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Adnan Rafiq <adnan_rafiq@...> wrote:Good question? Who are these people

who can afford

ABA? I am pretty much broke just paying for speech/OT

(as my insurance is so far refusing to reimburse). My

wife had to quit her job because our son requires so

much one-on-one attention.

Does the B in ABA stand for Bank? Do I need to rob

one?

You don't if you are creative. ABA would incorporate the speech component as

well.

Roxanna

Always Remember You're Unique

Just Like Everyone Else

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Having the school formulate specific goals and take data on those goals on a

regular basis is not expensive either and it benefits kids who need

intensive instruction. Generalizing skills is also an important component

to incorporate into his learning/school plan. So while we couldn't afford a

typical ABA program, we made do and it went well for us.

Roxanna.... so basically what your saying is contrary to this article. You

child was HELPED but NOT CURED. The " " CURE " " word BURNS me becasue if I

could CURE my child ( and all the children) you think I wouldn;t do it.

Once AIDS grabbed hold of us back in the 80's everything possible was

done and the insurance companies jumped on board. This is a double edged

sword... we need the number of Dx. to grow in order to get attention and

eventually insurance companies to approve therapies. Right now the

insurance companies are dumping it back on the system and mainly the school

system. Have you ever talked to parents who's child needs reading/math

assistance and its been cut back because of the number of special needs

children. (The townships are turning down the increase in school board taxes

) I know it seems strange for me to say it this way but... would it not be

the same if children with Asthma had to get help elsewhere becasue children

with Cancer gets priority. That is what the insurance company is doing to

all of us. Giving us nothing so we need to go elsewhere (to the schools)

then they have to move someone else out.

Don;t get me wrong I appreciate the strides made with the laws and

guidelines set up for my son in school. When I get " this is all we can give "

and therapists/psychiatrists tell me he needs to have more social skills

training... where do we go. School for us has done a wonderful job but I

want him to learn there. For him to take time from " social activties " at

school to get speech/ABA/social skills training... I rather bring him

somewhere after school for that. I guess I'm feeling this a lot more now

that he is in middle school.

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I think it's because they want to make sure that no more government money is

used to fund their treatment!! Ah ha.. they say.. you're cured.. now out..

-- Re: ( ) ABA

Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote:

I've heard of another group called the sunshine camp that states the same

thing. after intense therapy the child had no signs of autism. Is it

because the child was misdiagnosed to start? or, can this be true with the

right training?

I don't really think you can be " cured " . I do feel that many of the

problems associated with autism can be remediated to whatever degree

possible. Likely, those kids who are " cured " are lucky to have the right

treatment at the right time and the right degree of ASD that it responds

well to the treatment.

We did ABA with my younger ds. It did not cure him at all. It improved his

abilities by a huge amount. For instance, when he started, his language

skills could not be tested because he had so few. When we finished 3 years

later, he was one year ahead of his age on the speech evaluation. He still

has major issues to deal with and I feel like he always will. But this was

the right way to teach him at the time and he had some good skills in place

to be able to benefit from it.

Roxanna

Always Remember You're Unique

Just Like Everyone Else

---------------------------------

for Good

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<embroidery4@...> wrote:

Having the school formulate specific goals and take data on those goals on a

regular basis is not expensive either and it benefits kids who need

intensive instruction. Generalizing skills is also an important component

to incorporate into his learning/school plan. So while we couldn't afford a

typical ABA program, we made do and it went well for us.

Roxanna.... so basically what your saying is contrary to this article. You

child was HELPED but NOT CURED. The " " CURE " " word BURNS me becasue if I

could CURE my child ( and all the children) you think I wouldn;t do it.

***No, I don't think it was contrary to the article. I believe the article had

the one mother saying that ABA cured her ds but the ABA person said that this

does not always happen. I agree with the ABA person that it improves skills but

as to how much improvement - it depends on what age you start, the specific

impairment of the child and their response to treatment. I don't know why this

mother uses the word " cure " but I do know that some people like that word. ****

Once AIDS grabbed hold of us back in the 80's everything possible was

done and the insurance companies jumped on board. This is a double edged

sword... we need the number of Dx. to grow in order to get attention and

eventually insurance companies to approve therapies. Right now the

insurance companies are dumping it back on the system and mainly the school

system. Have you ever talked to parents who's child needs reading/math

assistance and its been cut back because of the number of special needs

children. (The townships are turning down the increase in school board taxes

)

**** For starters, special education is funded differently than regular

education and local cutbacks should not affect this. I'm sure extra help is

eliminated when tax levy's do not pass. But if your child has an IEP, they

cannot cut his program due to funding problems. And also, I have a ds with HFA

who also needs reading and math help. He has a learning disability in addition

to autism. ****

I know it seems strange for me to say it this way but... would it not be

the same if children with Asthma had to get help elsewhere becasue children

with Cancer gets priority. That is what the insurance company is doing to

all of us. Giving us nothing so we need to go elsewhere (to the schools)

then they have to move someone else out.

