Guest guest Posted July 4, 2006 Report Share Posted July 4, 2006 Hi Theresa, Can you tell me more about the assistance dog? I would love to know more- what id the purpose? How did you hear? Are they trained for that purpose? Are they permitted everywhere the same as a seeing eye dog? And anything else you can tell me would be appreciated. Thanks:) Re: ( ) aggression > AMEN! I have sent emails to montel and dr. Phil last month, imploring > them to do shows to raise autism awareness. Maybe if they get more > requests (from parents like us:come on guys, send them some more) > then maybe we can get a response. Won't hurt to try anyway. > As for the meltdowns in public.........I'm in the process of getting > Jake an assistance dog, it will go with him everywhere, including > school and stores, I CANT WAIT! > > Theresa I think a really good person we should all write to is Oprah since she probably has the most popularity out of all these other talk show hosts. Though if any of the others did a show it would be good, but i think if we got Oprah to do a show on Aspergers and Autism it would really aware the public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 I am the same way when I teach now. I used to get quite agitated when kids seemed to take forever to do the work. I am so much more relaxed and sympathetic to individual kids needs. I think that all teachers need to raise an ASD kid bceause it certainly changes your " one rule for evey kid " attitude. Beck Re: ( ) aggression Hi! I think something like this (someone commenting in a store or from family, dirty looks, etc.) has happened to just about everyone on this list (I know it's happened to me!) It really has made me feel bad about all of the times I've seen a screaming child and thought, " bad parenting " , or " they should just do such-and-such " , or " they shouldn't give in to that whining! " I'm ashamed to admit, that's what I really thought. (How many of us have " given in " to a tantrum or whining in order to keep the peace so that we can " just get through the store " or " just get through this family gathering " ? I know I have). Having a child with an ASD has made me really think twice about being judgemental. I still am! But, I try not to be. - Adrienne __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 I recently received a packet of worksheets and activities from the SLP for my son to do over the summer. One thing he is working on is multiple meaning words. One worksheet gives scenarios, and you are to think of sentences using the correct usage. This was a loooong year, BTW. First worksheet, first sentence, here it is: A teacher is yelling at a student for daydreaming and not finishing his work. What could the teacher say? Use the word waste. It made me tense up in 18 different muscles. I could not give it to him like that. I changed it to: A teacher talks to a student about daydreaming and not finishing his work. Jackie On Jul 5, 2006, at 8:02 AM, Mark son wrote: > I am the same way when I teach now. I used to get quite agitated > when kids seemed to take forever to do the work. I am so much more > relaxed and sympathetic to individual kids needs. I think that all > teachers need to raise an ASD kid bceause it certainly changes your > " one rule for evey kid " attitude. > Beck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 Un-freaking-believable! My 18-year-old son thinks he is being yelled at even when I am speaking quietly and conversationally; something like this would freak him out. Who knows what he would come up with. Something awful, probably. Liz On Jul 5, 2006, at 5:54 AM, Jackie Geipel wrote: > > I recently received a packet of worksheets and activities from the > SLP for my son to do over the summer. One thing he is working on is > multiple meaning words. > One worksheet gives scenarios, and you are to think of sentences > using the correct usage. This was a loooong year, BTW. First > worksheet, first sentence, here it is: > > A teacher is yelling at a student for daydreaming and not finishing > his work. What could the teacher say? Use the word waste. > > It made me tense up in 18 different muscles. > > I could not give it to him like that. I changed it to: A teacher > talks to a student about daydreaming and not finishing his work. > > Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 I tell you, when I first opened it up, I thought it was a test to find out how long it would take me to email them with a complaint. Had it been the school year, it would have taken me about 2 minutes. Instead, I thanked the SLP for getting the packet to me. This worksheet also has a sentence about a sleepover with 10 kids and parents yelling downstairs about a " racket. " The rest of the packet is more kid- friendly. He is doing it right now. He didn't know what " bucks " means in regards to a horse. And he has no idea how much a CD costs for the other " bucks. " Jackie On Jul 5, 2006, at 12:33 PM, Liz