Re: dealing with extended family

[Guest guest]

Kristy,

I gave up trying to " sell " to my sister. I do still e-mail

links/articles/etc to her that support every month or two but it's up to

her to delete them or read them. I don't waste my breath anymore.

I do try to connect as much as possible with my niece and nephew. We only see

eachother once or twice a year but I make an effort to connect with them however

possible.

With my niece I have a grouping of stuffed animals she loves that I have ready

for her when she comes. If I hear her scripting I'll sing/speak along with her

(if she doesn't get upset) to let her know I understand what she's " talking "

about. Or I'll take her for a walk around the block and just point out things

to her.

My nephew is harder... he has more social skills and blocks people out on

purpose to keep them out of his " space " ... more like wanting to, than needing

to, if you can understand that. But he's sometimes up for a board game or

making up a game he's in charge of, so I'll go along with that.

Rather than constant interaction while together, I shoot for one meaningful

engagement a day.

As for night wakings/roamings... they are both heavily medicated at bedtime and

fall deep asleep.

Sigh.

The fact that my sister has five OTHER kids (some of different issues, too)

makes it's crazy just to keep track of all the kids leaves little time for small

talk or pettiness between the adults.

-

RE: Thinking about going to Dr Goldberg

Hi ,

How do you 'deal' with your niece and your nephew? I have two nephews who

are both affected by spectrum-issues and my brother and my sister are

hostile towards me when I have brought it up with them. It really breaks my

heart to see my nephews suffer. I have accepted that my brother and sister

feel that my outspokenness probably brings up childhood issues with us, but

I really wish they could get past that and do something to help their

children. It really breaks my heart and it's becoming so hard to be around

them.

Just this morning, my sister felt compelled to send me an email " warning " me

that I am 'annoying' to preface an upcoming visit. Sheesh! Makes me want to

book a flight to an island! Truthfully, I'm already on edge in anticipation

of their visit because there are usually several occasions during a visit in

which there is a big meltdown with my nephew that puts a big, dark cloud

over whatever we are doing. Not to mention that he often has night terrors

and/or roams the house at night and wakes us all up throughout the night and

for the day at 5 am.

How do you (and anyone else who wants to chime in) cope?

Thanks,

Kristy

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Wow! It sounds like your poor sister really has her hands full! She and her

family are very lucky to have your support, in whatever capacity.

Hugs,

Kristy

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of C.

- Wonderwegian

Sent: Saturday, June 13, 2009 10:01 AM

Subject: Re: dealing with extended family

Kristy,

I gave up trying to " sell " to my sister. I do still e-mail

links/articles/etc to her that support every month or two but it's up

to her to delete them or read them. I don't waste my breath anymore.

I do try to connect as much as possible with my niece and nephew. We only

see eachother once or twice a year but I make an effort to connect with them

however possible.

With my niece I have a grouping of stuffed animals she loves that I have

ready for her when she comes. If I hear her scripting I'll sing/speak along

with her (if she doesn't get upset) to let her know I understand what she's

" talking " about. Or I'll take her for a walk around the block and just point

out things to her.

My nephew is harder... he has more social skills and blocks people out on

purpose to keep them out of his " space " ... more like wanting to, than

needing to, if you can understand that. But he's sometimes up for a board

game or making up a game he's in charge of, so I'll go along with that.

Rather than constant interaction while together, I shoot for one meaningful

engagement a day.

As for night wakings/roamings... they are both heavily medicated at bedtime

and fall deep asleep.

Sigh.

The fact that my sister has five OTHER kids (some of different issues, too)

makes it's crazy just to keep track of all the kids leaves little time for

small talk or pettiness between the adults.

-

RE: Thinking about going to Dr Goldberg

Hi ,

How do you 'deal' with your niece and your nephew? I have two nephews who

are both affected by spectrum-issues and my brother and my sister are

hostile towards me when I have brought it up with them. It really breaks my

heart to see my nephews suffer. I have accepted that my brother and sister

feel that my outspokenness probably brings up childhood issues with us, but

I really wish they could get past that and do something to help their

children. It really breaks my heart and it's becoming so hard to be around

them.

Just this morning, my sister felt compelled to send me an email " warning " me

that I am 'annoying' to preface an upcoming visit. Sheesh! Makes me want to

book a flight to an island! Truthfully, I'm already on edge in anticipation

of their visit because there are usually several occasions during a visit in

which there is a big meltdown with my nephew that puts a big, dark cloud

over whatever we are doing. Not to mention that he often has night terrors

and/or roams the house at night and wakes us all up throughout the night and

for the day at 5 am.

How do you (and anyone else who wants to chime in) cope?

Thanks,

Kristy