Question about ABA

[Guest guest]

ABA/ Parents:

What do you think about our high functioning kiddos with ABA. I am going back

and forth about whether to do a program because my daughter is doing well (since

starting in Sept.). it's her conversation skills that are an issue, which

seems like some speech therapy will help.

To me, she just seems immature. Shes almost 4 but sounds more like a 2.5 year

old. I was thinking that with more healing time the skills would come. What do

you guys think????

Thanks for your help

>

> Kristy,

>

> is right life is good ABA and so is good teaching. As far as what

> Kristy said:

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> I think I understand why Dr. G does not like ABA. It does not address the

> developmental gaps that were created when our kids were sick during their

> early developmental milestones. ABA addresses specific shortcomings, but

> does not usually develop dynamic thinking. My son STILL automatically

> answers - at first - that he is 5 (he's 7) when asked how old he is because

> that is what one of his ABA drills 'trained' him.

>

> That is the way learning starts for our kind of kid. It takes years to

> develop language in kids. It starts robotically and then becomes more

> natural. Think of our kids learning English as a foreign language. When

> you first learn another language it is not fluent nor can you converse

> properly in it. But if you keep learning it, eventually it comes. It is

> okay if it is programmed at first. Because later it will come more natural.

> And much later our kids learn like other kids and you no longer have to

> teach them everything they missed.

>

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> Marcia

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[Guest guest]

At first my son fought the ABA. We were asking him to do things he didn't

want to do. We never had a problem with him with compliance and believed he

was higher functioning. What we didn't realize is that the reason he was so

easy was we were changing the world to avoid the terrible meltdowns. Our

best intentions sometimes get in the way. We all want to protect our

children and at times we must protect them from bullies and the difficulties

they face as a result of the autism. But if they are too protected, they

don't learn what is appropriate and expected. When they are little and

still cute people excuse their weird behavior, but when they get older this

no longer applies. had us trained. We weren't trying to give in to

him but life was easier when we avoided the unpleasantness. But that was not

what was best for .

I had no idea of all he was capable of when he was little extremely weird,

in the third percentile for speech, threw tantrums, bit his sister and

screamed whenever I introduced something new. ABA was hard work and it can't

just be done by therapists. The family has to learn it and implement the

techniques throughout each day in different situations. Good ABA is just

good parenting.

However, that hard work paid off. My kid won't be in an institution like

the psychiatrists told me. The only institution he went to was college. He

now is so much more than I ever imagined. Driving, having friends, joining

a fraternity, a job as a tutor at college, and just a great kid.

This is so difficult when you have to make the decisions that affect your

kid's life forever. It is so overwhelming and in hindsight we made the

right ones. But at the time we had no idea what we were doing with ABA was

right. I had one guy from the school district tell me he couldn't continue

because was fighting us so much. I also questioned my own decision

because my kid changed from somewhat easy to a difficult child. I never

really demanded things of him before ABA other than wearing a coat and

safety issues. And to get him to do what I wanted I would negotiate with

him. That was before our ABA consultant told me we don't negotiate with

terrorists. He needs to learn that every behavior good or bad has

consequences.

So have a good cry and pick yourself up. Come up with a plan and start

again. You are your child's only hope. Only a parent would keep doing this

and all the things we have to do to help their children get better. Call if

you need to vent!!! Unlike most of your friends (if you have any left after

all you have to do for your child) I do get it.

Marcia

805 497-8202