Bohn wrote: > Un-freaking-believable! My 18-year-old son thinks he is being yelled > at even when I am speaking quietly and conversationally; something > like this would freak him out. Who knows what he would come up with. > Something awful, probably. > > Liz > > On Jul 5, 2006, at 5:54 AM, Jackie Geipel wrote: > >> >> I recently received a packet of worksheets and activities from the >> SLP for my son to do over the summer. One thing he is working on is >> multiple meaning words. >> One worksheet gives scenarios, and you are to think of sentences >> using the correct usage. This was a loooong year, BTW. First >> worksheet, first sentence, here it is: >> >> A teacher is yelling at a student for daydreaming and not finishing >> his work. What could the teacher say? Use the word waste. >> >> It made me tense up in 18 different muscles. >> >> I could not give it to him like that. I changed it to: A teacher >> talks to a student about daydreaming and not finishing his work. >> >> Jackie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 > OMG OMG OMG, his answer was: You're a waste of time. Me: Is that what Mr. Fourth Grade teacher would say? Him: Yes Me: Did he say that to you? Him: Yes Me: Are you sure he didn't say " you're wasting time " Him: No, he said " you're a waste of time. " Me: How often did he say that? Him: A lot Me: Did he say that to other kids, too? Him: yes No matter what was said, if my son HEARD what he thought, no wonder he was miserable in that class!! Jackie > On Jul 5, 2006, at 5:54 AM, Jackie Geipel wrote: > >> >> A teacher is yelling at a student for daydreaming and not finishing >> his work. What could the teacher say? Use the word waste. > > I could not give it to him like that. I changed it to: A teacher > talks to a student about daydreaming and not finishing his work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 > > Didn't anyone see the Dr. Phil about Asperger's? The teenage boy who > was so violent that his parents had to lock up thier knives for fear > that their son might slay them in the night? > When the Dr. said that had Asperger's, that's all I knew about > it. I told the Dr. that all I knew about Asperger's was on a Dr. Phil > show and the parents hid their knives. He about fell out of his > chair! I've noticed that Dr. Phil tends to sensationalize everything > and make it worse or more shocking than it really is. > > I think when people here the word " autistic " they think of the kid in > the corner rocking with a blank stare on his face. There are so many > facets of ASD's and it's such an epidemic that it deserves some air > time! And not just the negative aspects!! Yes, I did see the Dr. Phil show on AS, and I was disturbed about the lack of information. I would like to raise awareness of the general public, ie; those nosy people at the grocery store, public sevice employees, etc. To educate them about what they may be witnessing, and how their actions or inactions may interfere or escalate the situation. Raising awareness on a broad spectrum, I believe, will provide more opportunities in communities to create or expand existing social skills and other programs for our special kids. And whoever suggested Oprah, thanks! Got that done the other day. Here is the link for the organization that I am using for the autism assistance dog. http://4pawsforability.org/autismdogs.htm There are others, just do a google search. I just found after a bit of research that I liked this one best, seems to have the best training for the dog " recipient " than most of the other ones, we'll have to go to Ohio for two weeks of training before the dog is certified. Theresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 That's awful. I bet if you were to ask the teacher about it he would say he said " wasting time " instead of " waste of time " whether he actually said it or not. The first thing I thought was that is exactly the kind of phrase you can use on children knowing it sounds allot like the more benign version. Of course, I tend to think the worst of teachers right now considering how bad my sons year was last year too. It's amazing how careless these teachers are about what they say in front of our kids. I had to email my sons teacher many times about things she said as well. Of course, she always restated her words in much nicer ways for me but I always wondered how much was the truth and how much was covering her butt :-). Anyway, I'm sorry to hear your son had to get that from his teacher. Re: ( ) aggression > OMG OMG OMG, his answer was: You're a waste of time. Me: Is that what Mr. Fourth Grade teacher would say? Him: Yes Me: Did he say that to you? Him: Yes Me: Are you sure he didn't say " you're wasting time " Him: No, he said " you're a waste of time. " Me: How often did he say that? Him: A lot Me: Did he say that to other kids, too? Him: yes No matter what was said, if my son HEARD what he thought, no wonder he was miserable in that