**** It is more to do with the insurance companies saving a lot of money by

using outdated information about autism to make general policies. For instance,

saying it is not " curable " means they don't want to spend the money on something

that is lifelong and not curable. But with early and intensive intervention,

vast improvement can often happen for kids with autism. So it does pay to spend

the money. Getting insurance companies to provide parity is hard. We are

working on that here in Ohio right now. But to be sure, schools are obligated

to fund programs designed to educate these kids. I remember when we were trying

to get help with funding our ABA program, the school pushed it over to the MR/DD

and the MR/DD pushed it back to the school. Neither one determined that they

were responsible to provide the services. I know some people in my state have

better MR/DD services and do manage to pay for their programs with funds from

MR/DD. That is not happening here in my

county.****

Don;t get me wrong I appreciate the strides made with the laws and

guidelines set up for my son in school. When I get " this is all we can give "

and therapists/psychiatrists tell me he needs to have more social skills

training... where do we go. School for us has done a wonderful job but I

want him to learn there. For him to take time from " social activties " at

school to get speech/ABA/social skills training... I rather bring him

somewhere after school for that. I guess I'm feeling this a lot more now

that he is in middle school.

***** Schools cannot tell you " this is all we can give " so there is a problem if

they are telling you this. They should be providing what he needs as

appropriate. If they cannot provide it during the regular school day, you can

discuss having them provide therapy before or after school or contracting with a

private therapist for weekends. It depends upon the needs of the child.

For instance, we designed my ds's ABA program around the Kindergarten day. He

stayed for an hour and a half after the half day the typical kids went to in

order to get his therapy time in. This way, he could spend enough time in the

classroom and enough time out of the classroom, as needed for his therapies. We

also did this for 1st and 2nd grade. He needed the therapy in order to learn.

So we had to figure out how to make it work for him. *****

Roxanna

Always Remember You're Unique

Just Like Everyone Else

---------------------------------

for Good

Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

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  • 4 months later...

ABA breaks an activity in smaller pieces so the kid can learn better. For

example Igor was learning to write with hand writing without tears…What the

difference somebody with ABA training will do? The will not let the kid do a

mistake, they will watch it. If she sees that he is going to put a piece in

the wrong direction she will prompt before the kid put the piece down. Then

she will collect on data.

So example:

Start to form letter A:

At first she will prompt every time and will recompense the kid for every

try (cheers/ crackers / play with a toy,…). Then she will start to fade way

the prompt but being sure that every try will be correct. How she make sure?

She will show the kid where to put the “stick” that form the letter in the

right spot in case she sees that he will put in the wrong spot. And then she

will just recompense the right answer without prompt. Because if the kid try

too much and does wrong he will be confused in what he was supposed to do

it. Is the same thing with behavior, for example if you child is jumping in

the sofa, if you say don’t do that is a confused order but if you say Igor

sofa is to sit down. Jump in the trampoline. You are telling what he is

supposed to do it. No confusion what so ever!!!

We use a lot of data, so we can analyze when will be the right time to fade

away the prompts. The kid fell very good with himself because he doesn’t

feel falling but actually practicing and learning! I laugh a lot with my son

because sometimes his school teacher does a different approach and some kids

try and cry… my son will tell me : my teacher needs to read “the book” (ABA

program) lol!!!

So hand writing without tears is not “ABA” but it makes the role difference

teach in the ABA approach!

Hope it helps,

Giseli

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  • 8 months later...

ABA is Applied Behavioral Analysis.

Just about a month ago we had a good string of discussion on the

subject. If you type in ABA in the search engine you should be able

to see it all. ABA was in the title.

>

> I had to admit my stupidity, but what is ABA?

>

> Suzanne

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ABA is Applied Behavioral Analysis.

Just about a month ago we had a good string of discussion on the

subject. If you type in ABA in the search engine you should be able

to see it all. ABA was in the title.

>

> I had to admit my stupidity, but what is ABA?

>

> Suzanne

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Thank you. I appreciate your time in answering.

[ ] Re: ABA

ABA is Applied Behavioral Analysis.

Just about a month ago we had a good string of discussion on the

subject. If you type in ABA in the search engine you should be able

to see it all. ABA was in the title.

>

> I had to admit my stupidity, but what is ABA?

>

> Suzanne

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Thank you. I appreciate your time in answering.

[ ] Re: ABA

ABA is Applied Behavioral Analysis.

Just about a month ago we had a good string of discussion on the

subject. If you type in ABA in the search engine you should be able

to see it all. ABA was in the title.

>

> I had to admit my stupidity, but what is ABA?

>

> Suzanne

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  • 5 months later...
Guest guest

Wow. This was great to read.

So,,,,,,,for a child that is starting to get mad, " growl " , snap at everyone,

" shut down and start to pull his head down into his shoulders " because he either

isn't getting his way or things just aren't going as planned or even that he has

had a bad " moment',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,would you suggest that he be told to calm down

and lets talk about it?

That doesn't really work with us. This sounds really bad,,,,,,,but what

" works " , if you want to call it that, is to let him " get through it " (which

means have his " freak-out " ) and then when he's calmed down again, try to talk.

Usually, he has sorry or whatever and can actually see what has just taken

place.

What do you think? Is it OK or is it teaching him LONG TERM to just let him

" do what he's got to do to get through it " and THEN deal with everything?

OR,,,,,,,,,,,,should his " freak-out " not be acceptable and we work on the

behavior........but how? I'm confused.

I understand that he is freaking out b/c something either has or is happening

that he isn't liking................but that's going to be life, right?

Help!!!

