Re: Re: overwhelmed once again

[Guest guest]

Hi :I'm glad you're feeling a little better today. I really don't like working from home that much but it is a nice perk not to have to drive in. But my anxiety is such that I feel it pretty much all the time now, with only brief respites. I do feel a lack of purpose, even though that's not the reality. But I seem to have lost the ability to relax and just be. Even when my mind isn't telling me stories, the anxiety in the body won't quit.Your message this morning is quite helpful. One thing that does help is connecting with people who also have anxiety that they don't understand. I have a pretty stress-free day today yet I'm suffering greatly from anxiety in my gut. I think it's the lack of purpose doing its thing. Every morning I wake up early with fear already grinding away. The other day I had a few seconds of peace before it started and I'm taking that as sign of progress. If it happened once, it can happen again. One of my big fears is that people will see how anxious I am. That doesn't happen but I worry about it anyway. Boy, is that counterproductive. But my rational mind can't seem to process it. The fact that nothing bad has happened over the years I've been this way seems like it should help me relax but it doesn't. I guess I'm wired to be anxious but I haven't always been like this. I don't expect to be anxiety-free but some periods of relaxation would sure be nice.I hope the fact that it's the weekend and you are not in school is helping you today. The fact that I have little to do is not helping me. But I will get through it. I always have. I have been meditating for two weeks now and am committed to giving it a fair trial. So far it hasn't helped. I think my psyche resists anything I do to help myself. I've been walking an hour a day for months and that hasn't helped much either, although when I'm walking our dog, I feel a little more optimistic. So I'm trying to take valued action in a positive direction. Even if it doesn't help the anxiety, it's good for my general health and for the dog.I thank you for your good wishes. I need all the support I can get. I hope you have a good weekend. Does your anxiety let up when you're not in school or do you worry about it when you're not there?Bruce Thank you Bruce for the empathy. That does always help. It just baffles me how some students don't cause me to feel threatened and others do. The urge to push it out is so strong even though I logically know that won't work. It feels so threatening to my well being!! One positive thing I can say is that it causes me to do the ACT work which ultimately helps me in all areas of my life! Thanks again for your heartfelt response, Do you think working from home causes you to miss being engaged with others or do you like that part of your job? Is it your job that is possibly causing your feeling of lack of purpose? Not trying to judge or assume just trying to help since your post was so helpful to me!! Thanks again!! > > > Well, I am back in school and the overwhelming fear of not being > > able to handle the children is back upon me. I can go through times > > when I feel perfectly capable to do my job and then the switch can > > just flip and I feel completely scared to death. There are certain > > types of students the send me over the edge. I'll try to describe. I > > have a little girl right now who brings out fear in me. She has > > "attitude". She will huff when asked to do work, act like she is so > > bored, in general I get the feeling that she is just barely > > tolerating me and what I am trying to teach her. I am a special ed > > teacher who works with limited numbers of students and when I am one > > on one or in a small group with students like this I get so taken > > down by this. I don't have a room full of students where I have a > > variety of students, some of which would enjoy what you are doing. I > > think maybe that would keep these disrespectful students from > > bothering me so much, I don't know may be not. I do have other > > students who aren't like that but a lot of my children pout up and > > shut down easily because they are students who have had a lot of > > trouble with academics. This is the beginning of my 28th year with > > this and I go through periods like this off and on, always have. > > Every time it happens though I think, I am so tired of feeling this > > way!! Makes me want to walk in and just quit although financially I > > can't yet. Then I feel so trapped!!! I get into not being able to > > sleep well etc. It just seems to change me completely from a calm, > > in control person to someone who is scared to death all the time. I > > know I am not seeing how to apply ACT techniques right now and that > > frustrates me even further!! Need help from you fellow travelers!! > > > > >

