IEP Meetings

[Guest guest]

When I was advocating I took charge until I had trained the parents to do so

themselves. This sometimes took only one meeting, sometimes several. I always

took my GIANT copy of the state regs with me and it was so dogearred and

highlighted that they knew I knew what I was talking about. I especially loved

quoting the ADA because they know little about it.

I have been emotional from time to time but I NEVER cry. I love the

commercial " Never let 'em see you sweat. " That's a good motto. If you cry,

they will label you " an emotional mom " and it will make things more difficult

when attempting to get what you want. The educational folks don't always

understand. This is YOUR child's future and you have to fight people who should

be on your child's side. They would be emotional too if it were their child,

but they do tend to forget that, so we have to be super moms.

Elaine

IEP Meetings

Hi

I think I already told you all that I was helping some old friends from

Sara's old school fix some of their problems with their programs, WELL

yesterday I attended an IEP meeting for one of these children. I was greeted

and treated with a lot of respect. All of the professionals remembered Sara

and myself and inquired how we were doing, commenting on how much they

enjoyed Sara lol this was prior to the meeting ............. boy they must

have a short memory since I left this school making them all angry lol ANYWAY

this meeting was like nothing I have ever been involved in, Sooooooo many

procedural violations, lies, cover-ups, adversarial language on both sides. I

was able to interject on quite a few occasions quoting the law on this and

that ............ they answered me very politely " Yes Mrs. you are

right " The meeting only made it to the parental concerns part of the IEP, the

Mom got so upset she lost it in the meeting, cried hysterically to the point

I said this meeting is over and escorted the Mom to the bathroom. This

appalled me, that this group of professionals could drive this awesome Mom to

this point. Truthfully, if this had been Sara's IEP meeting I would not have

conducted it the manner this Mom did, she gets kind of winded on issues, Im

more direct and I fire questions at them one after another ............. Im

more short sweet to the point, set them up and then hit them with what I

want, this would take maybe 30 mins and then we could move on. We spent 3

hours on parental concerns in this meeting.

Well, I didn't want to get to lengthy with this but just wanted to share my

experiences. Im still dealing with my own problems in Sara's program. And

since the professionals there obviously refuse to use " planned ignoring " of

some of Sara's silly behaviors I WILL lol Her FBA is still going on and we

will meet soon to draw up a plan. I am very frustrated right now that they

are not following her old plan and it looks like I am going to have to write

some state complaints, and OCR complaints. Ive given them to many chance

already to comply, the next step is mine.

Kathy mom to Sara 10

[Guest guest]

My son has been participating in a self advocacy program at school. They

help the students understand what an IEP is and what they strengths and needs

are. That was the only part of the meeting he participated in. He was very

excited about attending. He did get a little nervous and shy, but his speech

the

rapist (who facilitates the advocacy program) was right there supporting him

all the way. I attend alot of IEP meetings with families as part of my job and

I think he was interested to see " what I do " . Granted if anything

controversial or negative was going to be discussed he wouldn't have attended.

Pam

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Pam, this is really awesome of your school to do. Is this for the 10 yo? Are

they following a specific program or winging it? I advocated for this for kids

in my own district but it really didn't fly with anyone else as

important....yet...

Roxanna

Re: ( ) IEP meetings

My son has been participating in a self advocacy program at school. They

help the students understand what an IEP is and what they strengths and needs

are. That was the only part of the meeting he participated in. He was very

excited about attending. He did get a little nervous and shy, but his speech

the

rapist (who facilitates the advocacy program) was right there supporting him

all the way. I attend alot of IEP meetings with families as part of my job and

I think he was interested to see " what I do " . Granted if anything

controversial or negative was going to be discussed he wouldn't have attended.

Pam

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

they aren't following a specific curriculum, but apparently the push is for

this kind of student advocacy to begin district wide. We are just lucky to

have a very experienced, proactive speech therapist who takes these things on

herself. Pam

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Winner had good ideas for self advocacy if she hasn't heard of her yet.

