Re: overwhelmed once again

[Guest guest]

I would suggest to allow yourself to feel that fear of losing control when you

are experiencing it

It's just another feeling...probably somewhere in your gut...a sharpness to it

Get to know it, it's all it is

Anxiety can deceive one into thinking it's endless.... " what if this, what if

that "

But it's not

Just a feeling based on thought thats perpetuating itself when allowed to run

wild

Best

>

> Well, I am back in school and the overwhelming fear of not being able to

handle the children is back upon me. I can go through times when I feel

perfectly capable to do my job and then the switch can just flip and I feel

completely scared to death. There are certain types of students the send me over

the edge. I'll try to describe. I have a little girl right now who brings out

fear in me. She has " attitude " . She will huff when asked to do work, act like

she is so bored, in general I get the feeling that she is just barely tolerating

me and what I am trying to teach her. I am a special ed teacher who works with

limited numbers of students and when I am one on one or in a small group with

students like this I get so taken down by this. I don't have a room full of

students where I have a variety of students, some of which would enjoy what you

are doing. I think maybe that would keep these disrespectful students from

bothering me so much, I don't know may be not. I do have other students who

aren't like that but a lot of my children pout up and shut down easily because

they are students who have had a lot of trouble with academics. This is the

beginning of my 28th year with this and I go through periods like this off and

on, always have. Every time it happens though I think, I am so tired of feeling

this way!! Makes me want to walk in and just quit although financially I can't

yet. Then I feel so trapped!!! I get into not being able to sleep well etc. It

just seems to change me completely from a calm, in control person to someone who

is scared to death all the time. I know I am not seeing how to apply ACT

techniques right now and that frustrates me even further!! Need help from you

fellow travelers!!

>

[Guest guest]

hi i am having one of those weeks too, my anxiety is heightened because work and

people is a pain, i had to drop a client this week because of differences of

professional opinion, i kinda feel bad because my mind was saying i am giving up

my financial committments to my family, saying no to $ and work, but in this

case it was work i did nt feel good about doing. Then another client, i am

worried all the work i did in past month, he is not gonna appreciate it and then

argue w me about my invoice, i think this one i should apply more CBT because

this is my mind creating negative self defeating thoughts again even beforehand.

anyways, it seems there is no way out. my feeling is that like or no like, this

is the world we live in, people w different opinions, different viewpoints, the

world simply does not operate the way you expect it to, same w people. in a way

that is what makes the world so beautiful, and at the same time, such a

challenge.

tc

>

> Well, I am back in school and the overwhelming fear of not being able to

handle the children is back upon me. I can go through times when I feel

perfectly capable to do my job and then the switch can just flip and I feel

completely scared to death. There are certain types of students the send me over

the edge. I'll try to describe. I have a little girl right now who brings out

fear in me. She has " attitude " . She will huff when asked to do work, act like

she is so bored, in general I get the feeling that she is just barely tolerating

me and what I am trying to teach her. I am a special ed teacher who works with

limited numbers of students and when I am one on one or in a small group with

students like this I get so taken down by this. I don't have a room full of

students where I have a variety of students, some of which would enjoy what you

are doing. I think maybe that would keep these disrespectful students from

bothering me so much, I don't know may be not. I do have other students who

aren't like that but a lot of my children pout up and shut down easily because

they are students who have had a lot of trouble with academics. This is the

beginning of my 28th year with this and I go through periods like this off and

on, always have. Every time it happens though I think, I am so tired of feeling

this way!! Makes me want to walk in and just quit although financially I can't

yet. Then I feel so trapped!!! I get into not being able to sleep well etc. It

just seems to change me completely from a calm, in control person to someone who

is scared to death all the time. I know I am not seeing how to apply ACT

techniques right now and that frustrates me even further!! Need help from you

fellow travelers!!

>

[Guest guest]

hi ,

I want to remind you of this clip that Russ shared with the forum a few

weeks back.

his original message is #20383

best wishes,

Wanda

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi :I can relate to how you feel. Are you still doing your job? That's something to be proud of. Even with the fear, you are doing your best to serve your students. That sounds like taking action to me. If you are not letting your fear destroy your ability to do your job and help your students the best you can at this point, you are doing something good.I understand your wish that the fear not be there. Maybe you feel like you could be/would be doing a better job if you weren't so consumed by your feelings. I know I feel that way. I think of all the great things I could be doing if I weren't so troubled by my emotions. But I soldier on, at least doing what I have to do to keep my job and keep my boss and colleagues happy so that I can support my family. When I feel like things couldn't be any worse, I try to remember the people who are truly disabled by their depression and anxiety and be grateful that I am not there. I have a lot of freedom in my job, which could be a good thing. A lot of people would be happy to trade places with me. I'm envious of people whose work keeps them busy and engaged. I was talking to a friend last night who told me he was super-happy in what he describes as his super-busy job and thought, I would sure like to be him. But I don't know anything about how he really feels. He has to fire people in his job and I know that would tear me up inside. So would I trade places with him? Probably not.28 years is a long time to feel this way. I can understand that you are tired of this. Maybe you feel like 28 years ago you chose the wrong profession. I have also suffered for years. But I have survived, too, getting good evaluations and raises. Today I am working from home, which again a lot of people would like to do. And I have been miserable. For no good reason except a lack of purpose. Like you, I have a job that involves helping others lead better lives. You'd think that would be helpful in getting out of myself and into improving the lives of others. Yet I think only of myself and my negative emotions. It's very frustrating. I try to take action and yet get no relief from engagement. I have no reason to be so unhappy, yet I am. I even have my dog snuggled up against me and that doesn't do much.If you have done this for 28 years, you can do it for one more day. Maybe there is something in your day today that will bring you some relief. That is my hope, and my hope for you.Best wishes to you today. I hope knowing you are not alone will help you. Since you can't afford to quit, you have to do what you have to do, no matter how you feel. I sometimes can feel some pride in doing that. I wish I felt some pride in the work that I actually produce. I used to and would like to get that feeling back. As it is, it's a long day to survive.I wish you a better day today,Bruce Well, I am back in school and the overwhelming fear of not being able to handle the children is back upon me. I can go through times when I feel perfectly capable to do my job and then the switch can just flip and I feel completely scared to death. There are certain types of students the send me over the edge. I'll try to describe. I have a little girl right now who brings out fear in me. She has "attitude". She will huff when asked to do work, act like she is so bored, in general I get the feeling that she is just barely tolerating me and what I am trying to teach her. I am a special ed teacher who works with limited numbers of students and when I am one on one or in a small group with students like this I get so taken down by this. I don't have a room full of students where I have a variety of students, some of which would enjoy what you are doing. I think maybe that would keep these disrespectful students from bothering me so much, I don't know may be not. I do have other students who aren't like that but a lot of my children pout up and shut down easily because they are students who have had a lot of trouble with academics. This is the beginning of my 28th year with this and I go through periods like this off and on, always have. Every time it happens though I think, I am so tired of feeling this way!! Makes me want to walk in and just quit although financially I can't yet. Then I feel so trapped!!! I get into not being able to sleep well etc. It just seems to change me completely from a calm, in control person to someone who is scared to death all the time. I know I am not seeing how to apply ACT techniques right now and that frustrates me even further!! Need help from you fellow travelers!!

