Re: Siblings without Rivalry

September 15, 2010

That is so ingenious and creative, Marcia. You astound me! I never would have

thought of that, but what a wonderful idea and it reduces sibling resentment,

which is a big problem for so many parents.

-Jen

>

> is right " Siblings without Rivalry " was extremely helpful book for

> raising all kids, not just the ones on the spectrum. It helped me with how

> to divide myself so there was not resentment by my " typical " child and how

> to include her in the solution for . She became one of the therapists

> and signed in with everyone else. When was only seven, we included

> her as part of 's educational team. would log in as one of the

> therapists and teach how to play. I think I paid her $1/hour. Back

> then lined up toys and obsessed over certain mechanical things. He

> didn't know how to play appropriately. taught pretend play

> better than any of the adults who had long forgotten how to do this. This

> made feel a part of the team and a part of the solution in helping

> .

>

> Every Saturday night, and I had " our special time. " No matter what

> happened during the week, she knew that on Saturday, it would be just Mommy

> and her and she didn't have to share me with anyone. We would plan for this

> time all week, buying the candy and treats that wasn't allowed to eat.

> Our goodies were stashed in several secret hiding places around the house.

> On Saturday night after the boys left for their adventure, and I would

> cuddle on the coach and watch " Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman " and eat junk food

> until our stomachs hurt.

>

> Recently, I admitted to that I thought the premise of the Dr. Quinn

> show was dumb. A woman doctor would never be accepted during that time

> period. She got mad at me for that and immediately went out and bought the

> DVD set of the series. Next, she sat me on the couch to watch it with her

> (at age 22) just to prove I was wrong. Those Saturday nights together were

> wonderful memories for both of us. I also loved the other book by the same

> authors, " How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk. "

>

> Marcia

>

September 15, 2010

I love this book! Everytime I feel like I can't get a handle on why they are

fighting or how to stop them- I take out this book and reread sections. I

always feel like a better parent afterwards because I feel like I have a plan

and am much calmer and the stuff works. Thats a great idea Marsha- see you get

busy with life and forget to do things- i'm going to start the mommy and me

night- what fun!

Thanks!