Re: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!

[Guest guest]

Hi KV. Maybe it could be a useful strategy? I know people who have an incredible ability to "park" their worries until a more convenient time. So we know that we can't just magically make worries disappear. But some people can say to their worries: "OK, I see you, I'm not ignoring you, and I promise I will 'process' you, but just not now". Have you ever been in therapy, and come across a terrible worry and thought "I'll tell my therapist about that next week". And for the time being, the worry's grip on you subsides, because you've consciously agreed to deal with it. But you are also doing so on your terms. Also, time will

hopefully allow the initial stress impact of the worry to dissipate, so you can deal with the worry more logically, and see it for what it really is. In my opinion, very few thoughts are so obviously 100% unhelpful that we don't have to process them at all. Most have bits that are helpful and bits that are unhelpful. How we 'process' thoughts in ACT does not feel, to me, to be well expressed: it's all 'defuse' or 'not'. So, maybe it could be a workable solution? Not ideal, but a halfway house on the road to working with worrying thoughts, and being able to separate the wheat from the chaff. Maybe... x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 18:52 Subject: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!

At my accessment for CBT the psychologist said we have many methods to

help people overcome GAD and one is having a worry slot. This is where

you worry for 1/2 hour a day and then you don't worry for the rest of

the day. As she told me this I became overwhelmed and worried at the

thought of all that enormous struggle. I would sooner just accept things

as they are and get on my other concerns. I'm sure having a worry slot

and then not worrying for the rest of the day is not the ACT way of

doing things and it probably doesn't work all that well either.

Kv

[Guest guest]

If I could control my mind enough to relegate my worries to a set period a day, that would be a happy day. I don't see how this works for anybody. I understand the idea but my mind doesn't let go even when a worry is resolved. The residual worry is there for me all day long, even when there's nothing at all to worry about. It's an interesting concept, though. The time of day when I'm capable of usefully worrying is the only time of day I have any peace, and I hate to give that up.Bruce Hi KV. Maybe it could be a useful strategy? I know people who have an incredible ability to "park" their worries until a more convenient time. So we know that we can't just magically make worries disappear. But some people can say to their worries: "OK, I see you, I'm not ignoring you, and I promise I will 'process' you, but just not now". Have you ever been in therapy, and come across a terrible worry and thought "I'll tell my therapist about that next week". And for the time being, the worry's grip on you subsides, because you've consciously agreed to deal with it. But you are also doing so on your terms. Also, time will hopefully allow the initial stress impact of the worry to dissipate, so you can deal with the worry more logically, and see it for what it really is. In my opinion, very few thoughts are so obviously 100% unhelpful that we don't have to process them at all. Most have bits that are helpful and bits that are unhelpful. How we 'process' thoughts in ACT does not feel, to me, to be well expressed: it's all 'defuse' or 'not'. So, maybe it could be a workable solution? Not ideal, but a halfway house on the road to working with worrying thoughts, and being able to separate the wheat from the chaff. Maybe... x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 18:52 Subject: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it! At my accessment for CBT the psychologist said we have many methods to help people overcome GAD and one is having a worry slot. This is where you worry for 1/2 hour a day and then you don't worry for the rest of the day. As she told me this I became overwhelmed and worried at the thought of all that enormous struggle. I would sooner just accept things as they are and get on my other concerns. I'm sure having a worry slot and then not worrying for the rest of the day is not the ACT way of doing things and it probably doesn't work all that well either. Kv

[Guest guest]

Works for me.  Actually works very well.  It works the same as when a family member, coworker, supervisor, employee, friend, lover or whoever you have a relationship with you has a concern or worry and wants to talk to you.  When you schedule a time to meet, that person will feel some relief and relax some and can then turn attention to something else.

I simple make a appointment with the part of my brain bringing up the concerns and worries and it settles down and turns it's attention elsewhere.  Maybe finding other worries.    Of course in any case you have to keep the appointment.  And often it's best to schedule time when you can actually act on the problem, concern or worry.