[Guest guest]

i just thought it might be applicable and perhaps helpful....

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[Guest guest]

Thank you Bruce for the empathy. That does always help. It just baffles me how

some students don't cause me to feel threatened and others do. The urge to push

it out is so strong even though I logically know that won't work. It feels so

threatening to my well being!! One positive thing I can say is that it causes me

to do the ACT work which ultimately helps me in all areas of my life! Thanks

again for your heartfelt response, Do you think working from home causes you to

miss being engaged with others or do you like that part of your job? Is it your

job that is possibly causing your feeling of lack of purpose? Not trying to

judge or assume just trying to help since your post was so helpful to me!!

Thanks again!!

>

> > Well, I am back in school and the overwhelming fear of not being

> > able to handle the children is back upon me. I can go through times

> > when I feel perfectly capable to do my job and then the switch can

> > just flip and I feel completely scared to death. There are certain

> > types of students the send me over the edge. I'll try to describe. I

> > have a little girl right now who brings out fear in me. She has

> > " attitude " . She will huff when asked to do work, act like she is so

> > bored, in general I get the feeling that she is just barely

> > tolerating me and what I am trying to teach her. I am a special ed

> > teacher who works with limited numbers of students and when I am one

> > on one or in a small group with students like this I get so taken

> > down by this. I don't have a room full of students where I have a

> > variety of students, some of which would enjoy what you are doing. I

> > think maybe that would keep these disrespectful students from

> > bothering me so much, I don't know may be not. I do have other

> > students who aren't like that but a lot of my children pout up and

> > shut down easily because they are students who have had a lot of

> > trouble with academics. This is the beginning of my 28th year with

> > this and I go through periods like this off and on, always have.

> > Every time it happens though I think, I am so tired of feeling this

> > way!! Makes me want to walk in and just quit although financially I

> > can't yet. Then I feel so trapped!!! I get into not being able to

> > sleep well etc. It just seems to change me completely from a calm,

> > in control person to someone who is scared to death all the time. I

> > know I am not seeing how to apply ACT techniques right now and that

> > frustrates me even further!! Need help from you fellow travelers!!

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Wanda! I have put the Mindi app on my phone. It does have great points.

It is so hard for me to let go and let the passengers just be. I have a hard

time getting past them feeling so threatening!!I think that is the hardest part

of the ACT work for me!!!

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your help!! That is where I have the most difficulty. I WANT to feel

calm and in control!! The other feels so unnatural. Guess this is where I need

the most work. My urge to " fix it " is still so strong. Because there are times

when I don't feel this way I tend to think I should be able to knock it out when

it comes. I know that is not true but I feel it just the same. What ACT

exercises would help me the most with this??

> >

> > Well, I am back in school and the overwhelming fear of not being able to

handle the children is back upon me. I can go through times when I feel

perfectly capable to do my job and then the switch can just flip and I feel

completely scared to death. There are certain types of students the send me over

the edge. I'll try to describe. I have a little girl right now who brings out

fear in me. She has " attitude " . She will huff when asked to do work, act like

she is so bored, in general I get the feeling that she is just barely tolerating

me and what I am trying to teach her. I am a special ed teacher who works with

limited numbers of students and when I am one on one or in a small group with

students like this I get so taken down by this. I don't have a room full of

students where I have a variety of students, some of which would enjoy what you

are doing. I think maybe that would keep these disrespectful students from

bothering me so much, I don't know may be not. I do have other students who

aren't like that but a lot of my children pout up and shut down easily because

they are students who have had a lot of trouble with academics. This is the

beginning of my 28th year with this and I go through periods like this off and

on, always have. Every time it happens though I think, I am so tired of feeling

this way!! Makes me want to walk in and just quit although financially I can't

yet. Then I feel so trapped!!! I get into not being able to sleep well etc. It

just seems to change me completely from a calm, in control person to someone who

is scared to death all the time. I know I am not seeing how to apply ACT

techniques right now and that frustrates me even further!! Need help from you

fellow travelers!!

> >

>