Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

March 12, 2009

When my son was first mainstreamed in 2nd grade I was extremely nervous about

peer teasing/etc. I think we've been extremely blessed with a great group of

kids in his class every year, though. They take turns being a " teacher " to my

son when they are finished with thier assignments and love to be his buddy in

the hallways/at lunch. Over-all the school is very tolerant and embracing of

all children. There is a local school for the deaf and blind next door and the

two schools share a lot of programs.

But what I do every year is go in to the classroom at the end of the first week

or beginning of the second- while my son is out with an aide or therapist- and

tell a little about what makes him different and do a question/answer time.

Waiting a few days allows the kids to notice he's different and it allows them

opprotunities to question why he does things. And I offer ways that they can

help him, which creates a feeling of importance most kids jump at.

-

______________________________________

" You must write for children in the same way as you do for adults, only better. "

-Maxim Gorky (Aleksey Maksimovich Peshkov)

Reality lies beyond the horizon... Wonderwegian

sales clerk rude about our child

> >

> > We had a very disturbing experience today that I

> > feel moved to share with all of you. At the Dollar

> > General store in Marietta today, our almost 3 yo son

> > w/ASD became fixated on finding the perfect alphabet

> > letters (this is what he tends to obsess with). This

> > escalated into him becoming very upset, crying and

> > running around the store. Understanding that this

> > may not be the most pleasant thing for other

> > customers, I immediately and calmly assisted him out

> > of the store, leaving my husband to pay for our

> > items. A female sales clerk said to the man who was

> > at the cash register checking my husband out, " If

> > that were my kid, I would beat his a--! " She

> > repeated this along with a few other unfavorably

> > opinions about our son after the guy at the register

> > wasn't really responding. My husband, who normally

> > keeps his cool, asked " Why, because he has autism? "

> > She only responded with a " Well, I didn't know. " No

> > apology, no remorse....

> >

> > Have any of you experienced anything like this? If

> > so, how did you handle this?

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> > No virus found in this incoming message

> >

> > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > 10.100.065).

> >

> > http://www.pctools. com/free- antivirus/

> >

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> >

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> > 10.100.065).

> >

> > http://www.pctools. com/free- antivirus/

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

>

> May the Lord bless you and keep you!

>

> Visit my blog

>

> http://bloominwhereyourplanted.blogspot.com/

>

No virus found in this incoming message

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March 12, 2009

The children in his class are fine, but the kids in the other classes are the

problem. I also deal with these same kids outside of school as well.

> From: C. - Wonderwegian <carriecox@...>

> Subject: Re: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

>

> Date: Thursday, March 12, 2009, 5:30 PM

> When my son was first mainstreamed in 2nd grade I was

> extremely nervous about peer teasing/etc. I think we've

> been extremely blessed with a great group of kids in his

> class every year, though. They take turns being a

> " teacher " to my son when they are finished with

> thier assignments and love to be his buddy in the

> hallways/at lunch. Over-all the school is very tolerant and

> embracing of all children. There is a local school for the

> deaf and blind next door and the two schools share a lot of

> programs.

>

> But what I do every year is go in to the classroom at the

> end of the first week or beginning of the second- while my

> son is out with an aide or therapist- and tell a little

> about what makes him different and do a question/answer

> time. Waiting a few days allows the kids to notice he's

> different and it allows them opprotunities to question why

> he does things. And I offer ways that they can help him,

> which creates a feeling of importance most kids jump at.

>

> -

>

> ______________________________________

>

> " You must write for children in the same way as you do

> for adults, only better. " -Maxim Gorky (Aleksey

> Maksimovich Peshkov)

>

> Reality lies beyond the horizon... Wonderwegian

>

> sales clerk rude about our

> child

> > >

> > > We had a very disturbing experience today that

> I

> > > feel moved to share with all of you. At the

> Dollar

> > > General store in Marietta today, our almost 3

> yo son

> > > w/ASD became fixated on finding the perfect

> alphabet

> > > letters (this is what he tends to obsess with).

> This

> > > escalated into him becoming very upset, crying

> and

> > > running around the store. Understanding that

> this

> > > may not be the most pleasant thing for other

> > > customers, I immediately and calmly assisted

> him out

> > > of the store, leaving my husband to pay for our

> > > items. A female sales clerk said to the man who

> was

> > > at the cash register checking my husband out,

> " If

> > > that were my kid, I would beat his a--! "

> She

> > > repeated this along with a few other

> unfavorably

> > > opinions about our son after the guy at the

> register

> > > wasn't really responding. My husband, who

> normally

> > > keeps his cool, asked " Why, because he has

> autism? "

> > > She only responded with a " Well, I

> didn't know. " No

> > > apology, no remorse....

> > >

> > > Have any of you experienced anything like this?

> If

> > > so, how did you handle this?

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > >

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > 10.100.065).

> > >

> > > http://www.pctools. com/free- antivirus/

> > >

> > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > >

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > 10.100.065).

> > >

> > > http://www.pctools. com/free- antivirus/

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> >

> > May the Lord bless you and keep you!

> >

> > Visit my blog

> >

> > http://bloominwhereyourplanted.blogspot.com/

> >

>

> No virus found in this incoming message

> Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

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>

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>

March 13, 2009

We, too, have a son who is mainstreamed and have been fortunate to have a great

group of kids who have been with us since kindergarten. It does my heart good to

hear how many kids say " hi, Noah " as we're leaving campus at the end of the day.

They're not put off when he doesn't respond right away; they just keep trying.

