Guest guest Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 I am beggining to understand many decissions I took in life were all because I desperately needed my nada´s approval. So I married the guy she wanted...he is a diagnosed sociopath, violent and who made me feel worthless just like my nada all the time I spent with him. I divorced after my second´s child birth. After 12 years, I was sued by him to take custody of my 14 year old girl and my 13 year old boy, accusing me of the most unfair and incredible lies...and guess who supported him... MY MOTHER!!!! She was his witness in the trial. I am devastated to possibly loose custody of my children, and more than anything because they are both lying, he hasn´t proved ANYTHING, but my mother took his side. I couldn´t understand why until I began reading about her borderline personality. But I don´t find a way to feel conforted or understood...insetead, again I have to understand her and I hate this!!! What about me??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2008 Report Share Posted May 5, 2008 I'm so sorry that you are struggling through this. It's un- believable how BPD's can get caught up in these schmear campaigns to the point that they act like they believe the lies themselves. And it really puts you in the position to become a victim. Don't let them victimize you. Try to find rational people that call both of them into question as witnesses. Don't let them paint you into some sort of corner. Find some witnesses of your own character who can describe you accurately. Well, I know nothing about the law. Except, that often times it seems to not work towards anything healthy for those involved. But, you may find some really good advice on the MSN group for narcissitic personality disorder. They talk alot about dealing with schmear campaigns and custody and all of that. They tell you exactly how to act towards the person who is running the schmear campaign. My nada has small schmear campaigns against anyone who crosses her the wrong way, irritates her or isn't flattering her enough. I've learned alot from these mini campaigns. The other person isn't even aware she's done this to tham. She starts saying ignorant things behind the persons back...things that I guess would be really insulting to her. They just make me laugh. She'll say, " Well, they haven't even been to college " or " They can't even get a decent job. " And the reality of it is often they have been to college or do have a decent job. She knows nothing about them. Another thing she likes to accuse people of is being fat. And she makes really ignorant comments to make her self look better than them. I find it really stupid. It's just that on a grander scale, schmear campaigns can be so damageing to someone. That's the sad part. > > I am beggining to understand many decissions I took in life were all because I desperately > needed my nada´s approval. So I married the guy she wanted...he is a diagnosed sociopath, > violent and who made me feel worthless just like my nada all the time I spent with him. > I divorced after my second´s child birth. After 12 years, I was sued by him to take custody of > my 14 year old girl and my 13 year old boy, accusing me of the most unfair and incredible > lies...and guess who supported him... MY MOTHER!!!! She was his witness in the trial. > I am devastated to possibly loose custody of my children, and more than anything because > they are both lying, he hasn´t proved ANYTHING, but my mother took his side. > I couldn´t understand why until I began reading about her borderline personality. But I don´t > find a way to feel conforted or understood...insetead, again I have to understand her and I > hate this!!! > What about me??? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Honey if you have a lawyer you need to get this infromation into that person's hands ASAP. It all goes towards credibility, if your Nada is BPD and the lawyer can bring that out, it cuts her worth as a witness for your A-Hole ex. DO NOT lie down for these creeps. Use every weapon available to you to keep custody of your kids and keep your kids away from the nada and the ex.. Fight like a tigeress for your kids and don't let anyone take them away. You know what they are in for. Let your nada go. She has chosen her side, let her live with it. Talk to your lawyer about your experiences and make sure they understand that they are fighting with a BPD on the witness stand. If you have to, put them in touch with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder. Good luck Be Strong What to do now? I am beggining to understand many decissions I took in life were all because I desperately needed my nada´s approval. So I married the guy she wanted...he is a diagnosed sociopath, violent and who made me feel worthless just like my nada all the time I spent with him. I divorced after my second´s child birth. After 12 years, I was sued by him to take custody of my 14 year old girl and my 13 year old boy, accusing me of the most unfair and incredible lies....and guess who supported him... MY MOTHER!!!! She was his witness in the trial. I am devastated to possibly loose custody of my children, and more than anything because they are both lying, he hasn´t proved ANYTHING, but my mother took his side. I couldn´t understand why until I began reading about her borderline personality. But I don´t find a way to feel conforted or understood.. .insetead, again I have to understand her and I hate this!!! What about me??? ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 you are right to say " what about me? " This board is one of the only places I've ever found that is about the child of the bpd instead of trying to understand or tolerate the bpd. A therapist can help with that but most of the time there is a power imbalance and I find this more helpful. I've done a bit of reading about divorcing mentall ill/personality disorder types because my brother is divorcing one and in a custody battle for his child, his ex is on crack, and etc, as if the disorder isn't enough, and documentation of *everything* seems to be the key, lilyblue is right about telling the attorney. This betrayal is horrible, it's the worst kind. ((((hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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