Will he ever talk? A Mother's Story of Triumph

[Guest guest]

One of the Son-Rise moms that I met at the Autism Treatment Center of America in

July, wrote a letter to ATCA that I thought I'd share. It's pasted below.

If you wish to forward this to others, feel free to do so.

Peace be with you!---

" Will he ever talk? "

I remember when my son Sam's Speech Pathologist left the brochure for the Autism

Treatment Center of America on the kitchen counter, my heart sank. Sam wasn't

autistic, he was PDD and we even had doubts about that. He was so loving and

friendly with everyone. He was everything. I was the luckiest Mom in the world,

so blessed. Why did it change? Sam went from being one of the happiest kids I

ever saw to a spacey, tired and silent boy. His smile left. I would ask

everyone, " Will he ever talk? " Once someone told me, " You know, there are people

who are elective mutes. " I thought, " Mute, MUTE, my God, Sam? Oh my God. "

Specialists had many opinions about Sam, what his capacities were and what

services would help him best and what my failures were.

When Sam was three years old, he went to a special needs school, where he

received Speech and OT, PT and still we pushed the system to continue to provide

Sam with more of these services in addition to Special Education Itinerate

Teacher (SEIT) services after school. We were running all around. Two full-time

jobs between us, one out-of-state, we were frustrated, sad, in mourning,

exhausted--everything was so hard. And even with all this effort, Sam still

wasn't talking. He'd make verbal approximations from time to time and even say a

word here and there. Then nothing. I recall once when changing his diaper that I

wondered if I'd ever hear him say Mom. I prompted him over and over to " say mama

honey, say mama " , Then collapsed into tears. What would happen to him, how would

he be able to live a full life given his challenges.

Try anything, I thought, just try. I made the phone call to the Autism Treatment

Center of America. I was sent a starter kit that included a BBC documentary. My

husband and I watched the video and we called the next day to enroll in the

Son-Rise Program Start-Up. It made perfect sense! I saw a little boy emerge from

being disconnected to demonstrating how he could use the microwave. I saw how

love and enthusiasm could create miracles. My husband and I could learn how to

work with Sam in a way that included our deep passion and love for Sam as the

best tool to encourage his growth. However, I was still very skeptical about

pulling him out of school, we both were.

We entered the Start-Up seminar, sat among over 100 parents from around the

world, all of who shared our story. They knew. We were not alone. Bryn Hogan

walked into the room, she was so full of life, so full of love for us. And she

knew too. She not only had a brother who had been autistic, Raun, but a

daughter, Jade, as well, and both were cured. In that first morning she said,

" Take your hope back, you can take it back now " . We got our hope back, we got

limitless possibilities back. I cried then and I'm crying now as I write that.

It was the most amazing experience. Sam was now officially limitless again, just

as he was when he was born. We looked at each other on the second day and said,

" He's out of school, we're doing this 100%. We have the love and now we're

learning the how-to. " How to create and support Sam's connection with the world,

his words, his attention span, eye contact, how to potty train him, how to have

fun. Oh, we also totally agreed

that he was autistic now, we got that too.

In late October 2005, we completed the set up of our Son-Rise playroom in our

one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan. The bedroom became Sam's playroom and

bedroom, our bed was moved to the living area. Our first volunteer team included

his Speech Pathologist and SEIT, our friends, my husband, Barry, and me. We had

the ability to train everyone based on the teachings from the Start-up Program .

Sam was so blessed, he had such a big family, all of whom wanted the best for

him, all of whom loved him dearly.

On February 27, 2005, just four months later, I wrote, " these days he's into

saying mamay, mam, he yells it, whispers it, he speaks it non-stop. And it's

wonderful! He's saying so much, in the car coming home his father, Barry, said,

'Oh this book, do you want me to read it?' Sam said, 'yah, ree'. "

We have been so blessed and supported by the Autism Treatment Center of America.

We have taken each of the Son-Rise Programs - The Son-Rise Program Start-up, The

Son-Rise Program New Frontiers: Advanced Training, and The Son-Rise Program

Maximum Impact: Advanced Training. We did The Son-Rise Program Intensive with

Sam, used Outreaches, Consultation services, and Option Process® Dialogues to

help Sam flourish. Every single staff member we have come into contact with has

been amazing, professional, intelligent, focused, loving, had effective tools to

teach us and kept us going when we struggled. We are further blessed by the

scholarship support we have received to attend these programs and couldn't have

attended them without this help. We grew with each of these supports and

seminars. My awareness of my issues and beliefs increased, and in turn my

capacity to help Sam exploded. I am grateful, profoundly grateful, that Bears

and Samarhia Kaufman had the

courage to make the choice they did with their son Raun. They have changed the

world in helping us to help Sam and so many others.

So, where is Sam now? It's two years and eight months since we began the

program. Sam just started school on July 7th! He's doing beautifully and

learning how to attend to the class structure without meltdowns, none. Sam has

changed so much in these past two and a half-years. He has progressed from a

little guy who wasn't verbal to a talking child. This morning as he was leaving

the house, he said, " Dad, if you need help, call me at school! " and in the car

he said, " I want Dad " . I asked him why, and he thought and then said, " I love

him. " He has all the parts of speech, says what he's thinking, makes jokes and

asks questions all the time. He's even learning how to sing. He's a talker and

loves to chat with people in town and is engaged with the world in every way.

Sam used to flit from thing to thing. He had a miniscule attention span. We

would read books as he flipped the pages, not stopping to look at the pictures

or listen to us read or even interpret the pictures. Now we read endlessly. He

also plays on his own, actually plays astronauts, farming, or construction

worker games on his own using character voices for an hour or so. I honestly

don't believe he would be where he is today in terms of language and attention

span without The Son-Rise Program. Every other method we tried previously didn't

offer the loving, engaged and nourishing support that encouraged Sam to grow and

keep growing. He still has challenges with verbal apraxia and fine motor skills

so we're continuing with a part-time playroom outside of school. Day-to-day

life, family life is at ease now. Things still happen, sure, but the ability for

us all to be together and have fun is so special to us. The miracle of life

being lived and shared is

profound and we don't take what others deem commonplace as a given. Loving,

laughing, singing, standing on one foot, holding a crayon with a tripod grasp,

shaping " t " sounds from the front of the mouth, to guttural " k " sounds in the

back of the throat are gifts to us. Sam is on his way. He has his own life now,

his own choices and experiences. This is so exciting, a delight, and a gift.

Imagine, what was so hard and exhausting has opened up a new world for me. I've

just begun taking adult programs (PowerDialogues, Radical Authenticity, Advanced

PowerDialogues and Inner Strength) at the Option Institute and have decided to

enter a training program in order to become a certified Option Process

Mentor/Counselor. I want to help families understand how the " attitude " and

becoming aware of defeating beliefs and changing them for themselves can

thoroughly energize and facilitate their Son-Rise playroom or any adventure they

choose to take. To give from the fullness of my love and gratitude is a

tremendous joy.

Thank you,

Liz Zawada.

Child: Sam, age 7