Noah's aide is responsible for fostering much of this attitude in Noah's

classmates. I've always had an " open door " policy where Noah's disability is

concerned. I give his teachers and his aide permission to discuss his issues

with anyone who asks. They know when he doesn't respond to a greeting or

questions that he isn't being rude. They all know to wait for a response, and

they're all eager to help him and prompt him when needed.

I'm truly pleased with our mainstreaming experience and the capacity of

compassion and understanding that many children have.

All the best,

Robyn

> From: C. - Wonderwegian <carriecox@...>

> Subject: Re: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

>

> Date: Thursday, March 12, 2009, 3:30 PM

> When my son was first mainstreamed in 2nd grade I was

> extremely nervous about peer teasing/etc. I think we've

> been extremely blessed with a great group of kids in his

> class every year, though. They take turns being a

> " teacher " to my son when they are finished with

> thier assignments and love to be his buddy in the

> hallways/at lunch. Over-all the school is very tolerant and

> embracing of all children. There is a local school for the

> deaf and blind next door and the two schools share a lot of

> programs.

>

> But what I do every year is go in to the classroom at the

> end of the first week or beginning of the second- while my

> son is out with an aide or therapist- and tell a little

> about what makes him different and do a question/answer

> time. Waiting a few days allows the kids to notice he's

> different and it allows them opprotunities to question why

> he does things. And I offer ways that they can help him,

> which creates a feeling of importance most kids jump at.

>

> -

>

> ______________________________________

>

> " You must write for children in the same way as you do

> for adults, only better. " -Maxim Gorky (Aleksey

> Maksimovich Peshkov)

>

> Reality lies beyond the horizon... Wonderwegian

>

> sales clerk rude about our

> child

> > >

> > > We had a very disturbing experience today that

> I

> > > feel moved to share with all of you. At the

> Dollar

> > > General store in Marietta today, our almost 3

> yo son

> > > w/ASD became fixated on finding the perfect

> alphabet

> > > letters (this is what he tends to obsess with).

> This

> > > escalated into him becoming very upset, crying

> and

> > > running around the store. Understanding that

> this

> > > may not be the most pleasant thing for other

> > > customers, I immediately and calmly assisted

> him out

> > > of the store, leaving my husband to pay for our

> > > items. A female sales clerk said to the man who

> was

> > > at the cash register checking my husband out,

> " If

> > > that were my kid, I would beat his a--! "

> She

> > > repeated this along with a few other

> unfavorably

> > > opinions about our son after the guy at the

> register

> > > wasn't really responding. My husband, who

> normally

> > > keeps his cool, asked " Why, because he has

> autism? "

> > > She only responded with a " Well, I

> didn't know. " No

> > > apology, no remorse....

> > >

> > > Have any of you experienced anything like this?

> If

> > > so, how did you handle this?

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > >

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > 10.100.065).

> > >

> > > http://www.pctools. com/free- antivirus/

> > >

> > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > >

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > 10.100.065).

> > >

> > > http://www.pctools. com/free- antivirus/

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> >

> > May the Lord bless you and keep you!

> >

> > Visit my blog

> >

> > http://bloominwhereyourplanted.blogspot.com/

> >

>

> No virus found in this incoming message

> Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

> http://www.pctools.com/free-antivirus/

>

> No virus found in this outgoing message

> Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

> http://www.pctools.com/free-antivirus/

>

March 13, 2009

>

> The children in his class are fine, but the kids in the other classes are the

problem. I also deal with these same kids outside of school as well.

>

I deal with the kids outside of his class the same way I deal with the kids in

his class -- explain his disability, explain that he got it from being very sick

when he was a baby, and most importantly, that they can help him recover by

being kind and teaching him the right, not by teasing and picking on him. That

almost always turns them around. I notice that the kids who have had his

disability explained to them will not just include him in their activities, but

will protect him and stick up for him when the bullies come around.

Donna

March 13, 2009

Donna, Noah's aide and I take the same stance with kids both inside and outside

of the classroom. I don't think I posted this story, but it really touched my

heart. An 11 year-old girl who has mild MR asked Noah's aide one day why Noah

didn't talk. Noah's aide replied that he can talk, it just takes him longer

sometimes. She asked if something was wrong with his brain. Noah's aide said

that everyone's brain works a little differently and Noah is no exception. The

girl then asked what she could do to help Noah be more normal like her. First, I

marveled at her compassion for my son, and then I thought how wonderful it was

that she considered herself " normal. "

It was very sweet!

all the best,

Robyn

> From: thefamily007 <donnaaron@...>

> Subject: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

>

> Date: Friday, March 13, 2009, 10:20 AM

>

> >

> > The children in his class are fine, but the kids in

> the other classes are the problem. I also deal with these

> same kids outside of school as well.

> >

>

> I deal with the kids outside of his class the same way I

> deal with the kids in his class -- explain his disability,

> explain that he got it from being very sick when he was a

> baby, and most importantly, that they can help him recover

> by being kind and teaching him the right, not by teasing and

> picking on him. That almost always turns them around. I

> notice that the kids who have had his disability explained

> to them will not just include him in their activities, but

> will protect him and stick up for him when the bullies come

> around.

>

> Donna

March 14, 2009

The irony of the whole situation is that we are having problems with these

people because they have... poor social skills. Sound familiar? I hope

that we can teach our children to act better than these people as adults. I

have realized that so many people I used to perceive as arrogant really have

problems with their social skills. The kids my older son has had the worst

problems with at middle school have been those who have their own ³issues².

I¹ve made sure to point that fact out to him in the past... and it made him

feel a little better. I¹ve told him that about the adults as well.