Roxanna

Re: ( ) IEP meetings

they aren't following a specific curriculum, but apparently the push is for this kind of student advocacy to begin district wide. We are just lucky to have a very experienced, proactive speech therapist who takes these things on herself. Pam ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Oh they have definitely heard of her.. spoke and ran a conference in October here and all Conor's therapists were there. Pam :)See what's free at AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Listmates,

I just had a mom email me privately about how difficult the IEP meetings

have been with a particular teacher. I know we have all been there at some

point. I wanted to share part of my response just in case it helps someone

else having a similar issue. I also have an article about to navigate the

IEP meetings. Email me privately if you want me to forward it to you.

The tricky part of the IEP is not letting them know how you truly feel. I

would walk into the IEP meeting with cookies and pop for everyone and a

great big smile on my face. I was so pleasant (not really like me). When I

would get too emotional or forget to act like I loved everyone at the

meeting, my husband would kick me under the table. I acted nice but they

all knew I would take it to the wall if I needed to.

I never had to push at the IEP because my reputation in our district

preceded me. Whenever our superintendent screwed up I would write a letter

to the local paper detailing his stupidity. I publicly chastised him every

time he did things that weren't in the best interests of the children and

attended all school board meetings so I knew what was really going on. And

he did that a lot.

This superintendent was the release valve for all my anger of dealing with

's autism. At least when I was resentful because I had to teach my kid

everything other children just learning naturally, I did some good for

others.

I took the following from article I wrote concerning how to survive the IEP

and it is really the most important part of dealing with these people:

" One of the most important things I learned about navigating the IEP

meetings was to put ALL requests for services in writing and distribute them

before the meeting to everyone who would be present. When things are put in

writing everything is documented. There are no questions or

misunderstandings about what you think is " is necessary to meet your child's

educational needs. " Remember that quoted phrase; it is extremely important

special educational jargon that is crucial to use in order to get what your

child needs. When phrases like " meet 's educational needs " are used,

they know you are serious about your requests. It is a signal to the IEP

team that you know your rights, and could possibly take legal action if they

do not provide what is requested.

I know that sounds very confrontational. But these meetings weren't. I was

always able to get what I needed in a nice way. I acted as 's

caseworker. I think the IEP team was relieved that I was the one planning

's program instead of them. Most educators truly want to help your

child, but have too many kids to provide services for. They are expected to

plan wonderful programs for hundreds of kids, fill out piles of paperwork,

and in between actually work with your child. It would have been impossible

for them to be as thorough as I could be when I had only one child's program

to plan. Although I wanted someone to do all of this for me, I learned a

long time ago that I was the one who was ultimately responsible for helping

get better. "

Hope this helps and remember I'm here and get it anytime you need me to talk

you down from the ledge.

Best,

Marcia

[Guest guest]

Marcia,

This is fantastic advice!! For us it has also been extremely important to

let my husband take the lead in running the IEP meeting. I am way too

emotionally attached and involved in the details of what our son needs. My

husband is more calm and business like. And since the folks at our meeting

have been women only they tend to listen to a man better, and in our case

give us what we want when presented in this manner. Go figure. Of course I

tell my husband everything we need for our son.

Just some thoughts. And I agree with the cookies and pop. We also took an

8x10 picture of our son to the meeting so the people that didn't know him

could see how absolutely adorable this child that we are fighting for

is.

Keep the advice coming, Marcia. Always love what insights you have.

Martha

On Thu, Oct 14, 2010 at 7:56 AM, and Marcia Hinds <

hindssite@...> wrote:

>

>

> Listmates,

>

> I just had a mom email me privately about how difficult the IEP meetings

> have been with a particular teacher. I know we have all been there at some

> point. I wanted to share part of my response just in case it helps someone

> else having a similar issue. I also have an article about to navigate the

> IEP meetings. Email me privately if you want me to forward it to you.

>

> The tricky part of the IEP is not letting them know how you truly feel. I

> would walk into the IEP meeting with cookies and pop for everyone and a

> great big smile on my face. I was so pleasant (not really like me). When I

> would get too emotional or forget to act like I loved everyone at the

> meeting, my husband would kick me under the table. I acted nice but they

> all knew I would take it to the wall if I needed to.

