the letter you keep to yourself prior to no contact

[Guest guest]

my therapist ''dictated'' a letter today. we wrote it to my fada

from whom i am in the process beginning a period of nc.

i thought you may be able to take something from it...he said that my

only job from here on in was to breathe...life will no longer happen

to me...it will happen through me. and at some point, i may know

whether i should communicate this and how i.e. verbally or with an

actual letter. here it is, take artistic freedom, but you'll get the

point:

dear ___

your (fill in action item i.e. offensive email, fit of rage,

inappropriate comment ) the other day was a a gift and a revelation.

in fact, it was an epiphany about how symbiotic, convoluted,

confusing, guilt ridden and full of blame our relationship has been

for my entire life.

at this time, i need to continue being my own person, in my own skin,

with my family, taking care of the business of my life.

there may come a time when i will be available for contact with you.

when and if that time comes, i will let you know. love, _________

[Guest guest]

wow, that really says it all, doesn't it. Very powerful. I love the

part about " my own person, in my own skin " . My favorite poet,

Chrystos, said in one of her poems that her therapist told her, " you

live as though you have no skin " . Growing up I felt like my skin was

pulled off over and over by my parent's insanity and all I had left

was just a big scar. (((hugs)))

[Guest guest]

It will completely confuse him.

the letter you keep to yourself prior to no contact

my therapist ''dictated'' a letter today. we wrote it to my fada

from whom i am in the process beginning a period of nc.

i thought you may be able to take something from it...he said that my

only job from here on in was to breathe...life will no longer happen

to me...it will happen through me. and at some point, i may know

whether i should communicate this and how i.e. verbally or with an

actual letter. here it is, take artistic freedom, but you'll get the

point:

dear ___

your (fill in action item i.e. offensive email, fit of rage,

inappropriate comment ) the other day was a a gift and a revelation.

in fact, it was an epiphany about how symbiotic, convoluted,

confusing, guilt ridden and full of blame our relationship has been

for my entire life.

at this time, i need to continue being my own person, in my own skin,

with my family, taking care of the business of my life.

there may come a time when i will be available for contact with you.

when and if that time comes, i will let you know. love, _________