I have a problem in these public situations in that I can¹t seem to compose

myself and channel my frustration into anything useful... I generally start

to cry, which I HATE but I can¹t seem to stop myself. Then my face gets all

blotchy and I just want to leave because people start asking what¹s wrong,

and I can¹t talk or I¹ll cry more so I just generally try to get the heck

out of Dodge. I wish I could toughen myself up in this regard but I just

don¹t know how. I guess I feel intimidated. I'm really not much a crier,

but these situations really upset me. I did manage once to say something to

a woman at the pediatric office who told my son that he was too old (at age

4) to ride in a (large) stroller. He was having horrific seizures and the

only way I could take him anywhere was in the stroller unless he wore his

padded helmet (which he hated and got too hot in) and he was having trouble

walking at that time anyway.

It¹s so hard to deal with these situations. I like the idea of being able

to hand someone a card (because then I wouldn¹t have to talk!), and I found

some good ideas online. I tried to post links, but once again my e-mail

wouldn't post with links. If you Google " autism cards " you'll find some

really good ideas, though (some are better than others)... you could easily

change them to something that fit your child.

Caroline G.

March 16, 2009

Robyn it truly is wonderful that your child has that experience but

unfortunately all too often it is the exception and not the rule.

Our experience was that the children in mainstream, particularly the girls,

were incredibly supportive in the early years, however as they moved up

grades and the developmental difference became more noticeable, and coupled

with

at times an overt combination of intolerance and discrimination from key

adults the impact was pervasive and ultimately the children who had supported

in

the early years became either totally indifferent or worse the bullies!

The House of Commons Education and Skills Committee (SPECIAL EDUCATIONAL

NEEDS 2005- 2006 United Kingdom) concluded a few years ago that the Special

Education delivery 'was not fit for purpose'. This exactly matched our son's

experience of mainstream inclusive education and clearly our own Government's

appointed review body agreed and life has not changed in the few years since.

I think the key ingredient to your success is the involvement of your

admirable aide (coupled with your open door policy) and Noah's experience

proves

what responsible and caring individuals can achieve by simply being a bridge to

establish tolerance and understanding and ultimately provide what

mainstreaming was meant to achieve (and at which it is still failing) at least

on one

level!

In a message dated 13/03/2009 16:00:19 GMT Standard Time,

rngcoggs@... writes:

We, too, have a son who is mainstreamed and have been fortunate to have a

great group of kids who have been with us since kindergarten. It does my heart

good to hear how many kids say " hi, Noah " as we're leaving campus at the end

of the day. They're not put off when he doesn't respond right away; they just

keep trying. Noah's aide is responsible for fostering much of this attitude

in Noah's classmates. I've always had an " open door " policy where Noah's

disability is concerned. I give his teachers and his aide permission to discuss

his issues with anyone who asks. They know when he doesn't respond to a

greeting or questions that he isn't being rude. They all know to wait for a

response, and they're all eager to help him and prompt him when needed.

I'm truly pleased with our mainstreaming experience and the capacity of

compassion and understanding that many children have.

All the best,

Robyn

> From: C. - Wonderwegian <_carriecox@..._

(mailto:carriecox@...) >

> Subject: Re: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

> _@..._ (mailto: )

> Date: Thursday, March 12, 2009, 3:30 PM

> When my son was first mainstreamed in 2nd grade I was

> extremely nervous about peer teasing/etc. I think we've

> been extremely blessed with a great group of kids in his

> class every year, though. They take turns being a

> " teacher " to my son when they are finished with

> thier assignments and love to be his buddy in the

> hallways/at lunch. Over-all the school is very tolerant and

> embracing of all children. There is a local school for the

> deaf and blind next door and the two schools share a lot of

> programs.

>

> But what I do every year is go in to the classroom at the

> end of the first week or beginning of the second- while my

> son is out with an aide or therapist- and tell a little

> about what makes him different and do a question/answer

> time. Waiting a few days allows the kids to notice he's

> different and it allows them opprotunities to question why

> he does things. And I offer ways that they can help him,

> which creates a feeling of importance most kids jump at.

>

> -

>

> ____________ ____ ____ ___

>

> " You must write for children in the same way as you do

> for adults, only better. " -Maxim Gorky (Aleksey

> Maksimovich Peshkov)

>

> Reality lies beyond the horizon... Wonderwegian

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: fredacurl

> _@..._ (mailto: )

> Sent: Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:33 PM

> Subject: Re: sales clerk rude about our child

>

> > > From: C. - Wonderwegian

> <carriecox@.ca>

> > > Subject: Re: sales clerk rude about our

> child

> > > _@..._ (mailto: )

> > > Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2009, 1:28 PM

> > >

> > > I think it's usually best just to ignore

> things like

> > > that- easier said than done!

> > >

> > > But since it was an employee, a call to

> management

> > > would be in order. Date, time, clerk's

> name, etc is

> > > helpful.

> > >

> > > I've left public places in tears over the

> > > frustration of trying to control an

> out-of-control

> > > preschooler and feeling ashamed as being

> labeled a

> > > failure as a mother by outsiders. People can be

> > > heartless and judgemental.

> > >

> > > If I was assertive enough, which I'm

> usually not,

> > > and I'd heard the clerk say what she said

> about your

> > > child I'd speak up with " I'm glad

> he's not your

> > > kid. "

> > >

> > > I have heard of some people that carry

> notes/cards/

> > > brochures about autism and handing them out

> when

> > > they get weird looks or someone says something

> about

> > > their child.