>

> I never had to push at the IEP because my reputation in our district

> preceded me. Whenever our superintendent screwed up I would write a letter

> to the local paper detailing his stupidity. I publicly chastised him every

> time he did things that weren't in the best interests of the children and

> attended all school board meetings so I knew what was really going on. And

> he did that a lot.

>

> This superintendent was the release valve for all my anger of dealing with

> 's autism. At least when I was resentful because I had to teach my kid

> everything other children just learning naturally, I did some good for

> others.

>

> I took the following from article I wrote concerning how to survive the IEP

> and it is really the most important part of dealing with these people:

>

> " One of the most important things I learned about navigating the IEP

> meetings was to put ALL requests for services in writing and distribute

> them

> before the meeting to everyone who would be present. When things are put in

> writing everything is documented. There are no questions or

> misunderstandings about what you think is " is necessary to meet your

> child's

> educational needs. " Remember that quoted phrase; it is extremely important

> special educational jargon that is crucial to use in order to get what your

> child needs. When phrases like " meet 's educational needs " are used,

> they know you are serious about your requests. It is a signal to the IEP

> team that you know your rights, and could possibly take legal action if

> they

> do not provide what is requested.

>

> I know that sounds very confrontational. But these meetings weren't. I was

> always able to get what I needed in a nice way. I acted as 's

> caseworker. I think the IEP team was relieved that I was the one planning

> 's program instead of them. Most educators truly want to help your

> child, but have too many kids to provide services for. They are expected to

> plan wonderful programs for hundreds of kids, fill out piles of paperwork,

> and in between actually work with your child. It would have been impossible

> for them to be as thorough as I could be when I had only one child's

> program

> to plan. Although I wanted someone to do all of this for me, I learned a

> long time ago that I was the one who was ultimately responsible for helping

> get better. "

>

> Hope this helps and remember I'm here and get it anytime you need me to

> talk

> you down from the ledge.

>

> Best,

>

> Marcia

>

>

[Guest guest]

Excellent advice for IEP meetings, Marcia. I do similar things to prepare for

IEPs. Now that Noah's in 4th grade and we've done this a few times, placement is

usually not an issue.Most of our IEPs now focus almost exclusively on goals. I

always ask for the teachers and SLPs to provide me with their ideas for goals. I

add mine, rework theirs, and they usually agree to most everything I recommend.

It also helps if you can volunteer at the school or volunteer to take some work

home to help out the teacher. Also, I buy extra school supplies when I see a

good sale and send them in with the kids periodically. They especially seem to

like Scotch tape and staples, which are really economical if you buy them at

warehouse stores.

Instead of working with the PTA or booster clubs, I prefer to help the teachers

with their everyday work. They are truly grateful and it shows come IEP time.

All the best,

Robyn

p.s. I also get a heads up on issues before they become problems with my boys.

From: and Marcia Hinds <hindssite@...>

Subject: IEP Meetings

Date: Thursday, October 14, 2010, 5:56 AM

 

Listmates,

I just had a mom email me privately about how difficult the IEP meetings

have been with a particular teacher. I know we have all been there at some

point. I wanted to share part of my response just in case it helps someone

else having a similar issue. I also have an article about to navigate the

IEP meetings. Email me privately if you want me to forward it to you.

The tricky part of the IEP is not letting them know how you truly feel. I

would walk into the IEP meeting with cookies and pop for everyone and a

great big smile on my face. I was so pleasant (not really like me). When I

would get too emotional or forget to act like I loved everyone at the

meeting, my husband would kick me under the table. I acted nice but they

all knew I would take it to the wall if I needed to.

I never had to push at the IEP because my reputation in our district

preceded me. Whenever our superintendent screwed up I would write a letter

to the local paper detailing his stupidity. I publicly chastised him every

time he did things that weren't in the best interests of the children and

attended all school board meetings so I knew what was really going on. And

he did that a lot.

This superintendent was the release valve for all my anger of dealing with

's autism. At least when I was resentful because I had to teach my kid

everything other children just learning naturally, I did some good for

others.