Robin

Greenwood <rkgreenw529@...> wrote:

ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning theory, which

says

human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are called

antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called consequences, so

all you really have to do is change those events and you can change

behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what happens

after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When treating an

ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a behavioral

standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the diagnosis of

autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the diagnosis of

autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind, and

executive function (which I will define later). There are also some

behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors, maladaptive

behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The goal in ABA

is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those areas that

are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction " and " behavior

management " ; these two things work together. To give you some examples of

behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get what he

wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can teach him

another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those tantrums

tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't want to do

something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't really feel

like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a break. Or when

the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name instead.

There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to replace those

behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode. The basic

idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad kids.

They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're trying to

communicate something, and they don't have any other way to communicate it,

and that's how their frustration is coming out.

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Guest guest

That sounds to me like the right way to handle your son's 'freak

outs'! I know I don't want to " talk about it " when I am in the middle

of being mad! :) Mostly what I have heard in ABA is to ignore bad

behaviors whenever possible (obviously there are times when you have

to intervene for safety) and never never reward a child for tantruming

(by giving them what they are tantruming for). Even giving them

attention (by even looking at them) during the tantrum can be

reinforcing.

It does make sense to help him learn how to manage his anger better.

That usually involves helping the child learn their own anger triggers

so can become aware when they are about to enter a 'freak out' and

then implement a coping mechanism. Others could then help by giving a

simple reminder signal (not a lecture :) if you see a freak out coming

on - like " remember..count to 20 backwards " or whatever makes sense

for the child.

Hope that helps a little!

-kim

>

> Wow. This was great to read.

> So,,,,,,,for a child that is starting to get mad, " growl " , snap at

everyone, " shut down and start to pull his head down into his

shoulders " because he either isn't getting his way or things just

aren't going as planned or even that he has had a bad

" moment',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,would you suggest that he be told to calm down

and lets talk about it?

> That doesn't really work with us. This sounds really

bad,,,,,,,but what " works " , if you want to call it that, is to let him

" get through it " (which means have his " freak-out " ) and then when he's

calmed down again, try to talk. Usually, he has sorry or whatever and

can actually see what has just taken place.

> What do you think? Is it OK or is it teaching him LONG TERM to

just let him " do what he's got to do to get through it " and THEN deal

with everything?

> OR,,,,,,,,,,,,should his " freak-out " not be acceptable and we work

on the behavior........but how? I'm confused.

> I understand that he is freaking out b/c something either has or

is happening that he isn't liking................but that's going to

be life, right?

> Help!!!

> Robin

>

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Guest guest

When has a " freak-out " as you call it, she is immediately

isolated, either at home or at school. She's welcome to " get through

it " somewhere that no one else has to be " bothered " by her. Yes, I'm

still bothered by it, because I have the baby monitors going so I can

be sure she's okay. But I gotta tell ya, without the audience, she

calms down a LOT faster. And after she's been calm for awhile, THEN

we talk about it. If I sense any agitation at all in her voice, back

she goes to her room. And we try again a few minutes later.

Sometimes we parents of HFA kids make the mistaken assumption that

someday are kids are going to be totally and completely normal and

independent and we are frustrated to no end by the fact that we seem

to be fighting a losing battle to getting our kids to that point

where they're just going to have to suck it up and be a good sport

and deal with it.

Maybe some of them will.

But I don't think what they might need as adults someday if they ever

really do make it to university or a high-powered-job is what we

should be working for.

I think what we should be working for is how do I get them to a have

a better day today than they did yesterday? And how do I work to

ensure that tomorrow will be better still?

Meira

> ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

theory, which says

> human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

called

> antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

consequences, so

> all you really have to do is change those events and you can change

> behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what

happens

> after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

treating an

> ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

behavioral

> standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

diagnosis of

> autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

diagnosis of

> autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind,

and

> executive function (which I will define later). There are also some

> behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

maladaptive

> behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The goal

in ABA

> is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those

areas that

> are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

and " behavior

> management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

examples of

> behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get

what he

> wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can

teach him

> another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those

tantrums

> tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

want to do

> something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't really

feel

> like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a break.

Or when

> the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name

instead.

> There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

replace those

> behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode.

The basic

> idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad

kids.

> They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

trying to

> communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

communicate it,

> and that's how their frustration is coming out.

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

Calculate new

> payment

> http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

18679 & moid=7581

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> Try the Beta.

>

>

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Guest guest

Thanks, Kim.

Kim <aqa12@...> wrote: That sounds to me like the right way to

handle your son's 'freak

outs'! I know I don't want to " talk about it " when I am in the middle

of being mad! :) Mostly what I have heard in ABA is to ignore bad

behaviors whenever possible (obviously there are times when you have

to intervene for safety) and never never reward a child for tantruming

(by giving them what they are tantruming for). Even giving them

attention (by even looking at them) during the tantrum can be

reinforcing.

It does make sense to help him learn how to manage his anger better.

That usually involves helping the child learn their own anger triggers

so can become aware when they are about to enter a 'freak out' and

then implement a coping mechanism. Others could then help by giving a

simple reminder signal (not a lecture :) if you see a freak out coming

on - like " remember..count to 20 backwards " or whatever makes sense

for the child.

Hope that helps a little!

-kim

>

> Wow. This was great to read.

> So,,,,,,,for a child that is starting to get mad, " growl " , snap at

everyone, " shut down and start to pull his head down into his

shoulders " because he either isn't getting his way or things just

aren't going as planned or even that he has had a bad

" moment',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,would you suggest that he be told to calm down

and lets talk about it?

