Guest guest Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 --- sylvia bennett wrote: > > I have noticed lately that if I overdo or am stressed (good or bad) tht I have more pain. Hi Sylvia - This is very common, no matter what the source of your pain. It has been shown over and over that stress and over-doing it will always increase pain levels. This is why working with a psychologist trained in pain management techniques is so helpful. They can teach you how to manage stress so that you actually reduce your pain. They also work with you to teach you how to " pace " yourself to reduce pain. " Pacing " means that if you need to do 10 hours of work, for example, you can choose to do 10 hours all in one day and then spend the next four days in bed in agony trying to recover from overdoing it - or you can work for 2 hours each day for five days and accomplish the same things but not end up in agonizing pain while doing it! Pacing yourself means recognizing and working within your physical limits. Anyway, you're not unusual, and what you're experiencing probably doesn't have anything to do with whatever diagnosis you eventually get. We all experience the exact same thing, whether our pain is caused by a back injury, or rheumatoid arthritis, or MS, or neuropathy, or fibromyalgia, or any other source. Try to find a psychologist or therapist with expertise in chronic pain management. This doesn't mean that the pain is " in your head. " The point is to gain tools to help manage your pain and make your life more functional and enjoyable. Cheryl in AZ Moderator > > Here's my other big concern. I went to my doctor this week and asked him how much longer I can keep working. Thats because my boss has been saying things like if you make mistakes you are no good to me. I don't take pain pills in the daytime because they give me such a bad time about being " no good to them " but then at night I am just worn out and in horrible pain because I am always playing catch up. > > Well anyhow now I am having a hard time thinking as fast as I used to because the pain is blocking me. So I will probably get fired soon. My doctor says it's not all in my head but he doesn't know what ist is so he can't put me off work. He is sending me to yet another specialist. UGH > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 Hi P.Bear I had the same feelings and still do from time to time when I started standing my ground and setting boundaries with my bpd mother and dish rag father. We ko's tend to have very over active guilt responses that keep us from being able to take our own needs into consideration. I started out sugar coating my emails and boundary requests but I now am very direct or my nada doesn't get it. The more direct and blunt I am the quicker she gets it, longer she respects it and even seems to be more ok with it. Grey areas I think are tough for bpds to understand. Below is the email I just sent to my parents this morning. (thanks to Kyla for her words of encouragement here on the board!) My parents also moved in 3 blocks from our home so I have to set pretty clear boundaries to keep contact with them at bay. I'll let you know what response I get but as long as they leave me alone, I don't really care anymore. Good luck! Karn " Mom and Dad, Please request my permission in the future to drop items off at my house, come to my home or on my property. This may require more advanced notice for delivery of birthday items in the future. There is also always the option of mailing birthday items. You are also required to have my permission to enter my children's places of school/activities or come in contact with them in any way. Driving by or facilitating chance encounters is a stalking, bullying and intimidating behavior. If you cannot control and avoid these behaviors, maybe you should consider taking steps that will make these behaviors less tempting for you. I might normally be inclined to say something nice here or thank you for Ben's birthday gift however you seem to read these simple acts as a sign that you no longer need to be respectful of the above things I have requested from you. Thank you in advance, " > > Hi all, > > I've been pretty stressed lately. I'm working long hours, am > worried about my long-term relationship (whether my partner has had > enough of problems in our relationship and will leave), my therapist > has been unavailable for awhile (3 members of his partner's family > have cancer), and I'm not really sure what to do. One of the things > capping it off is that I'm REALLY angry at my nada (probably the > first time I'm feeling it). And I need to use this to make sure I > learn to start setting boundaries (I've never really done this > before with anyone). So for the moment, I'd really like to go NC > with her. I get a once a week email, and then it's another thing to > stress me out (even if there is nothing bad in it, I'm wondering > should I reply, etc...) If I just don't reply (eg send it straight > to junk mail) I feel like I'm being rude. And I don't want to cut > the relationship off forever. If I don't reply she'll send a second > email awhile later saying " did you get my previous email? " Or > she'll ring and ask. Maybe on the pretext of checking whether I'm > ok. Any suggestions on how I can just get a break for awhile? > > Thanks, > P.Bear > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 Tried it. Didn't work. Instead I was 'ambushed' at a Round Table pizza and yelled at. So much so that the Manager came out to see what was wrong, and realizing nothing, asked Nada to lower her voice because it was distrubing other customers (that went over well...not). By 'us' being 'busy', it invalidates their entire existence... or some off-the-wall garbage like that... Lynnette > > > > > > > > Hi all, > > > > > > I've been pretty stressed lately. I'm working long hours, am > > > worried about my long-term relationship (whether my partner has had > > > enough of problems in our relationship and will leave), my > > therapist > > > has been unavailable for awhile (3 members of his partner's family > > > have cancer), and I'm not really sure what to do. One of the > > things > > > capping it off is that I'm REALLY angry at my nada (probably the > > > first time I'm feeling it). And I need to use this to make sure I > > > learn to start setting boundaries (I've never really done this > > > before with anyone). So for the moment, I'd really like to go NC > > > with her. I get a once a week email, and then it's another thing > > to > > > stress me out (even if there is nothing bad in it, I'm wondering > > > should I reply, etc...) If I just don't reply (eg send it straight > > > to junk mail) I feel like I'm being rude. And I don't want to cut > > > the relationship off forever. If I don't reply she'll send a > > second > > > email awhile later saying " did you get my previous email? " Or > > > she'll ring and ask. Maybe on the pretext of checking whether I'm > > > ok. Any suggestions on how I can just get a break for awhile? > > > > > > Thanks, > > > P.Bear > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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