> > >

> > > One thing I did do when my son (now 10) was

> younger

> > > was put him in an " Unlocking Autism "

> t-shirt when we

> > > went to the mall or park so at least literate

> people

> > > with some-what of a clue would understand a

> little

> > > about his behaviors.

> > >

> > > Or during Autism Awareness month, or whenever,

> wear

> > > a ribbon. I've made autism puzzle piece

> ribbons with

> > > an actual puzzle piece attached with

> " N.I.D.S. "

> > > written on it, so when people ask I can say my

> son

> > > has NeuroImmune Dysfunction Sydrome which

> causes

> > > many autistic-like symptoms.

> > >

> > > All the best!

> > >

> > > - in Mobile, AL

> > >

> > > ____________ _________ _________ ________

> > >

> > > " You must write for children in the same

> way as you

> > > do for adults, only better. " -Maxim Gorky

> (Aleksey

> > > Maksimovich Peshkov)

> > >

> > > Reality lies beyond the horizon... Wonderwegian

> > >

> > > ----- Original Message -----

> > >

> > > From: Tamela & Geoff Cole

> > >

> > > nfasggroups (DOT) com ; nidsgroups (DOT)

> com ;

> > > FloortimeATL@ groups. com

> > >

> > > Sent: Sunday, March 08, 2009 8:06 PM

> > >

> > > Subject: sales clerk rude about our

> child

> > >

> > > We had a very disturbing experience today that

> I

> > > feel moved to share with all of you. At the

> Dollar

> > > General store in Marietta today, our almost 3

> yo son

> > > w/ASD became fixated on finding the perfect

> alphabet

> > > letters (this is what he tends to obsess with).

> This

> > > escalated into him becoming very upset, crying

> and

> > > running around the store. Understanding that

> this

> > > may not be the most pleasant thing for other

> > > customers, I immediately and calmly assisted

> him out

> > > of the store, leaving my husband to pay for our

> > > items. A female sales clerk said to the man who

> was

> > > at the cash register checking my husband out,

> " If

> > > that were my kid, I would beat his a--! "

> She

> > > repeated this along with a few other

> unfavorably

> > > opinions about our son after the guy at the

> register

> > > wasn't really responding. My husband, who

> normally

> > > keeps his cool, asked " Why, because he has

> autism? "

> > > She only responded with a " Well, I

> didn't know. " No

> > > apology, no remorse....

> > >

> > > Have any of you experienced anything like this?

> If

> > > so, how did you handle this?

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > >

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > 10.100.065).

> > >

> > > _http://www.pctools._'>http://www.pctools._ (http://www.pctools./) com/free- antivirus/

> > >

> > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > >

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > 10.100.065).

> > >

> > > _http://www.pctools._'>http://www.pctools._ (http://www.pctools./) com/free- antivirus/

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > removed]

> > >

> >

> > May the Lord bless you and keep you!

> >

> > Visit my blog

> >

> > _http://bloominwherehttp://bloomhttp://blhttp_

(http://bloominwhereyourplanted.blogspot.com/)

> >

>

> No virus found in this incoming message

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>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

March 20, 2009

Robyn,

Where were you when my son was going through the horrible middle school

years? I wish I had read your post then. This is such good advice for all

kids:

.. My older son who is in the fourth grade and has Asperger's is experiencing

that [teasing and bullying] for the first time this year. We've enrolled him

in martial arts to improve his self confidence, worked on social skills, and

most importantly, we've drilled into him that the words of others have no

power unless you give them power. If kids know their comments upset you,

they will continue. If you don't react, they'll find someone else to pick

on.

These experiences do affect them. My son is now in college and he has real

friends for the first time in his life. His confidence was hurt by the

bullying. Although he has overcome the bullying it took some time. We

actually moved from Minnesota to California at his request to give him a

fresh start. It was one of the best things we ever did.

Marcia

March 20, 2009

Thanks, Marcia. I believe that one of the best things a parent can do is to

bully proof their child and to ensure that their child isn't bullying others.

Too many times, though, parents don't think their child is capable of being a

bully. I remember watching a video called " J.J.'s Story. " He was a victim of

bullying that hurt him deeply. The bullies' parents decided to blame J.J. and

didn't want to hear about the behavior of their children. It was as if they felt

J.J. deserved to be bullied because he was different.

Makes me furious!

Thanks, Marcia, for your kind words and for sharing your story. You've paved a

wonderful road for the rest of us to travel on.

All the best,

Robyn

> From: Marcia Hinds <hindssite@...>

> Subject: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

> rngcoggs@...,

> Date: Friday, March 20, 2009, 6:00 AM

> Robyn,

>

> Where were you when my son was going through the horrible

> middle school

> years? I wish I had read your post then. This is such

> good advice for all

> kids:

>

> . My older son who is in the fourth grade and has

> Asperger's is experiencing

> that [teasing and bullying] for the first time this year.

> We've enrolled him

> in martial arts to improve his self confidence, worked on

> social skills, and

> most importantly, we've drilled into him that the words

> of others have no

> power unless you give them power. If kids know their

> comments upset you,

> they will continue. If you don't react, they'll

> find someone else to pick

> on.

>

> These experiences do affect them. My son is now in college

> and he has real

> friends for the first time in his life. His confidence was

> hurt by the

> bullying. Although he has overcome the bullying it took

> some time. We

> actually moved from Minnesota to California at his request

> to give him a

> fresh start. It was one of the best things we ever did.

>

> Marcia

>

March 23, 2009

Martial arts (Tae Kwon Do) has been great for my 5 yo son. In fact, Dr. G was

the one who said he should get involved. I was skeptical at first, didn't think

he could follow along. But the Master at the Dojang offered private lessons at

the group price, and after two months, he joined a group. He has been doing it

for four months now and I can't imagine him ever stopping.

