Re: Re: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder

[Guest guest]

I have those fears too. There is so much I can't control. I think it's great you went for a walk! There are times I am so paralyzed with worries like you share I won't even allow myself a stroll. It's like I have to solve things before I can live, so in my book, you are a hero today. Hang in there, get good rest. Keep sharing, keep walking, doing whatever else is decent "reverse compass" behavior for you..however seemingly small..you never know where the next step will take you, open you up, surprise you maybe even.terry To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 3:01 PM Subject: Re: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder

I did go for a walk. That's good, I guess. I just feel like something has shifted in my brain. There is so much fear. Most of all the fear of being alone. I feel like I can't know anything about the world. That I don't kno who I am, and don't know how to decide. I'm going to bed now. Thank you for your answers. I appreciate them. Thank you.

Haakon

>

> Did you take the walk? Hope so! :-)

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 8:34 AM

> Subject: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder

>

>

> Â

>

> I'm so afraid. I have this feeling that I am doomed. Yesteday I got some relief from reading "the mindful way through depression" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. There was an exercise where I had to "find feelings" in the body.

>

> Today I have surfed the web reading about social isolation and avoidant personality disorder. It's stupid, but I did it. Now I just need to talk to someone, but no one wants to talk to me, because it doesn't help.

>

> I just feel like I want to meet someone and do something, but I can't imagine what it should be. If I were to meet someone now, I don't think it would be very good for me. I met one friend yesterday, and when I told him I felt depressed again, it just felt like....I don't know. It felt like I was out of reach, cause I have been through these stretches of depression and isolation before, and I haven't found anything that makes it better. So we can't talk about it, and I feel I can't focus on anything else.

>

> I don't know what I'm trying to find out about avoidant personality disorder. It just seems fitting, and I can't see myself getting old like this. I want friends!!! I want life!!!! Now I just feel empty. I try to breathe in and relax and see what my thoughts are, I can even get relaxed some times, but I don't know what to do afterwards. There are insane amounts of shame and doubt inside of me.

>

> I don't know why I don't do ACT. The pull is so strong to avoid social contact. This is another desperate post.

>

> I get so stressed out. I don't know what's going on. Time bothers me real bad. It has been maybe ten years now, with these episodes. It is so scary. That I can't get going. I'll stop here. Go for a walk.

>

> Haakon

>

[Guest guest]

I want to just slow down and back up and notice something here because maybe it will help someone else.Truth is I have no idea why I don't at times allow myself a stroll or other acts of self-care!"Paralyzed with worries" is a prison sentence my mind relies on way too often. Wow, tricky stuff..that false causation just came out like THE fact, THE Truth. From: Theresa Linder

To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 7:31 PM Subject: Re: Re: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder

I have those fears too. There is so much I can't control. I think it's great you went for a walk! There are times I am so paralyzed with worries like you share I won't even allow myself a stroll. It's like I have to solve things before I can live, so in my book, you are a hero today. Hang in there, get good rest. Keep sharing, keep walking, doing whatever else is decent "reverse compass" behavior for you..however seemingly small..you never know where the next step will take you, open you up, surprise you maybe even.terry To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 3:01 PM Subject: Re: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder

I did go for a walk. That's good, I guess. I just feel like something has shifted in my brain. There is so much fear. Most of all the fear of being alone. I feel like I can't know anything about the world. That I don't kno who I am, and don't know how to decide. I'm going to bed now. Thank you for your answers. I appreciate them. Thank you.

Haakon

>

> Did you take the walk? Hope so! :-)

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 8:34 AM

> Subject: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder

>

>

> Â

>

> I'm so afraid. I have this feeling that I am doomed. Yesteday I got some relief from reading "the mindful way through depression" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. There was an exercise where I had to "find feelings" in the body.

>

> Today I have surfed the web reading about social isolation and avoidant personality disorder. It's stupid, but I did it. Now I just need to talk to someone, but no one wants to talk to me, because it doesn't help.

>

> I just feel like I want to meet someone and do something, but I can't imagine what it should be. If I were to meet someone now, I don't think it would be very good for me. I met one friend yesterday, and when I told him I felt depressed again, it just felt like....I don't know. It felt like I was out of reach, cause I have been through these stretches of depression and isolation before, and I haven't found anything that makes it better. So we can't talk about it, and I feel I can't focus on anything else.

>

> I don't know what I'm trying to find out about avoidant personality disorder. It just seems fitting, and I can't see myself getting old like this. I want friends!!! I want life!!!! Now I just feel empty. I try to breathe in and relax and see what my thoughts are, I can even get relaxed some times, but I don't know what to do afterwards. There are insane amounts of shame and doubt inside of me.

>

> I don't know why I don't do ACT. The pull is so strong to avoid social contact. This is another desperate post.

>

> I get so stressed out. I don't know what's going on. Time bothers me real bad. It has been maybe ten years now, with these episodes. It is so scary. That I can't get going. I'll stop here. Go for a walk.

>

> Haakon

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Theresa

 

The prison where the door is not locked but you don't think to open the door?

 

xx

 

I want to just slow down and back up and notice something here because maybe it will help someone else.

Truth is I have no idea why I don't at times allow myself a stroll or other acts of self-care!

