Re: No Subject

[Guest guest]

Dear JD:

Hi! How are you feeling? I'm doing good these days, I feel realy strong.

Yesterday I went food shopping with Barbara (yet another sister) and I was able

to push myself the whole ime- which is not erribly exciting but great that I

acomplished such a feat (smile). In Maine, I believe Stonington is more north

about 2 hours from Dorothy and she does not live on the coast. I swear her town

is so small it does not show up on a map!! But its nice though because everyone

knows eachother. Like, everytime Dorothy goes to the General Store the owner

asks

for me and when I am visiting he gives Dor candies for me- just a really nice

thing to do... up there she can leave the keys in her car when she goes into a

store and there is no traffic! Its nice, but Im a city girl so I couldnt live

there long, Id miss the ocean air and life in the fast lane. Still, I really

like

it if I could visit after the snow for the summer and fall. That would be great.

Yes, the foliae is remarkable and I can understand why Michie would want to

paint!! But Its not just the foliage, its the air- the smell is somehow fresher

and clearer. On the coast it would be a saltiness to it I would enjoy very much.

I think the reason I got the tatoos is because, for one thing my body is

doing all this weird stuff that I can't control, growing tumors and becoming

deaf

all that crap... but I CAN control what is going to be on my body! Hence, I have

a fairy on my leg. She is pretty and looking at flowers and leaves. And I have a

purple flower with vines and leaves on my arm. Both are nice as far as tatoos

go!

This is a way of exercising MY control, just a little and a strange way. God

knows I've had enough shots and pain to last a lifetime... compared to that the

tatoos were really not that bad. They hurt but as long as I did not look at the

gun I was okay. It also helped that my friend held my hand and told me to

breath, breathe

Do I get lonely? Yes! I think everyone does sometimes. In 96 when I had the

" Doozie " menengioma out and was in the hospital for rehab more than 6 months it

was bad!! I was so lonely and jealous of my friends for going on with their

lives

and in a way just forgetting me. Its been so hard and in a way Im not over

it....when I was in the hospital last summer and not a friend came to visit.My

family, and interprers and I got cards and stuff but it was not the same- I just

keot telling myself life goes on and people get busy but it hurt. I have 4

sisters and they all try very hard to keep me busy, to make sure I get out and

do stuff (shopping or whatever) I love my sisters so much but still miss my

friends terribly. They all live in different states now. Its weird. Funny thing

is I actually LIKE to be alone once in a while i LIKE my privacy. But I don't

like to be lonely, no one does...

We just have o dwell on the good parts of our lives I know its hard to find

them, but they are there, like for me personally I had a really happy childhood

and like to dwell on those days. I have 4 wonderful nephews and 3 beautiful

nieces, I feel so lucky to have them!! When Im feeling down I will visit one of

them! Then there are my sisters whom I adore and admire. They are always there

for me too!! All this does not take the lonliness away, but it helps " lighten

the

load " sometimes. Then there is e-mail! Where would we be without it? No crew and

I wouldn't know you!!

I am really sorry about your dog. You know I'd like a dog....I wanted a

hearing dog for a while but Id rather have a small puppy to sit on my lap and

spoil and sttuff. I'd really like a Boston Terrier from breeder, Diane wants to

save a mutt from the pound. We'll see who wins!

Dorothy has a group of reinds that get together once a month. They call

themselves the YAYAs also. Did you ever read the book, TO Kill A Mockingbird?? I

LOVE that book and LOVE the movie. I watched it last week. Peck is

awesome. See if they have that in brille Im sure they do. Ive read it twice so

far.. Just a nice, slow easy book!

I have to go eat lunch. Take care and write back

love- JJ

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>

> I was just thinking about you and wondering when you were getting back to

> Boston and viola you appeared in my mailbox. You must be psychic! I am glad

> to hear you had a good time and you stayed longer than you had told me you

> might so that is great.

>

> My friend Michie was in Maine at the same time.She lives in DC but has a

> summer house in Stonington and was there for a month to close it up and paint

> (artistically) for a few weeks. She is gaga over that place and did not want

> to leave but it was getting cold... her cottage is not well insulated and she

> lives on the coast. She sent email from there descrigixx describing several

> sceneries and I am pretty jealous of you guys. Neat you got to see friends so

> much and got out to enjoy the weather.

>

> True we do not get as cold as you but our summers are hell... sorry only word

> that fits. Very humid and very hot and I have difficulty cooling off so I try

> to avoid the outside alot in summer so not sure which is the worse of two

> evils. It is not like Florida here... a little but more humid I think. Maybe

> you should do like my great aunt who lives in Kansas and spends her winters

> in Arizona! It has been very pretty here lately so I have been trying to get

> out a little more.