 

If I could control my mind enough to relegate my worries to a set period a day, that would be a happy day. I don't see how this works for anybody. I understand the idea but my mind doesn't let go even when a worry is resolved. The residual worry is there for me all day long, even when there's nothing at all to worry about. It's an interesting concept, though. The time of day when I'm capable of usefully worrying is the only time of day I have any peace, and I hate to give that up.

Bruce  

Hi KV. Maybe it could be a useful strategy?  I know people who have an incredible ability to " park " their worries until a more convenient time.  So we know that we can't just magically make worries disappear.  But some people can say to their worries: " OK, I see you, I'm not ignoring you, and I promise I will 'process' you, but just not now " .  Have you ever been in therapy, and come across a terrible worry and thought " I'll tell my therapist about that next week " . 

 And for the time being, the worry's grip on you subsides, because you've consciously agreed to deal with it.  But you are also doing so on your terms.  Also, time will hopefully allow the initial stress impact of the worry to dissipate, so you can deal with the worry more logically, and see it for what it really is. 

 In my opinion, very few thoughts are so obviously 100% unhelpful that we don't have to process them at all.  Most have bits that are helpful and bits that are unhelpful.  How we 'process' thoughts in ACT does not feel, to me, to be well expressed: it's all 'defuse' or 'not'.

 So, maybe it could be a workable solution? Not ideal, but a halfway house on the road to working with worrying thoughts, and being able to separate the wheat from the chaff.

 Maybe...  x

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 18:52

Subject: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!   At my accessment for CBT the psychologist said we have many methods to

help people overcome GAD and one is having a worry slot. This is where you worry for 1/2 hour a day and then you don't worry for the rest of the day. As she told me this I became overwhelmed and worried at the

thought of all that enormous struggle. I would sooner just accept things as they are and get on my other concerns. I'm sure having a worry slot and then not worrying for the rest of the day is not the ACT way of

doing things and it probably doesn't work all that well either. Kv

[Guest guest]

Of course, the idea that the worries will disappear in the meantime is a complete myth. But when do you process them? When do you actually peer into the content of the worry and decide if it needs action. You can choose to do it when you are trying to concentrate on work, or when you are playing with your kid. Or can you say, no, I'm going to defuse for now and look more closely tonight. All predicated, of course, in the notion that not all thoughts are obviously unhelpful or helpful. x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 20:36 Subject: Re: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!

If I could control my mind enough to relegate my worries to a set period a day, that would be a happy day. I don't see how this works for anybody. I understand the idea but my mind doesn't let go even when a worry is resolved. The residual worry is there for me all day long, even when there's nothing at all to worry about. It's an interesting concept, though. The time of day when I'm capable of usefully worrying is the only time of day I have any peace, and I hate to give that up.Bruce Hi KV. Maybe it could be a useful strategy? I know people who have an incredible ability to "park" their worries until a more convenient time. So we know that we can't just magically make worries disappear. But some people can say to their worries: "OK, I see you, I'm not ignoring you, and I promise I will 'process' you, but just not now". Have you ever been in therapy, and come across a terrible worry and thought "I'll tell my therapist about that next week". And for the time being, the worry's grip on you subsides, because you've consciously agreed to deal with it. But you are also doing so on your terms. Also, time will hopefully allow the initial stress impact of the worry to dissipate, so you

can deal with the worry more logically, and see it for what it really is. In my opinion, very few thoughts are so obviously 100% unhelpful that we don't have to process them at all. Most have bits that are helpful and bits that are unhelpful. How we 'process' thoughts in ACT does not feel, to me, to be well expressed: it's all 'defuse' or 'not'. So, maybe it could be a workable solution? Not ideal, but a halfway house on the road to working with worrying thoughts, and being able to separate the wheat from the chaff. Maybe... x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 18:52 Subject: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it! At my accessment for CBT the psychologist said we have many

methods to help people overcome GAD and one is having a worry slot. This is where you worry for 1/2 hour a day and then you don't worry for the rest of the day. As she told me this I became overwhelmed and worried at the thought of all that enormous struggle. I would sooner just accept things as they are and get on my other concerns. I'm sure having a worry slot and then not worrying for the rest of the day is not the ACT way of doing things and it probably doesn't work all that well either. Kv

[Guest guest]

I will keep an open mind on it, then. I had a small go earlier and I did

seem to stop worrying for a bit, or was I just thinking that I was not

worrying but still was.

