself and ask for Emma's

phone number. (Johanna, Emma's mom said that it took him awhile to

get it out -but she understood every word)

It would be interesting to know from shy adults -how were they as

children, and were they " taught " how to be more social and did it

help them?

Here is some of what I found online:

" special guest Mark Okyansky spoke about how he changed from a shy

stutterer to a confident young adult thanks to the involvement of

his Big Brother and the caring counselors that he met at Camp Max

Straus. "

http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/preview.php?id=11847

" But I learned my mental toughness in college. I was a shy,

introverted kid. I used college to learn how to speak with people

and interact. College is where I became a man. "

http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36~86~1962664,00.html

" ST. PAUL, Minn. - Five years ago, he was a shy, acne-faced teenager

who was living in the basement of a house belonging to a future Hall

of Fame goaltender. Today, Tanguay is carving his own niche as

one of the NHL's brightest stars.

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/avalanche/article/0,1299,DRMN_39_2636187,0\

0.html

My Achy Breaky Heart: Helping the Shy Adolescent

Lorna J. Lacina-Gifford and McFerrin

Northwestern State University

http://www.lmsaonline.org/achybreaky.htm

Don't let the title fool you -lots of great suggestions here just in

case your child doesn't outgrow it. (and again -I wonder why some

don't outgrow being shy...were they pushed? Or is this just normal?)

=====

[Guest guest]

, socialisation and social skills were the first thing that went

haywire when my son regressed, and I believe they will be the last

thing to come right.

You may just have to keep chelating and have faith that the skills

will eventually come right.

Steve

[Guest guest]

> Anyway, my son really wants to have friends but does things that make the

> kids not like him. Instead of waiting for his turn to get his backpack,

> he

> will plow through the kids to get it. He doesn't realize that this is not

> appropriate. Instead of asking a kid to play with him, he will do

> something

> annoying to the kid to get his attention. The list goes on and on. I try

> to role

> play with my son to teach him the right way to act, but he just cannot get

> it.

> Has anyone else been successful in resolving a social skills deficiency in

> their child? I would appreciate all advice. Thanks.

> Jukoski

,

Have you ever done social stories with him? They can be very effective.

You could also use video taping as a way to model appropriate behavior. I

have used some friends kids to role play the negative behavior and the

positive behavior on how they should handle a situation. Have you checked

with the local special education department (IU) to see if they are offering

workshops on how to write a social stories (they are typically free)? Ours

is having an all day workshop in August. I am going as a refresher and to

see if I can get any additional ideas. Here is a good link on social

stories (words only) and you may need to add pictures as a visual aid.

http://www.thegraycenter.org/sample_social_stories.htm#Topic%20of%20Story:%20%20\

Line%20leader

HTH,

Jackie

Lititz, PA

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I found that explaining social things to my two kids helped a lot. But I don't

give them " shoulds " . For example, I would not say " You shouldn't plow through

the other kids to get your backpack. " I would say " The reason the other kids

don't like that is.... and the reaction you will get to such behaviors is....

(etc) " and then let them figure out how much they do or don't want to modify

their behavior. My goal was simply to give them understanding of why people

reacted to them a certain way and/or the consequences of certain choices of

theirs, without judging them to be " wrong " or " bad " etc. I did all I could to

separate certain tendencies of theirs from the reactions of other people and to

teach them to find constructive outlets for their traits rather than saying " X

trait is bad " .

Michele in California

calif.michele@...

webmaster@...

Visit Michele's World! of (Twice) Exceptional Homeschooling

http://www.califmichele.com

It is not so very important for a person to learn facts. For that he does not

really need a college. He can learn them from books. The value of an education

in a liberal arts college is not learning of many facts but the training of the

mind to think something that cannot be learned from textbooks.

-Albert Einstein

[Guest guest]

This is emerging in my son. We have done 70 rounds.

I thought it will never come but yes it is!

> My six year old son (PDD) has made amazing gains with the 43 rounds

of

> chelation he has done so far. But, he still has big problems with

social skills.

> He spent his first five years with speech, sensory, learning, and

severe

> behavior problems. He still has all of these, but to a much lesser

degree. I think

> that part of the reason for his social skill deficiency is that he

wasn't

> able to learn social skills through play and other interaction like

NT kids do.