class!! Jackie > On Jul 5, 2006, at 5:54 AM, Jackie Geipel wrote: > >> >> A teacher is yelling at a student for daydreaming and not finishing >> his work. What could the teacher say? Use the word waste. > > I could not give it to him like that. I changed it to: A teacher > talks to a student about daydreaming and not finishing his work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 5, 2006 Report Share Posted July 5, 2006 They are a good agency from what I have seen. However, you must get a dog they have selected, they will not help you train one you have, although they will refer you to others that might help. Kathy K toozie@... _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of disorderlybehavior Sent: Wednesday, July 05, 2006 11:08 AM Subject: Re: ( ) aggression > > Didn't anyone see the Dr. Phil about Asperger's? The teenage boy who > was so violent that his parents had to lock up thier knives for fear > that their son might slay them in the night? > When the Dr. said that had Asperger's, that's all I knew about > it. I told the Dr. that all I knew about Asperger's was on a Dr. Phil > show and the parents hid their knives. He about fell out of his > chair! I've noticed that Dr. Phil tends to sensationalize everything > and make it worse or more shocking than it really is. > > I think when people here the word " autistic " they think of the kid in > the corner rocking with a blank stare on his face. There are so many > facets of ASD's and it's such an epidemic that it deserves some air > time! And not just the negative aspects!! Yes, I did see the Dr. Phil show on AS, and I was disturbed about the lack of information. I would like to raise awareness of the general public, ie; those nosy people at the grocery store, public sevice employees, etc. To educate them about what they may be witnessing, and how their actions or inactions may interfere or escalate the situation. Raising awareness on a broad spectrum, I believe, will provide more opportunities in communities to create or expand existing social skills and other programs for our special kids. And whoever suggested Oprah, thanks! Got that done the other day. Here is the link for the organization that I am using for the autism assistance dog. http://4pawsforabil <http://4pawsforability.org/autismdogs.htm> ity.org/autismdogs.htm There are others, just do a google search. I just found after a bit of research that I liked this one best, seems to have the best training for the dog " recipient " than most of the other ones, we'll have to go to Ohio for two weeks of training before the dog is certified. Theresa _____ I am using the free version of SPAMfighter for private users. It has removed 6931 spam emails to date. Paying users do not have this message in their emails. Try SPAMfighter <http://www.spamfighter.com/go.asp?t=249> for free now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 OMG did he really say that. That is terrible! And it is also bullying! I watched a report about that kind of thing the other day. There is this misconception that only students can bully other students but in fact teachers do it too. That sounds like verbal bullying to me. That teacher is a disgrace! Beck Re: ( ) aggression > OMG OMG OMG, his answer was: You're a waste of time. Me: Is that what Mr. Fourth Grade teacher would say? Him: Yes Me: Did he say that to you? Him: Yes Me: Are you sure he didn't say " you're wasting time " Him: No, he said " you're a waste of time. " Me: How often did he say that? Him: A lot Me: Did he say that to other kids, too? Him: yes No matter what was said, if my son HEARD what he thought, no wonder he was miserable in that class!! Jackie > On Jul 5, 2006, at 5:54 AM, Jackie Geipel wrote: > >> >> A teacher is yelling at a student for daydreaming and not finishing >> his work. What could the teacher say? Use the word waste. > > I could not give it to him like that. I changed it to: A teacher > talks to a student about daydreaming and not finishing his work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 You know, teachers can be the most insensitive people. I wonder why some of them even bother! What made them want to start teaching in the first place if they don't really care about our children? My had a really difficult year last year in 2nd grade. His teacher would tell him his cursive was the worst she had ever seen and that he didn't try and she would tell the whole class that never knew what he was doing, etc.......This is at a Catholic school too. I finally went to the principal and told her that this kind of thing had to stop or she would loose our tuition money! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 > > > And whoever suggested Oprah, thanks! Got that done the other day. > > > > Theresa Hi, Theresa. I was the one that suggested Oprah. Im glad to hear that you decided to write to her. I sent her an email as well. Though i think we are going to have to send her more than one since she probably gets over a million emails in one day. Hopefully she will notice ours out of everyone elses. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 Of course. Better teaching through humiliation. I think that’s a class in college. Roxanna Autism Happens _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Mantin Sent: Thursday, July 06, 2006 9:05 AM Subject: Re: ( ) aggression You know, teachers can be the most insensitive people. I wonder why some of them even bother! What made them want to start teaching in the first place if they don't really care about our children? My had a really difficult year last year in 2nd grade. His teacher would tell him his cursive was the worst she had ever seen and that he didn't try and she would tell the whole class that never knew what he was doing, etc.......This is at a Catholic school too. I finally went to the principal and told her that this kind of thing had to stop or she would loose our tuition money! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 There is a book I am going to order very soon called, “My Book Full of Feelings: How to Control and React to the SIZE of Your Emotions - An Interactive Workbook for Parents, Professionals & Children by Amy V. Jaffe and Luci Gardner” It looks nice. You can go to HYPERLINK " http://www.asperger.net/bookstore.htm " http://www.asperger.net/bookstore.htm and look up other titles. There are a number of them now, which is nice. Roxanna Autism Happens _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Mark son Sent: Thursday, June 29, 2006 1:23 AM Subject: ( ) aggression Help me anyone???!!! I know that aggression and AS go hand in hand but I was wondering if there is anything that can be done to help my HFA 5 year old son handle his anger. He used to be the total opposite and would withdraw in the fetal position when he was upset. From there he went through a phase of just shaking all over and screaming like a wild animal. Now he is getting aggressive, hitting at walls and people. Yesterday he was quietly playing the computer and suddenly I heard this almighty angry scream and then a huge bang. I went into his room just in time to see him throwing the keyboard across the room, the speakers and the monitor were already on the floor. He was angry because the game froze. It frightened me because he's so small (much smaller than he should be at his age) and not overly strong yet. I was thinking if this continues imagine what damage a bigger older kid could do. He has never taken any medication and the aggression only comes on when he is about to have a meltdown, or when he gets angry and frustrated. What do you guys recommend? I'd welcome any comments. Beck -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 I would have to reply, “Why would a teacher be yelling at a student?” Roxanna Autism Happens _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Jackie Geipel Sent: Wednesday, July 05, 2006 8:55 AM Subject: Re: ( ) aggression I recently received a packet of worksheets and activities from the SLP for my son to do over the summer. One thing he is working on is multiple meaning words. One worksheet gives scenarios, and you are to think of sentences using the correct usage. This was a loooong year, BTW. First worksheet, first sentence, here it is: A teacher is yelling at a student for daydreaming and not finishing his work. What could the teacher say? Use the word waste. It made me tense up in 18 different muscles. I could not give it to him like that. I changed it to: A teacher talks to a student about daydreaming and not finishing his work. Jackie On Jul 5, 2006, at 8:02 AM, Mark son wrote: > I am the same way when I teach now. I used to get quite agitated > when kids seemed to take forever to do the work. I am so much more > relaxed and sympathetic to individual kids needs. I think that all > teachers need to raise an ASD kid bceause it certainly changes your > " one rule for evey kid " attitude. > Beck -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 You need to probably teach him an alternate behavior during peaceful times and practice it for when he does have a meltdown. It is usually not enough to say “Don’t do that” to these kids. You have to tell them what TO do. So when he is angry, what should he do? Go hit a pillow? Write it down? Talk? Work it out – and how? Hold his breath for ten seconds? Figure out replacement behaviors to teach him. Then practice them and praise any attempts he takes to make use of them. Write them down so he can remember. Roxanna Autism Happens _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Ann Sent: Thursday, June 29, 2006 5:20 PM Subject: Re: ( ) aggression I don't have any answers either, but I have a similar problem. My 5 year old gets angry easily - mostly at home, and he generally takes it out on me when he does. I am sure I am not handling things well and that makes it worse. When he gets frustrated, I ask him to do something he