> That doesn't really work with us. This sounds really

bad,,,,,,,but what " works " , if you want to call it that, is to let him

" get through it " (which means have his " freak-out " ) and then when he's

calmed down again, try to talk. Usually, he has sorry or whatever and

can actually see what has just taken place.

> What do you think? Is it OK or is it teaching him LONG TERM to

just let him " do what he's got to do to get through it " and THEN deal

with everything?

> OR,,,,,,,,,,,,should his " freak-out " not be acceptable and we work

on the behavior........but how? I'm confused.

> I understand that he is freaking out b/c something either has or

is happening that he isn't liking................but that's going to

be life, right?

> Help!!!

> Robin

>

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Guest guest

When you first started to isolater her,,,,,,did you first say, " go to your room

until you calm down " ? Did she go on her own or did you physically take her?

Details, please.

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

When has a " freak-out " as you call it, she is immediately

isolated, either at home or at school. She's welcome to " get through

it " somewhere that no one else has to be " bothered " by her. Yes, I'm

still bothered by it, because I have the baby monitors going so I can

be sure she's okay. But I gotta tell ya, without the audience, she

calms down a LOT faster. And after she's been calm for awhile, THEN

we talk about it. If I sense any agitation at all in her voice, back

she goes to her room. And we try again a few minutes later.

Sometimes we parents of HFA kids make the mistaken assumption that

someday are kids are going to be totally and completely normal and

independent and we are frustrated to no end by the fact that we seem

to be fighting a losing battle to getting our kids to that point

where they're just going to have to suck it up and be a good sport

and deal with it.

Maybe some of them will.

But I don't think what they might need as adults someday if they ever

really do make it to university or a high-powered-job is what we

should be working for.

I think what we should be working for is how do I get them to a have

a better day today than they did yesterday? And how do I work to

ensure that tomorrow will be better still?

Meira

> ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

theory, which says

> human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

called

> antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

consequences, so

> all you really have to do is change those events and you can change

> behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what

happens

> after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

treating an

> ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

behavioral

> standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

diagnosis of

> autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

diagnosis of

> autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind,

and

> executive function (which I will define later). There are also some

> behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

maladaptive

> behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The goal

in ABA

> is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those

areas that

> are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

and " behavior

> management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

examples of

> behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get

what he

> wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can

teach him

> another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those

tantrums

> tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

want to do

> something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't really

feel

> like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a break.

Or when

> the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name

instead.

> There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

replace those

> behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode.

The basic

> idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad

kids.

> They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

trying to

> communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

communicate it,

> and that's how their frustration is coming out.

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

Calculate new

> payment

> http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

18679 & moid=7581

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> Try the Beta.

>

>

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Guest guest

When we first started, I would quietly and gently walk her there. It

took awhile to get her there. She was also much much smaller than she

is now. And she'd come out kicking and screaming. And I'd put her

back in calmly and quietly. And she'd come out kicking and

screaming. And I'd put her back in calmly and quietly sometimes with

tears streaming down my face, and we'd play this game until finally

she'd throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming in her room,

and I'd sit outside her door, watching through a crack in the door,

eyes and ears open to intervene should she try to hurt herself,

crying quietly. Eventually she'd mostly calm down, and I'd go in and

rock her and soothe her. It took awhile, but eventually we got to

the point where I could say to her " Go to your room. " And I still

have to stand there like a statue and point to her room while she

waits to see if I'm serious, and then stomps off. Her first few

years, before we got to this point, I would hold her and rock her and

sing to her, and cry with her, while she raged in my arms. I'd hold

her tight against me so she couldn't hurt herself, and couldn't hurt

me much. It took years of work to get her to this point.

Meira

> > ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

> theory, which says

> > human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

> called

> > antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

> consequences, so

> > all you really have to do is change those events and you can

change

> > behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what

> happens

> > after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

> treating an

> > ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

> behavioral

> > standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

> diagnosis of

> > autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

> diagnosis of

> > autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind,

> and

> > executive function (which I will define later). There are also

some

> > behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

> maladaptive

> > behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The

goal

> in ABA

> > is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those

> areas that

> > are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

> and " behavior

> > management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

> examples of

> > behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get

> what he

> > wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can

> teach him

> > another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those

> tantrums

> > tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

> want to do

> > something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't

really

> feel

> > like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a

break.

> Or when

> > the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name

> instead.

> > There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

> replace those

> > behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode.

> The basic

> > idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad

> kids.

> > They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

> trying to

> > communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

> communicate it,

> > and that's how their frustration is coming out.

> >

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

> Calculate new

> > payment

> > http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

> 18679 & moid=7581

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> > Try the Beta.

> >

> >

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Guest guest

I appreciate you telling me this.

I think I'm going to have to start demanding that he go to his room.

I am so torn about sending him there, though. Away from us. Makes me sad.

I guess I feel bad because it's aspergers that is making him so mad and " angry

at the world " and " unbendable " to different situations. I feel that because his

anger is not intentional,,,,, that the rest of the family and I, should deal

with him......like we have been.

But,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we all have our issues. We have to co-exist. When he gets

so mad, it is really starting to wreck everyone. And,,,,,,,sad to say,,,,,,I'm

getting really tired of it.

I'm gonna give this a shot.

Thanks for listening.