> Maybe also the social skills deficiency is related to the mercury

in his

> brain. Anyway, my son really wants to have friends but does things

that make the

> kids not like him. Instead of waiting for his turn to get his

backpack, he

> will plow through the kids to get it. He doesn't realize that this

is not

> appropriate. Instead of asking a kid to play with him, he will do

something

> annoying to the kid to get his attention. The list goes on and

on. I try to role

> play with my son to teach him the right way to act, but he just

cannot get it.

> Has anyone else been successful in resolving a social skills

deficiency in

> their child? I would appreciate all advice. Thanks.

> Jukoski

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

http://www.rdiconnect.com/default.asp This is what I am just investigating.

Dagmar.

Re: [ ] social skills

My six year old son (PDD) has made amazing gains with the 43 rounds of

chelation he has done so far. But, he still has big problems with social

skills.

He spent his first five years with speech, sensory, learning, and severe

behavior problems. He still has all of these, but to a much lesser degree. I

think

that part of the reason for his social skill deficiency is that he wasn't

able to learn social skills through play and other interaction like NT kids

do.

Maybe also the social skills deficiency is related to the mercury in his

brain. Anyway, my son really wants to have friends but does things that make

the

kids not like him. Instead of waiting for his turn to get his backpack, he

will plow through the kids to get it. He doesn't realize that this is not

appropriate. Instead of asking a kid to play with him, he will do something

annoying to the kid to get his attention. The list goes on and on. I try to

role

play with my son to teach him the right way to act, but he just cannot get it.

Has anyone else been successful in resolving a social skills deficiency in

their child? I would appreciate all advice. Thanks.

Jukoski

[Guest guest]

This is all so refreshing. To see kids on 43 and 70 rounds. I just

heard from a mom who has done 100. I always wondered when I see a

list of nearly 5000 members who all is waking up every 3-4 hours and

giving their kids meds. COngrats to all you nightime warriers.

Holly

Ben - 82 rounds and 42

> > My six year old son (PDD) has made amazing gains with the 43

rounds

> of

> > chelation he has done so far. But, he still has big problems

with

> social skills.

> > He spent his first five years with speech, sensory, learning,

and

> severe

> > behavior problems. He still has all of these, but to a much

lesser

> degree. I think

> > that part of the reason for his social skill deficiency is that

he

> wasn't

> > able to learn social skills through play and other interaction

like

> NT kids do.

> > Maybe also the social skills deficiency is related to the

mercury

> in his

> > brain. Anyway, my son really wants to have friends but does

things

> that make the

> > kids not like him. Instead of waiting for his turn to get his

> backpack, he

> > will plow through the kids to get it. He doesn't realize that

this

> is not

> > appropriate. Instead of asking a kid to play with him, he will

do

> something

> > annoying to the kid to get his attention. The list goes on and

> on. I try to role

> > play with my son to teach him the right way to act, but he just

> cannot get it.

> > Has anyone else been successful in resolving a social skills

> deficiency in

> > their child? I would appreciate all advice. Thanks.

> > Jukoski

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

> My six year old son (PDD) has made amazing gains with the 43 rounds of

> chelation he has done so far. But, he still has big problems with

social skills.

n got a lot out of Jed Baker's " The Social Skills Picture Book " .

It breaks things down and has good photos showing things like how body

language works etc. Really recommend it. I thought n wouldn't be

interested -- he's not exactly the easiest student! -- but he was

riveted.

Nell

[Guest guest]

>

> This is emerging in my son. We have done 70 rounds.

> I thought it will never come but yes it is!

>

Yay! I wanted to add to my earlier post that I'm seeing big

improvements socially too (although they disappear with yeast). One

interesting thing is that he seems to already know all the social

stuff, it's just that some of the time he can't access it. So my

verbal teaching was really getting on his nerves because he *knew he

shouldn;t be reacting the way he was but couldn't help it.

Nell

[Guest guest]

How old is n?

Dagmar.

[ ] Re: social skills

> My six year old son (PDD) has made amazing gains with the 43 rounds of

> chelation he has done so far. But, he still has big problems with

social skills.

n got a lot out of Jed Baker's " The Social Skills Picture Book " .

It breaks things down and has good photos showing things like how body

language works etc. Really recommend it. I thought n wouldn't be

interested -- he's not exactly the easiest student! -- but he was

riveted.

Nell

=======================================================

[Guest guest]

> How old is n?