doesn't want to, or gets into it with his younger sister over a toy or something else, he immediately goes into " Power Ranger mode " where he starts pretending he is a PR and fighting (usually me). I have given up on time outs between reading The Explosive Child and the pediatrician telling me that time outs aren't very effective anymore at this age. We have tried taking away toys/privileges and that just makes him worse. The other day he got mad and hit me when I took something from him that he had grabbed from his sister. So he got madder and hit me again and before we were done, I had taken away 4 toys and his computer/tv privileges for the rest of the day and sent him to his room, where he proceeded to keep opening and slamming his door as hard as he could. I ignored him and he did calm down after a few minutes - maybe that is what I need to do, but I can't just let him get away with acting however he wants all the time. I know what some of his triggers are (frustration, transitions, lost toys, sharing with his sister, etc.) but I can't always avoid them all. We've tried a timer for transitions and that doesn't work (he even grabbed the timer one day and put more time on it when I wasn't looking!). I definitely can't let him get away with the hitting. How do you teach them good behavior without causing even bigger meltdowns in the process? It's times like this I feel like the world's worst parent... -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2006 Report Share Posted July 8, 2006 If you have trouble confronting him, I would instead remove myself. For instance, instead of trying to move him to his room, you can tell him, “It is not acceptable to call me that name. I am going to my room to calm down now.” or alternately, ignoring them for a time. You could tell him you are not going to discuss anything with him for X minutes because he refuses to stop using a word. Just a thought. I know I will go and shut my door and when they Know I am doing it on purpose, they really wonder what they did. Definitely keep up with taking away computer time since that is what he likes so much. I know it’s hard. I did it with my now 17 yo about two years ago. He hated me for a long time too. If you can’t get him off the computer, you can take the mouse (which you did) or even undo the connection. My ds has his own computer and I can unhook them all from right here by turning the main box off. Try to keep the punishment as close to the crime as possible. For instance, if you ground him for many hours or days, it will be harder to reinforce good behavior because he will know he’s lost his computer time anyway. And days later he will forget why you were so mad to begin with. So try to keep it to the smallest time increments that you can so you can give it back and reinforce good behavior as soon as possible. Try your best to turn it around to a positive behavior plan whenever possible. I realize that is easier said than done and maybe it never can happen. But it’s a lot better if you can GIVE him computer time rather than take it away. So try finding a period of time where he is behaving well, then tell him he can have X time on the computer because you have appreciated how well is he talking to you. Even if he was already getting on the computer anyway, GIVE it to him before he gets there. It can help you reinforce the positive if you are not seeing a lot of it. Hang in there! Roxanna ôô “If you’ve told a child a thousand times and he still does not understand, then it is not the child who is the slow learner.” Walter Barbee _____ From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of fhdonovan Sent: Sunday, July 02, 2006 10:36 PM Subject: ( ) Re: aggression Hi Pam and others, I haven't been keeping up with posts (been deleting a lot) because I'm so fried!! But seeing the one on agression - I looked at the old postings. I'm fried BECAUSE of my 14 yo son's aggression. I just don't know what to do. It has gotten worse with puberty, but I can see there were inklings of it earlier. His behavior is verbally abusive, (I really don't think he will actually hit me) he'll say, " get out " , " shut up " anywhere from under his breath to pretty loudly. He also swears, not always at me, but more than enough times. I have told him that I don't want him to swear in my presence. Problem is, I need to have the guts to turn off the computer when he's being disrespectful. (He pretty much lives on the computer. I don't like it, but I have to pick my spots and right now it's the disrespect I have to deal with.) I have just started taking away computer time, this very evening. He was disrespectful and I told him he'd lost two hours of computer time. (I had gone over the rules with him the night before). Well, he got really mad, called me names, and punched a lamp. I told him to go to his room for 15 minutes because I needed him away from me. He refused and tried to close himself into the coat closet and said