>

> Robyn,

>

> Where were you when my son was going through the horrible middle school

> years? I wish I had read your post then. This is such good advice for all

> kids:

>

> . My older son who is in the fourth grade and has Asperger's is experiencing

> that [teasing and bullying] for the first time this year. We've enrolled him

> in martial arts to improve his self confidence, worked on social skills, and

> most importantly, we've drilled into him that the words of others have no

> power unless you give them power. If kids know their comments upset you,

> they will continue. If you don't react, they'll find someone else to pick

> on.

>

> These experiences do affect them. My son is now in college and he has real

> friends for the first time in his life. His confidence was hurt by the

> bullying. Although he has overcome the bullying it took some time. We

> actually moved from Minnesota to California at his request to give him a

> fresh start. It was one of the best things we ever did.

>

> Marcia

>

March 23, 2009

I may try something like that with my son. Before the protocol, he only

lasted 5 minutes in that similiar class. The protocol has improved him so much

plus he is more mature.

From: <ljburns83@...>

Subject: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

Date: Monday, March 23, 2009, 3:47 PM

Martial arts (Tae Kwon Do) has been great for my 5 yo son. In fact, Dr. G was

the one who said he should get involved. I was skeptical at first, didn't think

he could follow along. But the Master at the Dojang offered private lessons at

the group price, and after two months, he joined a group. He has been doing it

for four months now and I can't imagine him ever stopping.

>

> Robyn,

>

> Where were you when my son was going through the horrible middle school

> years? I wish I had read your post then. This is such good advice for all

> kids:

>

> . My older son who is in the fourth grade and has Asperger's is experiencing

> that [teasing and bullying] for the first time this year. We've enrolled him

> in martial arts to improve his self confidence, worked on social skills, and

> most importantly, we've drilled into him that the words of others have no

> power unless you give them power. If kids know their comments upset you,

> they will continue. If you don't react, they'll find someone else to pick

> on.

>

> These experiences do affect them. My son is now in college and he has real

> friends for the first time in his life. His confidence was hurt by the

> bullying. Although he has overcome the bullying it took some time. We

> actually moved from Minnesota to California at his request to give him a

> fresh start. It was one of the best things we ever did.

>

> Marcia

>

August 23, 2009

Hi Robyn, my 12 y/o son was recently Dx'd with Asperger's and has suffered

teasing and peer shunning most if not all of his school career (in fact, he

could have gone down the road of becoming a bully himself in response, if we

hadnt' gotten him into therapy for anger management, etc...at the time all we

knew was ADHD and gifted...) Anyway, my question is, are you doing for your

son and if so, how old was he when you started, and have you seen much change?

We're trying to play catch-up here and also prioritize the spending of our

limited resources. We've never given much dairy because of intolerance as an

infant, and he has agreed to cut it back further, although he loves cheese and

may change his mind when he doesn't get his quesadillas.

Thanks,

Carol

> > > > > From: C. - Wonderwegian

> > > <carriecox@...>

> > > > > Subject: Re: sales clerk rude about

> > our

> > > child

> > > > > _@..._

> > (mailto: )

> > > > > Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2009, 1:28 PM

> > > > >

> > > > > I think it's usually best just to

> > ignore

> > > things like

> > > > > that- easier said than done!

> > > > >

> > > > > But since it was an employee, a call to

> > > management

> > > > > would be in order. Date, time, clerk's

> > > name, etc is

> > > > > helpful.

> > > > >

> > > > > I've left public places in tears over

> > the

> > > > > frustration of trying to control an

> > > out-of-control

> > > > > preschooler and feeling ashamed as being

> > > labeled a

> > > > > failure as a mother by outsiders. People

> > can be

> > > > > heartless and judgemental.

> > > > >

> > > > > If I was assertive enough, which I'm

> > > usually not,

> > > > > and I'd heard the clerk say what she

> > said

> > > about your

> > > > > child I'd speak up with " I'm

> > glad

> > > he's not your

> > > > > kid. "

> > > > >

> > > > > I have heard of some people that carry

> > > notes/cards/

> > > > > brochures about autism and handing them out

> > > when

> > > > > they get weird looks or someone says

> > something

> > > about

> > > > > their child.

> > > > >

> > > > > One thing I did do when my son (now 10) was

> > > younger

> > > > > was put him in an " Unlocking

> > Autism "

> > > t-shirt when we

> > > > > went to the mall or park so at least

> > literate

> > > people

> > > > > with some-what of a clue would understand a

> > > little

> > > > > about his behaviors.

> > > > >

> > > > > Or during Autism Awareness month, or

> > whenever,

> > > wear

> > > > > a ribbon. I've made autism puzzle piece

> > > ribbons with

> > > > > an actual puzzle piece attached with

> > > " N.I.D.S. "

> > > > > written on it, so when people ask I can say

> > my

> > > son

> > > > > has NeuroImmune Dysfunction Sydrome which

> > > causes

> > > > > many autistic-like symptoms.

> > > > >

> > > > > All the best!

> > > > >

> > > > > - in Mobile, AL

> > > > >

> > > > > ____________ _________ _________ ________

> > > > >

> > > > > " You must write for children in the

> > same

> > > way as you

> > > > > do for adults, only better. " -Maxim

> > Gorky

> > > (Aleksey

> > > > > Maksimovich Peshkov)

> > > > >

> > > > > Reality lies beyond the horizon...