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

When we first started, I would quietly and gently walk her there. It

took awhile to get her there. She was also much much smaller than she

is now. And she'd come out kicking and screaming. And I'd put her

back in calmly and quietly. And she'd come out kicking and

screaming. And I'd put her back in calmly and quietly sometimes with

tears streaming down my face, and we'd play this game until finally

she'd throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming in her room,

and I'd sit outside her door, watching through a crack in the door,

eyes and ears open to intervene should she try to hurt herself,

crying quietly. Eventually she'd mostly calm down, and I'd go in and

rock her and soothe her. It took awhile, but eventually we got to

the point where I could say to her " Go to your room. " And I still

have to stand there like a statue and point to her room while she

waits to see if I'm serious, and then stomps off. Her first few

years, before we got to this point, I would hold her and rock her and

sing to her, and cry with her, while she raged in my arms. I'd hold

her tight against me so she couldn't hurt herself, and couldn't hurt

me much. It took years of work to get her to this point.

Meira

> > ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

> theory, which says

> > human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

> called

> > antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

> consequences, so

> > all you really have to do is change those events and you can

change

> > behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what

> happens

> > after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

> treating an

> > ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

> behavioral

> > standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

> diagnosis of

> > autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

> diagnosis of

> > autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind,

> and

> > executive function (which I will define later). There are also

some

> > behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

> maladaptive

> > behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The

goal

> in ABA

> > is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those

> areas that

> > are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

> and " behavior

> > management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

> examples of

> > behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get

> what he

> > wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can

> teach him

> > another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those

> tantrums

> > tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

> want to do

> > something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't

really

> feel

> > like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a

break.

> Or when

> > the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name

> instead.

> > There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

> replace those

> > behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode.

> The basic

> > idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad

> kids.

> > They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

> trying to

> > communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

> communicate it,

> > and that's how their frustration is coming out.

> >

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

> Calculate new

> > payment

> > http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

> 18679 & moid=7581

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> > Try the Beta.

> >

> >

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Guest guest

It might help you if you consider how the rest of the world will handle

the anger when he is an adult. When something seems harsh for my son, I

try to remember that the adult world isn't going to say " Poor baby, he

has an ASD. " Although it sounds cold, it is reality. We aren't doing

our children any favors if we don't teach them to fit in the world the

best they can.

Tonya

Re: ( ) Re: aba

I appreciate you telling me this.

I think I'm going to have to start demanding that he go to his room.

I am so torn about sending him there, though. Away from us. Makes me

sad.

I guess I feel bad because it's aspergers that is making him so mad and

" angry at the world " and " unbendable " to different situations. I feel

that because his anger is not intentional,,,,, that the rest of the

family and I, should deal with him......like we have been.

But,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we all have our issues. We have to co-exist. When he

gets so mad, it is really starting to wreck everyone. And,,,,,,,sad to

say,,,,,,I'm getting really tired of it.

I'm gonna give this a shot.

Thanks for listening.

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@ <mailto:meira-harvey%40worldnet.att.net>

worldnet.att.net> wrote:

When we first started, I would quietly and gently walk her there. It

took awhile to get her there. She was also much much smaller than she

is now. And she'd come out kicking and screaming. And I'd put her

back in calmly and quietly. And she'd come out kicking and

screaming. And I'd put her back in calmly and quietly sometimes with

tears streaming down my face, and we'd play this game until finally

she'd throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming in her room,

and I'd sit outside her door, watching through a crack in the door,

eyes and ears open to intervene should she try to hurt herself,

crying quietly. Eventually she'd mostly calm down, and I'd go in and

rock her and soothe her. It took awhile, but eventually we got to

the point where I could say to her " Go to your room. " And I still

have to stand there like a statue and point to her room while she

waits to see if I'm serious, and then stomps off. Her first few

years, before we got to this point, I would hold her and rock her and

sing to her, and cry with her, while she raged in my arms. I'd hold

her tight against me so she couldn't hurt herself, and couldn't hurt

me much. It took years of work to get her to this point.

Meira

> > ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

> theory, which says

> > human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

> called

> > antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

> consequences, so

> > all you really have to do is change those events and you can

change

> > behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what

> happens

> > after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

> treating an

> > ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

> behavioral

> > standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

> diagnosis of

> > autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

> diagnosis of

> > autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind,

> and

> > executive function (which I will define later). There are also

some

> > behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

> maladaptive

> > behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The

goal

> in ABA

> > is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those

> areas that

> > are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

> and " behavior

> > management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

> examples of

> > behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get

> what he

> > wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can

> teach him

> > another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those

> tantrums

> > tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

> want to do

> > something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't

really

> feel

> > like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a

break.

> Or when

> > the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name

> instead.

> > There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

> replace those

> > behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode.

> The basic

> > idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad

> kids.

> > They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

> trying to

> > communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

> communicate it,

> > and that's how their frustration is coming out.

> >

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

> Calculate new

> > payment

> > http://www.lowermyb

<http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632->

ills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

> 18679 & moid=7581

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> > Try the Beta.

> >

> >

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Guest guest

Oh Robin, I understand your sadness. Why do you think there were

tears streaming from MY eyes as we did this? Sometimes as parents,

we have to do something that hurts ourselves in order to do what's

best for our children. and I would both be happy if we could

snuggle all day, watching TV or reading books together, doing art

projects, working in the garden. But I know that's not what's best

for her. So I don't. She needs to learn to function the best she

can. A little tiny baby step better each day. And I needed a break

from the screaming. And it took years to get this far, but I've got

it! Her tantrums are so rare now in comparison to how often they

used to be! It's a miracle. It took a LOT of hard work to get here,

and we still have a lot of hard work ahead of us, but still, it's a

miracle.