>

> Dagmar.

He's 6.5, with an Asperger's dx. Before Houston enzymes, he would

scream " I hate other people! " if another kid showed up at the

playground. With the first round of chelation, he started getting

interested in other kids. We're on round 43 now, and he has friends.

Nell

[Guest guest]

>>I would say " The reason the other kids don't like that is.... and

the reaction you will get to such behaviors is.... (etc) " and then let

them figure out how much they do or don't want to modify their behavior.

I do this for my #1 and #4. I also ask them " pretend you are one of

the kids in line, and someone comes up just like you did, would you

like it? Why or why not? " They are at the level where they can

understand and think about it.

Dana

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/1/2005 8:12:42 AM Central Standard Time,

lanellici@... writes:

> n got a lot out of Jed Baker's " The Social Skills Picture Book " .

I got this book for my son when he was 6-7, and he loved it, too! His social

skills still leave a lot to be desired, but the book got him thinking.

Debbei

[Guest guest]

A couple of options you may want to try in school are a) Get Social Skills

training included in his IEP Talk to your school counselor about a

friendship group or Circle of Friends. Peer modeling is a great way to

learn social skills.

~Penny ~

JAX Management, Inc.

HYPERLINK " http://www.jaxmgt.com " http://www.jaxmgt.com

Furthering the cause of Autism Awareness

April is Autism Awareness Month!!

~~~~~~~~~~~

What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool?

You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and

socializing and not getting anything done.

Temple Grandin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_____

From: JLJukoski@... [mailto:JLJukoski@...]

Sent: Thursday, March 31, 2005 6:32 PM

Subject: Re: [ ] social skills

My six year old son (PDD) has made amazing gains with the 43 rounds of

chelation he has done so far. But, he still has big problems with social

skills.

He spent his first five years with speech, sensory, learning, and severe

behavior problems.

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[Guest guest]

I forgot about this!! It was the same with my daughter. I just “left it

out” to see if she’d pick it up and she did. It was her main “book” for

quite a while. (You know, read it every night before bed, brought it to bed,

etc.)

We bought “Taking Care of Yourself” (a self-care guide for those with

Autsim) not too long ago, and the same thing occurred. I recommend that

book highly also.

~Penny ~

JAX Management, Inc.

HYPERLINK " http://www.jaxmgt.com " http://www.jaxmgt.com

Furthering the cause of Autism Awareness

~~~~~~~~~~~

What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool?

You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and

socializing and not getting anything done.

Temple Grandin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_____

From: lanellici [mailto:lanellici@...]

Sent: Friday, April 01, 2005 6:08 AM

Subject: [ ] Re: social skills

> My six year old son (PDD) has made amazing gains with the 43 rounds of

> chelation he has done so far. But, he still has big problems with

social skills.

n got a lot out of Jed Baker's " The Social Skills Picture Book " .

It breaks things down and has good photos showing things like how body

language works etc. Really recommend it. I thought n wouldn't be

interested -- he's not exactly the easiest student! -- but he was

riveted.

Nell

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[Guest guest]

I got mine at Amazon.

Here’s a link to it.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1885477945/qid=1113782484/sr=2-1/ref=

pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-5652739-1868025

~Penny ~

JAX Management, Inc.