> > Wonderwegian

> > > > >

> > > > > ----- Original Message -----

> > > > >

> > > > > From: Tamela & Geoff Cole

> > > > >

> > > > > nfasggroups (DOT) com ;

> > nidsgroups (DOT)

> > > com ;

> > > > > FloortimeATL@ groups. com

> > > > >

> > > > > Sent: Sunday, March 08, 2009 8:06 PM

> > > > >

> > > > > Subject: sales clerk rude about our

> > > child

> > > > >

> > > > > We had a very disturbing experience today

> > that

> > > I

> > > > > feel moved to share with all of you. At the

> > > Dollar

> > > > > General store in Marietta today, our almost

> > 3

> > > yo son

> > > > > w/ASD became fixated on finding the perfect

> > > alphabet

> > > > > letters (this is what he tends to obsess

> > with).

> > > This

> > > > > escalated into him becoming very upset,

> > crying

> > > and

> > > > > running around the store. Understanding

> > that

> > > this

> > > > > may not be the most pleasant thing for

> > other

> > > > > customers, I immediately and calmly

> > assisted

> > > him out

> > > > > of the store, leaving my husband to pay for

> > our

> > > > > items. A female sales clerk said to the man

> > who

> > > was

> > > > > at the cash register checking my husband

> > out,

> > > " If

> > > > > that were my kid, I would beat his

> > a--! "

> > > She

> > > > > repeated this along with a few other

> > > unfavorably

> > > > > opinions about our son after the guy at the

> > > register

> > > > > wasn't really responding. My husband,

> > who

> > > normally

> > > > > keeps his cool, asked " Why, because he

> > has

> > > autism? "

> > > > > She only responded with a " Well, I

> > > didn't know. " No

> > > > > apology, no remorse....

> > > > >

> > > > > Have any of you experienced anything like

> > this?

> > > If

> > > > > so, how did you handle this?

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > > > >

> > > > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > > > 10.100.065).

> > > > >

> > > > > _http://www.pctools._'>http://www.pctools._ (http://www.pctools./)

> > com/free- antivirus/

> > > > >

> > > > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > > > >

> > > > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > > > 10.100.065).

> > > > >

> > > > > _http://www.pctools._'>http://www.pctools._

> > (http://www.pctools./) com/free- antivirus/

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > > May the Lord bless you and keep you!

> > > >

> > > > Visit my blog

> > > >

> > > > _http://bloominwherehttp://bloomhttp://blhttp_

> > (http://bloominwhereyourplanted.blogspot.com/)

> > > >

> > >

> > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

> > > _http://www.pctools.http://wwhttp://www_

> > (http://www.pctools.com/free-antivirus/)

> > >

> > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

> > > _http://www.pctools.http://wwhttp://www_

> > (http://www.pctools.com/free-antivirus/)

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> >

August 25, 2009

My son does fine with goat cheese, and I'm seeing it more and more in

'regular' stores. Trader Joe's now carries goat cheese shredded mozzarella.

Kristy

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

newleaflady

Sent: Sunday, August 23, 2009 1:10 PM

Subject: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

Hi Robyn, my 12 y/o son was recently Dx'd with Asperger's and has suffered

teasing and peer shunning most if not all of his school career (in fact, he

could have gone down the road of becoming a bully himself in response, if we

hadnt' gotten him into therapy for anger management, etc...at the time all

we knew was ADHD and gifted...) Anyway, my question is, are you doing

for your son and if so, how old was he when you started, and have you seen

much change? We're trying to play catch-up here and also prioritize the

spending of our limited resources. We've never given much dairy because of

intolerance as an infant, and he has agreed to cut it back further, although

he loves cheese and may change his mind when he doesn't get his quesadillas.

Thanks,

Carol

> > > > > From: C. - Wonderwegian

> > > <carriecox@...>

> > > > > Subject: Re: sales clerk rude about

> > our

> > > child

> > > > > _@..._

> > (mailto: <mailto:%40> )

> > > > > Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2009, 1:28 PM

> > > > >

> > > > > I think it's usually best just to

> > ignore

> > > things like

> > > > > that- easier said than done!

> > > > >

> > > > > But since it was an employee, a call to

> > > management

> > > > > would be in order. Date, time, clerk's

> > > name, etc is

> > > > > helpful.

> > > > >

> > > > > I've left public places in tears over

> > the

> > > > > frustration of trying to control an

> > > out-of-control

> > > > > preschooler and feeling ashamed as being

> > > labeled a

> > > > > failure as a mother by outsiders. People

> > can be

> > > > > heartless and judgemental.

> > > > >

> > > > > If I was assertive enough, which I'm

> > > usually not,

> > > > > and I'd heard the clerk say what she

> > said

> > > about your

> > > > > child I'd speak up with " I'm

> > glad

> > > he's not your

> > > > > kid. "

> > > > >

> > > > > I have heard of some people that carry

> > > notes/cards/

> > > > > brochures about autism and handing them out

> > > when

> > > > > they get weird looks or someone says

> > something

> > > about

> > > > > their child.

> > > > >

> > > > > One thing I did do when my son (now 10) was

> > > younger

> > > > > was put him in an " Unlocking

> > Autism "

> > > t-shirt when we

> > > > > went to the mall or park so at least

> > literate

> > > people

> > > > > with some-what of a clue would understand a

> > > little

> > > > > about his behaviors.

> > > > >

> > > > > Or during Autism Awareness month, or

> > whenever,

> > > wear

> > > > > a ribbon. I've made autism puzzle piece

> > > ribbons with

> > > > > an actual puzzle piece attached with

> > > " N.I.D.S. "

> > > > > written on it, so when people ask I can say

> > my

> > > son

> > > > > has NeuroImmune Dysfunction Sydrome which

> > > causes

> > > > > many autistic-like symptoms.