Meira

> > > ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

> > theory, which says

> > > human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

> > called

> > > antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

> > consequences, so

> > > all you really have to do is change those events and you can

> change

> > > behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and

what

> > happens

> > > after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

> > treating an

> > > ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

> > behavioral

> > > standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

> > diagnosis of

> > > autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

> > diagnosis of

> > > autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of

mind,

> > and

> > > executive function (which I will define later). There are also

> some

> > > behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

> > maladaptive

> > > behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The

> goal

> > in ABA

> > > is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce

those

> > areas that

> > > are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

> > and " behavior

> > > management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

> > examples of

> > > behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to

get

> > what he

> > > wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we

can

> > teach him

> > > another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants,

those

> > tantrums

> > > tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

> > want to do

> > > something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't

> really

> > feel

> > > like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a

> break.

> > Or when

> > > the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your

name

> > instead.

> > > There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

> > replace those

> > > behaviors that have developed over time as a communication

mode.

> > The basic

> > > idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're

bad

> > kids.

> > > They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

> > trying to

> > > communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

> > communicate it,

> > > and that's how their frustration is coming out.

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________________

> > > Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

> > Calculate new

> > > payment

> > > http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

> > 18679 & moid=7581

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> > > Try the Beta.

> > >

> > >

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Guest guest

You are SO right.

This is the view I make others follow when dealing with him,,,,,,,,,,,but when

it's just us at home,,,,,,,I'm sorry to say that I don't always follow through

with the " requirements " I put on others.

Sometimes it's good to come to the realization that you need to " re-evaluate "

and change.

Robin

Tonya Hettler <txua@...> wrote:

It might help you if you consider how the rest of the world will

handle

the anger when he is an adult. When something seems harsh for my son, I

try to remember that the adult world isn't going to say " Poor baby, he

has an ASD. " Although it sounds cold, it is reality. We aren't doing

our children any favors if we don't teach them to fit in the world the

best they can.

Tonya

Re: ( ) Re: aba

I appreciate you telling me this.

I think I'm going to have to start demanding that he go to his room.

I am so torn about sending him there, though. Away from us. Makes me

sad.

I guess I feel bad because it's aspergers that is making him so mad and

" angry at the world " and " unbendable " to different situations. I feel

that because his anger is not intentional,,,,, that the rest of the

family and I, should deal with him......like we have been.

But,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we all have our issues. We have to co-exist. When he

gets so mad, it is really starting to wreck everyone. And,,,,,,,sad to

say,,,,,,I'm getting really tired of it.

I'm gonna give this a shot.

Thanks for listening.

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@ <mailto:meira-harvey%40worldnet.att.net>

worldnet.att.net> wrote:

When we first started, I would quietly and gently walk her there. It

took awhile to get her there. She was also much much smaller than she

is now. And she'd come out kicking and screaming. And I'd put her

back in calmly and quietly. And she'd come out kicking and

screaming. And I'd put her back in calmly and quietly sometimes with

tears streaming down my face, and we'd play this game until finally

she'd throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming in her room,

and I'd sit outside her door, watching through a crack in the door,

eyes and ears open to intervene should she try to hurt herself,

crying quietly. Eventually she'd mostly calm down, and I'd go in and

rock her and soothe her. It took awhile, but eventually we got to

the point where I could say to her " Go to your room. " And I still

have to stand there like a statue and point to her room while she

waits to see if I'm serious, and then stomps off. Her first few

years, before we got to this point, I would hold her and rock her and

sing to her, and cry with her, while she raged in my arms. I'd hold

her tight against me so she couldn't hurt herself, and couldn't hurt

me much. It took years of work to get her to this point.

Meira

> > ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

> theory, which says

> > human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

> called

> > antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

> consequences, so

> > all you really have to do is change those events and you can

change

> > behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what

> happens

> > after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

> treating an

> > ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

> behavioral

> > standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

> diagnosis of

> > autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

> diagnosis of

> > autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind,

> and

> > executive function (which I will define later). There are also

some

> > behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

> maladaptive

> > behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The

goal

> in ABA

> > is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those

> areas that

> > are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

> and " behavior

> > management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

> examples of

> > behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get

> what he

> > wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can

> teach him

> > another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those

> tantrums

> > tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

> want to do

> > something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't

really

> feel

> > like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a

break.

> Or when

> > the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name

> instead.

> > There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

> replace those

> > behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode.

> The basic

> > idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad

> kids.

> > They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

> trying to

> > communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

> communicate it,

> > and that's how their frustration is coming out.

> >

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

> Calculate new

> > payment

> > http://www.lowermyb

<http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632->

ills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

> 18679 & moid=7581

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> > Try the Beta.

> >

> >

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Guest guest

Thanks Meira

I love what you said...I'm thinking of printing it and putting it up so I can

read it everyday!

..... I think what we should be working for is how do I get them to a have

a better day today than they did yesterday? And how do I work to

ensure that tomorrow will be better still?

