Guest guest Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Hi Abby D, I've got to the point where I'm asking myself " how can I BE after all that's gone down? " so my answer is, well here I am, there are things I cannot or maybe would not change, I have a screwed up personality ok but I'm full of love, I have learned to be non judgmental in the face of things beyond other's comprehension, I can see, feel, understand things beyond eyes and ears, I have truely felt love, pain and joy. I am an alive, vibrant human being, even and especially when I'm down down down. To love when one fears love the most, yes this is my saving grace, I will never,never give up, never stop loving, never stop believing that I am here for a purpose. In my darkest days my Angels always come through. Every step takes me to another signpost, out of the madness, the solitude and the suffering. One step at a time, one sign after another, one flower TC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Hey , I remember feeling invisible, especially as a child and young adult 'Am I really here? Can people see me?' I think Understanding the Borderline Mother talks about this. Basically, parents and esp mothers are supposed to mirror their infant, saying things like " I see you. Look at that big smile. You are so cute. etc etc. " Because BPDs aren't able to mirror their children miss out on some important developmental stesp and sometimes grow up to feel invisible. I hope this helps. You aren't invisible. I can see the huge strides you are making. You sound a lot stronger today than you did when I first heard from you. Hugs, girlscout > > Hi Abby D, > I've got to the point where I'm asking myself " how can I BE after all > that's gone down? " so my answer is, well here I am, there are things I cannot > or maybe would not change, I have a screwed up personality ok but I'm full > of love, I have learned to be non judgmental in the face of things beyond > other's comprehension, I can see, feel, understand things beyond eyes and > ears, I have truely felt love, pain and joy. I am an alive, vibrant human > being, even and especially when I'm down down down. To love when one fears > love the most, yes this is my saving grace, I will never,never give up, > never stop loving, never stop believing that I am here for a purpose. In my > darkest days my Angels always come through. Every step takes me to another > signpost, out of the madness, the solitude and the suffering. One step at a > time, one sign after another, one flower > TC > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 , up late in tears is something I experience also. I don't know about you but even as a young child I laid awake every night for hours crying. Sometimes I just laid there like a pile of guilt- ridden nerves. I hope you are in therapy, I think you can over come this. It's a lot of work but you are CERTAINLY not alone, and not invisible. I see your experience as clearly as my own. As an adult I am still suffering from severe insomnia. A lot of it involves weeping and replaying traumatic events in my mind. My therapist suggested " concerta " which is a stimulant. It's supposed to be for my ADD (which I just learned that I have... now at age 29!) I don't think it's helping with the insomnia. I am wondering about anti-depressants... can anyone comment on this situation? > > Hi Abby D, > I've got to the point where I'm asking myself " how can I BE after all that's gone down? " so my answer is, well here I am, there are things I cannot or maybe would not change, I have a screwed up personality ok but I'm full of love, I have learned to be non judgmental in the face of things beyond other's comprehension, I can see, feel, understand things beyond eyes and ears, I have truely felt love, pain and joy. I am an alive, vibrant human being, even and especially when I'm down down down. To love when one fears love the most, yes this is my saving grace, I will never,never give up, never stop loving, never stop believing that I am here for a purpose. In my darkest days my Angels always come through. Every step takes me to another signpost, out of the madness, the solitude and the suffering. One step at a time, one sign after another, one flower > TC > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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