>

> I still have not gotten my hands on a braille edition of YaYa Sisterhood. Our

> state library just transfered all braille services to Utah... a bigger

> smoother running library... so maybe they have a copy. I will ask next time I

> need a book. This is a funny side bar... I have a group of friends I call

> the girls group and we try to do something all together at least once or

> twice a month. We have been busy as of late since it is so pretty. Well

> there is a very creative but kookie lady who has dubbed the group the JaJas

> for friends of Jordan bc they all started as my friends and I introduced them

> to each other so now we are the JaJas! I thought that would make you laugh

> since you are the one who told me about the YaYa book first.

>

> No you can never ask me a too nosy question if it is asked in earnest

> curiosity. I do not use a PCA... yet! I still am able to shower and dress

> myself. I have several grab bars in the shower part of the bathroom as well

> as an ice chest in the tub that serves as a shower seat. Dont ask... my

> shower is weird sized so no standard seat fit so Mom coonass rigged this ice

> chest... works well tho, grin. I use a wheelchair for outside trips alot but

> it is mainly due to crappy balance and it is easier for people to just push

> me rather than try to guide a wobbly walker. I use a wheeled walker for short

> trips that I love. Also my endurance has dropped from being so out of it this

> uxx summer. So no first hand help.

>

> About the PCA, I was on the board of directors of an independent living

> center and participated in some group client events so can share a bit more

> from them. First it (what the PCA can do) depends on how they are being paid.

> Your state might have specific txx guidelines on what a PCA can do or not do

> but if you are shelling out the cash then it is between you and the person

> you hire as to what they are to do for you. There was a man who had had a

> stroke and was in a chair and needed assistance for things and he had a PCA

> who drove him places but also took care of daily things like bathing I

> believe.

>

> nne had a lady I think that drove her into Philly occasionally and I

> have heard of people and their PCA going to the ALDAcon. I think maybe it can

> be worked out that they travel too sometimes. I have wondered how that works

> myself bc you said you had a deaf blind friend that went to England or

> somewhere and took his interpreter. I wonder if the interpt went just for the

> trip and did not charge a daily fee or if the trip was part of his salary and

> the deaf blind man had to pay for the trip and a daily salary?? That could

> get quite expensive if a daily salary was in addition to them paying hotel

> food airfare etc. Interps make bunches of money an hour. I need to ask

> someone that question bc I am just interested but assume a PCA would work the

> same way right.

>

> I think what you are doing is great and I know Deane will appreciate the

> freedom too. I know if the time comes when I need one I am going to do it and

> not ask my Mom to try and do it all. Right now they do alot for me with

> fixing my food etc. I do wash my own clothes with a neat coding system but I

> am lazy about fixing food and they just do it faster, and neater and yeah

> tastier, smile. Let me know how that is going.

>

> I have a personal question for you and please do not answer if it upsets you.

> Do you ever get lonely and how do you get over it or help yourself get out of

> that feeling?? I have had a little trouble lately with feeling really lonely

> sometimes ... everyday at least twice for a month. I have tried in the last

> few days to stay busier and vary my routine but still get a little lonely at

> night.

>

> I am not sure if I told you but I lost my little doggie this past May and I

> also started to get sick then and really missed him but was trying to cope

> with all the pain stuff. Now that I feel better I have started to miss him

> alot again. Kind of like he was always there for me ya know when I wanted a

> cuddle pal. We have a new dog... ... a German Shepherd and she is

> great but is Dads dog and is not like cuddle hound Winston was. I was just

> curious how you handled those times. Maybe you stay so busy and have so many

> sisters this is not a problem for you. I will get better and am finding a few

> ways to not make the feeling so overwhelming!

>

> I am interested in your tatoos young lady! You mean you voluntarily got

> stuck with needles! Are you a sick puppy or what! I detest needles and avoid

> them at all costs. I count shots before I go to the hospital and count

> down... one over whew, etc. That interests me tho and I wonder what you have

> and where. on the Crew... her dad is a Hells Angel... has two

> tattoos... monkeys on her sholder and hip I think. Be an interesting question

> for the Crew... who has them and what do others think about them. Maybe that

> would offend some people bec I am sure some answers would not be positive but

> since old dear Roscoe is off maybe it would not be so bad, smile. I am glad

> Carla kicked his fat butt off. I should have had the nevxx nerve to do it

> years ago but sigh did not. I am glad the Crew withstood that tho and keeps

> on ticking!

>

> Well let me scoot but thanks for your email and take very good care of

> yourself.

>

> warmest hugs, JD

[Guest guest]

Hi crew,

I just wanted to tell you I have no idea how the crew got my letter to

Jordan, its really,really,really weird! All I can think of is when AT & T

shut down for they were having problems last night maybe when it was

fixed this morning it diverted the letter to you. I'm positive I hit

reply yet there is no letter in my " sent " mailbox. Its a mystery... I

feel bad that a private letter was made public like that!

smile- JJ

PS Now that the cat is out of the bag, how many of us have tatoos!?!?