We are not guaranteed tomorrow, and I want a...and all my children to live

life to the fullest they can and to enjoy all they can! That's not to say I

don't teach them and that I'm not concerned for the future...I am! But we have

to get through the present to get to the future. If we can get through the here

and now enjoying it I think that is far better than getting to the future with

no happiness and joy. The same things that make a happy are not always the

things I have in mind to do with her that I think would make her happy....I have

to follow her lead on her Happiness factor...not my dream for her... I may be

rambling ....sorry....

Have a great day!

- C.

Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

Re: ( ) aba

..... I think what we should be working for is how do I get them to a have

a better day today than they did yesterday? And how do I work to

ensure that tomorrow will be better still?

Meira

> ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

theory, which says

> human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

called

> antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

consequences, so

> all you really have to do is change those events and you can change

> behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what

happens

> after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

treating an

> ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

behavioral

> standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

diagnosis of

> autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

diagnosis of

> autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind,

and

> executive function (which I will define later). There are also some

> behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

maladaptive

> behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The goal

in ABA

> is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those

areas that

> are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

and " behavior

> management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

examples of

> behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get

what he

> wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can

teach him

> another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those

tantrums

> tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

want to do

> something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't really

feel

> like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a break.

Or when

> the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name

instead.

> There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

replace those

> behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode.

The basic

> idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad

kids.

> They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

trying to

> communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

communicate it,

> and that's how their frustration is coming out.

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

Calculate new

> payment

> http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

18679 & moid=7581

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> Try the Beta.

>

>

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Share on other sites

Guest guest

We do this with a...We tell her if she is going to be ugly/act ugly/do " such

& such " she needs to do it in her room. Yes she is only3.5 yo but she goes to

her room until she is ready to come out. Then we generally discuss the

behavior.

We do listen on her baby monitors :-)

- C.

Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

Re: ( ) aba

When you first started to isolater her,,,,,,did you first say, " go to your

room until you calm down " ? Did she go on her own or did you physically take her?

Details, please.

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

When has a " freak-out " as you call it, she is immediately

isolated, either at home or at school. She's welcome to " get through

it " somewhere that no one else has to be " bothered " by her. Yes, I'm

still bothered by it, because I have the baby monitors going so I can

be sure she's okay. But I gotta tell ya, without the audience, she

calms down a LOT faster. And after she's been calm for awhile, THEN

we talk about it. If I sense any agitation at all in her voice, back

she goes to her room. And we try again a few minutes later.

Sometimes we parents of HFA kids make the mistaken assumption that

someday are kids are going to be totally and completely normal and

independent and we are frustrated to no end by the fact that we seem

to be fighting a losing battle to getting our kids to that point

where they're just going to have to suck it up and be a good sport

and deal with it.

Maybe some of them will.

But I don't think what they might need as adults someday if they ever

really do make it to university or a high-powered-job is what we

should be working for.

I think what we should be working for is how do I get them to a have

a better day today than they did yesterday? And how do I work to

ensure that tomorrow will be better still?

Meira

> ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

theory, which says

> human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

called

> antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

consequences, so

> all you really have to do is change those events and you can change

> behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and what

happens

> after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

treating an

> ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

behavioral

> standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

diagnosis of

> autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

diagnosis of

> autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of mind,

and

> executive function (which I will define later). There are also some

> behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

maladaptive

> behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The goal

in ABA

> is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce those

areas that

> are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

and " behavior

> management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

examples of

> behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to get

what he

> wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we can

teach him

> another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants, those

tantrums

> tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

want to do

> something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't really

feel

> like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a break.

Or when

> the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your name

instead.

> There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

replace those

> behaviors that have developed over time as a communication mode.

The basic

> idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're bad

kids.

> They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

trying to

> communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

communicate it,

> and that's how their frustration is coming out.

>

> __________________________________________________________

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Calculate new

> payment

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18679 & moid=7581

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

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>

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Guest guest

Yep. I figure better ten minutes in his room now than ten years in

jail later.

Meira

>

> It might help you if you consider how the rest of the world will

handle

> the anger when he is an adult. When something seems harsh for my

son, I

> try to remember that the adult world isn't going to say " Poor baby,

he

> has an ASD. " Although it sounds cold, it is reality. We aren't

doing

> our children any favors if we don't teach them to fit in the world

the

> best they can.

>

> Tonya

>

> Re: ( ) Re: aba

>

> I appreciate you telling me this.

> I think I'm going to have to start demanding that he go to his

room.

> I am so torn about sending him there, though. Away from us. Makes me

> sad.

> I guess I feel bad because it's aspergers that is making him so mad

and

> " angry at the world " and " unbendable " to different situations. I

feel

> that because his anger is not intentional,,,,, that the rest of the

> family and I, should deal with him......like we have been.

> But,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we all have our issues. We have to co-exist. When

he

> gets so mad, it is really starting to wreck everyone. And,,,,,,,sad

to

> say,,,,,,I'm getting really tired of it.

> I'm gonna give this a shot.

> Thanks for listening.

> Robin

>

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Thanks so much.

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

Oh Robin, I understand your sadness. Why do you think there were

tears streaming from MY eyes as we did this? Sometimes as parents,

we have to do something that hurts ourselves in order to do what's

best for our children. and I would both be happy if we could

snuggle all day, watching TV or reading books together, doing art

projects, working in the garden. But I know that's not what's best

for her. So I don't. She needs to learn to function the best she

can. A little tiny baby step better each day. And I needed a break

from the screaming. And it took years to get this far, but I've got

it! Her tantrums are so rare now in comparison to how often they

used to be! It's a miracle. It took a LOT of hard work to get here,

and we still have a lot of hard work ahead of us, but still, it's a

miracle.