Kv

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> >

> >

> >Hi KV.

> >Â

> >Maybe it could be a useful strategy? I know people who have an

incredible ability to " park " their worries until a more convenient

time. So we know that we can't just magically make worries

disappear. But some people can say to their worries: " OK, I see

you, I'm not ignoring you, and I promise I will 'process' you, but just

not now " .  Have you ever been in therapy, and come across a

terrible worry and thought " I'll tell my therapist about that next

week " .Â

> >Â

> >And for the time being, the worry's grip on you subsides, because

you've consciously agreed to deal with it. But you are also doing

so on your terms. Also, time will hopefully allow the initial

stress impact of the worry to dissipate, so you can deal with the worry

more logically, and see it for what it really is.Â

> >Â

> >In my opinion, very few thoughts are so obviously 100% unhelpful

that we don't have to process them at all. Most have bits that

are helpful and bits that are unhelpful. How we 'process' thoughts

in ACTÂ does not feel, to me, to be well expressed: it's all 'defuse'

or 'not'.

> >Â

> >So, maybe it could be a workable solution? Not ideal, but a

halfway house on the road to working with worrying thoughts, and being

able to separate the wheat from the chaff.

> >Â

> >Maybe...

> >Â

> > x

> >

> >

> >

> >________________________________

> > From: Kaivey akaivey@...

> >To: ACT_for_the_Public

> >Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 18:52

> >Subject: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!

> >

> >

> >Â

> >

> >At my accessment for CBT the psychologist said we have many methods

to

> >help people overcome GAD and one is having a worry slot. This is

where

> >you worry for 1/2 hour a day and then you don't worry for the rest of

> >the day. As she told me this I became overwhelmed and worried at the

> >thought of all that enormous struggle. I would sooner just accept

things

> >as they are and get on my other concerns. I'm sure having a worry

slot

> >and then not worrying for the rest of the day is not the ACT way of

> >doing things and it probably doesn't work all that well either.

> >

> >Kv

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

"...or was I just thinking that I was not worrying but still was."Don't you just love the mind :0) x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 20:56 Subject: Re: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!

I will keep an open mind on it, then. I had a small go earlier and I did

seem to stop worrying for a bit, or was I just thinking that I was not

worrying but still was.

Kv

>

> Â

> >

> >

> >Hi KV.

> >Â

> >Maybe it could be a useful strategy? I know people who have an

incredible ability to "park" their worries until a more convenient

time. So we know that we can't just magically make worries

disappear. But some people can say to their worries: "OK, I see

you, I'm not ignoring you, and I promise I will 'process' you, but just

not now".  Have you ever been in therapy, and come across a

terrible worry and thought "I'll tell my therapist about that next

week".Â

> >Â

> >And for the time being, the worry's grip on you subsides, because

you've consciously agreed to deal with it. But you are also doing

so on your terms. Also, time will hopefully allow the initial

stress impact of the worry to dissipate, so you can deal with the worry

more logically, and see it for what it really is.Â

> >Â

> >In my opinion, very few thoughts are so obviously 100% unhelpful

that we don't have to process them at all. Most have bits that

are helpful and bits that are unhelpful. How we 'process' thoughts

in ACTÂ does not feel, to me, to be well expressed: it's all 'defuse'

or 'not'.

> >Â

> >So, maybe it could be a workable solution? Not ideal, but a

halfway house on the road to working with worrying thoughts, and being

able to separate the wheat from the chaff.

> >Â

> >Maybe...

> >Â

> > x

> >

> >

> >

> >________________________________

> > From: Kaivey akaivey@...

