Introduction

[Guest guest]

>

> Casey, it is wonderful to have you back!

>

Thanks darling. Good to be back

[Guest guest]

Hi Casey,

I agree with you about the beating yourself up thing - I have come to realize that I did the very best I could at the time. I made the best decisions I could, and it was the path I had to take to get to where I am today. I have many blessings in my life and lots of gratitudes.

And I'm very grateful I have the opportunity now to do things differently.

Pat

-----Original Message-----From: Withdrawal_and_Recovery [mailto:Withdrawal_and_Recovery ]On Behalf Of mcpark99_2000Sent: Friday, February 24, 2006 4:43 PMTo: Withdrawal_and_Recovery Subject: Re: IntroductionPat,I was struck by the wisdom in your post."I have read some of the posts and would like to know more about the CBT groups, as I think it would be helpful to me. I used these drugs instead of alcohol, sometimes I think, because I could not accept life on life's terms, and I still have the tendency to want to always take the easier, softer way."Welcome to our culture. Easy, quick fixes are the norm. I, like most here, have searched long and far for these exact sort of things. However, one thing I have learned is that beating myself up with regret for going after the quick fixes does absolutely nothing and is counterproductive. I would rather think of my experiences with psychiatric drugs as well as alcohol as being a learning experience. I don't think without them I could have gotten to be the person I am today.Furthermore, without these experiences I wouldn't have given myself the opportunities to really explore the meaning of true health. Sure, it sucks that we have to continue to suffer thanks to ill-informed doctors and our own willingness to find the quick fix, but maybe in the process of getting healthy we can alert others and save them from the same torment we are having to go through. God has a plan. Be well,Casey

[Guest guest]

Thanks, .

At one point over ten years ago, I was taking I think four different psych meds daily. I'm so grateful to be on the weaning path.

Pat

-----Original Message-----From: Withdrawal_and_Recovery [mailto:Withdrawal_and_Recovery ]On Behalf Of give4goodSent: Friday, February 24, 2006 4:54 PMTo: Withdrawal_and_Recovery Subject: Re: Re: Introduction

Pat,

Welcome to the group. You will find lots of support and encouragement here. You will also learn alot about nutrition and supplements that could very well help you with your withdrawal.

This group has helped me immensely. One year ago I was taking over 38+ psych pills a day and now I'm down to only 4 total a day. Thanks to catherine and this group.

I am tapering off of Geodon (was 160mg and now I'm at 20mg). In the Month of may I hope to begin my withdrawal off of Klonopin. It's scarey to think about, but with such wonderful people in this group I gain hope and encouragement.

I send "warm fuzzies" your way to hug you and welcome you here.

Hugs V.

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[Guest guest]

I would urge any pain sufferer to try dl methionine before becoming

dependant upon narcotics.

Even if it doesn't quit get all the pain it may help you stay of more benign

treatment.

medusa

introduction

> I am new to the group

>

> I am a lupus/osteoarthritis/fibromyalgia sufferer

> I am interested to know what others use for pain management

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

When I go to the Pain Clinic next month I will ask for a print out of what

exactly what I have. I haven't bothered to ask properly as I was going to

take the Op.

I spoke to my GP and she said that she see's both the good and

bad results and she was understanding about me changing my mind. I am not

scared of hospitals, needles etc, just the results. As you say, , it is

not a cure.

My pain is mostly when I stand so I just have to say " Don't

stand " well for long. In the house I am always near a chair so fall into one.

Thank you for the welcome. It is greatly appreciated

Berenice

[Guest guest]

thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry someone so young

is having to deal with CP as you are. I hope and pray that you will

find the relief soon. I also understand what you are going through with

the breast lump and hope that you get good news soon also.

I recently was told I might have lumg cancer and went thought a terrible

endoscopy that they puntured my lung during that test. I finally went to a Dr.

for a second opinion and just by a chest xray they told me it was good and

clear.

Doctors I just don't know about anymore, its hard to trust them. But goodluck

hon, and let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Tender hugs, Sheree

[Guest guest]

Hello ,

Welcome to the group. I am sorry you are in so much pain and just barely

regained insurance so can maybe now get some help with it all. I am so sorry

you discovered a lump and have to have a biopsy surgery to see if it is cancer.

I hope and pray that it is not cancer! Don't feel bad about being young and

having a body like that of someone who has lived more years. I am 29 years old

and have areas of my body like that of someone who is 50-60 years old as well.

I really hope that with your new insurance, you will be able to get things

taken care of now. I am sure your husband and children must have a hard time

seeing you in so much pain. I know my husband does sometimes too. Hang in

there!

Love,

Becky in SD

wrote:

Hello everyone. My name is . I'm a 32 year old mother of 4

(three of my own and a stepdaughter). I have had chronic back pain

for many reasons and from many injuries for about 10 years, I also

have frequent severe migraines. Included in my back problems is

advanced Degenerative Disc Disease. As off the last MRI I had the

back of a 50-60 year old woman (disc wise).

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I'm new to this group too. I understand your feelings in trying to

describe to your husband what's going on. When I try explaining it

to others they have the deer in headlights look.

I've made a comparison with people that seems to work. I tell them

my Nada has the same psychological disorder as Adolf Hitler had. The

light bulb goes on when they process that. My therapist, who

diagnosed nada, told me in therapy a couple years ago that my

childhood was the Holocaust; so the Hitler comparison has a little

more weight with me.

I don't live in NYC, but would suggest you find a reputable therapist

who has diagnosed and treated BPD's. Mine was very helpful and was

able to guide me through the beginning's of my healing process.

Also, I found after a decade of trying to manage a relationship with

my family that I had to end all contact. I even changed my legal

name. It wasn't until I did that, and moved away, that the real

healing process has had any significant traction for me.

