I didn't know where else to turn....

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I am not new to the group but haven't posted in awhile.

I didn't know where else to turn.

I am in quite a difficult situation and would appreciate it if the group could

help me in some way.

It has nothing to do with the WP, although I was on it last year and thankfully

only 7 weeks.

What the WP did to me seems irreparable and ever since using it, my whole body

suffered. I was NOT this way prior to the WP. I believe it threw me into a tail

spin and I can't recover.

I believe it threw my entire endocrine system out of whack and I find myself in

adrenal fatigue with highs and lows of cortisol, it messed up my thyroid and did

a number on my hormones. every part of me has been affected.

I am 56 and haven't had a period in over 4 yrs. My estradiol is low and my

Progesterone is tanked. E at last draw was only 34.6 and P was a mere 0.3

I have slightly high testosterone and DHEAS.

I am an emotional basketcase, crying, depressed, overly anxious all the time and

suffer from a myriad of health problems. I have a neck injury that prevents me

from driving or working. I am stuck in this house 24/7 with no friends and I am

lonely.

I can't do the simplest of tasks without becoming shaky. I vibrate inside all

the time. I have no patience and have forgotten how to smile or laugh.

I think its been over 7 yrs since I had intimate relations with my husband whom

I don't love and should have left yrs ago.

my kids are all gone and live all over the country. I never see them or my

grandkids.

My cortisol is high on serum in the mornings but according to saliva tests it is

slightly low. but I go very high in the evenings and night. I don't sleep much.

I have been to numerous doctors and no one can seem to figure this out, although

they have given me medications for the thyroid and hormones and told me to take

adaptogens for the adrenals. nothing seems to work. I am worse.

I am hot and cold, have numerous hot flushes, my temps are low, have thinning

eyebrows,my eyes are swollen, losing my hair, no libido, shake rattle and roll

and I wake up in panic mode everyday, I dont look forward to the nights or days

anymore. I have no life.....

I think I have fibro because I am always in muscle pain with aches and very bad

tightness and rigidity throughout my neck,back and hips.

I have terrible sciatica in both my legs too.

I belong to several FB groups and they include lyme. I was tested by Igenex out

in CA and they found I had a positive band 41 and 66 with an indeterminate of

band 39. I was negative for PCR. I went to an infectious disease doctor, who

the groups are totally against because they follow the CDC and ISAD protocol and

not the ILADS protocol (which lyme literate doctors follow) The ID doctor does

not believe I have lyme nor did I test positive with Igenex standards. I don't

have some of the co-infectiosn that are associated with lyme. no testing was

done for babesia or bartonella. only erhlichia and ANA. the bands on the Quest

labs for lyme only tested for band 41 (IgG) and no others were positive. the

groups of course don't believe any lab but Igenex and they said I have it. so I

am freaking out a lot.

My doctor gave me the name of a lyme doctor in NJ and I made an appt. but I have

no money to pay him. all lyme doctors do not take insurance and they charge

outlandish fees. I don't know what to do. I am scared to death.

I take thyroid meds but not sure if I need them. I just recently started the

hormones again after starting and stopping and starting and stopping them. they

really scare me and ever since the WP, it seems they don't agree with me at all.

I am not sleeping now since re-starting them. I am only on Bi-Est 0.9mg/ml and

50mg of progesterone in cream form. I was taking oral trouches for the P but

stopped them.

I had cancer 2 yrs ago and have been too sick and not up to going back to the

oncologist to see if I am still in remission. the one thing that could kill me

I have put on the back burner.

I also take Rhodiola, holy basil, PS, GABA and sometimes Ashwaganda to support

the adrenals but honestly they are NOT working. due to recent events I have

suffered worse. my precious son, who is 30 and was a biology teacher, left 2

weeks ago into the Navy. he couldn't get a teaching job anywhere. as the time

drew closer to when he was leaving, I cried and cried and became so depressed.

it really threw me into another tail spin and I can't recover. my adrenals took

a big hit again. I am much worse now then ever. i don't know what to do to

fix this mess.

nothing I am doing is helping, nothing!!!

I don't feel lyme sick, but I feel adrenal sick. I don't know whether to cancel

the lyme doctor appt and go to Dr. Lindner in PA who treats adrenals, thyroid

and hormones and seems like he knows what he is talking about on his website.

both doctors don't take insurance. however my husband who doesn't believe I have

lyme (he doesn't believe I have anything and wants me to stop taking all my

medications and hormones and let nature take its course) he gives me a hard time

about everything and doesn't want to take me to any doctor. plus he bitches

about the lack of money.

all I know is that ever since WP came into my life (I curse that protocol) I

have NOT been me!!!! now I need to fix the mess but I don't know how and

nothing is making me feel any better. oh, I also take LDN (low dose naltrexone)

for the fibro pains which of course the lyme people say is coming from lyme. so

does this mean that everyone with fibro has lyme disease?

Can anyone give me hope, help and advice. am I the only one who has suffered by

the hand of Suzie?

Please please, I am so desperate. all i think about is ending this misery

because I don't see any light at the end of the dark tunnel. all I think about

is the bad and the what if's and the unknowns. and if what I am doing is

harming. no one is helping me. I feel so lost and scared.

Sorry for this rant, but I didn't know where else to go......

take care and be well,

Love,

Nanci