if he was in the closet, he was away from me and didn't need to go to his room. I think this part might have been the teenage power struggle? But the intensity of it!! Finally I went over and unplugged the computer mouse. (So he did go to his room for about an hour and a half, then came back down and both of us were calm). Changing things is like trying to turn a giant battleship around - I know I need to be consistent, but I feel terrible. Also, his name- calling is so pervasive, I don't know if I can do this every time. But I have to or I'll be right back where I started. My son's psychatrist (med management) suggested I try something for those times when I anticipate a struggle with him. I had told her I think I need valium or something so I don't get so anxious. (Actually, I get pretty frightened - I have a lot of trouble dealing with angry people in general, and when they're angry at me I just want to disappear.) A friend suggested I try " Rescue Remedy " but I keep forgetting. Anyone have any suggestions on how to stay calm while being the target of the storm? I feel a little better just writing this, and knowing I'm not alone in having trouble dealing with my son's agression. By the way, his father and I are separated - his dad is undiagnosed Asperger's and doesn't set limits for him or confront him often. Besides, his dad swears a lot. Guess where he learned it? Helena -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.10/383 - Release Date: 7/7/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 > > > On Jul 5, 2006, at 1:21 PM, Ms. Tabitha Bingham wrote: >> It's amazing how careless these teachers are about what they say in >> front of our kids. Okay, I set a sheet of paper on the table that said " 3 to 5 things I wish Mr. Teacher would have never said to anyone. " I gave him no instructions or explanations. 1. You're a waste of time. 2. You're not going to fifth grade. (mostly said to another boy who struggles with executive function) 3. Well, it's YOUR fault. (said to my son, and he demonstrated the voice--ugh) Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Jeez...why do people assume that anyone who is developmentally disabled (eg.) is also deaf and/or incapable of feelings? No wonder so many of our kids have problems with self-esteem! Pat-mom to Josh (16 yo AS) and Sara (13 yo AS) Jackie Geipel <jackie@...> wrote: > > > On Jul 5, 2006, at 1:21 PM, Ms. Tabitha Bingham wrote: >> It's amazing how careless these teachers are about what they say in >> front of our kids. Okay, I set a sheet of paper on the table that said " 3 to 5 things I wish Mr. Teacher would have never said to anyone. " I gave him no instructions or explanations. 1. You're a waste of time. 2. You're not going to fifth grade. (mostly said to another boy who struggles with executive function) 3. Well, it's YOUR fault. (said to my son, and he demonstrated the voice--ugh) Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 It's one thing to not be sure of what to say to or how to deal with a special needs child. But, c'mon, this is a regular classroom. You shouldn't be talking this way to any 9 yo in a classroom! I live in a neighborhood where all these kids have well-stocked college funds, and they'll use them. We don't live in a place where kids need the crap scared out of them in order to push them to produce work. As a side note, the first event in the last cascade that ended in a suspension started because my son misspelled a word on his spelling test. Another teacher had misspelled it on his study list earlier in the week. He had told (okay, yelled) " it's not my fault I misspelled that word " to the teacher. And now I know why he yelled that. Jackie On Jul 9, 2006, at 3:09 PM, PATRICIA MAIN wrote: > Jeez...why do people assume that anyone who is developmentally > disabled (eg.) is also deaf and/or incapable of feelings? No > wonder so many of our kids have problems with self-esteem! > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 I am trying anew method for aggression control with my son and so far it seems to be working. He likes to hide when he is upset so we've created a little hiding spot under the shelf in the pantry. I put pillows and a blanket under there and a torch and a box of tiny toys. And when he feels that he is upset he is encouraged to go there and rest and calm himself. So far it seems to be working. ( But now after reading that other post about welfare workers someone might think it's Isaac's actual sleeping bed and report us ) Beck Re: ( ) aggression I don't have any answers either, but I have a similar problem. My 5 year old gets angry easily - mostly at home, and he generally takes it out on me when he does. I am sure I am not handling things well and that makes it worse. When he gets frustrated, I ask him to do something he doesn't want to, or gets into it with his younger sister over a toy or something else, he immediately goes into " Power Ranger mode " where