I know its difficult, but I found that there were too many triggers

in remaining in contact with any of my immediate family. The

enmeshment to me as the parentified oldest brother was too much to

allow for my own healing.

Hang in there.

Parentified

[Guest guest]

It may take me a day or so to write this but I felt that an introduction of some

sort is in order.

My name is Amy and it has been suggested by my therapist that my mother has BPD.

After reading about it (my therapist after only a few sessions already realizes

that I want information - to read), it fits her to a " T " . To a " T " . I wish

someone had brought it up earlier in my life. I wish she wasn't sick. I wish I

had a " normal " childhood.

But I didn't. And I suppose some have had it worse. I know that some have had

it worse, but damn.

Damn.

I wish I could get her help, but that will never happen. The best I can do is

get myself help for my messed up up-bringing. I hope that through this list I

can help some of you, and get support in return. I can hardly believe a list

like this exists, I've been looking for ages but never had the appropriate

wording. " Borderline Personality Disorder " has explained so many things for me.

I will probably spend the next months realizing that my mother wasn't just

" mean " or " evil " . She has a problem. She is sick. And unfortunately, I have

to cut myself off from her yet again to retain my own sanity. I have lost all of

my family because of her... my father, my grandparents, my aunt, uncles,

cousins... I know none of them because of her illness. I have no family. I

still have to deal with that. I have joined a new family - my fiance's. I have

created my own family over the years - my friends. I have wonderful people

surrounding me but have always

had an emptiness. And now I take the time to help myself.

I reckon I'm done blabbering. I appreciate all the stories I have read and all

the help your stories offer.

Thanks!

Amy

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[Guest guest]

Welcome, Amy. Yes, we've all been there. I have an amazing non-biological

family, which I've made and cultivated over the past 10 years, since

learning about my parents' BPD and that I couldn't change them. I'm still

dealing with the hope of changing some biological family members, or at

least getting them to understand my LC/NC decision so that I feel better

about it. These things take time. But the group here has really helped me to

realize it's not that important... I gotta focus on me!

[Guest guest]

Welcome,

It's interesting to me what you said about believing your mom isn't " evil "

but sick. My mom's excuse for everything has always been that she is sick

but now that I know about BPD I'm starting to believe she is evil. These are

words that I still can't define.

Thanks for your post and welcome, girlscout

>

> Welcome, Amy. Yes, we've all been there. I have an amazing

> non-biological

> family, which I've made and cultivated over the past 10 years, since

> learning about my parents' BPD and that I couldn't change them. I'm still

> dealing with the hope of changing some biological family members, or at

> least getting them to understand my LC/NC decision so that I feel better

> about it. These things take time. But the group here has really helped me

> to

> realize it's not that important... I gotta focus on me!

>

>

[Guest guest]

You know exactly what to do and the end result is to get your nada out of the

house and away from your kids. She is clearly undermining your authority with

your children and making problems where there don't need to be any. Call her

bluff. If she wants to call CPS, let her but make sure you have documented all

of her threats. Catalog all of HER behavior towards your children. Go so far as

to set up a hidden video to catch her in the act. Then tell her to fire away,

you will show the CPS folks just what kind of person she is and that in the best

interests of YOUR children you are trying to get them away from an abusive

personality. Don't give in to her, she knows she has you scared. If you have to,

consult a lawyer about what you can do legally. Create a plan, BUT GET HER OUT

OF THERE.

Put those children first. Let me also say you have my admiration for what you

have done for those children so far. To be able to adopt at your age and to take

in kids with challenges is cause for celebration. You are a good person. Just

get rid of the noise and things should start to smooth out. Good luck.

Introduction

Hi,

After 59 years, I've had it with my mother. She has been living with

me and my kids for over 6 years and her behavior becomes more

intolerable daily.. A little background: I'm single and adopted

three kids internationally as a single mom. I was a first-time mom

at 51. I'd always wanted to have kids but I was too afraid I'd be

the kind of parent my mother was/is. My kids are 7, 9 and 13. The

13 year old has been with me for 18 months; she has reactive

attachment disorder and oppositional defiant disorder. If I had

known, I wouldn't have adopted her, but she's mine now. If I had

known the most volatile of personality disorders to place together, I

couldn't have done a better job. My mother hates my daughter and

takes every opportunity to let her know. My mother has always needed

a target. When I was a kid (only child) my cousin lived with us for

awhile until she ran away to get away from my mother. Then, after my

father died and my mother remarried a man with daughter; my

stepsister is a phenomenal person, given the amount of physical,

verbal and emotional abuse she endured from age 9 forward. My mother

was always " good " to me - not particularly physically or verbally

abusive except for the times when she perceived I was rebelling and

then (and to this day) she will say, " I don't know why you hate me so

much. I'm going to get a gun, go into the woods and blow my brains

out. " This, of course, scared me when I was a kid but I came to

realize that for all her threats there was nothing behind it except

manipulation.

She has been physically, emotionally and verbally abusive to my 9

year old as well. My 7 year old is a very adorable, sweet natured,

easy going kid and is the golden child who can do no wrong and is

getting brainwashed that her sisters are the devil incarnate. And

the abuse always occurs when I'm not there. If I walk down the long

driveway to the mailbox, she'll smack one or both of the two older

girls or tell them they're worthless, stupid, ugly.

I need to get her out of my home (yes, it's my home). But each time

I've brought it up, my mother says she's going to call CPS and I'll

never see my children again, that I've stolen all of her money, that

I just throw people away, that she'll have me charged with elder

abuse, etc. And once that happens I have a hard time staying focused

and usually say, " I'm not part of this conversation, " and walk away.

Have any of you had to extricate an elderly parent from your home?

If so, how did you manage it? My mother is 88, has all her

faculties, is healthy and still drives.

Thank you!

Cornelia