Guest guest Posted July 21, 2012 Report Share Posted July 21, 2012 Malkie my cat is dying. He had a urinary blockage a couple weeks ago that cost $900 over a week's treatment at the vet. I don't have that kind of money. My ex helped me pay the bill, but said it was a one-time-only favor.Malkie is blocked again. I am helpless. I have some pain medication left over from the last time that I will give him. Then, when it gets too painful, I will take him in to have him euthanized.I took this darling cat in last December because his former owner couldn't or wouldn't take him with her when she moved. He has been a totally delightful member of my family. He is gentle and sweet and sensitive. It took him quite some time to get relaxed with me. But he totally trusts me now. And I am going to let him die because I have no other choice.How do I accept that? How can I not feel guilty? How to deal with the pain of not being enough for Malkie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2012 Report Share Posted July 22, 2012 Thank you so much for your comforting words, Ingrid. It means a lot to me at this painful time.HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 22, 2012 7:45:24 AMSubject: Re: Malkie My heart aches for what you are going through, and for how much you will miss this brave little being. Thank you for your compassion and openness to suffering. Grateful on behalf of all animals (including the two-legged ones) Ingrid You gave him a loving home, you gave him every chance of getting him through his medical problems, and, presuming he is at the very end, you are giving him a comfortable and humane passing. In the animal kingdom, this as good as it gets in the circumstances. Maybe after the pain will come a little pride in how you care for your furry friends. x To: ACT <act_for_the_public > Sent: Saturday, 21 July 2012, 23:40 Subject: Malkie Malkie my cat is dying. He had a urinary blockage a couple weeks ago that cost $900 over a week's treatment at the vet. I don't have that kind of money. My ex helped me pay the bill, but said it was a one-time-only favor. Malkie is blocked again. I am helpless. I have some pain medication left over from the last time that I will give him. Then, when it gets too painful, I will take him in to have him euthanized.I took this darling cat in last December because his former owner couldn't or wouldn't take him with her when she moved. He has been a totally delightful member of my family. He is gentle and sweet and sensitive. It took him quite some time to get relaxed with me. But he totally trusts me now. And I am going to let him die because I have no other choice.How do I accept that? How can I not feel guilty? How to deal with the pain of not being enough for Malkie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2012 Report Share Posted July 22, 2012 Gee, I just caught this. That's really horrible. I'm sorry to hear that. If Malkie could speak to you, my guess he'd say thanks for taking suchgood care of me this long and creating a safe place where I could be trust you. Hang in there Helena.terry To: ACT <act_for_the_public > Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:40 PM Subject: Malkie Malkie my cat is dying. He had a urinary blockage a couple weeks ago that cost $900 over a week's treatment at the vet. I don't have that kind of money. My ex helped me pay the bill, but said it was a one-time-only favor.Malkie is blocked again. I am helpless. I have some pain medication left over from the last time that I will give him. Then, when it gets too painful, I will take him in to have him euthanized.I took this darling cat in last December because his former owner couldn't or wouldn't take him with her when she moved. He has been a totally delightful member of my family. He is gentle and sweet and sensitive. It took him quite some time to get relaxed with me. But he totally trusts me now. And I am going to let him die because I have no other choice.How do I accept that? How can I not feel guilty? How to deal with the pain of not being enough for Malkie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2012 Report Share Posted July 22, 2012 Thank you so much, Terry. Yes, his trust in me is very special; makes it hard to look into his innocent eyes and know I can't help him with this.HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 22, 2012 12:20:37 PMSubject: Re: Malkie Gee, I just caught this. That's really horrible. I'm sorry to hear that. If Malkie could speak to you, my guess he'd say thanks for taking suchgood care of me this long and creating a safe place where I could be trust you. Hang in there Helena.terry To: ACT <act_for_the_public > Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:40 PM Subject: Malkie Malkie my cat is dying. He had a urinary blockage a couple weeks ago that cost $900 over a week's treatment at the vet. I don't have that kind of money. My ex helped me pay the bill, but said it was a one-time-only favor.Malkie is blocked again. I am helpless. I have some pain medication left over from the last time that I will give him. Then, when it gets too painful, I will take him in to have him euthanized.I took this darling cat in last December because his former owner couldn't or wouldn't take him with her when she moved. He has been a totally delightful member of my family. He is gentle and sweet and sensitive. It took him quite some time to get relaxed with me. But he totally trusts me now. And I am going to let him die because I have no other choice.How do I accept that? How can I not feel guilty? How to deal with the pain of not being enough for Malkie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2012 Report Share Posted July 22, 2012 Yes, that's very hard. I've been there. Since we've been talking so much about self-compassion, this may be a good time to practice the same with yourself. terry > > Thank you so much, Terry. Yes, his trust in me is very special; makes it hard to look into his innocent eyes and know I can't help him with this. > > > Helena > > Malkie > > > > > > > > > > Malkie my cat is dying. He had a urinary blockage a couple weeks ago that cost $900 over a week's treatment at the vet. I don't have that kind of money. My ex helped me pay the bill, but said it was a one-time-only favor. > > > > Malkie is blocked again. I am helpless. I have some pain medication left over from the last time that I will give him. Then, when it gets too painful, I will take him in to have him euthanized. > > > I took this darling cat in last December because his former owner couldn't or wouldn't take him with her when she moved. He has been a totally delightful member of my family. He is gentle and sweet and sensitive. It took him quite some time to get relaxed with me. But he totally trusts me now. > > > And I am going to let him die because I have no other choice. > > > How do I accept that? How can I not feel guilty? How to deal with the pain of not being enough for Malkie? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Best wishes from me, too, Helena. I'm sure you are doing the the very best you can and that's the best that can be.Bruce Thank you so much, Terry. Yes, his trust in me is very special; makes it hard to look into his innocent eyes and know I can't help him with this.HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 22, 2012 12:20:37 PMSubject: Re: Malkie Gee, I just caught this. That's really horrible. I'm sorry to hear that. If Malkie could speak to you, my guess he'd say thanks for taking suchgood care of me this long and creating a safe place where I could be trust you. Hang in there Helena.terry To: ACT <act_for_the_public > Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:40 PM Subject: Malkie Malkie my cat is dying. He had a urinary blockage a couple weeks ago that cost $900 over a week's treatment at the vet. I don't have that kind of money. My ex helped me pay the bill, but said it was a one-time-only favor.Malkie is blocked again. I am helpless. I have some pain medication left over from the last time that I will give him. Then, when it gets too painful, I will take him in to have him euthanized.I took this darling cat in last December because his former owner couldn't or wouldn't take him with her when she moved. He has been a totally delightful member of my family. He is gentle and sweet and sensitive. It took him quite some time to get relaxed with me. But he totally trusts me now. And I am going to let him die because I have no other choice.How do I accept that? How can I not feel guilty? How to deal with the pain of not being enough for Malkie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Dear Helena --I'm so sorry about what you and Malkie are going through. I don't know if it makes it any better - but you have done the best you possibly could for him. And like you said, even if you could somehow afford to pay for it each time he went through this - that could be a very hard existence for him.  And more than that - you have obviously loved and cared for him. What else can we do in life? Again - so sorry. Best,Barbara  Best wishes from me, too, Helena. I'm sure you are doing the the very best you can and that's the best that can be.Bruce  Thank you so much, Terry.  Yes, his trust in me is very special; makes it hard to look into his innocent eyes and know I can't help him with this. Helena To: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 22, 2012 12:20:37 PM Subject: Re: Malkie  Gee, I just caught this. That's really horrible. I'm sorry to hear that. If Malkie could speak to you, my guess he'd say thanks for taking suchgood care of me this long and creating a safe place where I could be trust you. Hang in there Helena.terry To: ACT <act_for_the_public > Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:40 PM Subject: Malkie  Malkie my cat is dying.  He had a urinary blockage a couple weeks ago that cost $900 over a week's treatment at the vet.  I don't have that kind of money.  My ex helped me pay the bill, but said it was a one-time-only favor. Malkie is blocked again.  I am helpless.  I have some pain medication left over from the last time that I will give him.  Then, when it gets too painful, I will take him in to have him euthanized. I took this darling cat in last December because his former owner couldn't or wouldn't take him with her when she moved.  He has been a totally delightful member of my family.  He is gentle and sweet and sensitive. It took him quite some time to get relaxed with me.  But he totally trusts me now.  And I am going to let him die because I have no other choice.How do I accept that?  How can I not feel guilty? How to deal with the pain of not being enough for Malkie? -- Barbara White, MFTMarriage and Family Therapistbarbarawhitetherapy.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Thank you, Bruce, and thank you Barbara. Your kind remarks mean the world to me!HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, July 23, 2012 5:14:19 PMSubject: Re: Malkie Dear Helena --I'm so sorry about what you and Malkie are going through. I don't know if it makes it any better - but you have done the best you possibly could for him. And like you said, even if you could somehow afford to pay for it each time he went through this - that could be a very hard existence for him. And more than that - you have obviously loved and cared for him. What else can we do in life? Again - so sorry. Best,Barbara Best wishes from me, too, Helena. I'm sure you are doing the the very best you can and that's the best that can be.Bruce Thank you so much, Terry. Yes, his trust in me is very special; makes it hard to look into his innocent eyes and know I can't help him with this. Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, July 22, 2012 12:20:37 PM Subject: Re: Malkie Gee, I just caught this. That's really horrible. I'm sorry to hear that. If Malkie could speak to you, my guess he'd say thanks for taking suchgood care of me this long and creating a safe place where I could be trust you. Hang in there Helena.terry To: ACT <act_for_the_public > Sent: Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:40 PM Subject: Malkie Malkie my cat is dying. He had a urinary blockage a couple weeks ago that cost $900 over a week's treatment at the vet. I don't have that kind of money. My ex helped me pay the bill, but said it was a one-time-only favor. Malkie is blocked again. I am helpless. I have some pain medication left over from the last time that I will give him. Then, when it gets too painful, I will take him in to have him euthanized. I took this darling cat in last December because his former owner couldn't or wouldn't take him with her when she moved. He has been a totally delightful member of my family. He is gentle and sweet and sensitive. It took him quite some time to get relaxed with me. But he totally trusts me now. And I am going to let him die because I have no other choice.How do I accept that? How can I not feel guilty? How to deal with the pain of not being enough for Malkie? -- Barbara White, MFTMarriage and Family Therapistbarbarawhitetherapy.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 oh Helena, for me, this is one of the most painful painful situations to be in. my critters, fur babies, are my life. I have read that our final, loving, caring most brave gift to them, is when we let them go when it's time. not that that really helps, just writing that makes me cry. Wanda > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Wanda, it helps so much to know you understand. My fur babies are the center of my life, too. Thanks so much, Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 9:45:47 AMSubject: Re: Malkie oh Helena, for me, this is one of the most painful painful situations to be in. my critters, fur babies, are my life. I have read that our final, loving, caring most brave gift to them, is when we let them go when it's time. not that that really helps, just writing that makes me cry. Wanda>> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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