bpd craziness today

[Guest guest]

I just need to vent a little bit right now.

My brother calls this afternoon and he's holding my niece again from

her mother, bpd mom is now homeless and staying with random men,

which violates the custody agreement. I call my mom to tell her this

and ask her if my brother is mad at me because he hung up mid phone

call; I get my dad instead. Well then my brother calls back, I hang

up with my dad, and my dad calls back and demands that I talk to him

in one ear and my brother in the other. I say I have to go and hang

up and my dad calls back THREE TIMES. I have never seen the

gatekeeper stuff so clearly as through this interaction today, he

can't stand that my brother and I are talking and he's not included

in the conversation. So I ignore those phone calls when they come in

and continue talking to my brother.

My brother and I talk about things going on with my niece and his

bpd almost ex-wife and he drops the bombshell (to me anyway) that

his daughter thinks she is a dark-skinned dark-haired hispanic.

Apparently this is how her mother is telling her she appears. I am

completely freaked out by this and I don't know what to make of it.

She is one quarter hispanic but is fair-haired, fair-skinned and

blue-eyed. So her lunatic mother has somehow convinced her that her

appearance is not what it appears in the mirror. This is one of the

sickest things I've ever heard, and heartbreaking because my brother

only has her two days out of the week so they are just scratching

the surface of the damage that has been done to her apparently. Her

drug use has multiplied her bpd traits 100 times.

I have that 'fried' feeling that I get sometimes after too much of

this stuff. My brother is trying again to get full custody and I

know that he will keep doing this until he prevails; each time is a

new round of heartbreaking revelations and drama/trauma/and

consternation. And my dad's reactions today floored me, usual there

is a bit more subtlety to what he does but today it was blatant. I

can't figure out why he didn't want my brother and I to hold a

conversation without his 'supervision'. When the topic came up later

he kept making comments that I now know are pure narcissistic

reactions. When I think of myself growing up with someone who

reacted to bad situations in a way that makes them exponentially

worse, I wonder how I am not in a padded room somewhere. Sigh...just

needed to get that out.

[Guest guest]

I have had the same thoughts as you....how is it I am not off some

where in a padded room. That brings a picture to my mind of being

trapped somewhere and taken care of. Whereas dealing with these BPD

drama's I often just feel trapped...no care included.

>

> I just need to vent a little bit right now.

>

> My brother calls this afternoon and he's holding my niece again

from

> her mother, bpd mom is now homeless and staying with random men,

> which violates the custody agreement. I call my mom to tell her

this

> and ask her if my brother is mad at me because he hung up mid phone

> call; I get my dad instead. Well then my brother calls back, I hang

> up with my dad, and my dad calls back and demands that I talk to

him

> in one ear and my brother in the other. I say I have to go and hang

> up and my dad calls back THREE TIMES. I have never seen the

> gatekeeper stuff so clearly as through this interaction today, he

> can't stand that my brother and I are talking and he's not

included

> in the conversation. So I ignore those phone calls when they come

in

> and continue talking to my brother.

>

> My brother and I talk about things going on with my niece and his

> bpd almost ex-wife and he drops the bombshell (to me anyway) that

> his daughter thinks she is a dark-skinned dark-haired hispanic.

> Apparently this is how her mother is telling her she appears. I am

> completely freaked out by this and I don't know what to make of it.

> She is one quarter hispanic but is fair-haired, fair-skinned and

> blue-eyed. So her lunatic mother has somehow convinced her that her

> appearance is not what it appears in the mirror. This is one of the

> sickest things I've ever heard, and heartbreaking because my

brother

> only has her two days out of the week so they are just scratching

> the surface of the damage that has been done to her apparently. Her

> drug use has multiplied her bpd traits 100 times.

>

> I have that 'fried' feeling that I get sometimes after too much of

> this stuff. My brother is trying again to get full custody and I

> know that he will keep doing this until he prevails; each time is a

> new round of heartbreaking revelations and drama/trauma/and

> consternation. And my dad's reactions today floored me, usual there

> is a bit more subtlety to what he does but today it was blatant. I

> can't figure out why he didn't want my brother and I to hold a

> conversation without his 'supervision'. When the topic came up

later

> he kept making comments that I now know are pure narcissistic

> reactions. When I think of myself growing up with someone who

> reacted to bad situations in a way that makes them exponentially

> worse, I wonder how I am not in a padded room somewhere.

Sigh...just

> needed to get that out.

>

[Guest guest]

I think it is great how you and your brother can support one another. It is

rather rude and very inappropriate that your father would want the phone heald

up as if to listen in on your adult conversation. I think you hit the nail on

the head about the gatekeeping!

mayalisa728 wrote: I just need to vent a little

bit right now.

My brother calls this afternoon and he's holding my niece again from

her mother, bpd mom is now homeless and staying with random men,

which violates the custody agreement. I call my mom to tell her this

and ask her if my brother is mad at me because he hung up mid phone

call; I get my dad instead. Well then my brother calls back, I hang

up with my dad, and my dad calls back and demands that I talk to him

in one ear and my brother in the other. I say I have to go and hang

up and my dad calls back THREE TIMES. I have never seen the

gatekeeper stuff so clearly as through this interaction today, he

can't stand that my brother and I are talking and he's not included

in the conversation. So I ignore those phone calls when they come in

and continue talking to my brother.

My brother and I talk about things going on with my niece and his

bpd almost ex-wife and he drops the bombshell (to me anyway) that

his daughter thinks she is a dark-skinned dark-haired hispanic.

Apparently this is how her mother is telling her she appears. I am

completely freaked out by this and I don't know what to make of it.