" Paralyzed with worries " is a prison sentence my mind relies on way too often.

Wow, tricky stuff..that false causation just came out like THE fact, THE Truth.

To: " ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >

Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 7:31 PMSubject: Re: Re: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder

 

I have those fears too. There is so much I can't control.  I think it's great you went for a walk! There are times I am so paralyzed with worries like you share I won't even allow myself a stroll. It's like I have to solve things before I can live, so in my book, you are a hero today.  Hang in there, get good rest. Keep sharing, keep walking, doing whatever else is decent " reverse compass " behavior for you..however seemingly small..you never know where the next step will take you, open you up, surprise you maybe even.

terry

To: ACT_for_the_Public

Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 3:01 PMSubject: Re: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder

 

I did go for a walk. That's good, I guess. I just feel like something has shifted in my brain. There is so much fear. Most of all the fear of being alone. I feel like I can't know anything about the world. That I don't kno who I am, and don't know how to decide. I'm going to bed now. Thank you for your answers. I appreciate them. Thank you.

Haakon>> Did you take the walk? Hope so! :-)

> > > ________________________________> > To: ACT_for_the_Public

> Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 8:34 AM> Subject: Freaking out over avoidant personality disorder> > >   > > I'm so afraid. I have this feeling that I am doomed. Yesteday I got some relief from reading " the mindful way through depression " by Jon Kabat-Zinn. There was an exercise where I had to " find feelings " in the body.

> > Today I have surfed the web reading about social isolation and avoidant personality disorder. It's stupid, but I did it. Now I just need to talk to someone, but no one wants to talk to me, because it doesn't help.

> > I just feel like I want to meet someone and do something, but I can't imagine what it should be. If I were to meet someone now, I don't think it would be very good for me. I met one friend yesterday, and when I told him I felt depressed again, it just felt like....I don't know. It felt like I was out of reach, cause I have been through these stretches of depression and isolation before, and I haven't found anything that makes it better. So we can't talk about it, and I feel I can't focus on anything else.

> > I don't know what I'm trying to find out about avoidant personality disorder. It just seems fitting, and I can't see myself getting old like this. I want friends!!! I want life!!!! Now I just feel empty. I try to breathe in and relax and see what my thoughts are, I can even get relaxed some times, but I don't know what to do afterwards. There are insane amounts of shame and doubt inside of me.

> > I don't know why I don't do ACT. The pull is so strong to avoid social contact. This is another desperate post. > > I get so stressed out. I don't know what's going on. Time bothers me real bad. It has been maybe ten years now, with these episodes. It is so scary. That I can't get going. I'll stop here. Go for a walk.

> > Haakon>

[Guest guest]

Hi :I certainly remember you and am glad you're back. I'm sorry you're having such anxiety now. But I'm glad you felt better for awhile. I know what you mean when you say you are disappointed you don't have ACT figured out. It's frustrating to have tools to use but not to be able to employ them. I'm in the same boat with you.Bruce Well folks, I'm back again. Some of you may remember me others that have joined since I have been on with the group, nice to meet you. I am having a severe anxiety episode. , your response so resonated with me!!! The thing that sets me back, disappoints me so is when the fear of not measuring up shows up for me and brings the unwanted feelings along for the ride. It is about time for me to go back to teaching and I had the thought "what if I have a child that doesn't do what I say and that causes me to feel inadequate." Then I add "those thoughts and feelings are too much for me, they cause me not to function like a productive human feeling." I start thinking all sorts of "unACTlike" thoughts and think oh I thought I had ACT figured out. I have functioned with little or no anxiety for quite awhile, now it is back to ruin me and my mental health. I feel like a failure at being able to accept the thoughts. It just seems lie the thoughts and feelings are keeping me from doing all I am supposed to do!! So nice to know this group is here. Even when I am not active in the group, I think about y'all and what some of you have said in the past that has been so helpful!!! > > > > > I'm so afraid. I have this feeling that I am doomed. Yesteday I got some relief from reading "the mindful way through depression" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. There was an exercise where I had to "find feelings" in the body. > > > > Today I have surfed the web reading about social isolation and avoidant personality disorder. It's stupid, but I did it. Now I just need to talk to someone, but no one wants to talk to me, because it doesn't help. > > > > I just feel like I want to meet someone and do something, but I can't imagine what it should be. If I were to meet someone now, I don't think it would be very good for me. I met one friend yesterday, and when I told him I felt depressed again, it just felt like....I don't know. It felt like I was out of reach, cause I have been through these stretches of depression and isolation before, and I haven't found anything that makes it better. So we can't talk about it, and I feel I can't focus on anything else. > > > > I don't know what I'm trying to find out about avoidant personality disorder. It just seems fitting, and I can't see myself getting old like this. I want friends!!! I want life!!!! Now I just feel empty. I try to breathe in and relax and see what my thoughts are, I can even get relaxed some times, but I don't know what to do afterwards. There are insane amounts of shame and doubt inside of me. > > > > I don't know why I don't do ACT. The pull is so strong to avoid social contact. This is another desperate post. > > > > I get so stressed out. I don't know what's going on. Time bothers me real bad. It has been maybe ten years now, with these episodes. It is so scary. That I can't get going. I'll stop here. Go for a walk. > > > > Haakon > > > > >