Re: Re:sales clerk rude about our child

[Guest guest]

We have two children who have albinism so we have been the focus of attention

for the past 15 + years.  I can honestly say that the attention never bothered

me until my son was older and knew that people were staring at him.  Then we

adopted who has autism.  The comments were horrible and drove me crazy

then one day I decided that I would not let them get the best of me so the next

time I saw someone looking oddly at my daughter because she was acting out, I

smiled and said to the person, " I can dress her up but I can't take her

anywhere. "   When I let that store I did not feel the usual sense of frustration

that I felt when people would do or say things that were hurtful.  For me making

light of it made me feel better.  The fact is our children can act oddly and

people are going to stare.  It is not right but it is a fact.  Thankfully now

that has gotten so much better and the only comments are how beautiful

she is.  Sheri

From: Marcia Hinds <hindssite@...>

Subject: Re:sales clerk rude about our child

tamelageoff_cole@...,

Date: Thursday, March 12, 2009, 9:19 PM

These situations where they act out are so hard to handle. Although is

recovered now, we had a bunch of them. didn't like going places. He

wanted his world to be the same and constant because that made it

predictable. He would often scream or act " weird " when he was somewhere he

didn't like or felt uncomfortable. Other times he would just stare off into

space and check himself out of what was happening around him. People were

often cruel and judgmental. In the grocery store no one ever talked to or

smiled at my child. Either they acted like he didn't exist or expressed

their disapproval for a child they knew was spoiled and out of control. It

would have been much easier to leave at home, but it wasn't what was

best for him. He had to get used to those loud noises that made him scream

and learn to cope with all the changes in our world.

I remember one particular incident in a restaurant buffet line when a man

thought he should tell me how to raise my " spoiled " kid. Of course this man

had no kids of his own. My husband and I were not talking that day. That

was not all that unusual for back then. The stress of raising an Autistic

child created a lot of tension in the home. My husband was standing with my

daughter a few feet ahead of us in line so he didn't have to talk to me.

The man started the confrontation when he said, " Why don't you control your

kid? " It didn't take much to rev me up that day and I instantly replied,

" If you wanted fine dining you definitely chose the wrong place, this is a

family restaurant. " The man had unbelievable gall and was just downright

mean. He went on to tell me how my child was spoiled and out of control.

He thought it was his job to tell me how to raise him and he did.

That's when my husband stepped in. Even though he was mad at me, he wasn't

going to let anyone talk to his wife and child that way. We may have hated

each other that day, but it still was us and against the world. It

kind of got ugly. I don't remember much but I do remember the veins

sticking out of my husband's neck while he gave this jerk the what for.

Eventually the man left the restaurant, but not before he muttered under his

breath that my husband was a wimp. Fortunately, my husband didn't hear him

but when I told him about it afterwards, ran out of the restaurant

looking for the guy.

I was so grateful he didn't find him. I could just see the headlines now,

" Airline pilot fired from job for brawling in local greasy spoon!!! " What

is truly amazing about this incident is that my husband is the nicest and

kindest man you could ever meet. But living with an Autistic child has a

way of making everything crazy. I had to learn it didn't matter what people

thought. The only thing that was important was doing what was best for my

child. This was quite a learning experience for me because I used to be one

of those naive parents who thought that children would behave if parents

just spent time with them. Today I don't get embarrassed about anything. I

have a very thick skin. I think I can thank for that. Stay the course

and don't let the jerks in the world derail what you need to do for your

child.

Marcia