Meira

> > > ABA is based on the principles of operant conditioning

> > theory, which says

> > > human behavior is affected by events that precede it, which are

> > called

> > > antecedents, and events that follow it, which are called

> > consequences, so

> > > all you really have to do is change those events and you can

> change

> > > behavior. You can change what happens before a behavior, and

what

> > happens

> > > after a behavior, and it will affect the behavior itself. When

> > treating an

> > > ASD child, we are trying to bring about change not only from a

> > behavioral

> > > standpoint, but also from a diagnostic one. Right now, the

> > diagnosis of

> > > autism is based on symptoms. The series of deficits in the

> > diagnosis of

> > > autism are language, play skills, social skills, theory of

mind,

> > and

> > > executive function (which I will define later). There are also

> some

> > > behaviors that are excessive, like self-stimulatory behaviors,

> > maladaptive

> > > behaviors, tantrums, aggression, noncompliance, and so on. The

> goal

> > in ABA

> > > is to improve those areas that are deficient and to reduce

those

> > areas that

> > > are excessive. These are called " skill repertoire instruction "

> > and " behavior

> > > management " ; these two things work together. To give you some

> > examples of

> > > behavioral management, let's say a child learns to tantrum to

get

> > what he

> > > wants, because he has no other tools for communicating. If we

can

> > teach him

> > > another way to ask for the objects or things that he wants,

those

> > tantrums

> > > tend to recede; but let's say the child screams when he doesn't

> > want to do

> > > something, because he doesn't know how to say, " Mom, I don't

> really

> > feel

> > > like doing this right now, " so let's teach him to ask for a

> break.

> > Or when

> > > the child hits to get your attention, teach him to call your

name

> > instead.

> > > There are a lot of different techniques that we use to try to

> > replace those

> > > behaviors that have developed over time as a communication

mode.

> > The basic

> > > idea is that the kids are not behaving badly because they're

bad

> > kids.

> > > They're wonderful kids. They're behaving badly because they're

> > trying to

> > > communicate something, and they don't have any other way to

> > communicate it,

> > > and that's how their frustration is coming out.

> > >

> > > __________________________________________________________

> > > Interest Rates Fall Again! $430,000 Mortgage for $1,399/mo -

> > Calculate new

> > > payment

> > > http://www.lowermybills.com/lre/index.jsp?sourceid=lmb-9632-

> > 18679 & moid=7581

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.

> > > Try the Beta.

> > >

> > >

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Thanks, guys.

Robin

meiraharvey <meira-harvey@...> wrote:

Yep. I figure better ten minutes in his room now than ten years in

jail later.

Meira

>

> It might help you if you consider how the rest of the world will

handle

> the anger when he is an adult. When something seems harsh for my

son, I

> try to remember that the adult world isn't going to say " Poor baby,

he

> has an ASD. " Although it sounds cold, it is reality. We aren't

doing

> our children any favors if we don't teach them to fit in the world

the

> best they can.

>

> Tonya

>

> Re: ( ) Re: aba

>

> I appreciate you telling me this.

> I think I'm going to have to start demanding that he go to his

room.

> I am so torn about sending him there, though. Away from us. Makes me

> sad.

> I guess I feel bad because it's aspergers that is making him so mad

and

> " angry at the world " and " unbendable " to different situations. I

feel

> that because his anger is not intentional,,,,, that the rest of the

> family and I, should deal with him......like we have been.

> But,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we all have our issues. We have to co-exist. When

he

> gets so mad, it is really starting to wreck everyone. And,,,,,,,sad

to

> say,,,,,,I'm getting really tired of it.

> I'm gonna give this a shot.

> Thanks for listening.

> Robin

>

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,

Start by picking one objective. " I want my child to stay in her

seatbelt. " Then focus on that one objective. Don't worry about

anything else unless it's life-threatening. Drive everywhere and

anywhere. Find excuses to drive everywhere and anywhere. Say

repeatedly as you're getting ready, " I know you're such a big girl. I

know you can stay in your seatbelt. " " Big girls who stay in their

seatbelts get a cookie when we get where we're going. " Say

repeatedly as you're driving, " Oh wow, what a big girl you are,

working so hard to stay in your seatbelt! I bet you're going to earn

a cookie when we get where we're going! " Make the first trip down

the driveway to the mailbox. Make the second trip around the block.

If she's struggling to comply for a 1 minute drive, don't go any

further than 1 minute until she's no longer struggling to comply,

even if it takes a month. Then take a zillion two minute drives,

prompting her all the way. Let everything else go. Fovus on it

24/7, how proud of her you are for keeping her seatbelt on. Someday

you'll be at the point that you can actually make it all the way to

the grocery store. It will be a great day!

And the next day, while continuing to keep up the praise and positive

reinforcement for the seatbelt, you'll start working on getting her

to hold your hand while you cross the street....

Meira

>

> Thanks Meira

> ..... I think what we should be working for is how do I get

them to a have

> a better day today than they did yesterday? And how do I work to

> ensure that tomorrow will be better still?

> - C.

> Mom to Cassie 16 PCOS, Austin 14 ADHD and a 3.5 HFA/AS &

SPD/SID

>

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