he starts pretending he is a PR and fighting (usually me). I have given up on time outs between reading The Explosive Child and the pediatrician telling me that time outs aren't very effective anymore at this age. We have tried taking away toys/privileges and that just makes him worse. The other day he got mad and hit me when I took something from him that he had grabbed from his sister. So he got madder and hit me again and before we were done, I had taken away 4 toys and his computer/tv privileges for the rest of the day and sent him to his room, where he proceeded to keep opening and slamming his door as hard as he could. I ignored him and he did calm down after a few minutes - maybe that is what I need to do, but I can't just let him get away with acting however he wants all the time. I know what some of his triggers are (frustration, transitions, lost toys, sharing with his sister, etc.) but I can't always avoid them all. We've tried a timer for transitions and that doesn't work (he even grabbed the timer one day and put more time on it when I wasn't looking!). I definitely can't let him get away with the hitting. How do you teach them good behavior without causing even bigger meltdowns in the process? It's times like this I feel like the world's worst parent... -- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.394 / Virus Database: 268.9.9/382 - Release Date: 7/4/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 I would take that list to the principal and show him/her some of the things this teacher has said... Toni > Jeez...why do people assume that anyone who is > developmentally disabled (eg.) is also deaf and/or > incapable of feelings? No wonder so many of our kids have > problems with self-esteem! > > Pat-mom to Josh (16 yo AS) and Sara (13 yo AS) > > Jackie Geipel <jackie@...> wrote: > > > > > > On Jul 5, 2006, at 1:21 PM, Ms. Tabitha Bingham wrote: > >> It's amazing how careless these teachers are about what > they say in >> front of our kids. > > Okay, I set a sheet of paper on the table that said " 3 to > 5 things I wish Mr. Teacher would have never said to > anyone. " > > I gave him no instructions or explanations. > > 1. You're a waste of time. > 2. You're not going to fifth grade. (mostly said to > another boy who struggles with executive function) > 3. Well, it's YOUR fault. (said to my son, and he > demonstrated the voice--ugh) > > Jackie > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 On Jul 10, 2006, at 11:02 AM, kbtoni@... wrote: > > I would take that list to the principal and show him/her > some of the things this teacher has said... Toni > I asked my mom, the former special ed teacher, and she said no. She said there is already enough I have to fight for that it's not worth muddying the waters for something that won't affect my child anymore. It's a complex issue. I want to, but I am holding back for now. It's not just an Asperger thing, though. There are NT kids that have been embarrassed by his comments towards them in front of the class. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 I completely understand. We have to be careful with what battles we choose to fight, Sadly we all know that too well. That teacher needs to find another profession. Toni > On Jul 10, 2006, at 11:02 AM, kbtoni@... wrote: > > > > > I would take that list to the principal and show him/her > > some of the things this teacher has said... Toni > > > > I asked my mom, the former special ed teacher, and she > said no. She said there is already enough I have to fight > for that it's not worth muddying the waters for something > that won't affect my child anymore. > > It's a complex issue. I want to, but I am holding back > for now. > > It's not just an Asperger thing, though. There are NT > kids that have been embarrassed by his comments towards > them in front of the class. > > Jackie > I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can CHOOSE which it shall be. Groucho Marx _________________________________________ Check your Email accounts at MyEmail.com Login from home, work, school. Anywhere! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 > > I completely understand. We have to be careful with what > battles we choose to fight, Sadly we all know that too well. > That teacher needs to find another profession. Toni > > The principal already knows that his style affected my son due to his " misunderstanding. " I told her, for one, a couple weeks before school ended out of necessity. Then I sent a copy of his letter to the fifth grade teacher which showed all the glory of Aspie tactless honesty. That was attached to my note that said " please choose his fifth grade teacher with great care. It will benefit everyone. " I also filled out a standard parent input form for next year, but I bet mine wins the prize for the longest and most descript! LOL Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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