HYPERLINK " http://www.jaxmgt.com " http://www.jaxmgt.com

Furthering the cause of Autism Awareness

~~~~~~~~~~~

What would happen if the autism gene was eliminated from the gene pool?

You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and

socializing and not getting anything done.

Temple Grandin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_____

From: Christinna Guzman [mailto:christinnaguzman@...]

Sent: Friday, April 08, 2005 8:14 PM

Subject: RE: [ ] Re: social skills

Where did you get the book on hygine? Need one bad!

Keep in touch!

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[Guest guest]

Lynn,

The social is the last to come and it doesn't without much intervention on

your part. I had no clue as to how to do this. I started doing social

things when he was supposed to start interaction with peers at about four or

five. Back then we only had friends maybe once a week. He didn't want

anyone to come over. I used to tell him this is mandatory and either he

could pick who was coming for a play date or I would.

I know it takes tremendous energy to do this, but what choice do we have?

We are all their only hope for recovery. No one is going to do this for

you. If I had known back then, he would eventually get better I would have

had the energy to do more. The hardest part is getting up every day and

continuing when you think they will always be autistic and nothing can help.

I cried because he was never invited to birthday parties in elementary or

middle school. I used to pray anyone would invite him over. But it didn't

happen until middle school and then it was rare. I used to have neighbor

kids practically live at my house because the mom worked the graveyard

shift. And the one time Mom actually took all the neighbor kids on a bike

ride (because she had started a diet) she told he couldn't go because

he was too slow. I hated her for that but I still had her kids. Free day

care for her, but more importantly typical kids for to learn from.

In middle school, he hung with the foreign kids because they also were

socially different and didn't get it. After middle school, we actually

moved from Minnesota to California because begged me to move. He

wanted to escape from Minnesota where he was bullied so much.

High school was in California. The kids were nicer but my husband and I

were the entertainment committee on the weekends. had a few friends.

However he never went to the football games and only occasionally went to

school events. He was always scared to initiate an activity because of the

fear of rejection. The past bullying had hurt his confidence. And he was

the last one friends picked to hang with.

had one friend who always needed a ride because he didn't drive.

would be his personal chauffer. Some may think this kid was using him but

it was good socially for my kid too. He was on the fringe in high school

looking in and learning how it works. Eventually he gained all the social

skills he needed to know, but still hadn't put them into practice.

My son didn't have true friends until college. There he finally fits. When

he no longer had us around to be entertaining, he finally did it on his own.

Of course I used the car again as a prompt. Freshmen were not allowed to

have cars. I got special permission for him to have a car with the lie that

he had to be able to drive home to see Dr. Goldberg. So kids had him drive

them everywhere. He took girls to get body piercings and trips to the mall

were constant. That way he didn't have to initiate the contact but he made

it.

He joined clubs and now he even takes trips to San Diego from LA to stay

with his college friends over the summer. I happy to report this kid who

would never think of drinking now does what most college kids do and has an

occasional beer. I know it is kind of weird and backwards for a mom to want

their kid to be a part of that but it is a " normal " thing. Even back in

elementary and middle school unlike most moms I would love it every time he

got in trouble for talking too much. That meant he was being social and

social was good.

When was your son's age I would borrow other people's kids to teach

socialization. Playing with my son was not fun because at first the other

kids got no response. So I made my house the Kool-aid place. I had the

best toys, and the best treats. We even built a Gucci playhouse, got a

trampoline, a Nintendo or anything else that would be a kid attractor.

Anything that would make these kids want to come back because my son was not

fun to play with. Their parents loved it because it was free babysitting

that they didn't have to reciprocate. I had kids at my house at least two

to three times a week. After he could handle interaction with one kid I

moved to two kids and small groups to play at my house. At first they came

for a short time and then longer.

In the beginning, I was the one who played with the other kids. I had to

facilitate every interaction. We would play board games or video games

where the rules for social interaction were clear. Going to the park or the

movies with them were our field trips. Playing on the equipment at the park

or sitting in a movie didn't take advanced social skills. I usually picked

the kids whose parents were too busy to spend much time with them.

Fortunately our guests loved the one on one attention and always wanted to

come back to play with me even though my son had bizarre behavior. It was

exhausting and especially hard to watch the differences between my child and

" normal " kids. It took quite some time until I could get my son to join in

and years until he could do it solo.

At first he just hid in the back of the house when anyone would come over.

We used ABA and those techniques to help me know how to get him to do things

that were hard for him. In the short turn, it would have been much easier

to let my son be autistic. Easier to let him wander the house plugging in

his portable radio over and over again in every outlet in the house. Easier

not to have the confrontations when I expected him to do something he didn't

want to do. I didn't want to watch him scream when he didn't know what to

do with other kids. But if I had given in to him; he never would have

learned the right way to behave. But staying Autistic wasn't an option.

There is one inexpensive paperback that helped me teach about

friendship. It is called " How Kids Make Friends " by Lonny . You

can get it on Amazon. There are a ton more books on the subject now and

even paperbacks to read to your kid that will help. Just put " Friends or

Friendship " in the browser and you will see how many there are. I wish the

internet had been available when I was doing this.

If you need help or just need to talk to someone who has been there call me.

This is a long grueling process and not for sissies but rather for moms who

will face anything to help their children.

I hope this rambling and too long of a response helps you. Are you still

awake? Talk to you soon.

Marcia Hinds

805 497-8202