> > > > >

> > > > > All the best!

> > > > >

> > > > > - in Mobile, AL

> > > > >

> > > > > ____________ _________ _________ ________

> > > > >

> > > > > " You must write for children in the

> > same

> > > way as you

> > > > > do for adults, only better. " -Maxim

> > Gorky

> > > (Aleksey

> > > > > Maksimovich Peshkov)

> > > > >

> > > > > Reality lies beyond the horizon...

> > Wonderwegian

> > > > >

> > > > > sales clerk rude about our

> > > child

> > > > >

> > > > > We had a very disturbing experience today

> > that

> > > I

> > > > > feel moved to share with all of you. At the

> > > Dollar

> > > > > General store in Marietta today, our almost

> > 3

> > > yo son

> > > > > w/ASD became fixated on finding the perfect

> > > alphabet

> > > > > letters (this is what he tends to obsess

> > with).

> > > This

> > > > > escalated into him becoming very upset,

> > crying

> > > and

> > > > > running around the store. Understanding

> > that

> > > this

> > > > > may not be the most pleasant thing for

> > other

> > > > > customers, I immediately and calmly

> > assisted

> > > him out

> > > > > of the store, leaving my husband to pay for

> > our

> > > > > items. A female sales clerk said to the man

> > who

> > > was

> > > > > at the cash register checking my husband

> > out,

> > > " If

> > > > > that were my kid, I would beat his

> > a--! "

> > > She

> > > > > repeated this along with a few other

> > > unfavorably

> > > > > opinions about our son after the guy at the

> > > register

> > > > > wasn't really responding. My husband,

> > who

> > > normally

> > > > > keeps his cool, asked " Why, because he

> > has

> > > autism? "

> > > > > She only responded with a " Well, I

> > > didn't know. " No

> > > > > apology, no remorse....

> > > > >

> > > > > Have any of you experienced anything like

> > this?

> > > If

> > > > > so, how did you handle this?

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > > > >

> > > > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > > > 10.100.065).

> > > > >

> > > > > _http://www.pctools._'>http://www.pctools._ (http://www.pctools./)

> > com/free- antivirus/

> > > > >

> > > > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > > > >

> > > > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > > > 10.100.065).

> > > > >

> > > > > _http://www.pctools._'>http://www.pctools._

> > (http://www.pctools./) com/free- antivirus/

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > > May the Lord bless you and keep you!

> > > >

> > > > Visit my blog

> > > >

> > > > _http://bloominwherehttp://bloomhttp://blhttp_

<http://bloominwherehttp:/bloomhttp:/blhttp_>

> > (http://bloominwhereyourplanted.blogspot.com/)

> > > >

> > >

> > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

> > > _http://www.pctools.http://wwhttp://www_

<http://www.pctools.http:/wwhttp:/www_>

> > (http://www.pctools.com/free-antivirus/)

> > >

> > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

> > > _http://www.pctools.http://wwhttp://www_

<http://www.pctools.http:/wwhttp:/www_>

> > (http://www.pctools.com/free-antivirus/)

> > >

August 25, 2009

Hi, Carol.

I have three boys and all are on the protocol as well as myself. My oldest is

Asperger's, my middle son mild/moderate " A " word and my youngest is ADHD with

lots of impulse control issues. The protocol has made a huge difference in our

lives. My most severely affected son was very ill when we started the protocol

and within four months, his physical ailments improved immensely. , the

one with Asperger's, has been on the protocol about 15 months and has gone from

a B-/C student to a 4.0 gpa. We still have a lot to do, especially in the area

of organization, follow through, attention, etc., but we're well on our way.

Socially, he's improving as well, but not as quickly as in other areas. He's

learned that he has control over his actions and words and is responsible for

how he responds to others. He's now able to see situations from the perspective

of others, which is something he's really struggled with.

My little guy just started first grade and we had anger management and impulse

control issues with him. We've gotten him to the point where he can control

himself at school, but by the time, he gets home, watch out! LOL. I see

improvements every week, though, so I'm hopeful and grateful.

I hope this helps. If you need any more information, please let me know.

All the best,

Robyn

From: newleaflady <carolemorris@...>

Subject: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing

Date: Sunday, August 23, 2009, 1:09 PM

Hi Robyn, my 12 y/o son was recently Dx'd with Asperger's and

has suffered teasing and peer shunning most if not all of his school career (in

fact, he could have gone down the road of becoming a bully himself in response,

if we hadnt' gotten him into therapy for anger management, etc...at the time all

we knew was ADHD and gifted...) Anyway, my question is, are you doing for

your son and if so, how old was he when you started, and have you seen much

change? We're trying to play catch-up here and also prioritize the spending of

our limited resources. We've never given much dairy because of intolerance as an

infant, and he has agreed to cut it back further, although he loves cheese and

may change his mind when he doesn't get his quesadillas.

Thanks,

Carol

> > > > > From: C. - Wonderwegian

> > > <carriecox@. ..>

> > > > > Subject: Re: sales clerk rude about

> > our

> > > child

> > > > > _@..._

> > (mailto:groups (DOT) com)

> > > > > Date: Wednesday, March 11, 2009, 1:28 PM

> > > > >

> > > > > I think it's usually best just to

> > ignore

> > > things like

> > > > > that- easier said than done!

> > > > >

> > > > > But since it was an employee, a call to

> > > management

> > > > > would be in order. Date, time, clerk's

> > > name, etc is

> > > > > helpful.