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean about people seeing how anxious you are. I used to feel that way but more and more I realize that lots and lots of people feel the same way!!! I found out the other special ed teacher I work with also feels these same fears when she works with a difficult student. Not beating myself up for feeling anxious took a layer off of my anxiety. But I do understand the way you feel. You are not alone!! Have any meds ever helped you? To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Saturday, September 1, 2012 2:12 PM Subject: Re: Re: overwhelmed once again

Hi :I'm glad you're feeling a little better today. I really don't like working from home that much but it is a nice perk not to have to drive in. But my anxiety is such that I feel it pretty much all the time now, with only brief respites. I do feel a lack of purpose, even though that's not the reality. But I seem to have lost the ability to relax and just be. Even when my mind isn't telling me stories, the anxiety in the body won't quit.Your message this morning is quite helpful. One thing that does help is connecting with people who also have anxiety that they don't understand. I have a pretty stress-free day today yet I'm suffering greatly from anxiety in my gut. I think it's the lack of purpose doing its thing. Every morning I wake up early with fear already grinding away. The other day I had a few seconds of peace before it started and I'm taking that as sign of progress. If it

happened once, it can happen again. One of my big fears is that people will see how anxious I am. That doesn't happen but I worry about it anyway. Boy, is that counterproductive. But my rational mind can't seem to process it. The fact that nothing bad has happened over the years I've been this way seems like it should help me relax but it doesn't. I guess I'm wired to be anxious but I haven't always been like this. I don't expect to be anxiety-free but some periods of relaxation would sure be nice.I hope the fact that it's the weekend and you are not in school is helping you today. The fact that I have little to do is not helping me. But I will get through it. I always have. I have been meditating for two weeks now and am committed to giving it a fair trial. So far it hasn't helped. I think my psyche resists anything I do to help myself. I've been walking an hour a day for months and that hasn't helped much either, although

when I'm walking our dog, I feel a little more optimistic. So I'm trying to take valued action in a positive direction. Even if it doesn't help the anxiety, it's good for my general health and for the dog.I thank you for your good wishes. I need all the support I can get. I hope you have a good weekend. Does your anxiety let up when you're not in school or do you worry about it when you're not there?Bruce Thank you Bruce for the empathy. That does always help. It just baffles me how some students don't cause me to feel threatened and others do. The urge to push it out is so strong even though I logically know that won't work.

It feels so threatening to my well being!! One positive thing I can say is that it causes me to do the ACT work which ultimately helps me in all areas of my life! Thanks again for your heartfelt response, Do you think working from home causes you to miss being engaged with others or do you like that part of your job? Is it your job that is possibly causing your feeling of lack of purpose? Not trying to judge or assume just trying to help since your post was so helpful to me!! Thanks again!! > > > Well, I am back in school and the overwhelming fear of not being > > able to handle the children is back upon me. I can go through times > > when I feel perfectly capable to do my job and then the switch can > > just flip and I feel completely scared to death. There are certain > > types of students the send me over the edge. I'll try to describe. I > > have a little girl right now who brings out fear in me. She has > > "attitude". She will huff when asked to do work, act like she is so > > bored, in

general I get the feeling that she is just barely > > tolerating me and what I am trying to teach her. I am a special ed > > teacher who works with limited numbers of students and when I am one > > on one or in a small group with students like this I get so taken > > down by this. I don't have a room full of students where I have a > > variety of students, some of which would enjoy what you are doing. I > > think maybe that would keep these disrespectful students from > > bothering me so much, I don't know may be not. I do have other > > students who aren't like that but a lot of my children pout up and > > shut down easily because they are students who have had a lot of > > trouble with academics. This is the beginning of my 28th year with > > this and I go through periods like this off and on, always have. > >

Every time it happens though I think, I am so tired of feeling this > > way!! Makes me want to walk in and just quit although financially I > > can't yet. Then I feel so trapped!!! I get into not being able to > > sleep well etc. It just seems to change me completely from a calm, > > in control person to someone who is scared to death all the time. I > > know I am not seeing how to apply ACT techniques right now and that > > frustrates me even further!! Need help from you fellow travelers!! > > > > >