> >To: mailto:ACT_for_the_Public%40yahoogroups.com

> >Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 18:52

> >Subject: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!

> >

> >

> >Â

> >

> >At my accessment for CBT the psychologist said we have many methods

to

> >help people overcome GAD and one is having a worry slot. This is

where

> >you worry for 1/2 hour a day and then you don't worry for the rest of

> >the day. As she told me this I became overwhelmed and worried at the

> >thought of all that enormous struggle. I would sooner just accept

things

> >as they are and get on my other concerns. I'm sure having a worry

slot

> >and then not worrying for the rest of the day is not the ACT way of

> >doing things and it probably doesn't work all that well either.

> >

> >Kv

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

When I make an appointment with my worrying part of my mind I don't worry about if I keep worrying or not.  I don't try to not worry or not think of my worries.  I only make an appointment when I think I can deal with it.  That's the key - I'm not trying to get rid of any worry.  I only make appointment in the next few days to fully engage with the worry.  When I do make the appointment, sometimes the worry stays around and sometimes it fades.  Sometime it completely disappears for hours - I completely forget about it.

I actually write the appointment down in datebook and sometimes enter it into my Google calender.  I don't write " appointment with my worried mind " but " pay bills " or " think about _____ " or " start this paperwork " etc.  In a way it's a way to be gentle and compassionate with myself.

I think it's good.  The habits that don't work well for me is ways I keep putting some things off for long time.  I've gotten really bad at procrastination the last few years.  I'm always so busy and so it's so easy to push things to the side and then never get to it.  Often these are things I'm not too worried about but it would be better for me to get done.

 

Of course, the idea that the worries will disappear in the meantime is a complete myth.   

But when do you process them?  When do you actually peer into the content of the worry and decide if it needs action.  You can choose to do it when you are trying to concentrate on work, or when you are playing with your kid.  Or can you say, no, I'm going to defuse for now and look more closely tonight.

 All predicated, of course, in the notion that not all thoughts are obviously unhelpful or helpful.  x

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 20:36

Subject: Re: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!

 

If I could control my mind enough to relegate my worries to a set period a day, that would be a happy day. I don't see how this works for anybody. I understand the idea but my mind doesn't let go even when a worry is resolved. The residual worry is there for me all day long, even when there's nothing at all to worry about. It's an interesting concept, though. The time of day when I'm capable of usefully worrying is the only time of day I have any peace, and I hate to give that up.

Bruce  

Hi KV. Maybe it could be a useful strategy?  I know people who have an incredible ability to " park " their worries until a more convenient time.  So we know that we can't just magically make worries disappear.  But some people can say to their worries: " OK, I see you, I'm not ignoring you, and I promise I will 'process' you, but just not now " .  Have you ever been in therapy, and come across a terrible worry and thought " I'll tell my therapist about that next week " . 

 And for the time being, the worry's grip on you subsides, because you've consciously agreed to deal with it.  But you are also doing so on your terms.  Also, time will hopefully allow the initial stress impact of the worry to dissipate, so you

can deal with the worry more logically, and see it for what it really is.  In my opinion, very few thoughts are so obviously 100% unhelpful that we don't have to process them at all.  Most have bits that are helpful and bits that are unhelpful.  How we 'process' thoughts in ACT does not feel, to me, to be well expressed: it's all 'defuse' or 'not'.

 So, maybe it could be a workable solution? Not ideal, but a halfway house on the road to working with worrying thoughts, and being able to separate the wheat from the chaff.

 Maybe...  x

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 19 July 2012, 18:52

Subject: My worry slot. I'm worrying about it!   At my accessment for CBT the psychologist said we have many

methods to help people overcome GAD and one is having a worry slot. This is where you worry for 1/2 hour a day and then you don't worry for the rest of the day. As she told me this I became overwhelmed and worried at the

thought of all that enormous struggle. I would sooner just accept things as they are and get on my other concerns. I'm sure having a worry slot and then not worrying for the rest of the day is not the ACT way of

doing things and it probably doesn't work all that well either. Kv