> > > > >

> > > > > I've left public places in tears over

> > the

> > > > > frustration of trying to control an

> > > out-of-control

> > > > > preschooler and feeling ashamed as being

> > > labeled a

> > > > > failure as a mother by outsiders. People

> > can be

> > > > > heartless and judgemental.

> > > > >

> > > > > If I was assertive enough, which I'm

> > > usually not,

> > > > > and I'd heard the clerk say what she

> > said

> > > about your

> > > > > child I'd speak up with " I'm

> > glad

> > > he's not your

> > > > > kid. "

> > > > >

> > > > > I have heard of some people that carry

> > > notes/cards/

> > > > > brochures about autism and handing them out

> > > when

> > > > > they get weird looks or someone says

> > something

> > > about

> > > > > their child.

> > > > >

> > > > > One thing I did do when my son (now 10) was

> > > younger

> > > > > was put him in an " Unlocking

> > Autism "

> > > t-shirt when we

> > > > > went to the mall or park so at least

> > literate

> > > people

> > > > > with some-what of a clue would understand a

> > > little

> > > > > about his behaviors.

> > > > >

> > > > > Or during Autism Awareness month, or

> > whenever,

> > > wear

> > > > > a ribbon. I've made autism puzzle piece

> > > ribbons with

> > > > > an actual puzzle piece attached with

> > > " N.I.D.S. "

> > > > > written on it, so when people ask I can say

> > my

> > > son

> > > > > has NeuroImmune Dysfunction Sydrome which

> > > causes

> > > > > many autistic-like symptoms.

> > > > >

> > > > > All the best!

> > > > >

> > > > > - in Mobile, AL

> > > > >

> > > > > ____________ _________ _________ ________

> > > > >

> > > > > " You must write for children in the

> > same

> > > way as you

> > > > > do for adults, only better. " -Maxim

> > Gorky

> > > (Aleksey

> > > > > Maksimovich Peshkov)

> > > > >

> > > > > Reality lies beyond the horizon...

> > Wonderwegian

> > > > >

> > > > > ----- Original Message -----

> > > > >

> > > > > From: Tamela & Geoff Cole

> > > > >

> > > > > nfasggroups (DOT) com ;

> > nidsgroups (DOT)

> > > com ;

> > > > > FloortimeATL@ groups. com

> > > > >

> > > > > Sent: Sunday, March 08, 2009 8:06 PM

> > > > >

> > > > > Subject: sales clerk rude about our

> > > child

> > > > >

> > > > > We had a very disturbing experience today

> > that

> > > I

> > > > > feel moved to share with all of you. At the

> > > Dollar

> > > > > General store in Marietta today, our almost

> > 3

> > > yo son

> > > > > w/ASD became fixated on finding the perfect

> > > alphabet

> > > > > letters (this is what he tends to obsess

> > with).

> > > This

> > > > > escalated into him becoming very upset,

> > crying

> > > and

> > > > > running around the store. Understanding

> > that

> > > this

> > > > > may not be the most pleasant thing for

> > other

> > > > > customers, I immediately and calmly

> > assisted

> > > him out

> > > > > of the store, leaving my husband to pay for

> > our

> > > > > items. A female sales clerk said to the man

> > who

> > > was

> > > > > at the cash register checking my husband

> > out,

> > > " If

> > > > > that were my kid, I would beat his

> > a--! "

> > > She

> > > > > repeated this along with a few other

> > > unfavorably

> > > > > opinions about our son after the guy at the

> > > register

> > > > > wasn't really responding. My husband,

> > who

> > > normally

> > > > > keeps his cool, asked " Why, because he

> > has

> > > autism? "

> > > > > She only responded with a " Well, I

> > > didn't know. " No

> > > > > apology, no remorse....

> > > > >

> > > > > Have any of you experienced anything like

> > this?

> > > If

> > > > > so, how did you handle this?

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > > > >

> > > > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > > > 10.100.065).

> > > > >

> > > > > _http://www.pctools. _ (http://www.pctools. /)

> > com/free- antivirus/

> > > > >

> > > > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > > > >

> > > > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 -

> > > > > 10.100.065).

> > > > >

> > > > > _http://www.pctools. _

> > (http://www.pctools. /) com/free- antivirus/

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have

> > been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > > > > removed]

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > > May the Lord bless you and keep you!

> > > >

> > > > Visit my blog

> > > >

> > > > _http://bloominwhere http://bloomhttp ://blhttp_

> > (http://bloominwhere yourplanted. blogspot. com/)

> > > >

> > >

> > > No virus found in this incoming message

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

> > > _http://www.pctools. http://wwhttp: //www_

> > (http://www.pctools. com/free- antivirus/)

> > >

> > > No virus found in this outgoing message

> > > Checked by PC Tools AntiVirus (5.0.1.1 - 10.100.065).

> > > _http://www.pctools. http://wwhttp: //www_

> > (http://www.pctools. com/free- antivirus/)

> > >

> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

> >

August 25, 2009

Hey Robyn,

For some reason, I feel the urge to point you to one of my favorite

- Flylady (starting at flylady.net). If you've been sick a long time and maybe

have attention issues too, and you're struggling w/3 kids who need a lot, you

may love this if you haven't found it already. She helps us learn habits and

organization that have literally changed my life. Hope you love it!

________________________________

From: Robyn & Greg Coggins <rngcoggs@...>

Sent: Tuesday, August 25, 2009 2:37:34 PM

Subject: Re: Re: was-sales clerk, now- teasing