I took the following from article I wrote concerning how to survive the IEP

and it is really the most important part of dealing with these people:

" One of the most important things I learned about navigating the IEP

meetings was to put ALL requests for services in writing and distribute them

before the meeting to everyone who would be present. When things are put in

writing everything is documented. There are no questions or

misunderstandings about what you think is " is necessary to meet your child's

educational needs. " Remember that quoted phrase; it is extremely important

special educational jargon that is crucial to use in order to get what your

child needs. When phrases like " meet 's educational needs " are used,

they know you are serious about your requests. It is a signal to the IEP

team that you know your rights, and could possibly take legal action if they

do not provide what is requested.

I know that sounds very confrontational. But these meetings weren't. I was

always able to get what I needed in a nice way. I acted as 's

caseworker. I think the IEP team was relieved that I was the one planning

's program instead of them. Most educators truly want to help your

child, but have too many kids to provide services for. They are expected to

plan wonderful programs for hundreds of kids, fill out piles of paperwork,

and in between actually work with your child. It would have been impossible

for them to be as thorough as I could be when I had only one child's program

to plan. Although I wanted someone to do all of this for me, I learned a

long time ago that I was the one who was ultimately responsible for helping

get better. "

Hope this helps and remember I'm here and get it anytime you need me to talk

you down from the ledge.

Best,

Marcia

[Guest guest]

Great advice, Robin. The only way to really know what is going on is to be

there.

[Guest guest]

IEP_guide/links

>

> Listmates,

>

> I just had a mom email me privately about how difficult the IEP meetings

> have been with a particular teacher. I know we have all been there at some

> point. I wanted to share part of my response just in case it helps someone

> else having a similar issue. I also have an article about to navigate the

> IEP meetings. Email me privately if you want me to forward it to you.

>

> The tricky part of the IEP is not letting them know how you truly feel. I

> would walk into the IEP meeting with cookies and pop for everyone and a

> great big smile on my face. I was so pleasant (not really like me). When I

> would get too emotional or forget to act like I loved everyone at the

> meeting, my husband would kick me under the table. I acted nice but they

> all knew I would take it to the wall if I needed to.

>

> I never had to push at the IEP because my reputation in our district

> preceded me. Whenever our superintendent screwed up I would write a letter

> to the local paper detailing his stupidity. I publicly chastised him every

> time he did things that weren't in the best interests of the children and

> attended all school board meetings so I knew what was really going on. And

> he did that a lot.

>

> This superintendent was the release valve for all my anger of dealing with

> 's autism. At least when I was resentful because I had to teach my kid

> everything other children just learning naturally, I did some good for

> others.

>

> I took the following from article I wrote concerning how to survive the IEP

> and it is really the most important part of dealing with these people:

>

>

>

> " One of the most important things I learned about navigating the IEP

> meetings was to put ALL requests for services in writing and distribute them

> before the meeting to everyone who would be present. When things are put in

> writing everything is documented. There are no questions or

> misunderstandings about what you think is " is necessary to meet your child's

> educational needs. " Remember that quoted phrase; it is extremely important

> special educational jargon that is crucial to use in order to get what your

> child needs. When phrases like " meet 's educational needs " are used,

> they know you are serious about your requests. It is a signal to the IEP

> team that you know your rights, and could possibly take legal action if they

> do not provide what is requested.

>

> I know that sounds very confrontational. But these meetings weren't. I was

> always able to get what I needed in a nice way. I acted as 's

> caseworker. I think the IEP team was relieved that I was the one planning

> 's program instead of them. Most educators truly want to help your

> child, but have too many kids to provide services for. They are expected to

> plan wonderful programs for hundreds of kids, fill out piles of paperwork,

> and in between actually work with your child. It would have been impossible

> for them to be as thorough as I could be when I had only one child's program

> to plan. Although I wanted someone to do all of this for me, I learned a

> long time ago that I was the one who was ultimately responsible for helping

> get better. "

>

> Hope this helps and remember I'm here and get it anytime you need me to talk

> you down from the ledge.

>

> Best,

>

> Marcia

>

>

>

>

>

>