She is one quarter hispanic but is fair-haired, fair-skinned and

blue-eyed. So her lunatic mother has somehow convinced her that her

appearance is not what it appears in the mirror. This is one of the

sickest things I've ever heard, and heartbreaking because my brother

only has her two days out of the week so they are just scratching

the surface of the damage that has been done to her apparently. Her

drug use has multiplied her bpd traits 100 times.

I have that 'fried' feeling that I get sometimes after too much of

this stuff. My brother is trying again to get full custody and I

know that he will keep doing this until he prevails; each time is a

new round of heartbreaking revelations and drama/trauma/and

consternation. And my dad's reactions today floored me, usual there

is a bit more subtlety to what he does but today it was blatant. I

can't figure out why he didn't want my brother and I to hold a

conversation without his 'supervision'. When the topic came up later

he kept making comments that I now know are pure narcissistic

reactions. When I think of myself growing up with someone who

reacted to bad situations in a way that makes them exponentially

worse, I wonder how I am not in a padded room somewhere. Sigh...just

needed to get that out.

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry your family is being put through this. One suggestion, if your

brother does not have a video camera, he needs to get one. The story you just

told would be unbelievable unless it came out of the child's mouth. Do not mess

around with your soon to be ex-SIL, she is dangerous in her behavior and will

become even more so as the stress on her multiplies. The more men she shacks up

with just means that there are more opportunities that the child will suffer at

the hands of an a-hole. The only way to sway the court is to have EVERYTHING

documented. Have your brother keep a log, and build his case. That child is in

real harms way. It twists my stomach to think about what that child is going

through. She is lucky to have an aunt like you. As for the fada, what a poser.

If your brother hasn't looked up father's rights on google here are a few sites:

http://www.fightforyourkids.com/Father_s_Rights.html?gclid=CNqD4pK-pJMCFQptswod1\

RbdoA

http://www.fathersrightsinc.com/

http://www.themenscenter.com/National/national06.htm

http://menstuff.org/resources/resourcefiles/fathers.html

He really needs to get into a support group that has other father's who are

going through this as well. You can provide information on the BPD but he really

needs to talk to men who are in the thick of it the same way he is. Their advice

will be significant and will have more of an impact. Best of luck for you and

your brother. I'll say a prayer for the little one tonight.

Be strong

bpd craziness today

I just need to vent a little bit right now.

My brother calls this afternoon and he's holding my niece again from

her mother, bpd mom is now homeless and staying with random men,

which violates the custody agreement.. I call my mom to tell her this

and ask her if my brother is mad at me because he hung up mid phone

call; I get my dad instead. Well then my brother calls back, I hang

up with my dad, and my dad calls back and demands that I talk to him

in one ear and my brother in the other. I say I have to go and hang

up and my dad calls back THREE TIMES. I have never seen the

gatekeeper stuff so clearly as through this interaction today, he

can't stand that my brother and I are talking and he's not included

in the conversation. So I ignore those phone calls when they come in

and continue talking to my brother.

My brother and I talk about things going on with my niece and his

bpd almost ex-wife and he drops the bombshell (to me anyway) that

his daughter thinks she is a dark-skinned dark-haired hispanic.

Apparently this is how her mother is telling her she appears. I am

completely freaked out by this and I don't know what to make of it.

She is one quarter hispanic but is fair-haired, fair-skinned and

blue-eyed. So her lunatic mother has somehow convinced her that her

appearance is not what it appears in the mirror. This is one of the

sickest things I've ever heard, and heartbreaking because my brother

only has her two days out of the week so they are just scratching

the surface of the damage that has been done to her apparently. Her

drug use has multiplied her bpd traits 100 times.

I have that 'fried' feeling that I get sometimes after too much of

this stuff. My brother is trying again to get full custody and I

know that he will keep doing this until he prevails; each time is a

new round of heartbreaking revelations and drama/trauma/ and

consternation. And my dad's reactions today floored me, usual there

is a bit more subtlety to what he does but today it was blatant. I

can't figure out why he didn't want my brother and I to hold a

conversation without his 'supervision' . When the topic came up later

he kept making comments that I now know are pure narcissistic

reactions. When I think of myself growing up with someone who

reacted to bad situations in a way that makes them exponentially

worse, I wonder how I am not in a padded room somewhere. Sigh...just

needed to get that out.

[Guest guest]

yeah, that was really weird, it surprised even me.

It's really interesting once you come here and learn about this bpd

stuff and then you can kind of detach and stand back and just watch

this stuff and how textbook it all is as far as falling into patterns

of bpd behavior.

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean about the 'no care'...I feel like it's because I

am serving a purpose for them, being what they want me to be instead

of what I truly am, that is why no care is given, if I am a lifeless

doll, a prop, then I really don't need any care. It's really amazing

we even survive it.

[Guest guest]

thanks for the supportive post, it continues to be stressful. they

are in another state so I don't deal with SIL thank god (and lucky

for her, probably). She managed to get past security last night at

his gated community and have a complete meltdown on his doorstep,

screaming for 'her baby'. Of course she didn't bring police, like a

parent with an actual valid claim to custody would; since she is

most likely still using she is not going anywhere near police. She's

conning in AA again so she rounded up one of those poor people to

dump her traumarama on and they are apparently bending over

backwards to help her, which I knew would happen. You are right

about the danger, which I explicitly explained to my brother (though

his girlfriend is working on him from the other end as well so he

has no illusions about it). She is such a bpd, not caring about the

effect of her histrionics on her daughter, whom she knows very well

is safe and cared for with my brother (and he doesn't have that

assurance when niece is with her, especially since she is de facto

homeless now, and essentially couch-surfing with these random AA

men) and not caring that to go into AA and get these people all

worked up about this without telling them the truth is just beyond

wrong, wrong, wrong. She doesn't care about anything, she is just a

textbook bpd. I mean, until a couple of weeks ago she was staying

with her son and even HE kicked her out.